Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Have been away from home – and this site – on and off all summer. There were things I just had to do and in the way that life has – they just kept piling up. Of course I could have said ‘no’ to some of them – ‘NO’ that little word that I sometimes find immeasurably and ridiculously difficult to utter.
Last week when I decorated my son’s family house was truly the last straw. They live far enough away for me to have to stay over and as they were on holiday with their little children it seemed an ideal time to get the work done without my delish but rampaging grandsons. I was already fairly worn out from the work required to get a kitchen installed over the summer in my other house but they really need some help so I went straight to them, already pretty well worn out and feeling disconnected from my own main home and from my partner and friends whom I hadn’t really spent time with all summer.
Anyhow, I got there and found a lot more work than I had thought. I was also a lot more tired than I thought. On top of that, halfway through, I developed a stomach bug – the sort that really stops you in your tracks and lost a day of working. Also my son’s wi-fi router wasn’t working so I was disconnected from Spark too. I know it is perfectly possible to track on paper but I was so-o busy and felt I had no time – indeed all I did was work – eat – sleep. Definitely no tracking time. No exchanges with good Spark friends. So now I feel disconnected with Spark itself. Never thought that would happen – I’ve enjoyed being connected with Spark so much.
Basically I have crashed and burned. I am not only tired but discouraged. Pounds that I have allowed to sneak back don’t help. I awoke this morning thinking it would be better to leave the site - I haven't contributed anything here for ages and am not losing weight. It would be easy not to re-connect with you all – but then I thought how much I would miss you - and what would I do without you?? I haven’t done terribly well on the weightloss front but am making very slow progress with both food and exercise. I just KNOW that it would be the end of all my efforts if I didn’t log on each day and find all that great information and all that great encouragement and support and good friends – and the trackers of course.
SO – this week I am taking responsibility and trying to stick with it - trying to stay within my calorie limits, exercising, even when I just want to lounge about, and tracking it all. Back where I should be in fact. Hoping to make contact with those Spark friends I have neglected - to encourage those who are also ‘down’ – to rejoice with those making progress – to share a joke. All the things that make Spark what it is.
Re-establishing one of my original streaks is another aim – I am certainly tired so am spending far more time sleeping than I want to, though I’m OK about that for the moment, but an original streak was to get out of bed and DO something rather than just transferring myself to the couch. Definitely have to start that streak again (but at least I know now what’s needed) – in fact having to start everything again – but thanks to Spark I know that I can and I WILL. This is the moment to re-connect and give myself some me-time.