Thursday, March 04, 2010
Although I enjoy that I have these kinds of problems, my next challenge is getting 8 hours of sleep per night. Which I assume is supposed to be continuous. Right now is around my peak thinking time (10pm-ish) as I am a night person by nature. I have so much energy now during the day that I am just brimming with ideas and things that I want to look into. Great, that's fine, but it generally takes a little longer than the paltry amount of time that I have between getting home from work and trying to go to bed.
Also, despite being a night owl, I prefer for several reasons to work out in the morning. In order to make it to work on time, I'm at the gym before 6am. You see where this is going. This is what they mean by burning the candle at both ends. Although I try to get in bed earlier, I am usually not really sleepy until later. Or, if I get to sleep when I'm planning to, I still wake up earlier than I anticipate, usually even before the alarm.
Ah, I'm just complaining. I've read some of the articles about relaxation and going to bed at the same time every night even on the weekends, I'm just having trouble implementing this part of the process. It's not even that I'm stressed, I have great energy! Now only to get it on a regular schedule...
Wednesday, March 03, 2010
Yesterday morning I had a brief but horrifying experience at the gym that made me question my weight loss goal. I had just come from the elliptical machine and bounded over to the free weight area when I caught a glimpse of myself in the wall mirror. Wearing only a tank-shaped workout top, my chest looked like Skeletor on holiday. I mean, chicken chest + my new muscular shoulders and biceps = maybe I should stop losing weight.
This was the first time I looked sick to myself! With only 14lbs to go, yes, there are some areas of my body that I am liking more than others. I fully acknowledge that during this process I got a little chicken-chested while waiting for my thighs to slim out, which I accepted. But I never wanted to be waif-y or sickly looking! I put my hoodie back on to cover my skeleton frame, performed my upper body work while watching my shocked face in the mirror and considered the issue on the walk home.
As soon as I got there, I ripped off my clothes and examined myself again in my full length mirrors, trying to gather more information in order to make this decision. I looked normal to myself - a little chicken chested, but not the skeleton figure I saw in the gym.
I wonder though, and I'm sure I will soon see, what is too thin for me? I don't want to hold myself to my goal and end up looking like some poor hungry child in a third world country. I'm serious!
So as of this writing, I will keep on keeping on pound by pound until I reach my goal, monitoring myself carefully for all signs of sickly-lookingness (and increased chicken chestedness). I'm sure it will even itself out, but I just don't want to be thinking that I look great and later determine that I looked like a hat rack.
There, but tweaking the details...
Thursday, February 25, 2010
I have started reading The Spark and already I am ridiculously motivated to make more changes in my life. The book itself is actually interactive, which I have always loved in my reading fancies. I just got a crazy amount of points just for recognizing the fact that I got the book! It reminds me of those young adult readers that would have multiple endings based on the reader's choice of what should happen. I absolutely loved those and The Spark bring me back to that time (although I'm only in the second chapter). Another great book in this vein The Law of Love by Laura Esquivel (it comes with a CD that you pop in at certain times while perusing illustrations in the book!). But I digress.
All day yesterday I was thinking about what I get excited about. I could not think of one thing. I thought about a bunch of things that I like, but not one thing that I'm passionate about. This has been a recurring theme in the past few months; I don't feel passionate about anything. I'm just floating on through, not complaining but not focused because I cannot get my mind around what I want to do. Instead of being discouraged yesterday though, I knew it was just a matter of time. In fact, I've always known it was just a matter of time before I figured it out, but I'm impatient, what can I say?
I just love when a good plan comes together. Even if you're not the one that planned it exactly. I still have not quite put my finger on that focus. But I am one step closer and the book fell in my focus at the opportune moment. I have been planning to buy the book since the teasers were released. What made me download it to my Kindle this week? What made me start tracking again this week (although I had been doing marginally well without it?)? What indeed. All these things have a way of working themselves out when the time is right.
My thing is continual motivation. As I type right now, I'm excited and I have about 3 different things that I want to look into. But I have to do some work and perhaps put my research aside for now to get it done. I want to sustain this energy throughout the day so that when I can pick this back up, the same excitement about the possibilities is still pumping through my veins. I have no answer. I'm going to use the site as much as I can and read the book for this continual fire and who knows? I just might change my life.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
My next long term action steps is to blog about whether emotional eating is a problem for me. Of course it is. I've been doing a good job to avoid it these last couple of weeks, but that's not to say that it won't crop up later on because the urge is still there. And later, my resolve may not be so strong.
One reason that I know this happens in my life is a reaction to stress. When I have had a stressful day at work, which these days is typical, I like the idea of having a "really good" dinner. That means savory, satisfying and probably enough to choke a horse. I like feeling full and I know that the full feeling often leads directly to sleep. I enjoy the whole process though--skipping straight to the sleep (sleeping off the problems of the day) will not make me feel as satisfied. Namely because I will get up hours later, starving, and eat anything that will start that "satisfied" process.
So basically my emotional eating comes from a sense of rewarding myself for overcoming challenging obsticles. Or I eat in reaction to tough times. I've been trying to combat this behavior by rewarding myself with other things. Like when I have overcome something, like a hard day, I read my books or search the internet for interesting facts while I drink water. I'll eat after that if I'm still that hungry. I also reward myself with music--I've become quite the little MP3 fiend. The tunes are also ones that I can jam to in the gym.
That's all I've got so far. Hopefully I'll think of new ideas to get me out of this cycle.
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