Thursday, October 31, 2013
Well happy birthday to my puppy! Actually, I'm not sure what day is is actual birthday as he is a rescue dog. We chose Halloween because it seems to coincide with his "monster" personality. But as anyone knows who reads my blogs I love him to death! He's a great dog and a great companion. He is very high energy, very playful and still all puppy, and I hear that I only have about five more years until he 'begins" to calm down. That being said, I have him to thank for my weight loss over this past year. if I wasn't forced to take him out to walk and run off some of his energy every day I would have found multiple excuses as to why I "didn't have time" to get out to exercise. Every day I come home from work, change my clothes and put on my sneakers and he is by the door waiting more than ready to go for out three mile walk and on weekends it's usually longer. Strangely enough, that has been the biggest contributor to my fitness and now it has become second nature. Every day I look forward to my walks that are usually through the woods or on a nature trail with my best friend, my motivator, my exercise companion and my reason for success!! Happy Birthday Gibby!! You're the best!
PS That's my daughter in the photo... she loves him too!
Wednesday, October 09, 2013
I think I'm in maintenance only I don't know it yet. I've been gaining an losing the same 2-3 pounds since the summer. In reality I am still 2-3 pounds (the same 2-3 pounds) away from my original goal. Now therein lies the problem. Should I still be pushing myself to lose those last three pounds or should I just recognize this as my goal weight and be happy with that. I have knee pain, but unfortunately that is due to osteoarthritis and I don't believe losing more weight will help relieve the pain. I don't have any other health issues so losing more weight will not improve my overall state of wellness. Generally I feel good. I am happy with the way I look in my clothes, I "feel" good about myself, I am able to eat a wide variety of foods, mostly good choices with a few not so healthy choices thrown in there, but they are things that I find comfort in. I get a good amount of daily exercise (on weekends I am usually able to walk longer due to time constraints during the week), I'm sleeping well, my last PE with my doctor showed good lab results so...... why are those last three pounds nagging at me in the back of my mind that I still have to lose three pounds? I keep telling myself it's just a number!! If I didn't have a scale I would feel as though my weight is where it's suppose to be. And these are the types of comments or words of advice I would give to other Sparkfriends when they say they are not happy with their weight. In trying to accept the "number" I've considered not getting on the scale, but that has proven to be my mentor so to say. If the scales starts to creep upwards past what I would consider for myself to be "the danger" zone I know I have to reel myself in, readjust, get back to exercise if I have been being a little to lax and refocus on my eating. I have make a very stern vow to myself that I WILL NOT go back to where I have been so many times before. In January I will be celebrating a one year Spark - a - versary and I do so want it to be a celebration. I want it to be a celebration for a lifetime. Yet I still can feel the fear of failure, of not being that person I want to be, the fear of being in maintenance and not being ready for it. This is the grey area where I have been before.... I'm off the high of losing weight, people don't comment anymore that "Oh you've lost weight; you look great" because now this is my new norm. I can't try on my clothes anymore an revel in the fact that they are too big because now I am wearing mostly clothes that fit. Sometimes I think that's part of the problem. I'm not used to wearing clothes that fit so they actually feel small because they're not baggy so my mind is playing tricks on my saying these are too small you need to lose more weight! They high is gone so I've lost the drive to push, to drink all the water, to track, count calories and I feel like I am setting myself up for failure AGAIN!! I need to find the happy medium, I need to be happy with what I have achieved and MAINTAIN. I need to be able to accept the success I have achieved and be satisfied with that. I am still a work in progress; therefore I am grateful that I have this website and Spark friends who I can turn to for advice, words to the wise, encouragement, support and hope. I so admire all those who struggle and keep pushing and I find strength and comfort in those who have achieved success and still stay on this site to continue to maintain and support others. Thank you Sparks and Spark Friends!! Let's all continue to be present everyday to help, support, encourage, advise, listen, cheer, laugh, cry and do all that we can to be the best we can to ourselves and to eachother.
Wednesday, September 18, 2013
So glad I am here to tell you this today.... I have been exploring new walking trails. Recently I found a great place to hike in a local state park. The problem being: I don't know my way around it very well yet and the trails are not really trails. Its more like a maze of rocks, tree roots, fallen trees and and brooks and streams that you have to wade across without getting wet. I have to closely follow the blazes on the trees so as to not get lost. Well you knew this was coming... yesterday I completely lost the blazes on the trees on the trail I "thought" I was following. I can proudly say, I didn't panic, although I was beginning to wonder if my dog would huddle with me through the night to keep warm if I couldn't find my way out. ha ha!! It was like one of those suspense movies when you just turn in circles and everything looks the same and you have no idea which way to go because there is just forest all around you and there are no people in sight. My dog of course, didn't seem to notice. He was having a blast just running through all the brush. I knew fully well that I had several hours of daylight left to find my way out, so I just backtracked to where I though I went wrong and "Wallah"!! there were the blazes again! .......As I tried to convince myself that I wasn't scared (even a little bit). Lesson learned.... I think I will start to carry a compass, and I definitely will make sure I have plenty of daylight to hike until I know the place much better. That being said, I am going for a walk at my old standby today.... not quite ready for a new adventure today!!
Tuesday, September 17, 2013
I'm not sure why, but I've been feeling the need to blog. Not that I have anything to say, but I guess there doesn't always have to be a reason to blog. I just feel as though I haven't been in touch with a lot of people since the beginning of the summer and here it is almost fall... where does the time go? But I've come over a lot of speedbumps since then, came out fairly unscathed and now life is good. My daughter is settling into college again and apartment life is going well. Thank you to all those who discouraged her from living in the Mission Hill section of Boston. She is settled into a very nice house in a family neighborhood in Brookline. Breaking news this morning said 15 students were injured in Mission Hill when their second floor porch collapsed. Some of those were MassArt students. Fortunately nobody was critically injured. My son jumped out of an airplane and lived to tell about it. Fortunately for me and his Dad, he didn't tell us until his feet were once again firmly planted on the ground. Although now it leaves me to worry.... what next!! . I am back to school in my job as a school nurse and it feel like I never left!! I work in a school that has Pre-K 3's through grade 8 and I love what I do. I am back to walking almost every day with my dog Gibby. He has not had anymore scary allergy issues. I am loving the fall weather we are having.... temps in the 60's, clear, crisp air with the smell of burning wood and pumpkin everything!! Yum! I am getting back on track with my plan. I have lost the few pounds I gained over the summer, which surprisingly wasn't much. I think I have finally learned how to eat well and enjoy it!!
All that being said, I just want to say that I could never have had all of this happen without Spark and my Spark friends. You have all been here with me every step of the way. From my blogs about not seeing any progress on the scales to my whining about my daughter not having any on campus housing, to my worries about my welt covered itching dog, to just feeling overwhelmed and discouraged you have always been there for me. With kind words of encouragement, advice, support, links to helpful information, virtual hugs and smiles, you never gave up on me and never let me give up on myself. Even during the summer when I wasn't on Spark that much, I always "felt" the presence of my friends, could hear your voices in my head when I was tempted to stray or give up and always felt the power and strength of being a Spark person that made me believe that I am worth it and that I could do this. I still have days, and I think I always will have days when I think...... this is hard.... how will I be able to keep doing this.... how will I ever be able to maintain...... but then I remember it's because I am not doing this alone. I have so many resources, so much advice, so much support, so much motivation from other members and friends. The road is long, but the rewards are so great! I'm successful because I am just living!! I am eating well, I'm exercising, I'm still enjoying some foods that some would consider taboo, but here are Spark nothing is forbidden and that's where I find my success! So thank you all for everything you have ever said, given, supplied, shared , advised, forgave, encouraged , supported..... the list goes on. I am grateful to each and everyone of you and because of that I will continue to try each and every day to be the best possible person that I can be . I look forward to continuing to share our journeys , our stories, our ups and downs, our successes and failures, our challenges and rewards. I wish happiness and success for all of us. So keep Sparking, believe in yourself and never, never give up!!
Friday, July 26, 2013
Well isn't that what they say... it isn't over until the fat lady sings? I really need the "reign of terror" of what ever keeps "attacking" my dog to be over! He is my absolute best walking partner and I think those days are over... at least until we have a hard frost and everything in the woods is dead. We went to one of our favorite walking spots today (which was different from the last one) and had a great time. He ran, he swam.... everything was great until we were riding home and he started to "shake" himself off (like dogs do when they are wet) only he wasn't wet. He just kept doing that repetitively until I realized OMG!!!...... here we go again! He was covered in welts worse than the last time, except this time his face didn't swell. He was so pink around his eyes, ears and mouth that it was almost flourescent! Long story short I went right to the vet, they gave him Epi, Benadryl and steroids, but this time when they gave him the Epi he almost went into anaphylaxis. Unfortunately, being that it's Friday, the regular vet was closing so we had to transfer him to the emergency vet because they didn't want to send him home. They were going to keep him overnight, but I decided to take him home, give him two more doses of Benadryl tonight and watch him. Right now the patient is resting very quietly, sound asleep in one of his favorite chairs. I think he will be fine tonight, but I am definitely not taking him in the woods again. I think for the rest of the summer we will stick to swimming at the lake. I'm exhausted too.... once that adrenaline stops flowing it really knocks you on your a**! Dog is sleeping.... I'm drinking wine!
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