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*Putting on a brave face* (Wall of text crits you for OVER 9000!)

Monday, March 12, 2012

The past week has had its ups and downs.

Jezi moving in has been AMAZING. I keep apologizing for coming off as neurotic about things like cleaning up the house and doing dishes or laundry immediately, but it's because I don't want to slip into bad habits that I had in the apartment. But you know what? She's SUCH a good roommate so far! I feel like I have a partner willing to do her share rather than living with a man-child expecting me as substitute-mommy to clean up after him. Seriously...with him, I made most of the meals (he justified it with the fact that he USED to make most of the meals, despite me saying that if he hated being the main cook then, then he should know I'm not happy about it now--this was supposed to be a partnership, not a game where we were keeping score and dong things tit-for-tat) and cleaned up everything afterward. When he made meals (although to be honest, he brought home fast food or ordered delivery as often as he could), *I* still ended up cleaning up after him.

Not so with Jezi. She's taking initiative to cook and clean up and help out. There are times I just stare at her in shock because she does something nice completely unbidden. I had forgotten what it was like to have a *partner*.

I also found out it's okay to have a breakdown in front of her.

On Friday I sent an email to The Guy's mother and sister (his mom would share with his dad) about our breakup. I didn't share all the gory details, but hinted heavily that he was cheating. I took my share of the blame as well...I wasn't trying to vilify him, but also wasn't going to say he was a total innocent in this.

I said I hoped to be able to still call them family, but if the breakup cost me that, I loved them dearly.

But I think it cost me anyway.

His mom responded...it was polite, but felt like closure, and not in a good way. The "Fred and I wish you well," had a *final* feeling to it, and there was no comment hinting at, "We still love you." Apparently The Guy told his mom about two days prior to my email.

His sister--the one I was a bridesmaid for--JUST responded. It feels a little friendlier of a response, but still feels like a door closed. And The Guy showed up late to our weekend dungeon group because she drove down (3 hours) to visit him and take him out to dinner the day after the email. It hurt. I felt kicked when I was already down, and like he was being treated when he was the one who cheated.

I don't have any family. My parents are both deceased and I cut off communication with my brother when he showed his true colors over the estate (greed and self-centeredness). Seriously, he never asked how I was holding up, just demanded his money after making me jump through hoops, then said he'd take me to small claims court after hinting that I was intentionally trying to stiff him $1265...which wouldn't have been an issue if it wasn't for his meddling which caused the aforementioned hoop-jumping.

So it felt like the ONE THING that truly mattered--maintaining a good relationship with his family that had pretty much embraced me as one of their own for 10 years--was stripped away. When you don't have any family, losing what amounted to your "adoptive family" hurt. A LOT. Worse, it's because I'm also still protecting HIS secrets and the skeletons in HIS closet, and that knowledge...not even being able to tell HIM...is tearing me up inside.

I just want to reply back to them: "HE. CHEATED. ON. ME. AND. I. HAVE. PROOF." But I know that won't help me any. I think it's because I feel like I've already lost them so losing whatever is left of their respect doesn't matter, but dangit, it's NOT FAIR that he gets to get away being such a skunk and they don't know.

Whenever we had an argument I would say how his behavior was hurtful. He screamed at me, used manipulation, guilt trips, called me a liar on multiple occasions, and actually said my chronic depression was BULLSH!T. He even once called me a b!tch. I NEVER called him names like that, or attacked him as a person. So that devil on my shoulder is telling me, "He doesn't deserve protection! And he doesn't deserve to get away with everything he's done!"

It makes me so angry!

*deep breath*

I still have stuff at the apartment. The apartment is still a pigsty. I can't believe I lived like that for so long. I need to finish moving, and then...who cares. He can sleep in the bed he's made for himself. He's losing friends left and right, and that's not even my doing. Other people are getting sick of him, and they didn't go through half of what I put up with. Heck, they don't even know.

But my house is feeling wonderful. I'm finally shaking off the remnants of the bad memories of dad's (and mom's) illness, my brother's behavior, and my relatives' meddling. I'm dragging my feet on cleaning up the office, which has the majority of dad's "stuff" to deal with: computers, files, documents which may or may not be important, etc. The office was also my brother's childhood bedroom, somthere's still some of his stuff to box up and put in the basement.

Other than that, I still need to get my shower fixed, but I'm hopefully selling the other car within the week and the money from that will go to the shower and bills. That was a nice windfall. I had to get a new homeowner's insurance policy and when the agent came out to get measurements and stuff he noticed the other car that had been here unused since Dad died. Turns out his stepson's car just died, so he was looking for a reliable car at a decent price. This one will need new tires and a new battery, plus whatever work since it was sitting for so long. I'm estimating probably around $1500 or less worth of work and parts (based on what I paid to get my car going again when I let it sit for too long). It had been appraised at $3000 for the estate, so I'm offering it for $1500. Probably low-balling it, but honestly the insurance agent is someone we've trusted for 25 years. I remember sitting down with him when I got my drivers license and taking his "good driver" test before he put me on my parents' insurance. I'm glad the car is likely going to a good home, especially since it was my dad's car. I'm not particularly attached to it, but it was still DAD'S so I want the best for it.

I've also done other home improvements to the house in the form of changing the locks on the doors. I found a To-Do list from the late 90's, and my parents had wanted to change the locks for a LONG time. Considering a few house keys walked off with relatives during both my mom's and dad's funerals (several going home with my brother, I'm sure), it's kinda nice to feel like the house is going from "I live here and they can come over and walk in whenever they want" to actually being MINE and they'd have to ring the doorbell and be actual guests in MY house again.

And as I said, living with Jezi has been wonderful! I had my breakdown on Saturday night, and yesterday (Sunday) she was telling Twitter that living here is amazing, so she declared it Ailinea Appreciation Day. A few of our friends responded...not a whole bunch, but it made my day. You know, come to think of it, The Guy never even posted to our guild forum or Twitter or anything on my birthday...like EVER (yet I did it for him)...but Jez was always mindful of that kind of thing.

In two days her Boy-Thing (our term for significant other...not to be confused with "Man-Child" as I often call The Guy based on his behavior) will be coming to visit, and he knows all the gory details. Many hugs will be had before Jezi has her way with him. And in a week, Best Male Friend will also be visiting, so I'll be surrounded by wonderful loving people. SUCH an improvement over the environment I'd been in where I was living in a dump in an estranged relationship, caged away from the world with only my computer as a link to others. We have another friend who wants to road trip down here, and still another who wants to visit during what would have normally been our spring Ren Faire get-together. I offered to host a nice dinner party if he and his wife come up...something I always wanted to do but couldn't because the apartment was such a mess.

...I guess that's all I have for now.

The sad part is that this is the one space where I really get to talk about what's on my mind. In a way, y'all know me better than people who have known me longer and have visited in person. They SHOULD know the whole truth. But I can't just spill it in public at them like this. It sucks.

But if you've read this far, thanks for listening. emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KJDOESLIFE 3/12/2012 12:32PM

    Good for you not spilling the beans to his family. It's hard, but you're a better person for it! And living with a respectful, caring person will give you a good list of qualities to look for in your next Boy-Thing. ;)

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Tired Budgie is Tired

Thursday, March 01, 2012

Tonight is my last night of living on my own. And this time, it's a good thing. Jezi (Jezi_Sue here on SparkPeople) is in the process of driving up here to move in and be my roommate. She's staying in Atlanta tonight, and should arrive tomorrow afternoon/early evening.

I'm making the Slow Cooker Lasagna recipe from Chef Meg tomorrow for a move-in dinner. Her parents are driving up with her to help move her in, so I figured this way I could have some yummy, healthy food cooking while we get her settled. She said her parents will probably take us out to eat on Saturday, but it will be nice to have a meal ready since we will likely be too tired and dusty and bedraggled to go out.

I'm always nervous about having a roommate, especially one who is also my best friend. I don't want it to be a case where we end up hating each other. But since this is a fresh start for us both, I'm implementing house rules and schedules for us both to follow (and she's in agreement with - I'm basing the housework on FlyLady.com's schedule) to make it a good living situation (I will NOT let MY house become the same pit that the apartment became!). I learned a lot about myself regarding what I can and cannot tolerate in my living situation, so I hope that learning *each other* goes smoothly.

And since it IS a house, the good thing is we will likely not be tripping over each other all the time. After living with the slob that was my ex (who SUDDENLY has an interest in cleaning the apartment and buying HIMSELF new bedroom furniture, etc. -- he got his own Best Buy card last weekend, so once again I have to say YOU'RE WELCOME FOR BAILING YOU OUT WITH MY INHERITENCE TO GET YOUR FINANCES STRAIGHT! Jerk.) I think that starting us both out in a new place will at least help motivate me to keeping myself together.

It's a lot like having the motivation to eat right and exercise. When your fridge and pantry are full of junk food, it's hard to get started. But when you have an empty fridge that you need to fill, it's easier to start from scratch with the produce department and work from there. And then once you get into a routine, it's just easy. When you've grilled a bunch of chicken breasts on Sunday and carefully packed them into portion-sized containers, you're less tempted to go get fast food on Monday night. When your house is already clean, it's easier to pick up a small "hot spot" of clutter and run a vacuum than it is to clean ALL THE THINGS before you can even find a wall outlet to plug the vacuum into!

So anyway, I've not been certain how to plug the housework into my exercise tracker (I know they have it included, but I haven't been keeping record and tend to go in spurts because my back is really sore now) but I know I've been working hard. Here's the update:

House status:

Most of the rooms are clean and liveable. The office and sunroom are still cluttered with stuff that needs to be organized and put away. Again, my back is hurting so I'm going to wait until Jezi gets here and use her and her parents' help to get some of that taken care of.

Presently I have a bunch of clothes on my bed and dresser that I need to sort and put away tonight. I also have bags of toiletries, makeup, etc. in the bathroom that I need to sort and put away. Laundry is done, though, with the exception of the few things in the dryer now.

Jezi's room (my childhood bedroom) is dusted, vacuumed, and the bed made. Again, there are things in there that need to be dealt with/organized/put away/put somewhere else for storage, but I'll wait for her to get here.

Outside of the house is going to need a lot of work. I have overgrown bushes that need to be cut back a lot. Definitely a job that will take a couple of weekends. But it will be nice to have someone working with me. I've already asked Jezi if we can tackle a bush or two every weekend (or even during the week) after she moves in. Thankfully it's a small yard.

I'm concerned about finances because getting the house ready has eaten more out of my savings than I anticipated. And now it's looking like I'll also need to get a new dishwasher. The washer and dryer work, but I'd like to replace those soon. (The washer doesn't have a very large capacity, and the dryer isn't very powerful.) I WANTED a new bed (king size Tempurpedic) as my first major "for the house" purchase, but looks like that has dropped way down in priority.

So yeah...need a job. I haven't been looking for one simply because I NEEDED to move first, or I'd come up with every excuse in the book to not get away from The Guy. While I hate money struggles, I'd rather deal with that than have to continue living in the situation I had been in. I've paid off my student loans on a retail paycheck...I can handle financial stress. The emotional stress I was going through was sinking me into chronic depression, and for me, THAT was harder to pull out of. I can handle this.

I would LOVE to take a nap right now but... *looks at piles of clothes on bed and groans* yeah, not possible. Eew, and I STILL need to dust the night stand.

At least I have leftover chicken enchiladas for dinner all ready to go. Then raid. Then...I can handle the rest. Shouldn't take long, but definitely needed this short break.

  


I am SO evil. XD

Sunday, February 26, 2012

How to lose 300+ pounds in a weekend:

Dump the guy who's mooching off you.

You'll still have lots of blood, sweat, and tears, but that's from the emotion of going through it, and the workout involved in moving.

There are a lot of things about it that will suck horribly. But it will be worth it in the end.

Like today: I went to the store because I basically had NO FOOD in the house. Sure, I made some not-so-good choices (How DID those Doritos get in my cart? >.>) but THIS WEEKEND I am in celebration mode.

I got home, checked Twitter, and couldn't stop giggling.

He said: "Pizza, whiskey, cigar, Star Wars... #F*ckYeah" (of course, his version wasn't censored.)

I sent Jezi a text: "He put the wrong hashtag on that! It should read: 'Pizza, whiskey, cigar, Star Wars... #ForeverAlone'!"

Later, I texted her again after I made dinner. I sent her a picture of my dinner at my place on the table before I started eating: Filet mignon, broccoli, corn, red wine, and a piece of lemon cream cake. I said, "You had pizza as your celebration dinner? I'm sorry."

I also posted the pic to Twitter saying, "Dear dinner: You were the best I've ever had. Which is why I shall forever remember this moment. I miss you already..." I've have gotten many friends saying how amazeballs it looked.

Yeah, I twisted that knife. It felt good. I had to buy staples while he bought cigars? He tweeted today that his credit was finally almost perfect after years of bad credit from before we were together/when we started dating, but didn't acknowledge that I bailed him out SO MANY TIMES?

Fine.

He's gonna know that I made an awesome dinner and remember that I LIKE cooking like this.

His loss. Seriously. I'm better off now.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AILINEA 2/28/2012 6:45PM

    Definitely appreciate the comments/suggestions, but it's basically what Jezi said: Not exactly in a position to cut off contact with him completely.

On the plus side, neither of us are on Facebook, and right now all we have is Twitter and WoW in common. Even then, he hasn't been posting much to his main Twitter account (his RP account is where he spends most of his time, and FUNNY ENOUGH people there are beginning to think he's a jack@$$) and he doesn't spend much time in game because "it's become a chore" (and the thing about that is, like cleaning your house, you can either maintain it and it's not so bad, or you can hide from it and let it get worse...which is what he's done).

Part of why I had to blog about this here is because the snark was building up so much that I had to let it out somewhere safe before I let it out at him. I still have to deal with him by going over to the apartment and getting the rest of my stuff, but after that? I probably won't have anything to do with him again.

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JEZISUE 2/27/2012 5:33AM

  @Slap+Ishana -- Unfortunately the social situation that we're in keeps either of us from cutting off contact with him completely. (Trust me, after how he treated her I don't care to associate with him anymore either.)

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SLAPTHEFATCAT 2/27/2012 12:34AM

    I agree with Ishani.

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ISHANI29 2/26/2012 1:50AM

    Hon, get off his Twitter/FB/ Anything till you have him out of your system. Else you'll still be doing it to show him, not for you.

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Finally on my own (another LONG relationship TMI update)

Saturday, February 25, 2012

I moved yesterday. I had text messages flying between me and two friends (Jezi and Leo) whenever I could take a break, but most of the day was spent schlepping stuff from the apartment to the house, just so I could live here.

I have a ton of stuff still at the apartment, so I'm not fully moved OUT, but I'm at least comfortable with the staples at the house.

No big surprise: I moved all my stuff and was going to take my computer last. The Guy came home and said, "So I see by your computer being pulled apart that you've been moving. Are you staying there tonight, or here?" I told him I planned to stay at the house, but after a gajillion trips, I was tired, worn out, sore, and hungry. He offered to make dinner (hot dogs and beans, same as we had the night before) and then help me carry the computer to my car.

Yeah.

Then he asked how I was going to take my furniture. I said I was thinking of renting a U-Haul when Jezi's family came up to help her move in.

Him: "So...they might be coming into the apartment?"

Me: "Yes, if they have enough time after moving Jezi in and helping set up the house for her."

Him: "Okay, let me know so I know if I have to clean up or not."

He was more concerned about other people seeing his sloppiness and determining whether or not he had to clean up. And of course, he didn't make the glaringly obvious suggestion: "How about I help you move so they don't have to come in?"

No no, whichever option lets him do the least amount of work.

I get it. I know it's not easy to have your former significant other move out. But after we had an argument on Monday in which he SCREAMED at me that he "hates living with [me] and can't wait until [I'm] out" honestly I feel more like I've been kicked out than how I felt a week ago. That, coupled with moving into a house I'd been afraid to even visit over the past 3 1/2 years, plus the feeling that I am moving everything on my own...yeah, I know the change hurts. I feel it too. And he acts like I don't.

For the most part, I've been happier over the past few weeks. There have been some stumbles in emotions (which I didn't share with him, or pretty much anyone else), and there was the argument on Monday. Yeah, that was fun =/ but at least it proved I was doing the right thing.

Actually, let me run through that with you:

Saturday I went fixture and fridge shopping. When I was getting ready, I asked if he'd like to come along to get out of the house. He declined. I went on my merry way.

Sunday I decided on the fridge I wanted. Once again, I got ready to go out. I asked him if he wanted to come along. Thinking about it now, I was running late and had a sense of urgency, which is why he probably interpreted my invitation as something else, but I honestly was just making an offer ONLY because he was sitting in the exact same spot on the couch where he was sitting when I left on Saturday, and where he was when I came back. He came along this time.

He had Monday off and slept in. I got up at a decent time and started making phone calls: I scheduled the plumber, the gas company, the HVAC people, and the cable. Barring any disasters, I should be able to move at my leisure starting Friday. I had a lot done before he staggered out of bed.

He sat down to eat lunch (since it was way past breakfast) and asked me what was up. I went through the list of the things I had accomplished. Then I said, "And by the way, we're going to have to discuss what I'm taking and what I'm leaving since I paid for a lot of the stuff in here."

He then got mad. Because HE paid the rent and the utilities and the cable, it "wasn't fair" that I could claim all the physical goods since I paid for those.

Yeah, we split it so he was paying the bills, I paid for the food, entertainment, items, and vacations. He said he always made more money than I did, so it was unfair that we went through all his savings. (Note the "we" he claimed...lately he's been buying things for himself only, running through his OWN savings.) I informed him it was equally unfair that not only did we go through my savings, but nearly MY ENTIRE INHERITANCE while I bailed his @$$ out of financial situations and bought him things as I tried to buy back his affection to make him happy with me.

So if he was paying for the rent and bills and the occasional dinner - which he also used - then in what way was it fair that I paid for the food and vacations, major pieces of furniture, the computers, both tvs, paid $1500 for his car repairs, another $600 or so for his car insurance last year, etc. and I'm not allowed to keep anything?

The argument escalated and I brought up the password issue. Seriously, he jumped up, pointed at me, and bellowed that I was a liar because he's ALWAYS had a password. That's been his favorite thing to say to me lately. I'm a liar. We'd get pizza and he'd ask how many slices I'd like. I would be in the other room and respond, and he'd tell me again, "How many pieces would you like since you didn't answer?" This is the guy who has admitted he's got hearing loss in one ear, would be in the kitchen while I was in the living area with the tv on, and he wasn't paying attention. I'd say, "You must not have heard me. I said I'd like two pieces." And he'd say I didn't say anything and was lying because he KNEW I hadn't responded. There have been other incidents like that where he didn't hear me respond to a question and he'd outright call me a liar. And in the case with the password...maybe I hadn't noticed until I had reason to suspect him of hiding something. Just because I had never noticed before doesn't mean I was lying. I honestly believe(d) he didn't have a password before. (And to a degree I still think he didn't because accusing me of lying is his knee-jerk reaction when he gets defensive about something.)

Anyway, as he bellowed at me, I laughed in his face. "Lying? You're accusing me of lying? Let me tell you something *I* know...your behaviors? I know you've been continuing to ERP with your little girlfriends on Twitter after you lied to my face about wanting to stay together. I think you didn't care anymore, you just didn't want to lose your all-expense-paid vacation to Blizzcon or have an uncomfortable time around your family during your sister's wedding and the holidays."

He was, as expected, taken back and shocked. I still never told him that I have his passwords and got into his accounts to see the proof. I mentioned walking by his computer and seeing a chat with one of our guildies where he mentioned some frisky conversation with that guildie. (And I asked the guildie about it, and he didn't know if/that it had gone beyond "This chick is hitting on me something fierce!")

We argued some more. He said how much it stung that I "forced" him to come along when I bought the fridge, like I was rubbing it in his face. I told him I didn't NEED him there like he was insinuating, but I was trying to make a friendly gesture to get out and DO SOMETHING TOGETHER. He said how much he couldn't stand living with me and how hard he tried to make things work. Of course, he went on and on about how much HE suffered at the hands of my mood swings and chronic depression. I gave him an earful of what chronic depression is like:

"Chronic depression is the unshakable feeling of absolutely loathing yourself. From the moment a mood swing strikes until whatever you do to make it pass, you hate yourself so intensely that all you can think of are reasons why other people probably hate you too, and that the world would be better off without you. And you know what? I know you were trying to help and show me how you loved and cared for me. But when you're going through those thoughts of how worthless you are, all you can think is that since you can find nothing but fault in yourself then this other person COULDN'T POSSIBLY love you so they must be saying or doing nice things for some other reason. That's how much you hate yourself at those times."

He never knew how to pull me out. Leo does, and has been my rock to lean on when I would get in a depressed mood...but Leo also suffers from depression, so he knows how it feels. We've pulled each other out of that hole on many occasions. The Guy doesn't get it and can't empathize. He has no clue how it feels or what can help me get through it.

We went from screaming at each other to talking about what we had expected after our conversation in October. I told him that he acted better toward me for a while, but I recognized his behavior patterns as slipping. I felt like he was getting what he wanted out of me (paid vacation, comfort zone of having a servant to have dinner ready for him when he came home) while having his flings on the side. That didn't make me a girlfriend, or even a "maybe-we'll-get-back-together" roommate. It made me his servant and mother. I couldn't do that.

He said that at the time anyway he thought we weren't a couple. We were free to date if we wanted to, but would try to get back together later. To which I said, "No? But YOU were the one who said you wanted us to stay together or try to get back together. I cringed every time your family introduced us as being engaged. You never corrected them, so I thought we were still marginally a couple. Anyone who honestly wants to stay together shouldn't ALSO be cheating on the other person. And we never told anyone but the few people I told for *YOUR* comfort at Blizzcon, and you talked to them and 'corrected' me that we were just taking a break but still kinda together." I told him that he was sending me mixed signals when what I had said is we should end it...it was what I wanted to save us any more heartache, and if he agreed with that then he shouldn't have tried holding on as hard as he did. One or the other...if you want to stay together, then you don't have flings on the side and cover it up. If you don't want to stay together, then show a LITTLE respect and say it's okay and let us tell people in public already because it's just as uncomfortable when people call us a couple when we're not.

He told me that yes, I have been driving him crazy for the past several years. He misses the person I was when we first got together. (To be honest, I've missed who I was too...but he has this way of always shoving me into his shadow or even taking credit for things I've said or told him, so I've lost who I was and couldn't get it back around him.) He said I have been depressed and mopey and he just can't take it anymore. He went on and on about how my depression was dragging him down. Yeah, the guilt trip got to me, and I had tears running down my face at that point. But I didn't apologize. I just said, "Fine...I'll be out by Friday."

I think that finally hit him. I was serious. It wasn't just a "Oh, I'm happy to finally pull myself through and move into the house," but a "You are making me miserable and I'm about to have another depression attack because of your words, and I can't stand YOU anymore either so I'm leaving because you can't work through it." This wasn't me saying I'll TRY to be out. It was an affirmative statement. I WILL be out.

Then he said, "By the way...full disclosure..." *big dramatic sigh, honest sober sound to his voice, Oscar-winning performance....* "I had done the ERP before you confronted me about it. It was wrong and dumb on my part. I shouldn't have cheated. But I swear I called it off and it never happened again after you first brought it up."

Really? REALLY?! So the screenshots I have of him doing it at Christmas and at our friend's New Year's party are lies? The fact he did it through mid-January, and started up again at the beginning of February are figments of my imagination? The fact that it went OOC, and he wanted to see if it would work out in person with his first "partner" in November was a hallucination? Oh, he might have been honest about "I wasn't doing it during Blizzcon and my sister's wedding" but he was still chatting privately with that person, saying how much he missed her and how much he loved her and couldn't wait to get back home so they could be together again.

I resisted pointing back at him and calling him a liar to his face, like he did to me. Instead, I said, "You know, I don't care anymore. But I can't do this. It's clear we don't trust each other, and I don't think that's going to change at this point. Please, let's just call it right here. We are free to seek relationships with others. And we can finally publicly tell people that we are no longer together."

I think that also hit him. His meal ticket was finally leaving. He nodded slowly as it sunk in.

But you know what? I don't care. I felt this HUGE weight lift off my chest when I said "We are free to seek relationships with others."

It's funny, too...I told Poe about some of this, saying I was moving out and The Guy and I were no longer together. Poe asked when I was moving, and I said, "Barring any disasters, Friday." Poe: "And when are you going to tell people." Me: "Friday or soon after." Poe: "I wonder how many of the guys in guild will start being more forward in hitting on you? I expect Leo will. Bro and Vor probably will. Maybe even Turt..." (Funny thing is Poe wasn't mentioning himself, but I know he's got a crush too. But it felt good to actually feel desirable, you know?)

So yeah...fast forward to the present.

Wednesday I had the plumber come over and fix the fixtures and my shower. I'll have to get the shower re-tiled before I can use it, but thankfully there's another shower that works fine. The gas was turned on that day too. It was warmer outside at ~60 degrees than it was in the house! I sat here shivering in 50-degree temperatures since 10 am (the plumber was over from 10-12:45) as I waited for the gas guy to show up. And I couldn't leave to get food because the gas guy was scheduled between 1-4. I talked to Leo on the phone, and he called me silly and told me to order a pizza for delivery. I still have a phobia of the phones, but we made a deal: He would work on the paper he had to write if I would call and order a pizza. (That's the kind of thing Leo does to help me help myself, and afterward I felt so proud that I did it.) And as Murphy's Law dictates, the gas guy arrived before the pizza guy did. But at least I got to scarf a couple of slices while he dealt with the meters and stuff outside first.

It felt SO GOOD to have the heater turned on! I had been sitting on one of those massage/heating chair cover pad things with a blanket over my legs and my jacket on for about an hour while I talked to Leo. It was the best I could do at the time!

In fact, on Thursday the house was a little bit on the warm side!

The HVAC guy came on Thursday to do the "winter check" for the heaters, cleaned them, did a little maintenance, etc. I spent most of the time just cleaning the downstairs. I even mopped the floor as best as I could! Although when the delivery guys brought the fridge, I mopped the area where it would go, and really needed a fresh bucket of water for that. So at this point, I really need to mop the kitchen again.

Yesterday the cable guy was here at 8 am. My "appointment" was "he will show up between 8 and noon." Knowing our cable company, I was about to start a betting pool on Twitter when he'd show up, but he actually beat me to the house by a few minutes!

Setting up the cable for the tv was easy. The challenge was the internet.

There's only one cable port upstairs, and it wasn't even active. It's in the master bedroom. I want to have the cable modem and router in the office (my brother's bedroom) so when Jez gets here we can have our main computers on a wired connection, and things like netbooks running on the wireless. If there's ever a time when I'm asleep and the modem needs to be bounced, she won't have to come knocking on my door to have it done.

But for now, it's in my room. The funny thing is that the cable guy discovered that there are actually FOUR cable lines in the house. Mind you, we built this house when I was 8. I lived here until I was 18 (moved out for college), then came back after I graduated and lived here for another 2 years. The only cable jacks we have EVER known about were the two downstairs (living room and sunroom), and the one in the master bedroom (which we never had activated because my parents never allowed tv's in the bedrooms). I have NO CLUE where this 4th line apparently goes!

I would guess it's in the office (my brother's room) since they also put in a phone line into that room, but not into my childhood bedroom. But that's only a guess. Once I get the office cleaned up and cleared out (I want to get rid of the big plastic desk so Jez and I can both have desks in there) we'll probably play a game of popping open every outlet face plate to see if there's a stray cable wire in the wall there.

After the cable guy was done, I just started unloading my stuff. I did a load of laundry here--the washer and dryer work, but they have never been very good. I also discovered the faucet leading to the washer is dripping, so after that load was done I turned it off and called the plumber again. The other issue with the house's plumbing is that the water pressure regulator is kinda shot. So you'd turn on the water and it would slowly lose pressure. It's tolerable, but I told the plumber I changed my mind and would like to have that fixed. So that'll be Monday.

I hauled a couple loads of belongings over. After my first trip, I went back to the apartment, went through the clothes I had to bring over, and changed out of my jeans and light sweater to yoga pants, sports bra, and tshirt. XD It was 75 degrees outside!

I had a load of items ready to go already. I had decided to just use and re-use my suitcases since handles and wheels are nicer than boxes. I then stripped my bed at the apartment and threw the sheets and my final laundry into the wash there. Then I brought over the rest of my clothes. Went back, moved the laundry into the dryer, and started collecting toiletries and other items. Went back, and disassembled my computer. I brought over all my peripherals and cords and the rest of the toiletries. Went back and filled my suitcases with the laundry I had just done, and brought over one of my monitors and the battery backups. Finally I went back and had to bring over my computer tower.

At that point was when The Guy got home...which was the start of this entry. XD

Between trips I was doing things like making the bed here and trying (unsuccessfully) to drag the desk downstairs up here to use as my computer desk. (I am presently working on a card table since I can't break down my desk at the apartment just yet.)

I am sore, my legs and arms are bruised, my muscles hurt, and I don't have any food here. I have to go to the grocery store to buy ALL THE THINGS.

I haven't even decided what my "First real meal in the house" is going to be. I'm thinking steaks, but I want something REALLY special.

In fact, that's what I should do now. Put my contacts in, do my makeup, and go to the store.

Last thing I want to say, though: My dad's bed was never really comfortable to me. But between putting on my egg crate, my heated mattress pad, my t-shirt knit sheets, and my blankets, it was actually both comfortable and familiar to me. I slept pretty well last night! And despite the water pressure thingy being not quite working, the shower I took felt AMAZING. We have 2 large water heaters here too, so I didn't even feel rushed like I do at the apartment before the hot water runs out!

The best text message I got last night came from Leo: "Welcome to your new life." Yeah. You know, life CAN be pretty good!

  


It's a Beautiful Day!

Monday, February 20, 2012

I'm sitting here right now listening to the title song by U2 on repeat with tears rolling down my face.

Happy tears.

The Guy had a day off, so he was awake for a while and is napping right now. I don't think he has actually gotten out of bed aside from a bathroom run, but I don't care.

As for me?

I called the plumber. Arranged for him to come over on Wednesday.

Then I called the gas company. They will also be over on Wednesday to turn the gas on. The customer service rep was SO NICE. The gas was turned off because my job contract ended a few months after my dad died, so my brother said he'd help take care of the bills. But right after that, it was looking like I would get the house, so his method of "taking care of the bills" was to not pay them until the utilities were cut off. But when I talked to the customer service rep, she said that because I was starting a new account and it was cut off because my father was deceased, she would just ignore that and start the new account. I didn't have to pay the $450 or so balance from before (like I had to for the water), which helped with costs of moving.

I have MY NEW REFRIGERATOR scheduled to be delivered on Thursday! I am SO EXCITED about this!

I also scheduled a heating/AC company to inspect and do any maintenance and repair on the heating and AC units on Thursday. I have a feeling there will be some repairs needed (Ugh!) but honestly, I can deal with this.

All I need to do now is schedule the cable company to come out and hook up the cable and internet. But first I am thinking of buying a new tv so I can get HD service since Dad's old tvs are...old. Seriously, we had one since the mid-80's. I just need to discuss with The Guy what kind of plan we're on now, and then with Jezi what kind of plan we want since we both don't watch a lot of tv but DVR service would be nice.

The Guy is still in bed. I have made all kinds of progress on moving out.

Bono, you are SO right...

"You love this town even if that doesnít ring true
Youíve been all over and itís been all over you

It's a beautiful day,
Don't let it get away
It's a beautiful day,

Touch me, take me to that other place
Teach me love, I know Iím not a hopeless case..."

Now excuse me while I go find a box of tissues and have a good thorough happy cry.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AILINEA 2/21/2012 12:54AM

    @Elphyy - I like that idea! =) There's a lot of stuff I need to do...would definitely like to share the joy!

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ELPHYY 2/20/2012 10:35PM

    emoticon emoticon
I'm so happy for you! Congratulations lady! Keep updating us and post pics of the house (and fridge) you should document your move! Maybe make a photo collage to hang on the wall =-P

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