ALYFITN   26,245
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FOR $2.50, I SABOTAGED MY WEIGHT LOSS

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

DH had a venting spell this morning. Taxes are due tomorrow, he is overloaded at work, shifts are too long, work distribution is unfair, et cetera, et cetera. He is correct in his assessment of the situation. Probably, his cheese is moved.

I binge when I decompress from his vents. I must replace this pattern of behavior with heavy cardio workouts—to sweat it out instead of binging.

But I’m an old Catholic and you, my fellow sparkers, are my confessional booth. Forgive me Sparkers for I have sinned: I went to Walmart then a movie. For $2.50, I bought one movie size box of Mike & Ike and one giant symphony chocolate bar. I ate the whole thing.

I am on my way to the Y.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ALYFITN 8/17/2011 12:13PM

    You know what? I'm 52 now. I'm re-reading my old blogs. I WOULD NEVER DO THIS NOW!!! Isn't that remarkable. I would never binge on Mike & Ike and chocolate in a movie theatre. I may overeat on blueberries yogurt and whipped cream. I would pig out on all natural ice cream. But I would not eat over-processed, dyed, artifical commercial food EVER!!!
Well, it is an accomplishment. hahaha!

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STEVIECAT4 4/15/2010 9:14AM

    hahahahahahahaha I just LOVED the way you worded this!!!

Hang in there, darlin'. So you'll reach goal a week later than planned. That's the worse that could happen so long as you only do this once in a great while.

thanks for the giggle. Confession is so good for the soul.

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ALYFITN 4/14/2010 9:37PM

    Wow! Thanks for the absolution! I burned 904 calories at the Y on the arc trainer and elliptical. I also did 30 minutes of weight lifting. A personal trainer who I don't know came up to me on my dead lifts and said she's been noticing me and I'm really using great form!! Wow, again!! This turned out to be a great night. I got fantastic support form Spark friends and a complement from a Y instructor! Yay!! emoticon

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PWRHSE2 4/14/2010 6:58PM

    Atleast you recognize the signs and corrected it by going to the Y, so congrats to you and try to do better next time. That's my confessional Advise. lol emoticon

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PAG2809 4/14/2010 6:07PM

    And you could have eaten way more than that, so you've been to the Y and I hope that you've already forgiven yourself.

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SANDYD64 4/14/2010 6:04PM

    It happens sometimes. Dont beat yourself up too much. It will be ok. When this happens, just pick yourself up and continue on your journey. Like I said... it will be ok! emoticon

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LOGOULD 4/14/2010 5:54PM

    I'm the same way when my sister gets all "needy". Somewhere between my ears and my mouth, something in my body convinces me that it requires additional nourishment to fullfill her desires and make her happy. Be strong...Or spend extra time at the guy getting strong.

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MOONCHILD17 4/14/2010 5:43PM

    I had to smile when I read this. Candy & chocolate are SUCH great comforts in stressful situations. You are forgiven and already doing your penance at the Y. Hang in there, we all fall apart sometimes and chocolate is a much better solution than many of the alternatives.
emoticon

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Be Glad Your Life Isn't Boring

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

One month ago, I would have finished the weekend in passive/aggressive mode feeling taken advantage of and tired.

Instead, I feel tired BUT appreciate that I have a DD who loves her home—the house, lakes, parents, brother, sister and food; the old Y camp where she used to work, old ‘farm friends’ she baits with carrots, bonfires and marshmallows, good conversation and the ability to bring together friends from different parts of her life who otherwise only know each other through facebook. She invited 5 college friends to my home over the weekend. DD had moved into our former “office” only two weeks ago and will be here a few months between Ohio State and grad school. Our remainder guest space includes a couple couches and 2 blow-up mattresses. Last Monday, DD asked about putting up 2 college kids for Saturday night who would be passing through Ohio from NY to Chicago. No problem. But on THURSDAY night, she added 3 more friends who would be coming in starting Friday who wanted to meet the other 2 friends. This is a bountiful bundle of friends! And I was not yet prepared.

My concerns were having the house clean—in particular the back patio room that serves as storage over the winter but needs cobwebs down and a complete wash down to ready it for summer weather. On our lake in Ohio, most folks don’t even have their boats in the water, it is so early in our season. Thank goodness we had spring fever and got that up and going during an early warm spell.

I did a lot of cooking. I used crockpots because the schedule of coming and going was crazy. The events for DD over the weekend included: a local winery, 2 visits to the farm (the second visit was with carrots), McKinley monument, boat the lake with ‘speed’ boat, boat another day with kayaks and canoe, bonfire, local college concert and bar and meet-up with still more friends from NY who came out for concert, visit the Y camp and do barrel rolls (you don’t even want to know), and LOTS of food and conversation. My other DD works a lot of hours while finishing her degree at OSU and she came home briefly as well so she could be part of the crowd. It is always a treat to see her because of her work and school schedules and social life on campus.

I remember my mother saying how exhausted she felt. I had a lot of sisters and home was sometimes exciting and crazy like this weekend. I could not appreciate nor understand my mother then—but I do now.

I need to step back and BE GRATEFUL. I need flylady for daily upkeep and be company-ready because my kids are in that age group now where—SURPRISE—there they will be and they want to share their home with others. I need to SEE this POSITIVELY and not be overwhelmed by it—not on the surface but deep down inside. It will not last long. Someday, their busy lives will be with their own little families far away and I am helping build GOOD MEMORIES now. DD did not give me much notice, we had chores that went undone that ‘needed’ done over the weekend. But her living here is temporary and I’m wise to keep things positive.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ANGNDABOYZ 4/14/2010 12:15AM

    They so won't remember the mess! All they will take away are the memories and how you never even hesitated to welcome them and their friends. Hug yourself you are a good MOMMY!!

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JLITT62 4/13/2010 11:46AM

    Housekeeping is so not my priority, and I've a lapsed fly baby. I try, but I never seem to succeed at it.

You know what, so what if some stuff didn't get done? You're right, you built great memories. Exhausting, but fun, right?

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Commitment is NOT a Yes or No

Sunday, April 11, 2010

There are only two options regarding commitment. You're either IN or you're OUT. There's no such thing as life in-between.

- Pat Riley, basketball coach
Wow. I think this is okay for a basketball coach who demands the best of players. But I am not at my best every day. I cannot live by this quote because, if I took commitment to my Spark program literally, I guess I would be ‘out’ right now.

I do not want to hit my goal weight and gain again. I have been seriously journaling and examining emotions. How did I get where I am? What do I need to change besides my calories in versus calories out? If food behavior were truly simple, I would not be overweight. There is more for me to work on than just the food and exercise. I need control of my life in many aspects. I need to forgive and love myself, to tell myself daily that I am worth it, visualize what I want in life and go after it. While I have been working on this aspect of my weight loss program, I have stopped tracking food and every single exercise. I am exercising mindlessly at home as well as attending the Y. I need to streamline documenting home exercises by lumping as calisthenics. I will continue to document each exercise at the Y because I am progressing in the amount of weights I’m lifting. I limit my computer time and am journaling instead of huddling, polling and nutrition tracking right now. I will get back to nutrition tracking some time soon. I do believe tracking is important but just can’t commit to doing the whole program well all at the same time.

There is “life in-between”. It is a life of imperfection: mis-steps followed by growth, trial and error, good days and bad. Sometimes I can adhere to only part of the program but not all of it. Commitment must have room for an imperfect me. I can strive for consistency and have some pretty long streaks. I can stay within calorie range for quite a few days in a row with an occasional outlier and I can exercise every day - some days harder than others. I guess what I’m saying is commitment is not black or white, yes or no. It is shades of gray.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JLITT62 4/11/2010 5:48PM

    I think any healthy lifestyle has room in it for some treats, too, whether that's food treats or other types of treats.

I think you can be totally committed to a healthy lifestyle -- and that means there will be times when you don't get everything done. Because you're not superwoman, you're a regular person.

And I think the work you're doing on your emotions is awesome -- so many think it's unimportant, but it's really the key.

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LINIS_THIN 4/11/2010 5:28PM

    http://www.sparkpeople.com/resource
/wellness_articles.asp?id=423R>This was a good article for both of us!
I added it to one of my blogs so I can find it.

Enjoy

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ALYFITN 4/11/2010 5:05PM

    I think my commitment is to BEHAVIOR CHANGE rather than weight loss.

Your observation of giving too much control to DH--as good a guy as he is--hit home with me. DHs moods affect my food behavior. When he has a bad day and vents, I go to comfort food. Now that I see the pattern, I'm taking back control.

Hope others get around to your blog. It was great. Thanks for stopping by!

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LINIS_THIN 4/11/2010 4:54PM

    Excellent blog!

Your committment may not waver but what you are able to DO with that committment.... all other things considered MAY vary.

I am 100% committed to weightloss. I have no intention of going back. Yet yesteray I mindlessly bought a tub of Haagan Daz in response to an emotion I'm not sure I'm really FEELING yet.
My committment helped me not dig into it till 4am when I could not sleep. My committment made me get a scale and weigh out exactly ONE serving and replace the rest of the tub.
My committment is keeping me from having it now... WHEN I REALLY WANT TO!!

Flylady says "Progress not perfection" This mantra saved my life many a time.... I am a recovering perfectionist!!

BTW (by the way) I avoid blogs that tell me that unless I exercise and eat healthy 110% of the time I will be FAT FOREVER!
Even skinny folks have snacks occasionally! They just know how much how often they can handle!



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Do You Have Problems with After Easter Candy Sales?

Tuesday, April 06, 2010

Three holidays are hard for me because they involve chocolate: Halloween, Christmas and Easter. This is the last holiday for a stretch.

I did not buy chocolate for myself for Easter. I got a couple Easter floral arrangements from the kids because I am avoiding candy. For Easter Sunday dessert, I limited myself to 2 small selections (not full servings) from the eight available from fancy bakers in the family who enjoy beautiful dessert spreads. I had made Easter baskets for the kids and DH because I love to treat them like kids and they love it as well. My college kids put the peeps in the microwave with toothpicks for peeps-wars---I had never heard of such a thing but it was hilarious! We laughed a lot b/c the baskets contained silly things like fuzzy bunny pez dispensers and old favorites like Reese’s they barter with. We traditionally HIDE the baskets and the kids as always had fun teasing each other during the hunt.

But the day after Easter, I bought a 50% off Russell Stover raspberry crème egg (120 calories) for myself. I figured purchasing one is portion control for me. Today, I went to the chocolate factory outlet and purchased fancier post-Easter chocolates because I have company over this Thursday. I am really tempted to over-do it and would have in past years. I distract myself with workouts and yard work, but honest-to-God, the untouched chocolate in my husband’s basket bothers me and I will be happy when he is done with it.

Do other Sparkers feel this way? I am so curious what other people go through. This can’t be unique to me. I recognize that I have friends and relatives who are not bothered in the least with having chocolate treats in the house. My mother-in-law could not get rid of her one pound of chocolates from Christmas and in February sent them home with another relative. I am curious for comments on this one.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JCORYCMA 4/6/2010 10:16PM

    My husband LOVES chocolate. Especially those little Hershey miniatures and he buys them in a big one lb. plus bag to keep in the freezer. I have spent years convincing myself that if it isn't premium chocolate like Godiva, it isn't worth one taste. This usually works, and like you I will rarely indulge in a piece I can buy at the mall. My trouble is I can still break out in a binge now and then and those miniatures will sing to me from the fridge! You know what I do? I eat a sour, garlicky pickle. It just takes the sweet craving right out of me for some reason. That and I laid down the law - no big bags in the house. He can keep a few small discreet packs tucked in and among the frozen broccoli! emoticon
Joanne

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LEONALIONESS 4/6/2010 4:57PM

    This is one place where I'm REALLY lucky that I'm a long time vegan. All the candy I used to love is full of animal products (dairy, eggs, gelatin) and I won't touch it.

I do, however, rail against the cruelty of the world every year that Peeps aren't vegan (nor vegetarian). Stale, chewy Peeps were always my big thing. Friends would buy boatloads of them once they went on super clearance and give me them. It saves me from myself, I guess.

Easter candy was always my favorite.
They had Reese's PB eggs (why are they so much better than the regular cups? More PB?) at the race I ran Easter Sunday. My SO is near vegan but not really so he ate one. I told him to eat it fast and not breath on me 'cause the smell would make me weep. Ha.

I miss those, Cadbury creme eggs (I have a recipe for a vegan version but it's too time intensive to bother with) and the Peeps. I don't wish I wasn't vegan so I could eat them, I wish the candy would change to something cruelty free that I could justify eating.

Until then, I'm relatively safe. I feel your pain, though. I have a hard time around vegan friendly candy/cookies/goodies, still. I'm a sweetie toothed monster!

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JLITT62 4/6/2010 4:19PM

    I have an entire draw full of chocolate & various protein bars. In getting the kitchen into shape, I've been going thru it.

I can go months only having a small piece of chocolate once or twice a day and I'm fine . . . and then one day something will call to me.

I do not even look at after-holiday sales. Why do that to myself? I know my own strengths & weaknesses.

Used to be that I'd give that sort of stuff to DH to hold for me until I asked for it, but nowadays I find I really don't need to do it. Even when I do overindulge, it's rarely more than maybe one bar of really good chocolate. Which won't kill me.

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ALYFITN 4/6/2010 2:55PM

    LessOfMe--I bought Guittard semi-sweet chocolate chips and ate the whole bag. I bought it for an SP recipe. I liked the chips more than the recipe. So I decided I can't have choc chips in the house. If I'm going to make something, I have to buy the exact quantity and use it. I don't snack on the finished product (choc chip muffins)--have no problem leaving them in the freezer for DH & kids.

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ALYFITN 4/6/2010 2:47PM

    Maybe I can use this as a strategy: I can buy the family the traditional old favorites which are commercialized processed JUNK. I can think of them that way. Then, because I am motivated by sales and 'bargains', I can look forward to buying, say, 600 total calories of indulgent chocolate. That may keep me from feeling like a martyr. It would keep me in moderation, I think. That would work for both Easter and Christmas. For Halloween, I will have to think of another strategy. All the Halloween candy is junk.

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TRIGFROST 4/6/2010 2:42PM

    My Hubby { Makes } me walk anywhere---but the Candy Isle, because He-knows I head straight for the sale-candy...so Hubby keeps me from the tempations....Thank God for Hubby....

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ALYFITN 4/6/2010 2:39PM

    I did go for one good piece--thus, I bought Russell Stover and for Thursday, Harry London. I think that is helping me keep away from the Almond Joy and Reese's egg hanging out in my husband's basket.
I've just been thinking that this is a BRAIN thing, a way of thinking that an overweight person develops. You get wired this way and need to fix it.
I am grateful for your comments.

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LESSOFME55 4/6/2010 2:36PM

    You are not alone, chocolate in any form is what I crave the most. I can honestly say that I used to sit down and eat one of those huge chocolate bars all by myself. Now I only keep the darkest chocolate chips I can find tucked away in the pantry.
One time I even tried to eat some much chocolate that I would never want it again...(what was I thinking) It didn't work.
I avoid the stores before & after any Holidays.





Comment edited on: 4/6/2010 2:41:36 PM

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NANC304 4/6/2010 2:31PM

    I cannot resist chocolate. I made baskets for our 23-year old daughter, my husband and myself. It just doesn't feel like Easter without the baskets. I am trying to limit the amount of chocolate I eat at one sitting. You're right, it is hard!

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HEATHERAY39 4/6/2010 2:20PM

    Dont feel alone in this issue!!! At my house, the Easter bunny has to bring stuff to every person or my daughter get's upset. So, I tried to put just a few little things in that I could eat seperately and log. But... then that night I ate it all! Ugh. I was not pleased with myself. I should have just got one really good piece of chocolate or something instead of trying to go for all the not so great little things.

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Overall Fitness and Activity

Tuesday, April 06, 2010

"You won't improve your overall fitness by being more active. But you can be more active by becoming more fit." from Escape your Shape by Edward Jackowski PhD

Do I believe this? What do you think?

I noticed 6 weeks into my lifestyle change, even before starting weight lifting, that I was perkier.

I have always noticed and admired old people who are spry. The Cleveland Hiking Club have spry old men who can pass me hiking uphill. I am blown away by elderly people who ski Boston Mills. They are spry—they are also graceful, don’t fall, and are much quicker than me on the black diamond runs.

I am what I am now. But I want to be a spry old lady. I want to look good on my motorcycle as soon as possible. I remember two years ago, when I drove the kids’ 50cc moped, I thought I probably looked silly. I had fun, but was aware that a large person on a little bike looks strange.

There are a lot of heavy people in Ohio who ride motorcycles. I don’t want to be fat. Today,after my Y workout, I road in the country to “cool down”. I was in my spandex and everything and I did not care.

It will be great next summer when I can do that and look great.

But about the activity and overall fitness, I think the author might be right. I have kept an active lifestyle in spite of my weight. I was hindered, but active. Today, I go up and down stairs easier and feel better doing chores. The chores probably do not keep me fit. I got out of shape when I ran a boarding stable for horses and I did a LOT of physical labor on top of my regular job, running around for my kids, hosting a foreign exchange student for the year, and mowing the expansive lawn. It was activity that plain wore me out. I rode horses less and less because by the time I was done with the barn, I had my fill of horses. I put on 20 pounds in that window of time and was unhappy—except for days I rode. I remember often being angry with my husband or kids.

I simplified my life and am working on fitness. I wish the fitness would happen faster but that is the wrong attitude. I need to address a lot of things to make this a permanent lifestyle change and I should embrace the process. So many people never take the time to analyze their lives like this and I should be grateful for this time in my life to do so. I forgive myself my past transgressions and will march on to better health with the help and support of this community on SP!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TIPPY211 4/6/2010 4:01PM

    Sounds like you are on the right track. In order to become fitter you have to increase the intensity of your workout lift heavier weights,jog faster or longer etc. To become fit takes time so enjoy the journey. Sometimes the journey is more enjoyable than the destination emoticon

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HARISHABAD 4/6/2010 12:29PM

    That is so true. I was so out of shape it affected my daily life. Only I didn't realize how much. Now that I am shaping up it's astounding to realize how much easier everyday tasks are.

emoticon

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