AKELAZ   67,046
SparkPoints
60,000-79,999 SparkPoints
 
 
AKELAZ's Recent Blog Entries

Coming out of hiding

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Yup - I've been in hiding from everything and everybody.

Family stuff meant I had already put back some of the pounds I lost here on Spark and then I went away working in Spain where I added yet more pounds during a very stressful trip. I thought at one point I'd never be back here on Spark - if I'm sick of seeing myself complain about my weight gains/life etc why should you not all be the same?
However - I couldn't resist a quick sneak about the site and found some comments and messages that lifted my heart. So - I hopped on the scales and found that with only a modicum of discipline (and a distinct lack of wine drinking!) in the 4 days back in the UK I had lost 3 of the pounds gained in Spain. I don't understand how that works but I'm sure glad it did.
My partner has recovered his health and general cheeriness and my younger son and his family are finally regaining their equilibrium after a tragedy with one of their babies so I feel freer to concentrate on myself and on my own life than I have in a very long time.
In short - life is looking up and I just have to repair the damage that I have allowed to happen whilst attending to other things.
The sun is shining today and I feel very hopeful of better things to come.

emoticon and emoticon to all you wonderful Spark friends

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MANDERSON19 4/28/2011 8:59AM

    You are such a fighter!! I'm so glad to see you again!

Report Inappropriate Comment
MARTY728 4/28/2011 8:30AM

    Happy to see you back and I apologize for not posting sooner. I kept forgetting to. emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
IAMANDARAMA 4/21/2011 9:09AM

    Hope the sunshine is helping you to enjoy life too. Some early morning gardening sounds like a good idea and then there's always the beach, of course.

Happy days
(even without the wine - I have to resist too)

emoticon


Report Inappropriate Comment
TRENTDREAMER 4/20/2011 1:00PM

    "In short - life is looking up and I just have to repair the damage that I have allowed to happen whilst attending to other things.
The sun is shining today and I feel very hopeful of better things to come. "

* emoticon emoticon Glad you're back :)

Report Inappropriate Comment
APPLEADAY2010 4/19/2011 5:26AM

    Glad you came back on here xx SEnding you hugs xx

Report Inappropriate Comment
DOWNTOWNJEN 4/17/2011 6:59PM

    Glad you're back. I had no idea you were going through these rough times as I've been absentee for a bit myself. There are rhythms to life, it seems. As long as the general movement is ultimately forward, we've come out ahead. I doubt you ever stopped moving forward (or you wouldn't be here now). And way to go for losing those "Spain pounds"! LOL. Dang Spain anyway!

Report Inappropriate Comment
MEDDYPEDDY 4/17/2011 11:20AM

    Wonderful to have you back among us again - keep on sparking whatever the scale says!

Report Inappropriate Comment
KERSTIN814 4/17/2011 9:08AM

    I am glad for you, and you lifted my spirits already this morning! I know what you mean about that darn wine. I went way over my limit yesterday, but, today is a new day!

Report Inappropriate Comment
NEW-CAZ 4/17/2011 4:05AM

    emoticon nice to see you back blogging Sonia.
It's time to get back into gear hun and after our "chat" this morning I know you're more than ready to kick butt emoticon
So pleased all is much improved in your life and that your family are in fine fettle once more. Such a stressful time, but you've all come through it and now you can take care of you!
Have fun with your walking today and soaking up some rays, makes one feel so much better.
Take care hun and keep on Sparking emoticon
Laters emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment


Oh dear - AGAIN!

Monday, March 28, 2011

Well – I’ve dragged my partner kicking and screaming into a more confident state of mind. His extreme worry over his angina diagnosis was due to winter blues, as far as I can see, which he suffers from really badly, exaggerating his fears about his condition. The specialist has told him, after considerable testing, that he is not even in need of a stent as yet – so that’s made us both happy.

I have also attended to various family commitments and responsibilities that took up a lot more time and energy than I expected.

I feared I hadn’t been looking after myself properly - Sparkwise that is - I have certainly exercised – cardio and strength - pretty well every day because now I miss it if I don’t do it. Foodwise hasn’t been so good. It’s always been a problem for me to eat right unless I am completely focused on my diet. Now I’ve faced ‘that moment’ – i.e. getting on the scales again - I find that I have gained back seven pounds – not a small amount and I’m ashamed. I would like to have clung more limpet-like than I have to the improved habits Spark had instilled.
However, I don’t intend to waste the effort that has led to this point. A friend blogged about ‘strugglers and motivators’ a while ago - a blog that really went to my heart. I certainly can’t claim to be a motivator but SHE motivated ME to focus on putting a stop to the struggling and yo-yo-ing that have characterised my journey here and to strive for more consistency. I really need to stop letting things get in my way and make getting healthier no-matter-what a priority.
So here I am – yet another fresh start with yet more resolutions. I just hope I make a better job of it this time despite the fact that I am away on and off working for several weeks to come.

emoticon to all my Spark friends and many thanks for your patience and tolerance.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MEDDYPEDDY 4/17/2011 1:50AM

    I hope it is still going better than when you where down... miss you around!

Report Inappropriate Comment
TWOTIMESS 3/29/2011 4:57PM

    Sonia, I echo the other's sentiments, and feel I need to add just a little bit to it - when are you going to start being more selfish and say "No, sorry, you've got to sort out your own problem this time?" and focus on yourself? I know you love your kids, but enough is enough. You do so well, then the family needs you and you drop eveything to help them out, neglecting yourself inn the process. Say NO.

Report Inappropriate Comment
NEW-CAZ 3/28/2011 3:34PM

    Hi Sonia
All that's happened is your priorites shifted for a while and you put others b4 you which is so typical of your good nature emoticon emoticon.

Okay so it's time to refocus and not have a kneejerk reaction and take drastic action. Track, keep active, healthly foods and meals and water and some down time and those 7 pounds will be gone again b4 you know it.

For all that is going on here, remember I am here for you babes.
One step at a time......keep sparking and you'll do it! emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MARTY728 3/28/2011 2:09PM

    Everyone (including those DARN skinny I eat whatever I want people) slip and fall. The key is to get up and get back on course. Sliping and falling and NOT getting back on course is what causes all human beings to gain and keep weight.

You are winning because you have gotten back on course. emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment


Apologies

Wednesday, February 02, 2011

I haven’t blogged for a while and don’t see that changing soon. My partner is having a hard time and I am much pre-occupied with him. He’s been diagnosed with angina – not serious in itself of course – but he’s taken it badly because he’s just not used to being ill in any way and feels his life is changing which I guess it is, though not yet in the big way he fears. All this has coincided with the ‘winter blues’ which affect him very badly. I bought him a daylight lamp a few years ago but as he claims to be too depressed to switch it on (WHAT?!) I have put it on a timer so he’s ‘hit’ by it every day now – presumably too depressed to turn it off again – or so I hope! Anyway – exaggerated though his feelings may be at the moment they are nonetheless valid and I am giving him all of my time in the hopes that all this will pass and he will stop needing me around him so much – time I spend on the laptop - or indeed the phone - just really upsets him. Have to add that this is not the person that I know him to be so I’m doing all I can to help him out of this.
This blog is just to say a quick ‘hallo’ to everyone and a general thank you for comments on my page and for goodies – they are much appreciated but I have little time in my quick sallies round the site to acknowledge them individually.
Guess I don’t have to add that my weight-loss has stalled as it always does when I’m not paying myself as much attention as I need to. Plainly I need better and more entrenched habits – something that I still need to work on. This will all change soon – at least I very much hope so. In the meantime – forgive me until I’m back?

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MARTY728 2/9/2011 1:18PM

    I hope your partner gets better as the winter comes to an end. Your partner is lucky to have a partner like you.

Whenever I am depressed, unmotivated on just plain blue, I always repeat 3 lines from a song by Chumbawamba, "I Get Knocked Down (Tubthumping)":

"I get knocked down
But I get up again
You're never going to keep me down"

Sometimes I have to repeat the lines a number of times, however, eventually they sink in and I move on.

In fact, to me the song has always reminded me of a British drinking song, so there is another tie-in.

I believe that the British have the BEST drinking and soccer songs!

emoticon emoticon emoticon,
Marty

Comment edited on: 2/9/2011 1:20:03 PM

Report Inappropriate Comment
NEW-CAZ 2/5/2011 4:21AM

    Hi Sonia
I am really sorry to Gerry is going through it right now and how this is impacting on you. A stressful time I understand.
You're being supportive of him as always and doing what you can but remember you have to take care of you too. You are important hun.

Totally understand you MIA and don't worry your friends on here will be thinking of you and sending positive vibes.
You know where I am if you need to vent/talk emoticon emoticon emoticon

emoticon for Gerry

Report Inappropriate Comment
TRENTDREAMER 2/3/2011 6:47PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

* Really sorry to hear. Will miss you much.

Hang in as best you can.

Report Inappropriate Comment
KERSTIN814 2/2/2011 12:19PM

    You are doing the right thing. Angina is serious in that it signals blockages in his coronary arteries, and the pain is usually brought on by activity, when the heart has to work harder. There is some evidence that you can reverse these blockages with a very strict diet, though I am not sure. Send him lots of spark love. There may be a spark team you can join too. I joined a team of people who take care of parents with dementia, Children Caregivers. Good Luck! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
DRAGONFLYBETH 2/2/2011 11:35AM

    Take care of him and yourself. We'll be here when you return!

emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
APPLEADAY2010 2/2/2011 8:30AM

    SEnding lots of hugs, take care my spark freind. I will be thinking of you xx emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
TWOTIMESS 2/2/2011 5:54AM

    emoticon
You go do what you have to do - we'll be here, as always! Don't neglect yourself!

Report Inappropriate Comment


Re-vamping

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

I didn’t feel great yesterday – a migraine - I don’t get them nearly as badly as some but it interfered with a hard-won resolution to exercise not only MORE but more thoroughly – to put more effort into my activities. I was discouraged, cross and miserable on the principle of ‘even when I WANT to try’ something gets in the way of my plan. Boo-hoo! Poor me!
Well of course it does! That’s life and not exclusive to me. I’m so busy trying to make this thing work that I’ve become too self-focused and selfish. Moaning and feeling sorry for myself is just not helpful to me and tedious for others. In the face of the really serious things that can happen to people, a mild migraine is nothing. So many people here on Spark pick themselves up after setbacks and indeed tragedies and limp on until they are strong enough to move forward with their lives in an effective way. Sparkers – you have taught me a lesson. You are all amazing. I need a serious attitude re-vamp – am working on it from today.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AMBERZADE 1/26/2011 10:18AM

    Migraines can be debilitating! We all have different challenges but experience them as challenges just teh same. Don't get down on yourself.

You're such a sweet person with such a sweet personality. I always appreciate the encouragement you give me in my blog.

Don't worry! It will all work out and maybe you just needed a day of rest! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MEDDYPEDDY 1/25/2011 8:08AM

    Hey - please DO whine a while, I have had enough of all that "get a haircut and a job"... but after a good whine comes a moment when you feel like "Ok, and now what?" Then the fun begins. To me, before I can let optimism and lust take over again I have to be sure to let myself dwell on the pitypot long enough. Otherwise there will be a part of me that feels neglected and sad because it is not allowed to exist. Sadness, selfpity and passivity is part of my personality I need it as well as I need the strength, hope and courage!

Report Inappropriate Comment
BUSSMOM 1/19/2011 1:05PM

  I know how a headache.....even a "small" one can make your world come to a screeching halt. Migraines are the pits to say the least. But today is another day and you can pick it back up and move forward....good for you!

Report Inappropriate Comment
SHELIS10 1/19/2011 10:38AM

    I think what is making us successful this time around, compared to other times that we might have tried and failed to be healthy, is that now we know that bad days, migraines, fights with the boss, head colds and the like are just temporary.

We are learning that you can start over and over and over again and it is okay!

Report Inappropriate Comment
APPLEADAY2010 1/19/2011 6:33AM

    I loved this blog - I will try and remember this when I am having a whine. I had a bad tummy last week and have been awol ever since lol. Am back now though and I need to catch up. I see you have lost another 3 pounds! That just shows how great you have been working - really proud of you! Sending big hugs and hope you have fab day because you deserve it. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
TWOTIMESS 1/19/2011 5:12AM

    emoticon emoticon
A crazy smile a day keeps the bleh's at bay!

Report Inappropriate Comment
NEW-CAZ 1/19/2011 4:19AM

    Life can get in the way Sonia but I think you just had the blues yesterday with your migraine and the frustration of that has got you focusing on the negative.
You are doing well hun! And it's not selfish to want good health- if you don't look after you who will?
You're more positive today emoticon

emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment


A better attitude and 3 more pounds gone

Saturday, January 15, 2011

A loss of 3 pounds has made me very happy – over the commitment of ˝ pound per week that I made to the Slowest Loser Team which taught me a very valuable lesson about the merits of slow weightloss - thus avoiding my usual burn-out. This has to slow down soon so I’m not worrying either way.

Following the South Beach plan just gets easier and easier – dunno what’s happened – it’s not like me at all! Still NO cravings for big squashy sandwiches and never hungry. I love the basic plan of vegetables, chicken and fish and the suggested beans are easy to add to any meal. Lettuce rollups are my new best friends. They make a really good light substitute for a sandwich. Great – cos if I don’t eat bread I am general less inclined to overeat and I feel more energetic and less bloated - but rollups mean I can still have the sandwich fillings, which are satisfying and tasty, rolled in lettuce leaves for a snack. So - no hardship to follow the rules when there are good results to show for doing so. Guess I should add that for me the only real hardship is that I haven’t had a glass of wine for two weeks. WHAT!!?? Friends at home who know me well just laugh when I say that but actually it’s worth the sacrifice – particular as it’s not forever. Finally I may have found the answer to my lifelong weight problems – I really do hope so. NO – scrub that! I HAVE found the answer to my lifelong diet problems – positivity rules right?

At the same time there’s the Bootcamp Challenge and that’s getting easier too especially with greater energy. I didn’t find it all that easy when I started, but although I had a bit of a hiccup this week and had to do two videos on Friday to make up for missing the one on Thursday it went OK. I didn’t wake up this week with a sinking feeling - knowing there was a video waiting for me that I had committed to and not wanting to let myself down. Made me feel good.

So – progress made in the most important area – ATTITUDE
emoticon emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MEDDYPEDDY 1/25/2011 8:13AM

    Wow, you almost scare me with all that success! I am very happy for you and hope it continues until you have reached your goal.

Report Inappropriate Comment
DOWNTOWNJEN 1/15/2011 3:51PM

    Good for you!!! You know I've also noticed that when I eat fewer carbs I have less cravings. Weird, huh.

Report Inappropriate Comment
NEEBREW 1/15/2011 9:18AM

    I am SOOOO happy for you! South Beach SAVED me, literally. I felt like such a failure before, not realizing that WHAT I was eating was triggering compulsive overeating and causing my weight loss efforts to fail. When I found South Beach, I found empowerment and a new way to live. Last year was the best year of my life thanks to South Beach!

Being a HUGE fan of red wine, I found that as long as my calories were in check, I didn't gain weight when I added it back in. Don't have any worries about that!

Renee :)



Report Inappropriate Comment
AUNTB63 1/15/2011 8:26AM

    emoticon a three pound loss, a great attitude, moving forward.
What else could a person ask for? Have a great weekend and keep up the great work.

Report Inappropriate Comment
ROSEWCI 1/15/2011 8:10AM

    emoticon on being down 3 lbs!
LOVE the concept of lettuce rollups! emoticon
emoticon for the positive attitude!
emoticon for Bootcamp Challenge!

Keep up the great work! emoticon Rose

Report Inappropriate Comment
SHELIS10 1/15/2011 7:33AM

    Good job! Personally, I feel like south beach is a miracle, I'm so glad you're enjoying it too.



Report Inappropriate Comment
IMEMINE1 1/15/2011 7:29AM

    emoticon and emoticon emoticon on the attitude and weight loss.

Report Inappropriate Comment
CHARANN3 1/15/2011 6:20AM

  emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
TWOTIMESS 1/15/2011 6:14AM

    emoticon emoticon
This sounds great, Sonia. It's so nice finding your own drumbeat and marching to it!

Report Inappropriate Comment
CAM2438 1/15/2011 6:04AM

    emoticonWay to go! Keep up the good work. Remember "slow an steady wins the race!"

Report Inappropriate Comment
NEW-CAZ 1/15/2011 4:47AM

    emoticon on 3 pounds gone Sonia, you're doing so well and sound so much happier, I am truly happy for you emoticon

And no booze! emoticon emoticon emoticon

Keep it up hun, proud of you emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment


First Page  1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 Last Page