Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Fist I need to say .. These are not all my words, I do however see Quotes on here all the time. So I will continue to share quotes from this great book... Running on Empty, meditations for Indispensable Women, by Ellen Sue Stern...
There are no shortage of good days. It is good lives that are hard to come by. ~ Anne Dillard
How do you feel at the end of the day? Do you fall asleep with sweet satisfaction of having lived another day to it's fullest?
Making choices that make for a meaningful life ---a life that reflects who we really are, a life that we can be proud of---is a constant and conscious pursuit.
Each day we make choices that cumulatively add up to a life. I choose to write because it is important to express myself. I choose to play with my children( grandchildren because being a mother matters. Intentional choices turn good days into good lives.
My life is of my own making.
Hope you are having a Wonderful Week, always, Ali
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
I'm sorry for this blog in advance!! I'm having a really Negative day! Family crap, That I'm going to try to stay out of!! hard to do after I already opened my mouth more than once. And I'm so sorry C you did not deserve to be talked to like that by J or S , I'd like to smack them both and wash J's mouth out with soap!!
My grandsons are having some adjustment problems among other things, They never know when they are going to see their mom anymore and another boyfriend that they got attached to is out of their life. my youngest one has been acting up so much in school that I need to have him checked for ADD, I would say most is circumstances, but it wasn't great before and things have just escalated.
My mom has been forgetting things A lot, and just not feeling real well. taking tylanol ( her cure all) before she can get up in the morning, having bad coughing attacks every morning with just a little exertion, and just not getting out much because of either hurting or not breathing very well when she does very much... Of course she says this is all normal and 80 yr olds are supposed to feel this way, She won't talk to the doc about oxygen, or use a scooter or wheel chair because she says those things are for people who "Really" need them...
I lost 10 lbs and I'm so happy about that!
but I'm feeling so crappy I really want to go get some comfort food , like a big bag of peanut M & M's red liquorice, and and a bag of salty fried potato chips!!
Hello my name is Ali, I AM an Emotional eater , lol :)
I'm not getting or eating any of that, I had a bowl ( probably 2 servings) of cheereo's and a peach...
I hurt so bad from too much exercise yesterday I need to take it easy today. but I'm hoping that I can still figure out something productive to do with myself.
my one faithful blog reader, my sis, I always admired her and thought she was pretty wonderful, but the last few weeks She has went far and above that! don't worry sis about all the hooy going on around here. and I'm sure mom will get feeling better, I think part of it is even if I call her 2 or 3 times a day I still don't go over and spend time with her near enough!
there are tears in my eyes, of frustration, sadness, and even Happiness because I am going to do this weight loss and I Will get healthier and Happier and even today I know it!
big hugs for anyone who just made it through this vent. thank you, bless and keep you all happy safe and healthy! I'm going to go do something positive and productive!
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
It's my dad's birthday! It was supposed to be my son's also but he was born 4 weeks early, he still reminds me a lot of my daddy,
Dad died 26 years ago, He would have been 88 today.
I still love , miss and think about him all the time. We used to always go fishing on his BD if at all possible. That was his favorite thing in life next to his kids and grand kids.
Most years I have to admit this is about the time I start getting down, It has been one of my PTSD triggers, but some years I manage to turn it around, This is going to be one of them...
I'm going to do things today dad would like to do, or would like me to do for myself.
So as a BD present to him and to myself I'm determined to have a good day!
I can't find anyone to fish with so I'm going to work in my garden, ( dad had a beautiful garden ( flowers and vegetables.) I'm going to pull weeds, as long as it was outside dad loved it , he said pulling weeds was a good time to think.
I'm going to take a walk somewhere in nature. Even with a cane dad loved walking in the mountains or by the river, anywhere it was outside and not a lot of people. and I'm going to do something with my grand kids, even if its read a book before baseball. I couldn't count the number of books dad and I read. So today is for you dad, Happy heavenly birthday! I hope you can be fishing somewhere!
Now for the 2nd part of my blog: more Running on Empty.
Oh dear! Oh dear! I shall be too late - The White Rabbit
Running running running like the rabbit in Alice in wonderland. But what's the rush?
In our frantic drive to get there, we forgot where we were going. Each day is one long race with ourselves, but there's no way to win. We can't savor the joy of being alive when we're perpetually running.
We need to slow down and take our time. We deserve to enjoy life, not just hurry through it.
If it's really important, I can take my time and do it right.
Have a beautiful day! Ali
PS: I do want to say I have another dad, he's supposed to be my step dad, but he has been a part of our family for so many years , helped me , hugged me , been there when I needed him.. he is no loner a step... He's just my other dad! and thank God for both of them!
Monday, September 27, 2010
I'm going to try to blog a little every day.
I don't know if many people read my blogs, ( I'm not that exciting)
but When I'm feeling kind of down , or down right depressed this book has helped me put things in a little better perspective.
So along with a few titbit's of things going on in my life .. Like I was so happy yesterday when I drove to the store and the steering wheel didn't rub my thighs when I turned the wheel!! I must have lost some inches, I need to measure and keep track, hopefully it will continue to help stay positive
I bought this book " Running on Empty"several years ago when I was dealing with not working (outside the home) because of arthritis, degenerating disc and bone disease, PTSD, and a couple other things, and was really down on myself, It helped me know it's ok to be me, working or not! The book is written by Ellen Sue Stern.
Meditations for the Indispensable woman:( it fits for a lot of men too.)
It's easier to do things myself.
It's the battle cry of women everywhere. And to a point truer words were never spoken. It is easier to do it all yourself than to wait for someone else to do it or teach them how to do it, or forgive them when they don't do it right. But in the long run, taking on too much responsibility wears you out, your like a dying battery.
As we begin a new year, know that letting go of some of our responsibility frees us to focus on what's truly important! Begin the process of recovery by repeating these words:
I will carefully choose how I expand my energy.
Well that's the first of over 200, I'm hoping by the time I have read and typed all of them I will be a lot healthy in mind and body!
Wishing everyone a great day! Take care of you!
Friday, September 24, 2010
I swore I would make up for my backsliding yesterday, and I did IT!
well not "IT" I haven't done that in longer than I can remember
but it is 2:30 and other than dinner I have accomplished all my goals for today, and more! :)
I was feeling kinda down and lazy this morning and I read a few peoples blogs who have it way worse than I do and a much better attitude.
I read a few quotes " I love quotes"!
and I gave myself a big talking to. Telling me, "I need to forget about the negative in my life , concentrate on the positive and figure out everything I can do and control , not all the things I can't"
First I called my son who had the day off work and asked him if he wanted to go take a walk or easy hike somewhere.. I even added that the walk//hike could end at a good fishing spot :) I figured that part would get him.. but he had other plans with my niece.
So then feeling a bit lower , I changed my status, I know me and if I put it in writing ( ok type) where everyone can see then it's like a binding contract for me.. kinda like when the kids get me to say " I promise". and I did what I typed , I walked with my little pug around the whole subdivision, it's supposed to be 1 mile , I'm hoping that's correct. I took my time and took a few photos for my shutterbugs team. and it was so nice I decided I would rest and attempt the yard.
It was cloudy and low 70's when I took my walk, the clouds left when I started mowing the lawn!
70's turned into 80's and when I was about half way done a few drops hit my hand, I thought YAY its starting to rain. lol .. It was me raining sweat ,, I know Yuck! but at least I knew I was getting a good workout!! and I also got my pedometer today
So I now know it takes 2320 steps to mow my lawn and it is just under 1 mile .98.
So anywho I just wanted to thank those people with encouraging words and even a gentle push in the right direction. !! It helped!!
Now I need to go take a nice cold shower and get this :rain " off me !! Then go pick the kiddos up from school! Have an awesome day!!!
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