AKELAZ   70,189
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Taking advice

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

In my Inbox this morning along with Personal messages and of course Spark messages was an email from the Rosemary Conley website to which I subscribe. Normally I don’t find these emails more than passingly helpful but this morning’s message gave me a lightbulb moment. It was a video discussion between Dr Raj Persaud and Rosemary Conley regarding taking advice – specifically, of course, weightloss advice. The theme was that diet and exercise advice given in the right spirit also needs to be taken in the right spirit. No point – they said – in going back time and time again to your dietary advisor and ‘blaming’ that person for the fact that the weight isn’t coming off i.e. ‘I’m following your advice and it just isn’t working so it must be your fault – your advice isn’t helpful’.
Not for one second would I say that Spark advice, information, tools etc aren’t helpful but the point is that I, the dieter, must take responsibility for the way in which I take the advice. If it isn’t working for me, if I am not losing weight (and I’m not currently) I need to tweak the advice – no point in blaming the advisor, I’m the one with the problem and need to work on my own weightloss problems myself rather than whining on the Spark blogs or message boards and hoping for that magic wand we all dream of.
There is loads of excellent advice here, as we all know, and I just need to use it in my own way and for my own circumstances and, indeed, system – figure out what helps my OWN body the most and then just do it. If it stops working for me then I’m the one who needs to make changes.
So – new day – new resolution. I see SPfriends here working so hard at tweaking their regimes and, setbacks not withstanding, they are the ones who are getting to where they want to be because they persevere in the way that is good for THEM.
I will be among their number one of these days – SOON.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MADDE3333 7/5/2010 7:44AM

    Sonia, lets do what's best for our health one moment at a time, and eventually it will happen. Great post!

emoticon emoticon emoticon


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LKWQUILTER 6/29/2010 6:54AM

    That hurts but is so true Sonia. I needed that this morning to help me stay on track. It is frustrating to be stuck--noone's fault but mine. Hope you find the right tweak for your body.

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NEW-CAZ 6/29/2010 3:19AM

    Loving your attitude Sonia you've really turned your thinking around hun and you're on your way to a healthier and fitter you! emoticon emoticon

Good video too! emoticon

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A day in the sun

Sunday, June 27, 2010

I spent today on the beach with some friends - an ex-ballerina who now teaches Pilates and a Feldenkrais practitioner. I have allowed myself to become massively unfit and I really want to change that as far as possible and become stronger and regain some stamina.

I have done Pilates with this teacher before - including a blissful week at a Holistic Centre in Crete - so she knows me well and I had a great session with her. I also spent some time with her husband, the 'Feldenkrais man', who met her when she was Prima Ballerina in the Scottish Ballet here in the UK. His role in the company was to keep the dancers' bodies in good condition and help them with the stresses and strains that ballet dancing causes. He now helps people with sports inujuries and the like and also non-athletes with muscle strains and joint problems. Since Christmas I have had considerable pain in my legs and my Doctor and a couple of specialists have had no diagnosis to offer. So I also had a Feldenkrais session and will need quite a few more if he is to be able to help me.

After that we went swimming in the sea - I had a rather unfortunate time in the swimming pool recently and I wanted the freedom of swimming without lanes full of people swimming far faster than I. I love swimming and used to be a strong swimmer but the idleness of recent years has taken it's toll and I want to be confident in the water again. It all went quite well so that has made me happy and provided the weather holds I will be repeating the whole experience.

We had planned a barbecue but in fact were so hot that we went back to their place and made a huge and luscious salad which seemed more appropriate. (Also an excuse to watch the England/Germany match)

All in all a great day which hopefully will be repeated and set me off on a healthier way of living.

Only fly in the ointment was seeing England knocked out of the World Cup

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EPIPHANYANGEL 6/27/2010 5:34PM

    Sounds like a great day.

The match result was a bit of a shocker.

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NEW-CAZ 6/27/2010 3:57PM

    I am so glad you had such a great time today Sonia- what a wonderful way to spend the hottest day in the UK so far this year!
Except seeing England slaughtered emoticon

Hope your evening is equally as nice and you round it off with a peaceful sleep- which might be difficult in this heat

Luv and hugs emoticon

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_COSMOPAULATAN_ 6/27/2010 3:47PM

    Sounds like an amazing day!

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OOPS!! Double post!!

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Never know how that happens :-(

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TRENTDREAMER 6/25/2010 6:17PM

    Like a co-worker of mine says, "Don't hate computers. They're only human".

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NEW-CAZ 6/24/2010 3:25PM


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MBSKIT 6/24/2010 2:52PM

    emoticon it's the Spark Ghost! Hitting that button when you aren't looking!

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My light grey line

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Since joining the 10 minute Daily Exercise Streak Challenge I have felt really encouraged to exercise - and perversely more than 10 minutes per day. My Mother used to tell me that I was just contrary (well, my middle name is Mary and the nursery rhyme has followed me thro life) and plainly she was right! So - today, thanks to gentle advice from a good SP friend to do some exercise that I really enjoy, I decided to go swimming.

It is probably a year since I swam and it was not an entirely happy experience because I have got older and let my muscle tone go. I used to love swimming and indeed swam for my county (guess that would be 'state' in the US) at one point but I have let myself become extremely unfit. However I miss swimming so off I went to the local pool in the hope that something would have improved.

I was entirely horrified at how slow I have become even in the past year and got out of the pool in disgust after 20 mins. Instead of letting this get the better of me, my new challenge to myself is to improve this situation and get back some strength and speed. I have arranged to go to a good friend close to where I live for some individual toning and stretching and for Pilates, which she teaches and I enjoy. Slowly slowly I will get to where I want to be.

This is another example of the ‘light grey line’ I have been recommended to draw by yet another wise SP friend - a line that is not black or white but something in between - where I don't throw up my hands in horror and stop trying because I am not doing things perfectly but have patience and gently develop the better habits recommended here on Spark with some leeway for lapses. In this case the aim is to build up to more and better strength.
So I will be back in the pool very soon and following the good advice I am finding here from you great Sparkers.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TRENTDREAMER 6/25/2010 6:16PM


I'm thinking of starting to train for a triathlon, which would involve swimming. I'm still not in good enough shape where I would be caught dead in trunks, but who knows. Soon maybe.

Congrats on not giving up!

I wish there was a way I could make my Background color light grey on my SparkPage.

Have a great weekend!

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NEW-CAZ 6/24/2010 3:17PM

    But you DID 20 MINUTES SONIA emoticon emoticon emoticon and I'm sure you'll be pleased you made the commitment to your friend.

Small steps hun and you'll reap great rewards PROMISE!
Take it slow and enjoy the process and don't expect perfection- no one is perfect- just ENJOY!!!
Proud of you for making the move and you should be too.
And you said you were sinking into lethargy! No you're not!!!!
Hope the combination of swimming and Pilates continues to rock your boat.
Hope your Thursday is panning out well, the weather has been very hot here and has only just cooled enough for me to do some cardio.
emoticon emoticon

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MBSKIT 6/24/2010 2:54PM

    emoticon good for you on getting back in the pool and not giving up but coming up with a plan to get to where you want to be!

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Drawing the line - but where?

Sunday, June 20, 2010

I went to a funeral last week. I wanted to post a blog about it because I have things to say – but I have been reflecting on how and what to say without perhaps drawing a pack of cards down on my head from Sparkers making the huge efforts of moderation that we all are.

This was a very longstanding friend who was my opposite neighbour for 20 years until I moved to Brighton 12 years ago. He was a huge, generous personality and a very good friend to everyone he knew. Everyone is devastated – particularly, of course his wife and adult daughter. It was a harrowing but happy funeral with lots of memories, tears and laughter, which inevitably made us all feel kind of better in the end.

He was not only a big personality – he was a big drinker (neat vodka, being Ukrainian) and a big eater - wonderful traditional rich stews which he made from fatty red meat – huge suet dumplings – big platters of cheese - butter on everything. He loved getting us round his table and plying us all with food from ‘the old country’. He loved drinking brandy and coffee in good weather on Saturday mornings under the apple trees in my garden. Then his wife would come in from the Saturday morning cello lessons that she gave and we would all put together a large late lunch which we ate with our children.

It was a wonderful time in my life, coloured by his generosity and by the food, fun and entertainment he offered (he was a pretty successful classical violinist but loved to play Ukrainian folk music to us all once the vodka kicked in).

I don’t have to add that he has died younger than we would all have wished. Too young to see his daughter marry or have the pleasure of grandchildren. It was his choice – he thought he was immortal – he thought he would be the one to avoid the clogged arteries and high blood pressure. He was wrong, of course, and I guess this blog is because I am wondering where exactly one draws the line between a long healthy life and a life of big food, drink and fun for family and friends who find themselves alone earlier than strictly necessary.

That line is certainly there - but today I am finding it hard to see exactly where it is.

I should add however that at the funeral I didn't abandon the Spark principles I have been fighting so hard to acquire. I ate very carefully from the loaded table, drank mostly water and actually took myself for a walk when it got hard. So maybe there is some kind of hope for me yet.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TSEWARD 6/26/2010 10:00AM

    Very insightful. I am very sorry to hear of your loss. If there could be a positive (and I apologize...I am not making light of the loss of a loved one...absolutely nothing positive about death) losing a loved one really makes us reflect on how we are living our lives, choices we are making, and reminds us not to procrastinate. And there is LOTS AND LOTS of hope for you. I have no doubts in your determination to live a healthy life. You are doing awesome!


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TRENTDREAMER 6/20/2010 8:28AM

    I'm terribly sorry to hear about your friend.

Don't draw a line. Choose "light grey". I'll blog about it.

Comment edited on: 6/20/2010 8:36:14 AM

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MEDDYPEDDY 6/20/2010 4:35AM

    Yesterday I was at a party for a senior writer who retired - she chosed to do it at 65 because she wants to enjoy life the years left. She has children and grandchildren, her husband died from a heart-attack seven or eight years ago.

This autumn she will go to Assisi (Italy) with a church choir and another friend has asked her if she will accompany to Ulan Bator to fix some library or something like it...

She hopefully has many years left to enjoy family, friends, her garden, travels... life!
And that view inspired me to think that I also want many years ahead because there is so much to enjoy in life. Things happens and my destiny is not all in my hands but there are things I can do to make all fun thing reachable. One is to take better care of my health.

I am sorry for your loss but thank you for your thoughts!

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NEW-CAZ 6/20/2010 4:05AM

    Hi Sonia
First I must say how sorry I am that you've lost a dear friend and that his family now has to go on without him. He sounds quite a character and your tribute to him was touching- I could visualise a very loved man.

Eating and living healthily means just that-you can drink alcohol...but not to excess, you can eat cake....but not to excess.
There is no reason not to eat out and enjoy family occasions.
There's a phrase-"moderation in all things"

There is a suggested norm for exercise- 3 x 30 cardio sessions a week and 2-3 ST.
Unless you live a sedentary life there is no other requisite. If you chose to do more; for fun, for running marathons, triathlons and those are your goals-go for it!

But most people just want to be around for their kids, be able to get out and enjoy their retirement, move freely etc
It's all about balance!

And you're already balancing your life style; careful eating and small spats of regular exercise and taking on board the elixir of life (water) so of course there is hope for you, you are doing an amazing job Sonia.....and don't you forget it emoticon emoticon

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