Monday, April 19, 2010
I had never heard the expression until today. I had a substitute strength training coach today who pointed out dozens of little things that will improve my workout. I’m so excited! She is normally the yoga instructor. She added tips about breathing and focus on core strength. In fact, I LOVE her focus on abdominals while doing biceps curls, leg abduction or adduction. I’ve been skipping doing ‘little’ muscles when I come into the Y on my own. I go right to the bench press, dead lifts, rows, pull-ups and pull-downs thinking it is most beneficial to do compound and total body exercises. But with the focus on my core, which is weak, I can improve my posture, abdominals and back while doing isolated muscle strengthening. It makes sense.
It’s great to switch up instructors once in a while. Today worked out great.
Friday, April 16, 2010
“After someone dependent on a substance stops using it, however, it often takes time for depleted dopamine receptors to return to baseline levels. For mice addicted to cocaine, it can take two days to regain normalized levels. The obese rats in the new study took two weeks to regain their baseline density of receptors.”
--an excerpt from a Scientific American article of March 23, 2010 titled Addicted to Fat: Overeating May Alter the Brain as Much as Hard Drugs (thanks, 11th_HOUR’s Blog)
Dean Anderson advised sparkers to not think of food cravings like an addiction. I agree with him. Addiction allows us to blame behavior (which we can control) on our physiology (which supposedly we can’t---except that we really can).
The Scientific American article is good news. If obese humans are like obese rats, there is hope! Likely, if I keep a streak going for 3 to 4 weeks, keeping in calorie range and exercising, I can change the number of dopamine receptors in my brain. I will not crave high fat high caloric food like I do now. It will be like a “reset”.
I’m going for a four week streak starting now.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
I am worth it. I am destined to be brilliant, beautiful, talented and fabulous. I am a child of God. I am meant to shine, to make manifest the glory of God that is within me, and to give others permission to do the same. I free myself from my own fear and by doing so I help by my example to liberate others from theirs.
I reworded this affirmation from the following poem by Marianne Williamson:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
The poem was cited by firedancer829 who said she was afraid to be thin, afraid to reach her dreams and goals. I don’t know if that’s true for me or not, but the poem touched me and I want to keep re-reading it and think about it.
I AM deserving to be fit and healthy. Right now, I am paying the piper by good eating and exercise. I had quick success at first then felt startled and uncomfortable with how ‘easy’ it was. Well, then I slid back into poor eating habits. So now I have to think, am I uncomfortable because of fear?
One of the things that happened is my husband starting asking about how much exercise I’m doing and commenting specifically on what I was eating. Worse yet, he extrapolates how much I will weigh in the future based on the rate at which I have lost – calculating the ETA (expected time of arrival) of certain goal weights. Today, he commented on my choice of a 100 calorie per 2 T organic salad dressing with ginger over a processed lower calorie alternative. I did not even get into defending the wiser healthier natural choice. He has firm convictions and I have mine about what is a healthy diet.
I think I am reacting to the feeling of his desire to control me. I resent being controlled. So I need to reframe the way I see his desire to control. I need to see it as his bumbling way of showing support and be grateful he notices and cares. Yes, that’s it! If I see his behavior (which I can’t control) in a positive light, I will maintain control of my weight loss regimen. I won’t sabotage myself by ‘acting out’ and derailing my eating. I’ll keep plugging away at the journey at my own pace. I will tune out his “ETAs” . I have been upset by DHs ETAs when the scale did not do as predicted. If I focus my control over just my eating and exercise, the scale will eventually move in a negative direction. I won’t discuss my weight loss with DH. That way, I won’t feel resentment.
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