AKELAZ   76,870
60,000-79,999 SparkPoints
AKELAZ's Recent Blog Entries

2013 - belatedly

Monday, January 14, 2013

Iím finding it hard to get going here again and I had promised myself January would be the month when I started to re-group and lose some of my regained pounds. I know Iím too easily diverted and de-focused and the work involved in having fun over the Christmas/New Year period , plus the family rows that came from nowhere (which have really brought me down) and working away from home for the first week of January followed by a kidney infection that was a lot worse than it needed to be because I ignored it in favour of all the above have combined to set me back before Iíve even got going.
I have to make a decision about all this Ė certainly thatís whatís needed if Iím ever to achieve a healthier state of both mind and body. So, regardless of the fact that Iím not really ready, Iím going for it Ė just have to see what happens Ė no real plan although Iíve been searching around for the inspiration that is always available here if I just look for it and beginning to formulate a way forward. Iíve been around on Spark long enough to know the HOW of doing it Ė I just need to find the positivity Ė and gumption - to follow that through. Truly hoping that this will be the year.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MEDDYPEDDY 1/21/2013 2:44AM

    Sometimes I find it really depressing that I really donīt have an alternative...either I try or I give up and giving up leads to such a misery that it is not an option...

Sometimes reluctant and sometimes enthusiastic I will keep trying and hope that 2013 will be the year which ends with me weighing less than when it started.... emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
PATIPAJ 1/20/2013 9:52PM

    In an effort to give you some comforting and support, I am struggling to say something that will give you the strength to get on that path again, or at long last...to find it.
I bet you could agree with yourself right now, that you know exactly what you need to do.
But there is the "other you" that fights that, and wins...so far.

Which "YOU" has the most peace? That's the one to follow.

You think..."but I will miss out on so much...." well, that is a lie. So who is your friend, your better self that knows exactly what to do, but you choose not to do it. Or, the other "you" that keeps you stuck in this awful pergatory of knowing, suffering, and doing nothing. ? I have no answers for you....you have them all stuck down tight in your heart. You must dig down and get them, and don't listen to any other voice but the one that tells you what you know you must do.

I don't know if this will help, but it's where I was, and God willing, I will never go back there again.

Report Inappropriate Comment
SPARKLEIIGHGAL 1/19/2013 11:12AM

    I know exactly how you feel. Getting fit and losing weight are completely the last things on my mind.
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
PINKTINK1623 1/16/2013 7:32AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
CATLADY52 1/14/2013 6:53PM

    You are not alone in trying to get things under control. There are a lot of us who are in the same boat. I guess we should all paddle. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MARTY728 1/14/2013 2:04PM

    Sorry about the family rows! I always try to speak to both sides in family disagreements. Even if I am directly involved in the arguement. If I am a bystander, then I try to help negotiate a common ground between the combantants. Don't let the stress get to you. Family, can't live with them at times and can't disown them. emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
TOPS-TORTOISE 1/14/2013 1:57PM

    You're not alone. I'm finding it hard to get going again too. I'm tracking calories and I'm doing a little better, but there i still room for lot of improvement.

My knee has been bothering me lately. I slipped and fell stepping out of the shower a few weeks ago and tweaked my knee a little bit. I didn't think think anything of it at the time because it didn't really hurt much. It hasn't gotten any better since then, it's only gotten worse.

I don't like going to the doctor for every little ache or pain, but I suppose I should go just to make sure I didn't pull a tendon or crack something. That doesn't do anything to improve my motivation when I'm trying to get back into the habit of exercising again. At least I can still do deep water exercise since there is no stress on my knee in the water. Maybe I just need to focus on what I can do instead of what I can't do.

I have to start somewhere making small changes one step at a time. Those small changes will add up to big success. If I just keep doing what I'm doing I'll slide back into he groove again and get going.

I don't think anyone can tell us anything we don't already know about losing weight. We all know the HOW part. It's the DO part that we seem to have trouble with. We can do this. Let's break the curse and make 13 a lucky number.

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
NEW-CAZ 1/14/2013 12:50PM

    Sonia you have had it tough recently and I know your mind is elsewhere right now
but if you at least eat sensibly, and once you're feeling well enough again, getting some walking in, your MOJO will show up again.
Spring is around the corner, you can get into the garden more, enjoy the seafront walks more. Ark at me, getting you out of a depressive state emoticon

Baby steps...one after the other will get you to the finish line.
Don't be so hard on yourself, I know what's going on and know that once this "incident" is put to bed you'll be your old self (I hear you...*not so much of the old*)

gentle emoticon emoticon emoticonTOGETHER emoticon

Comment edited on: 1/14/2013 12:51:28 PM

Report Inappropriate Comment
PINKANGEL73 1/14/2013 12:09PM

    Hey hun, I'm not really in the mood for it either but we're in this for life right? Life always has ups and downs and the downs make it harder but that is just part of it. We can't wait for the good times - got to keep at it all the time and try to stop and think and make good choices emoticon more often than bad ones. emoticon

I ate and drank two days' worth of calories on Saturday when we had some family over for a meal!! emoticon emoticon But that is no reason to stop trying to do better and I have done better since.

Sorry if I sound preachy - you are far more experienced on here than me! Just want to encourage you because I know you will feel better when you're back in the zone emoticon

BIG emoticon xx

Comment edited on: 1/14/2013 12:10:05 PM

Report Inappropriate Comment
TIME2BLOOM4ME 1/14/2013 11:03AM


Report Inappropriate Comment


Friday, October 19, 2012

There was quite a lot on Spark yesterday about the support, encouragement and understanding that all of us give each other. Where Ė as someone asked Ė would we all be without each other? Indeed! I - for one - would be long gone. As it is, I simply canít bring myself to let down all of those who have kept me going Ė all of them with far too generous souls to hold departure against me but still I just canít do that. For me that kind of friendship is the essence of Spark.

Itís a while since I blogged. I have not given up, but have been focusing on other things. Iíve been in Dorset finishing the renovation of my tiny country cottage. It went well Ė and there are only a few final things to do. It has taken the best part of five years but I wanted a project and have done most of it myself Ė tiling floors and walls, painting everywhere, putting up shelves and making curtains and lose covers. Oh Ė and digging most of the garden over. Of course Iíve had help with the technical or really heavy stuff Ė some paid Ė a lot from my sons. The work has certainly been good for calorie burning but even so Ė in these last few weeks I totally lost focus and ate (and drank!) what was easy. I tried to plan but not enough Iím afraid. I tracked nothing. Typical!! And frightening that habits that I thought I had put in place forever just slithered out of my grasp. *TRY HARDER* as my school reports used to say.

I am actually slightly horrified at how close I am to the end of all my renovations. What am I going to do with myself NOW? Iím a person who needs to have a project on the go. SO Ė my next project is going to be - - - ME!! I donít weigh more than once a month Ė on the 25th - so I donít actually know for certain at the moment, but Iím more likely to have gained rather than lost this month despite all the hard work I have put into the house. What Iím really doing here is owning up to the fact that Iíve been B-A-AD Ė big-time. Having no time is my excuse but I could have been better if Iíd wanted to Ė there was a great blog to this effect recently Ė Ďif you truly want to then you can find the the timeí was the message. Iím engraving that on my brain! What I really need to do is get back the discipline that I had acquired and that was really helping me to shed pounds Ė FINALLY - after several years of stop-start here on Spark.
So thatís my aim for the next six weeks Ė eat better Ė certainly drink less wine Ė and re-launch some formal exercise Ė before my most recent efforts are wasted. It would be terrible to let go of the progress I have made. l have to REALLY train my bad habits out of myself so I donít fall back on them when stress or other things occur in my lifeĖ but itís harder than I expected. Shouldnít they have gone by now? Well Ė apparently not. Today I read another blog by another Sparker Ė the essence of which was Ė when tempted in whatever way Ė take deep breaths and think it out rather than giving in..
So many words of wisdom here on Spark which I store in an ĎInspirationí file on my laptop.

So dear Spark friends Ė I thank you for all the times you have inspired me and even emoticon me. I will happily do the same for you

emoticon emoticon emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CATLADY52 10/20/2012 4:34PM

    "Life got in the way" while you were getting your self in order. emoticon can be your motto for now. emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SPARKLEIIGHGAL 10/20/2012 11:15AM

    Don't beat yourself up. You have been busy busy and needing some sustenance to keep your pecker up. Well done you on completing your little house. Wonderful. Now concentrate on yourself for a change. WTG emoticon xx

Report Inappropriate Comment
TRENTDREAMER 10/20/2012 7:59AM

    Hay there! Thank you for your recent comment on my blog this week. It's really good to see you again. Congrats on the near completion of the house.

If I haven't said it enough (or even if i have), "Thank you for your friendship"

"What Iím really doing here is owning up to the fact that Iíve been B-A-AD Ė big-time. Having no time is my excuse but I could have been better if Iíd wanted to "
* You use very judgmental (almost morally so) phraseology here and in other places in your blog.

I have gained 10 pounds in the last few months and I have not used the terms "bad" or "need to do better". If you consider your current state to be problematic, then treat what's causing it as a problem (not a moral indictment or reason to self-judge)

Below is a blog I wrote a while back. It's verbose, but I mean what I say in it.

Much Love emoticon emoticon

- Trent

Report Inappropriate Comment
PINKANGEL73 10/19/2012 6:57AM

    Lovely to see you blogging again Sonia. Ditch the guilt hun. You've not been BAD, just HUMAN. If you could repeat the same actions perfectly week after week without ever slipping up you would be a ROBOT! And who wants that?

SUCCESS is not about never falling down. It is about always picking yourself up again and again - keeping on going regardless.

FAILURE is when you fall down and stay down. That is not you, Sonia x


Report Inappropriate Comment
NEW-CAZ 10/19/2012 6:11AM

    Sonia everyone's priorities change from time to time and it's so easy to feel you've slipped off track.
Just stop and think for a minute.
It's because you've been so active that you've not tracked- BUT you HAVE been more active.
You've had the occasional foray into bad eating- BUT you've probably needed those extra calories to get you through your busy days.

And who can blame you for winding down from all your toil and taking time out with an ikkle drinkie poo..
I reckon come the 25th you'll be pleasantly surprised when you face the dreaded scale emoticon so don't diss yourself so much. You've been on the go for weeks now-major calorie burning!!!

Nice to hear you are concentrating on you now though, especially since your recent emails. Gotta take care of Numero Uno hun emoticon

Have a good weekend emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 10/19/2012 6:12:19 AM

Report Inappropriate Comment
LIFETIMER54 10/19/2012 5:52AM


Report Inappropriate Comment

For the Grannies amongst us . . .

Thursday, September 27, 2012

My younger grandson has just reached three years old almost without my noticing - time flies when you're having fun!
He went to his Pre-school for the first time this week having been prepared by his parents plus a home visit from his teacher AND a preparatory visit to the nursery where he spent an hour without his Mother.
Despite all he was apparently OK but quiet whilst he was there for his first 'proper' morning and had a rather puzzled look.
When my daughter-in-law arrived to pick him up his face lit up and he squealed: 'Mummy!!! You found me! Well done!'

Brought a tear to my eye when my son recounted it!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GGCHET 2/23/2013 10:57AM

    Precious,...Out of the mouths of babes!!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
MARTY728 10/17/2012 11:50AM

    Funny! I enjoyed it. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
CATLADY52 9/28/2012 3:24PM

    That's funny. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
OTEN36 9/27/2012 11:00AM


Report Inappropriate Comment
DANCINGGRAM 9/27/2012 9:23AM

    emoticon As Art Linkletter would say,"Kids say the darnest things"

Report Inappropriate Comment
CATHGREEN8 9/27/2012 8:44AM

    Awwww, sweet baby!

Report Inappropriate Comment
RECMAJOR 9/27/2012 8:07AM

    So precious! And, yes, our little ones grow up way too fast! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MARYJOANNA 9/27/2012 6:44AM

  How cute! They are precious!

Report Inappropriate Comment
NEW-CAZ 9/27/2012 6:11AM

    Hi Sonia
aww bless, how cute!Loved it, thanks for sharing such a golden moment emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment

An unexpectedly bad day - WHY?

Tuesday, September 04, 2012

Iím having a bad day today - foodwise - which I canít really understand. Iíve been doing OK with food and exercise and was thinking yesterday that itís getting easier to be judicious about what I put in my mouth. (See my last blog about having willpower - HUH!!)

I am committed to continuing this effort until I reach my goal and I guess we all hit bumps. Last night I woke up feeling ravenous Ė but also too sleepy to resist the call for food. I was in the kitchen before I knew it and made 2 ricecakes plus low-fat cream cheese with cucumber + Juice. Not bad in itself but I canít remember the last time I had what my partner calls Ďa midnight feastí.

This morning I thought two things: Firstly - where do I enter those extra calories? If I set up an extra meal category ĎMidnight Feastí Iíll be setting a precedent I donít want to establish. So Iíll have to find somewhere. My second thought was: I must put it behind me and get on with a normal day. So Ė smallish but adequate breakfast Ė 1 egg spinach omelette(no fat in the pan - no cheese) and coffee. By mid-morning I was eating toast and marmite (3 slices I blush to admit) Ė and coffees (two). How does this happen when Iíve got so many well-moderated days behind me? STILL I have not established better habits properly. Scary! I know I can balance the calories out for the week but eating less doesn't seem to be an option right now.
Hey ho! Am now going for a walk in the sunshine by the sea Ė a long long walk and hoping to come back in better balance. I already feel better for letting it all out.

emoticon for reading
emoticon Where else could I say all this and know there would be acceptance?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CATLADY52 9/28/2012 3:32PM

    You can enter an extra meal on the nurition tracker and just not include it on days when you don't use it. It's what I have done on my tracking page.

Report Inappropriate Comment
MEDDYPEDDY 9/14/2012 3:36AM

    I enter those things as snack. Yesterday I was in my health-group where there is this woman who has lost many kilos and keeps them off - by stopping eating white flour and sugar. She says that the same day she changed menu her cravings at night disappear - otherwise she would go down to a lat-open store and buy two doughnuts and a chocolate bar. And not having to do that anymore still makes her stick to har menu although she said it had started to become very boring.

She had really tried to exclude triggers from her mealplan - and her triggers were not only te usual - she could not have soft bread (in Sweden we have a broad range of hard bread "crisp" maybe), she could not have cottage cheese she could not have bananas... she had joined FAA and that had helped her initially with the cravings - but then she had to go on and find out for herself what she could eat without beeing tempted. Interesting.

Keep me posted, I think your journey is inspiring!

Report Inappropriate Comment
NEW-CAZ 9/9/2012 5:07AM

    Call it a snack Sonia, and hey one snack does not a habit make- at least it was a healthy one emoticon

I used to snack just before bedtime on naughties and now have a full main dinner that keeps me full. But if I need to munch I keep it healthy, no harm done.
Finding an eating pattern that suits can take time, the important thing is you're not getting garbage and you're moving.

Doing good girlfriend!

Nice to be home and catching up with everyone, have a great Sunday hun emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SUSIEPH1 9/4/2012 8:33PM

    I would just enter it as a snack .. and stop worrying!!, to me that was a good snack

Just eat as healthy as you can, track what you eat, and you will see a pattern emerge .
From this, you can work out when you need to eat to stay within your calorie range ..
Don't forget the calorie range is just a guide, and with the amount of walking you do, it should all be fine ..
Really, it is just a matter of common sense.
Hugs Susie emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment

    Don't worry about it. You are doing gr8. What you ate is not that bad so don't give yourself a hard time.

Report Inappropriate Comment
STONECOT 9/4/2012 9:13AM

    Just enter it as a snack, you don't have to say what time it was! Maybe you need both to listen to your body and to think like a thin person. Thin people eat when they're hungry, just like you did, and it wasn't trifle and ice cream was it? If you're going through a hungry phase then feed yourself. Try eating really slowly when you do eat, give that 'full' trigger in your head a chance to operate. Eat one slice, wait five minutes before eating the next if you're still hungry etc. Enjoy your day, self control is one thing, but moderate it with good sense. emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
PINKANGEL73 9/4/2012 8:47AM

    We are only human and will always have good and bad days. Different things work for different people and we all have to find our own best way forward.

These are a few things that work for me - just in case they work for you too.

1. Never go to bed hungry - sugar dips in the night mean poor sleep and a bad start to the next morning. I find a low fat instant Horlicks drink often does the trick.

2. Always eat a really satisfying breakfast with carbs and protein. If I don't I end up snacking mid morning and seem to feel hungry all day. Often I eat a bigger breakfast (around 400 cals) and need less at lunch.

3. If I want a snack I make it a pear or banana. Both seem to satisfy the pangs more than other fruits.

4. Accept that feeling a bit hungry is okay. But never let yourself get really starving hungry or you end up eating more than you should when the time comes. Better to have a little snack if you need one so you don't devour everything in sight at the next meal.

You may have already discovered those for yourself or others even better - if so please share. Anything that makes this bumpy journey easier is welcome! Keep on keeping on x

Report Inappropriate Comment
MADDE3333 9/4/2012 7:25AM

    Hi! Give yourself a pat on the back, and don't let very small slip ups take you off the path. You are doing great! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment

FINALLY . . . I find I DO have (some) willpower

Saturday, September 01, 2012

Had intended to be blogging every day for a while to keep myself from the slippage I could feel coming on after a pretty good couple of months Ė but things go awry donít they? My partner wanted to take some friends (whom I donít even get on with particularly) down to my little cottage in the country and much as I didnít wish for any of it we all do things we donít want to for our partners donít we? Thatís the nature of being with someone. I actually wanted to scream Ė ĎDonít you realise how much harder itíll be to stick in my calorie range with all that food Iíll have to cook and serve Ė worse, sit at the table looking at it Ė and all that wine flowing that will be so hard to resist?í So Ė Iíve been struggling this week but it could have been worse

There was no time to Spark much Ė apart from tracking Ė but I just thought: ĎOK - Iíll have to be big and brave and get on with it on my own without support from SPfriends.í Actually my food and wine consumption have been better than they might have been. Lesson learned about determination Ė if I REALLY want it to work then itís up to ME Ė and no one else Ė get on with it.

I managed to resist most of those bright signs beckoning me to the cheeseboard and wine bottle in the knowledge that I would then avoid the disappointment that would otherwise await me on the scales later. I exercised when I could make the time and walked a lot Ė tho not as much as Iíd hoped. However Ė good enough - and although I am saying this in a tentative whisper Ė I really think I may have learned some more good Spark lessons Ė FINALLY!

Now I'm home and have a week ahead with no temptations so I can apply myself with renewed vigour. Hereís hoping . . .

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOSTMOM1 9/3/2012 8:21AM

    Oh, good for you!

Report Inappropriate Comment

    emoticon. So glad you managed to cope with it all. And you are doing so well. xx

Report Inappropriate Comment
PINKANGEL73 9/2/2012 10:27AM

    Huge pat on the back from me! These are the real big lessons we have to learn - dealing with everyday life without totally giving in to the many temptations. How to have treats and enjoy ourselves without going completely off the rails. Otherwise we are back to the yo-yo diets of the past - lose some, gain more back in my case.

I'd say that you have just taken a massive leap into a brighter future

Report Inappropriate Comment
TSEWARD 9/2/2012 9:28AM

    You did so wonderful! I too have felt the pressure of cooking and being 'on' for company. It would be so much easier to stick to our food plans if we had no intrusions like company and vast quantities of food! But you kept your goals firmly in mind and acted accordingly. Thank you so much for your encouraging comments! You have really helped me to look at things in a more positive way. It is so easy to get in a negativity rut. Sending you lots of love and warm fuzzies! emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SUSIEPH1 9/1/2012 6:48PM

    Way to go my Friend !! .
I think the Spark is finally lit within you !!
Enjoy being home again and back to normal!
Love you ..Susie emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
CATLADY52 9/1/2012 6:41PM

    I would say you probably will do it without thinking. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment

First Page  1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 Last Page