Wednesday, August 12, 2009
I started my program of the Weigh Down workshop today, after listening to 9 of the 12 videos (of Weigh Down at Home) on Youtube.
I have known for years that my problem was an emotional greed for food, and Ive been floundering over what kind of DIET to start...Raw Food, no beef, no pork, high protein, etc etc etc...wanting to be in CONTROL and ignore this heart issue for fear of not being able to really surrender my desire to eat. Well, the control hasnt worked. WANTING to lose weight, hasnt been enuff to make me change. All Ive managed to do while on Spark is log my BINGES, and im glad ive done that because it gives me a picture of exactly how little physiological hunger has to do with what ive been eating. Have several days backlogged to track also, for reference.
Ive been thinking heavily about what to do over the last several days I've been on Spark and I remembered I had always wanted to take a Weigh Down Workshop class...and never did. So I decided to do so :) Im going to be taking one of the live seminars online to gain support from real people, and I'm going to OBEY my body's signals of hunger and fullness, and deal with the emotions that I've filled with food, by turning them over to God. That is not an easy to think about when Ive felt astranged from Him thru no fault of HIS. Watching Gwen talk about her relationship with God makes me want to have the same!! And believe me, this woman knows how to do SKINNY, and she looks great and is HEALTHY.
So today, I waited for the GROWL, just like Gwen said. I fixed exactly what my body called for, fried eggs in olive oil with coarse kosher salt, big fresh tomatoe slices and just the right touch of olive oil, and I SAVORED each small bite, and STOPPED when it didnt look and taste good anymore with about two bites of egg left on my plate.
So far Ive eaten about one TENTH of the amount I normally would have being AWARE of the growl rather than eating out of habit and emotion. I dont even really know how I managed to accomplish this exactly but...I do know myself being in CONTROL hasnt worked. I should have figured that much out huh? LOL, I got myself to 328 pounds by 'doing the driving', I'm prolly not the best one to consult on the matter. LOL. And I realize it has never been my body that has 'betrayed me', but my heart. I have completely IGNORED hunger and fullness signals, but they have been there and working perfectly all along.
If anything I've said has resonnated with you, here is the websites for the Weigh Down Workshop, and their Youtube channel :)
Best Wishes and keep on SPARKIN!!! The GROWL RULES!!
7pm Felt the GROWL AGAIN. It was a definate GROWL. I tried to out wait it, thinking it would go away, and honestly thinking "I shouldn't be hungry again until LABOR DAY with as much weight as I've got to lose" but that is the ditch on the other side of the road.
Went to taco bell, got ONLY ONE steak baja chalupa and guac. SAVORED each bite and left a few bits of what I call 'bread butt'. LOL. That butt of the bread that nobody wants to eat, but I have eaten in times past just because its there. And I'm done :) NOT OVER FULL!!!!! This is a so much better feeling.
I'm also looking at my 'recommendations' on my nutrition page, and now instead of going OVER to Kingdom Come, I'm way under....but I have to trust my body. If I can't trust my body I'll never be free.