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What to do when you hit rock bottom?

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

I woke up feeling okay this morning. I mean I knew I still was jobless (but hey I'm still in the hunt). I knew I was still overweight (haven't dropped a pound in nearly a week and a half) but I did get that nifty new Body Fat measuring tool (can anyone say early Christmas gift that was nice enough to tell me I was 38.9% Bodyfat) in the mail...so at least I have a new number to try to lower and a new goal to focus on...so I was still okay.
But then my children asked me for lunch money and I literally had to look between seat cushions, raid the piggy banks and crawl around in my car to come up with $4.20. It wasn't a good feeling. I thought it's okay...I still have money in the bank...or at least I thought I did til I checked my balance. Then of course I check my emails and my job sites to see if someone has deemed me worthy to come in for an interview...instead I met rejection after rejection after rejection. From the outside looking in, it would appear I hit rock bottom...but in truth I am still okay. I have my family, I have my health, there is food in my fridge and a roof over our heads. So what if our Christmas tree isn't overflowing with presents this year, so what if my husband and I are seeking counseling to repair our marriage, so what if I can't find a job yet....at the end of the day as long as I remember to do this and have faith that it works I am okay. When I hit rock bottom I pray, when I hit rock bottom I remind myself that somewhere out there is someone who has it worse, when I hit rock bottom I moan for 5 minutes and rejoice for 20. There is something better on the horizon. As long as I believe this and hold on I will be okay.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WASSAYKEESIC 3/30/2014 10:42AM

    You are an inspiration to me. You are real and I can relate to you. Keep your chin up.

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MUCHOBABYWEIGHT 12/30/2013 2:26PM

    emoticon

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FIERCE_FABULOUS 12/30/2013 12:42AM

    ugh! babes! always remember, God loves you, and you are right, you have your health, your children, and a roof over your head. keep your faith, and I pray that you and your husband work things out. life sucks sometimes. things happen that we don't expect and it hits you upside the head like a steel bat. the only thing we can do is push forward and make the best of it all and pray that everything will only get better. God bless you and I will pray for you and your family. emoticon mm emoticon emoticon

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LESLIES537 12/17/2013 3:11PM

    You are so right. Keep the faith and stay strong. God's got this! emoticon emoticon

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FUNGIRL81005 12/17/2013 12:09PM

    A Prayer to Find Employment

God be with me today in finding employment. Lead me to work that I love, and that has value. Guide me to a place with an atmosphere of respect and cooperation, in a safe and happy environment. Help me to find fulfillment mentally and financially. Thank you God, for bringing this to me today!
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TEENY_BIKINI 12/17/2013 11:45AM

    emoticon

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BRAINYBLONDE5 12/17/2013 11:37AM

  Don't get discouraged! have you tried indeed.com? thats an excellent site for job searches! is there a temp agency nearby that you can look into? its always darkest before the dawn, and things will turn up. Prayers will be sent your way!!! emoticon

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Where in the world have I been?

Sunday, December 08, 2013

It's been nearly a year since I have been on the Spark...and I admit I have missed it. I didn't know how much until I watched my weight climb back up to 180 and began to watch my husband become more and more distant. I started to wonder what happened to me, where did I fall off track? What was I doing wrong? For so long everything seemed to be going right. I admit I lost my focus when I tried being a Beachbody coach (I am no longer a coach btw), my journey lost it's focus on my own fitness as I tried to guide and support others to get a grip on theirs. I lost the joy in my workouts, I lost the joy in my journey, what had been for the purpose of regaining my health, became all about the bottom line and meeting the companies sale goals. That wasn't fun for me. I became bitter against the multi-level marketing approach and I left the company, I felt like a bit of a failure. I stopped working out and started back to working outside of my home.
The job I had was sitting still for 8-10 hours a day, staring at a computer screen and being mentally battered by the clients I was there to serve. I was mentally exhausted and I began to eat and drink my stress....no wonder my weight that had gotten as low as 159 began to climb. I knew better I just couldn't stop myself.
Fast forward to finding out I was being laid off from my job, my teenage daughter was pregnant in her junior year of highschool and my husband had taken to locking his phone and barely speaking to me...and I was pretty much at rock bottom.
Then a good friend called me. She'd always been my fitness mentor and the person I looked up to the most because she showed me time and time again what a strong fit, capable woman was. We hadn't talked in months, I'd been avoiding her and come to find out she'd been avoiding me. Her dad was diagnosed with cancer, she was a mess, though she was still training folks (she's a personal trainer), she'd gained 50 lbs and she was wallowing deep in shame. She called me because she needed support, she needed to get back on track and she needed me to help her. We talked about everything that had happened with us and we laughed about how we both were guilty of avoiding the other because we weren't yet ready to face our truths. We agreed to get ourselves together, and we set our goals for the weeks to come.
My first step even before heading out to the gym was to get back to Spark. This site saved me before, it helped to keep me focus, the support I found here was immeasurable and the support I was allowed to give to others was invaluable. I am climbing back out of the pit, I am planning that this is the LAST TIME I see 180 on my scale. I am claiming my victory right now, because where I have been is not a place I ever want to visit again.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LOSEITFORLIFE83 12/10/2013 8:38PM

    This blog i can relate to because I have let myself get off track and I couldn't regain focus, all because of my own lack of self control. I see that you're regaining yours and I'm getting mine back too. emoticon Sorry for hubby being distant and what you're dealing with, with your daughter. I hope hubby comes around and I know things will get easier for your daughter!!

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CODYG123 12/9/2013 12:37PM

    emoticon ... It's never to late to get on the right track to healthy. And I agree Spark helps with the focus.
I hope 2014 is far less stressful.


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SWEETZMIX 12/9/2013 9:21AM

    Girl I had no idea what you were going through!!!!! Thats a lot for someone to deal with. Im slowly making my way back to spark & need to post my own blog. But you hang in there. The great thing about Spark is that it's a great place to get things off your chest. Stay strong! And youre doing the right thing by taking care of you right now b/c you're going to need all your strength.

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SEABREEZE65 12/8/2013 4:53PM

    You have been through a lot this past year or so.
Honesty is a great step on this journey that has to be repeated over and over. A good reminder to myself to continually face who I am and how that differs from who I think I should be.

Have a great day......

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MELICHACHA 12/8/2013 3:07PM

    Welcome back! (Though, I only just came back myself... but whatever... lol)

You have had a hell of a year, but you're here, and you're making the right moves. Like the saying says (and I'm paraphrasing, but still), our greatness isn't measured by whether we get knocked down, but by how hard we fight to get up.

You've got this. emoticon



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SETTIMIA 12/8/2013 2:18PM

    WOW a great blog, you can do this girl, you have been through a lot and now a new beginning is here for you.

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SUZIPAM1 12/8/2013 2:01PM

    so so so true

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Write a caption Part 2

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

One of my friends did this on FB and the responses were hilarious. So I decided to share it here and lighten the mood a bit. Let's see where this goes. Write a caption for the girl on the telephone....

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WASSAYKEESIC 11/30/2012 5:49AM

    Hold the phone! I think I just saw Justin Bieber!

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CHERKYLE 11/12/2012 11:51AM

    lol

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SWEETZMIX 7/29/2012 6:40PM

    "GURL HOLD ON, I JUST A WHOLE LOT OF MAN WALK BY....give me a second to get myself together." lol

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FUNGIRL81005 7/26/2012 11:14PM

    I can't believe she can wear a white skirt to the basketball court!!!Really???

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Coming and going and not standing still.

Monday, July 23, 2012

I haven't been on Spark in months, but that doesn't mean I haven't been active. I have been extremely active running my business, getting people started on thier own fitness journeys and working on my MBA. I think of all of my spark friends often and apologize if I left anyone hanging. I have made some awesome progress and plan to log in more here more often. Check out my journey thus far, please help me to play catch up on what's been happening with you all and again forgive me for being out of touch so long.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WASSAYKEESIC 11/30/2012 5:50AM

    I miss your posts. I have taken a break too, but I"m back and have lost 15 lbs. I hope you are well. I am looking forward to reading your posts when you get back on a regular posting schedule!

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HOPEFUL2DAY! 7/23/2012 6:48PM

    Good for you! No need to apologize, you're still taking care of yourself and working on things you need to! :)

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Write a caption

Thursday, May 31, 2012

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FIERCE_FABULOUS 6/12/2012 4:05PM

    i was gonna put a quote... but then i figured it would be too racy for SP emoticon emoticon

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MOMGETSSPARK 6/6/2012 9:44PM

    Got milk, no! Got waaaaattttttter!!!

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JENJESS48 6/1/2012 7:55AM

    Singin' in the rain, just singin' in the rain!

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FUNGIRL81005 5/31/2012 10:24PM

    HOT CHILLLLEEEE!!


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THE_NEW_MELISSA 5/31/2012 12:06PM

    Need....water.....NOW!

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CAT609 5/31/2012 9:05AM

    Ahhhh! I was so thirsty! emoticon

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