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Peanut butter and bananas

Monday, January 26, 2009

I discovered a new sweetness that hits tha spot baby!! Peanut/Banana Sandwich. Its soooo good to meee mmm mmm mm. It actually replaces my craving for gummi bears.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HALEYFITZ 1/27/2009 11:43AM

    Everyone loves this but for some reason it is not my cup of tea. But it is a lot better for you then gummi bears, try organic butter where it is just the peanuts mashed up and nothing more added, MMM full of flavor!

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KRISHAL 1/26/2009 7:24PM

    Peanut butter and banana is one of my favorites too.

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ok so I weighed in

Friday, January 23, 2009

I lose 3 pounds since last weigh in. I worked so hard and it aint easy at all trust me but I did it.

Prayer
Thank you god for giving me the strength to think healthy and workout. I know it was all you. Amen

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HALEYFITZ 1/24/2009 12:19PM

    That's great! It is definately a lot more work taking it off then putting it on but all these little numbers will add up and you will reach your goal!! I love just losing weight in general it is like the best high I have ever gotten and to be able to watch your body change and gain more confidence it is great! Keep it up!

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HOTTOPICFITNESS 1/24/2009 12:56AM

    Great job. I am jelous girl, lol... :) You look great by the way.

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MONKABOPB1 1/23/2009 6:03PM

    Great job with your weight loss keep it up :)

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My weight consumes my everyday life

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

I had all the self esteem 10 beyonce's have when I lost that 30 pounds and I felt I could look cute or fit anything cute and I felt empowered and happy and I was so confident with men and I was a lil more happier in my own skin. Why does my weight consume me? Well I will tell you why, when I look in the mirror I see 4 big lumpy rolls in the front and my back is horrible, there is this one big glob of fat on both sides of my back. i have seen 400 pound people with a back like mine. I have a watery peice of fat under my arm pit that grows when I gain weight so when I wear dresses that peice of watery fat hangs over the sleevless dress or shirt so I have to pull my bra up way high to keep it covered every 5 minutes. I wear girdles with every thing even to go to sleep when I am visiting my boyfriend. I met him when I lost that 30 pounds and he meet me while I was dancing and not having a care in the world and I was so confident when he first met me but since I gained this weight back my self esteem is so low. I was actually forming a shape when I was losing weight in 2007 so I felt like a women. I just finished complaining to him about 5 minutes ago about my weight which is somethign a woman should NEVER do with a man and because he is so strong and knows what its like to not be happy with weight he understands but he is tired of me acting like this and I want him to leave me alone and let me be so I can work on my self esteem because I cant trully like or love him like I want to but he won't leave. My weight consumes me and I dont know how to trully love me because of how ugly my body is, I dont have a normal body. Its terribly out of shape and just ugly ugly. I am a beautiful girl pretty face great teeth nice hair clear skin have all my toe and fingers and all my limbs but my fatness is just bad and I don't know why. Eveything I say and do is a example of how I feel about the way my body looks. Weird I KNOW! I I can't help it. Everyday of this year and last year I have had my mind on my weight and losing it. Every monthly cycle i have I get more depressed because i gained weight and my hormones get all out of wack which makes me worry about my weight more and more and more and my self esteem is as low as sea level. Right now I am on my cycle so now you see? Well I sure hate that losing weight will help my mood but its true. Sometimes (rarely I think this but I do) I don't want to lose weight just so I can learn to be happy with me now but I just don't see that happening. but it just dawned on me, I was once 170 in high school and still didn't like me or my weight, I was in the 5th grade hating the way i looked. I wonder where is this all steming from. Why do I hate my weight so much? I think its because My mom was kinda harsh when it came to my weight, she gave me ugly looks but now I have eaten so much I give my self ugly looks. I hardly talk to my mom if at all but I still love her but she can just be a u know what sometimes.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HALEYFITZ 1/21/2009 7:04PM

    Alright personally I know where you are coming from...First of all I get so emotional and depressed and start thinking this way during or around my cycle all the time!! I truely have a confidence problem and i feel that after losing this unwanted fat that is just hidin my beauty I would be fine. I know it will help with the confidence level but I am always going to have the same problem when I have my cycle. I am sure you feel like this more then just then though because I sure do IF I am putting a lot of thought into it and obsessing about it.

You girl are lucky though you have the beautiful face, teeth, hair, skin everything so you are spending all of your time thinking about what if I lost all this weight and how good would I look again if I didn't have all this fat! Well girl stop crying over it and sweat it away, if you see something that you want to eat and no you shouldn't that is when you think about it and don't touch it! You are the only one that can get rid of that fat that you hate so much so just continue doing what you are doing or maybe change your program a bit so you start thinking healthier as well.

I am sure I have told you this a million times but start looking in the mirror and look at the positive and the stuff you love. Maybe look at that fat but exam it and notice how small that pouch is getting or how toned your arms are. If you are not eating right and exercising you won;t see changes so just continue doing it and you will be that girl you miss so much.

Also I complain all the time about my weight with my boyfriend and I know he doesn't like it s don't say anything to him unless you are excited about losing a couple pounds or talk about how excited you are to be able to reach your goal and get in that swimsuit and how he is going to be so lucky. He doesn't want to hear that crap about your weight trust me, he may be supportive but you need to think positive and show how positive you are that in itself is hott!!

Come on girl, pick yourself up and lets get to those goals that we are working so hard to reach!! I am right here to snap you out of it when you are thinking this way, I can relate but we need to stop it!!!!! We need to think more and more about that swimsuit, dancing at the club and turning heads!! Now is not the time to take a break!!!

It is time to step up our game and we are going to have to do it together and push each other through that finish line. You are lucky you have a flaw you CAN change so shut up and do it!! (lol, not trying to be a bitch but if it works it works!!)

YOU CAN DO IT!!! emoticon

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Im working overtime but

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

I'm not going to let it get in between my healthy lifestlye anymore. I'm going to the gym tonight. I will just feel so much better about me inside and out.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HALEYFITZ 1/20/2009 10:43PM

    You definately will feel great after you get in that workout. It is horrible getting there and forcing yourself to workout but once you do you feel great and glad you got up and did it! I know you are going to reach your goals, you are doing so great and your will power is working double time at getting you to do the right thing!

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Prayer works but I have to keep doing it

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

because when its comes to all these temptations around me called "fast food" I get sooo tempted every hour of every day but this a new week and hoepfully I will lose a few pounds but in order to do so i have to hit that gym. I DO NOT feel like it so this week I am forcing myself.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HALEYFITZ 1/20/2009 12:27PM

    I hate when I don't feel like working out, once I get there and star working out I don't stop and feel so good but until then, I try to think of things I can do rather then working out! Not good, I need to change my mindset and become that active and healthy person i am trying to be!

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