AKELAZ   70,189
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Creeping back - rather shamefaced

Friday, May 25, 2012

Ive been absent for a lot longer than I intended although I have been logging in and tracking as much as I could not that that saved me from regaining some of my hard lost pounds and I knew that I either had to start again or give up altogether. What I know, however, is that if I dont stay with Spark then Im going to be in real trouble and that my intention to get healthier in my later years is lost road to hell is paved with good intentions, they say, so I need to make my good intentions become a reality.

Ive been messing around on the edges of Spark for nearly two months now taking consolation and inspiration from so many who fall dust themselves off and start again and from various Spark blogs. I knew that eventually something would re-Spark me and yesterday it did.

I read a blog by Michelene Cleary in which she said: -

Getting out of a rut can be hard work. You get tired of fighting to change yourself or the ''thing'' in your life that needs changing, and you just want to lay down in the rut and give up. Accepting "what is" becomes easier than struggling to get to "what could be." The vision or dream becomes lost in the midst of everyday life.

This is totally what happened to me I lost focus because I was very busy with the last stage of renovations to my extra little house in the country and blew it all. However thanks to Micheline and other friends who have been both tolerant and encouraging I am embarking on yet another attempt to lose my excess 50-ish pounds resetting my ticker and ploughing on. For the moment Im concentrating on exercise minutes because Im so bad at being consistent with exercise and in any case the scales are sending me demented so Im focusing on healthy calories both in and out - and letting my clothes tell me how Im getting on.

The weather here is wonderful so Ive walked by the sea this morning and am embarking on some strength exercises shortly. The only things about the walk by the sea is that there is an open air exercise class (should I join?) and lots of marquees being set up for our annual Brighton (UK) food festival.(should I go?) Endless delicious food and Pimms on top of an open bus!! Oh dear a test in itself!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TRENTDREAMER 5/27/2012 11:47AM

    "Creeping back - rather shamefaced"

* There is no shame in being at the bottom of the mountain. Start climbing and climb to the top. 1 step, 1 minute of exercise, 1 serving of (heathy food group) at a time.

This isn't religion. It's life.

Live it

Love it.



Just sayin'

(I did read the whole blog. It's just that I've seen more people die on the vine health-wise by guilt and shame than from the all-you-can-eat-buffet.)

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    emoticon back. Great to see you back in the swing of things again. Yes you should give the outdoor exercise class a go as long as you put sunscreen on. And as Caz says one sample of the food won't cause a big problem. Well done on making the decision to get back on track. I need to do likewise!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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NEW-CAZ 5/25/2012 6:29AM

    Welcome back Sonia,
you're back on track and more determined than ever to take care of you. I think you're right to concentrate your efforts on one thing and we have the perfect weather to get out and about and be active-so you have that on your side....no longer the rain that bought you down emoticon. That sea is tempting you in for a swim.
And as for those food joints....give them a wide berth or allow for something from one of them on your tracker. That way you can feel virtuous emoticon

It's lovely to see you posting again.........and my shed has been emptied...just in case emoticon emoticon

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SUSIEPH1 5/25/2012 6:03AM

    Welcome back Sonia ...
We all fall by the wayside at some time or other so don't worry about it ..
Just get back into the swing of things and reap the rewards .Love and Hugs Susie emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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Great Birthday - no damage done!!!

Thursday, March 08, 2012

Excellent birthday fun yesterday. emoticon

Thanks to all here for their good wishes.

I had loads of cards and really great and unexpected presents, which gave me huge pleasure. Several cookery books among other lovely things how well my friends know me! Am resolved not to overuse them wont help me on the weightloss front! - but once a week with tweaks shouldnt hurt.

Lunch and supper out in different company. Lunch in a pub with partner and friends on the South Downs behind Brighton all locally sourced and freshly cooked. Supper with other friends in a restaurant which has it's own field elsewhere - which is left to its own devices - where the resident expert forages for wild greens and they also cook well sourced beautifully cooked meat and fish. All delish!!

Both these places have calorie-counted menus SO . . . with some considerable restraint on the wine consumption, I managed to scrape in marginally under my calorie allowance emoticon

Extra emoticon emoticon emoticon in view of my partner's card to me!!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    Glad you had such a great birthday and enjoyed your meal out. Great card. emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 3/10/2012 9:22:47 AM

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CATLADY52 3/8/2012 9:28PM

    I love the card! Glad you enjoyed the day. emoticon emoticon

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SUSIEPH1 3/8/2012 6:56PM

    Happy Birthday Sonia !!...
Glad you had a good one!!
Love and Hugs Susie emoticon emoticon emoticon

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IAMANDARAMA 3/8/2012 5:49PM

    Glad you had a lovely day, and many happy returns for yesterday. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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NEW-CAZ 3/8/2012 7:06AM

    Glad you had a great day Sonia, love the card!
Got the soup hun and glad of it, it's chilly if sunny today.
Pistachio now a peanut LOL- but will still get a check done by Anthea next week!

Have an equally great Thursday

Gotta dash, busy busy busy
Laters emoticon emoticon

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'Must be meant'

Tuesday, March 06, 2012

Ive been so very bad lately emoticon
No excuses - 8 pounds up - emoticon emoticon will do that!
I know better I just dont DO better. I intended to be 30 pounds down by this, my birthday week. HUH!!!! I was doing well more or less on track and, as always, I blew it! Need to have a serious talk to myself about self-sabotage.
Yesterday I was about to quit and spend some time re-focusing for a while. Had plans for getting in touch with a number of my good and supportive Sparkfriends before I left so they would know what was what. However a good friend of mine who faded away for a while some time ago re-appeared with a message on my most recent blog and in reading that I also re-read some such kind comments from other friends that I just thought it was mad to leave a site with wonderful people and great facilities both of which are in fact my only hope for a healthier life.

All that was compounded this morning by 500 Spark Goodie Points at log-in and 25 Bonus Points. Yeah- I know - but it's easy to get ridiculously excited about that stuff. 'Must be meant as my Granny used to say. So here I go back in the fold and trying to get on track again.

Any emoticon emoticon emoticonwill be gratefully received in the spirit in which they are meant.

emoticon and thanks to all

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MEDDYPEDDY 3/8/2012 12:29AM

    I share your thoughts, thinking about leaving spark because I never succeed anyway... then I think "what is success?" Success is all the people I met on spark and can share things with, success is getting new ideas and trying new ways to get healthier.

I am glad that you are still around!

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CATLADY52 3/6/2012 7:28PM

    emoticon For every two steps forward you fall back one. The secret? Keep going! Just never give up. emoticon

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FUZZYMOTO 3/6/2012 4:05PM

    Just remember that you are worth the effort. emoticon

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SUSIEPH1 3/6/2012 1:55PM

    Glad you are still with us !!
We all have times like this !!
It is just human nature !
Hope you find your spark really soon !!

Hugs Susie emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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IAMANDARAMA 3/6/2012 12:44PM

    I'm glad you're sticking around and thanks for the goodie. Yes, let's kick it back together. emoticon emoticon

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    Great blog. So glad you're staying. Could you try Zumba. I could do little bits of it. You probably are more mobile than me and it sounds like FUN!!

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NEW-CAZ 3/6/2012 6:49AM

    WTG Sonia, glad someone has motivated you, but I reckon you have some self motivation too or you wouldn't be here!
So you want some butt kicking huh? Okay you asked for it emoticon

I know you can get to your goal weight hun, focus, baby steps, eat well, stay off the grape juice LOL and move that tush!
emoticon emoticon

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Don't worry - be happy

Monday, February 13, 2012

I haven't been practising that much lately!

I seem to have been away from Spark for an age and Im creeping back with some trepidation. Ive got a lot of stuff going on in my personal life and Im not really sure if I can sustain my return because I tend to retreat into myself when life isn't going well, but I miss Spark and my Spark friends a great deal so Im giving it a go.

I know that being here regularly inspires me to treat myself better certainly better than I have been recently. Ive gained back a few of the pounds I lost but they are already disappearing with an effort at less chaotic eating and leaving out the carbs my recourse when I need comfort. I must get back into some serious movement, strength and stretching too I didnt give up completely but its always the hardest thing for me Id love to find some way to enjoy exercising (Wow! Id be a better person in so-o many ways!) but Im still searching for the key to that which so many of you have found. However I know that at my age if I spend too much time motionless on my sofa Ill seize up altogether there have been signs of it and if I can find no other motivation then that is what I remind myself of when Im on the verge of cant be bothered.

What I really want is an answer to the question many Sparkers must ask themselves: Why do I find it all so (almost) impossibly hard? (Self-indulgence someone whispers - Oh that was me whispering actually!)

In the meantime Im taking on board something that two good friends here have said: Dont worry be happy. I am definitely trying for that - and for some positivity - right now.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IAMANDARAMA 3/5/2012 4:52PM

    Well, I think I'm more guilty than you, Sonia, and so I shamefacedly come back, cap in hand, hoping for your support in exchange for mine. I've been absent for so long, I don't feel I deserve any of it emoticon

but having put on so much weight and having almost taken root in denial I sure need it. It's all about looking to the future though, right?

While I've been gone though, I see you've been on a fabulous holiday and the pics show how much progress you've made. You look fabulous! emoticon

Continue to look after yourself Sonia and know that I'd love to hear from you, if you can be bothered with me.

Comment edited on: 3/5/2012 4:53:33 PM

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SPARKLEIIGHGAL 2/25/2012 11:21AM

    Gr8 blog. So good to see you. Don't worry about dipping in and out of spark. I have decided not to worry either. I just can't devote the time to the computer. The general concensus from sparkers is "we will be here when you come back" and that's good enough for me!! I do feel guilty but I try not to.

Try some of the fitness tv programmes - they do workouts to music. They can be fun.Could you do Zumba? There was a Zumbathon in Alexander Palace last year I'm going to post as a blog. It looked terrific. I so wish there had been all of this when I was younger - I might have had more energy and stamina.

Also continue your walks and photos. That's what I hope to do.
emoticon emoticon

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SUSIEPH1 2/13/2012 7:24PM

    Hi Sweets ...
Lovely to see you back!

Just baby steps love !
One day at a time and it will all fall back into place !

Hugs and Love Susie emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CATLADY52 2/13/2012 6:17PM

    You will make it! Changing a lifestyle is not a walk in the park. It is something you really have to work at until it becomes second nature.

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FUZZYMOTO 2/13/2012 3:49PM

    Hey Life happens. Sure we miss you. But as friends we understand and will be here when you need us.

Do what you can, when you can and don't beat yourself up over it. Just keep jumping back on and you will learn how to make riding this pony work.

Be well. emoticon

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NEW-CAZ 2/13/2012 3:48PM

    Sonia it's lovely to see you back posting and I know you have stuff to deal with and you're not a public person who likes to "share" too much, I'm the same like I said. But by coming onto SP I realise I am not alone and have much in common with others struggling and it gets me through.
Hang in there til spring when you CAN get outdoors and enjoy your garden (great cardio and ST workout if you put your back into it) and your place by the sea will call you for walks in the sun and and some swimming.
This time of year can really put a person out of whack too........so baby steps, eat well, move and.............don't worry.....be happy.

Did I ever tell you that song (Don't Worry, Be Happy) was playing shortly after my dad died and it's uncanny that it's played on the radio whenever I am low? I swear he's telling me something from the beyond.

Life is simple, it's just not easy!!!!!

Luv ya, glad you've put your head above the parapet

Laters emoticon emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 2/14/2012 3:00:15 AM

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TRENTDREAMER 2/13/2012 1:39PM

    "but I miss Spark and my Spark friends a great deal so I�m giving it a go. "
* Miss you as well.

"I�d love to find some way to enjoy exercising "
* Either imagine a metaphorical mountain you would enjoy making it to the top of or one you would enjoy climbing.

"I know that at my age if I spend too much time motionless on my sofa I�ll seize up altogether � there have been signs of it and if I can find no other motivation "
* that might get you started. Long term, you'll want to have something to strive for. Not avoid.

"In the meantime I�m taking on board something that two good friends here have said: �Don�t worry � be happy�. I am definitely trying for that - and for some positivity - right now. "
* Overcome.
* Win

It starts with.
* What do you want
* Is it worth fighting for.

Dream big and strive.

You can do it.

Good to see you again :)

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My New Year starts here

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

As it turned out I had a bit of a bad time over the Christmas and New Year holidays. My partner and I both had a dose of flu that neither of us could throw off. Ive come off best although I am tired all the time STILL just seems to go on and on!! For my partner it turned into pneumonia and he has been hospitalized for four days. I fetched him home yesterday and all is well. At least hes back in his own bed now and cheerier for that. Hopefully he will be up tomorrow although hell need some care and attention for a few days - if not longer.

So fraid Sparking has gone by the board. Im creeping back today and hoping to get back into it. Before Christmas I promised myself to join the January Jumpstart Challenge and I still may but Im not up to it just yet. Ive been doing little or no exercise due to all this so am sad because I needed a boost to my efforts here and it would have been ideal however theres no point in starting something that I know, for the moment, I probably wouldnt finish.

I have not eaten badly although hardly at all some days so the scale is not being unkind to me but I have a lot of catching-up to do in terms of cardio and toning.

So my Spark New Year starts here and - belatedly - I wish all you Sparkers a happy and successful 2012 and thank you for your goodies. I'll be popping by your pages very soon to thank you personally for your goodies and messages.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MADDE3333 1/29/2012 5:50PM

    Sonia, hope your and your partner are better. Winter brings a series of colds, viruses and different ailments, and it is sometimes hard to avoid getting sick. I find sleep is one of the best remedies.


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TRENTDREAMER 1/16/2012 11:02AM

    Welcome back and happy new year!

Sorry I missed this last week. Really sorry to hear that you have been sick. I got waylayed with a stomach virus last week.

Hope that you continue to feel better and are able to get some of those walks in, assuming it's not too cold.

I got an Englishwoman to call me "awesome" (Happy Dance!)

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MEDDYPEDDY 1/11/2012 9:46AM

    I have joined - and left - the january jump start team... videos does not work for me, my internet is too slow and I started to feel stressed so fast that I decided to leave because it was not my cup of tea anyway, just the usual wish to belong... glad to have you well again!

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CATLADY52 1/10/2012 3:29PM

    Sad to read about you and yours being sick. Don't rush into anything just yet. We don't want to make things worse! Remember the fluids. emoticon emoticon

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    So sorry to see your news. I do hope Gerry continues to improve and look after yourself. Just take things gradually. emoticon

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APPLEADAY2010 1/10/2012 8:30AM

    Harsh about what happened with the flu and your partner. I am glad he is home now. Sending best wishes. xx

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FUZZYMOTO 1/10/2012 6:13AM

    Nothing wrong with a little down time. It is actually the perfect time of year to to re-assess what your goals are and how you will achieve them. So maybe that is what you body was trying to tell you to do.

No worries on starting the Jump Start Challenge a little late it'll be here. But I have to admit I think Coach Nancy has a bit of a sadistic side, as she is kicking my tookus with these exercises.

Get well soon. We're all pulling for you and cheering for you.

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QUEEN_REINA 1/10/2012 3:43AM

    Glad to hear that hubby is home again. I hope you both have a healthier rest of the year!

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SUSIEPH1 1/10/2012 3:35AM

    Hi Sonia !!.
What a terrible time for you both...
Not a nice start to the year at all ..So glad you are both getting better now Take Care ... Love and Hugs Susie emoticon emoticon

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NEW-CAZ 1/10/2012 3:11AM

Glad you're both on the mend now, take it slow hun you need to recover fully.
Lovely to see you posting again, missed you emoticon

Happy New Year! Make it a good one emoticon

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CEKER9 1/10/2012 2:43AM

    You are starting right on time... Now, the only time!!! Glad to hear you and your partner are on the mend! Happy New Year!

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