Saturday, February 04, 2012
I have a couple sets of talking scales around the house. The first one I got was the Wii Fit Plus, which never fails to inform me "That's Obese!" when I step on it. The new ones however just say my weight without any further insult.
The new scales have had me thinking though. Many of us have scales that talk...we just don't know it. Many of us allow that number on the scale to tell us our self worth or even our mood for that day. One of the things I learned very early on in this journey is that that number is only that-a number. It doesn't tell me who I am. It is only a measure of my progress.
A friend of mine sent me a picture that I want to share...
Remember this...and that alone is a success.
Friday, January 27, 2012
Do you ever feel like every time you get back on track and start making progress that something comes along and knocks you off course? And in those moments, there is that little voice that comes and whispers in your ear, "Just take it easy...don't be so strict on yourself...you have enough going on...you don't need to be worrying about what you eat too..." That's the voice of failure. It is strong and persistent and will try to bring you down in your weakest moments.
That voice came to me the week before last as I sat in the emergency room liatening to the doctor tell me that I had dislocated my SI joint and that my workout routine would be sidelined for quite some time. See, that Monday was my first day back to working out since having the baby. I did three miles with Leslie Sandsone and was feeling really good about it. I wasn't able to work out during my pregnancy due to some joint problems-such as they wouldn't stay in place, so I felt pretty good about making it through without having to stop and quite honestly without feeling too awfully tired. The next day I'd had a really long day and was extremely tired but I had still made the commitment to myself and did 20 minutes on the Wii Fit Plus. By Wednesday I was having some mild back pain and decided I might have overdone it a bit so I took that day off to rest. Thursday morning I woke up with quite a bit more discomfort which seemed to worsen as the day went on. By 3:00 that afternoon I was in a LOT of pain. At around 4:30 I went to lay the baby in his crib and as I lowered him down something popped in my lower back and my hands opened up involuntarily and I dropped him. Not to worry, he was only about 5 inches from the crib mattress and was unharmed-I on the other hand, was suddenly in intolerable pain. I couldn't move.
Fortuntely my mom was there and about 3 hours later when I realized this horrible pain wasn't getting any better, she took me to the ER. As the doctor explained what he saw on my x-ray, I almost didn't even hear him over the loud voice of failure, "That's ok...you have a new baby-you don't have time to workout anyway. In fact, maybe you should just delay getting back on track...I mean what good is eating well going to do when you can't work out? Besides, you're married now and he loves you like you are-you don't need to change." Yes, my failure's voice is very convincing.
I listened to the voice and weighed what it had to say before deciding it was dead wrong! Just because the voice of failure was speaking to me didn't mean that I was a failure. I decided right then and there to do what it took to get well and BE well. Not being able to workout only means that I'll be slightly delayed in regaining the fitness level I had pre-baby. It doesn't mean I can't lose weight or continue to be a good example and help for my husband who is trying so hard to lose weight as well.
Because I had my own voice and didn't allow failure to be my voice, I now have something I'm really proud of to show for it...I have lost 11 pounds. That's 11 without a workout-just by eating a good healthy diet and making good choices. With my doctors encouragement, I made the decision to go to physical therapy so that I can recover the right way and feel confident in my body again. I'm making really good progress and can now bend and move without pain. I'm doing some small workouts at physical therapy-work in the pool, the exercise bike, and some weights. I told them my goal is to run again and they told me I'd be running there on the treadmill by the end of my treatment. Despite beind told it would be a long recovery and I probably wouldn't be able to do any physical activity for a month or better, I haven't had a pain pill in a week and have been walking and lifting pain free. All of this, because I didn't listen to the voice of failure.
I believe we all have a voice of failure and it tells each of us different things. it knows you well and says all the right things. Regardless of what it tells you, don't listen. Be your own voice...which you can call SUCCESS.
Monday, January 09, 2012
Ok so the verdict is in...my weight has climbed back up to 291 through the pregnancy. I have to admit that I'm a little disappointed in myself after having lost all the way down from 342 to 223 to have let it creep back up that high. The one thing I'm very proud of though is that I promised myself I'd never see a 3 at the front of my weight on the scale ever again and because I'm getting back on track now-I'm keeping that promise.
I'm not sure how to do this now with my time being even more limited, but I know I can. Before, it was just me and now it's me, my husband, and our beautiful baby boy. While time is even more of an issue than it was before I have something else that I didn't before and that's a whole new reason to do this and get healthy. In addition to being someone that my son can be proud of and being a good example for him, I have my husband who needs this even more than I do. He has come into my life and made my world a wonderful and amazing place to exist within and I want to give that back to him.
We sat down yesterday and each of us made a list of goals and rewards. It was actually a lot of fun and really motivating. I want to share my list here to keep me accountable and as soon as I get the chance I'll update my main page to reflect them as well.
So here we are...
280 New Workout Video
275 Highlights and a trim
265 5 lb hand weights
250 LL Bean Duffels (1 small, 1 large)
240 2 new notebooks from Staples
235 New Cookbook
223-where I was before Spa Day, hair mani-pedi, massage
215 New iPhone case
205 New workout clothes
Under 200 Personal Trainer
Within Range of 175-190 Get away with my husband
180 Movie Date with my favorite guy
Met goal of 175 New wardrobe and a trip that requires a passport
It's going to be more rewarding than ever checking these off as they are met because we are doing it together. It thrilled me to see him get so excited about it too. We spent an hour or more just sitting here and dreaming big while we made our lists. We want to have another baby in a year or two and I am trying to meet my goal weight by then...for my health AND my sanity!
I'm also realizing that while it's always important to take this journey for yourself, there can be extra motivation when you're also doing it for someone else. I mean, you have to do it for YOU no matter what, but when you can be an example, an inspiration and motivator for someone else the rewards of your success increase 10 fold!
I think it would serve us all well to keep that in mind. Someone is ALWAYS watching your success and you could be their hope, their proof it can be done, their reason to try.
So keep SPARKING!
Sunday, January 01, 2012
WOW..what a year 2011 has been! As many of my spark buddies already know, I have been on a lengthy absence from Spark due to the many changes in my life this past year.
The changes all started back in March when I found out I was expecting a baby...my little miracle boy. Life got busy with a promotion at work and preparations for the baby and even a wedding! So, let me take a minute to first introduce you to my new husband and best friend, JJ.
We actually met and dated for a little while about three years ago, but life got busy and we each took a different path for a while before starting to see each other again in early 2011. He hadn't seen me since I had lost 118 pounds so I was really excited to show him the new me. So we started seeing each other again and it didn't take long to realize we had something special. We were given something even more special when I was able to share with him at the end of March that I was expecing a baby.
I don't talk about it much but I had been married previously for nine very long unhappy years. That being said, I had to do a lot of serious consideration before deciding I'd say yes if he asked me. Well Labor Day weekend he asked and I said "Yes!" So with love in our hearts and a baby on the way, we figured why wait, and in a small private ceremony with only our closest family, we were married on September 25th.
My very talented mother in just four days made me a dress to accomodate my seven months worth of baby belly.
It was beautiful and I'm so lucky to have such a wonderful new family.
Then on November 20th I got the amazing gift of a baby boy. Meet Jaxon Christie Meadows...just minutes after he was born...
So obviously this year has been a huge year for change, but now it['ws time to change again. My new husband has a lot of weight to lose and I have put back on quite a bit through the pregnancy. We have been talking and have a plan to do what we need to do to be healthy and set a good example for our baby boy.
This week is our planning week. We are a making goals and rewards list and creating menus and setting ourselves up for success. I go back to the doctor for my six weeks check up on January 6th which will be my first weigh in since having the baby. I'm not looking forward to it, but it is what it is. I have some ground to regain, but I can do it and this time I have a whole new motivation-my baby boy. My husband and I both have every reason to succeed because of him.
We had a conversation yesterday and he told me he still wasn't feeling motivated and it occurred to me that while motivation is important, it's determination that trumps it in importance. Starting out you don't need motivation-what you need is DETERMINATION. Determination will bring success and success will bring motivation.
I am determined.
Look out 2012...here we come!!!
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