Saturday, April 14, 2012
The "but" here is the fact that at least I'm cognizant of it, and thinking about it, and, having mentioned it on here the day before, getting past the extreme apathy. Still not to the point of going out and doing all of what I ought to be doing, but at least mentioning it out loud. Now, to do the same to flesh and blood people.
That said, I did get out for some semblance of exercise yesterday, a half hour or 40 minutes of walking. Granted, it was to go get food, so perhaps self-cancelling, but it's a start. Only problem, got back from the walk with the groin complaining loudly, so I decided not to go play basketball afterwards. Good thing, too, as the rest of the group decided not to go in favor of watching the Bulls and Heat play on tv. I really ought to be checking the relevant e-mail account on Tuesdays and Thursdays. :)
So, Saturday, haven't a clue what I'm doing until 8 PM or so, which leaves the whole day to get up to some sort of trouble. Hope it's the useful kind!
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Been in the depths of an apathetic hole for the past ten or so days, haven't done a lick of exercise this month yet, and just not engaged with what I ought to be doing. I'm cognizant of it, just have to break out of this funk. Oddly enough, even though I feel like I've been eating like utter crap this past week, with too many fast food or sit down meals, and not enough making stuff at home, I haven't yet paid for it on the scale. And perhaps even stranger, I've only checked the scale a couple of times in the past week, a far cry from the usual at least twice a day check.
Maybe I'm too aware of eating badly, and am scared of what I'll see, I'm not sure. Maybe I'm just annoyed at myself for continuously thinking I'll make it to the gym, or out to play basketball, or frisbee, and then not making it for ten days running now. Granted, I'm recovering from a groin/hip thing which gives me a relatively valid excuse for the last few days, but why am I not using the exercise bands I have lying around, or the low weight dumbbells to go SOMETHING? Haven't got an answer for that. I also haven't got an answer for why I'm not doing anything more on SP than just checking in, and spinning the wheel. With all this free time I have, I could at least be learning something. But, that's not happening at the moment, either.
So, yeah, apathy, I haz it.
Friday, March 30, 2012
So, when I last left off nattering, I mentioned looking beyond the initial goal I'd set. And that got me thinking about a few other comments I've seen along the way, in the 6 months I've now been perusing SparkPeople. One of my favorite blog entries was Blue42Down's entry on how she DIDN'T have a preset idea of what she wanted to look like at the end of the journey, a thought that, at the time, I agreed with. When I began to try and lose weight, I just wanted there to be less of me, but without a specific notion of where that less would come from.
In the couple of months (?) since I saw that diary, I've had a bit of an evolution on that particular point, however. A little bit of that comes from results that seem to be showing up despite themselves, and a bit more from one particular pet peeve with myself.
The results I'm seeing are largely confined to my legs right now, since, as has been the case all along (and I'm talking since I was in high school, and played soccer), any strength training I'm doing incidentally, as I'm playing ultimate, or I'm playing basketball, are largely confined to my legs. So, I'm seeing that my calves are shaping up decently. Like I said, way back in the day, I played high school soccer, so I had decent legs, and until a couple of years into college, strong quads, that I could flex, and form a non curved surface, that you could eat off, if you happened to lack a plate. I'm thinking that maybe I want to try and recapture that look.
The other thing that I want to try to do is to is try and address the Dunlap Syndrome I suffer from. You know, that horrible malady where your belly dun lapped over your belt? I think that's the key visual indicator that, unbeknownst to myself, I've actually been looking forward to.
Oddly, the focus on working out the lower body, and the possible reduction in my waist (I've never actually taken measurements, but certain jeans and fitting less snugly, so I take that for a good sign) are conspiring to actually make the belly look worse at the moment. Maybe that's illusion, maybe that's just a figment of a body image issue, I'm not sure entirely. But it's something I'm aware of, and something I'm specifically hoping to see change. So I guess my sanguinity about what it is I'm looking for visually from a weight loss has expired, but perhaps giving myself visual cues to focus on will help me in the next phase of this trip? Who knows.
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Recurring pattern with my bloggy efforts, I start out somewhat consistent, and then it falls to pieces. I've been oddly reluctant to scribble anything on here this week, and I'm not sure why. Not like I'm attempting to enthrall an audience or anything. I mean, if you're looking to me for entertainment, I really feel sorry for you :)
Got a thrill yesterday, while watching the Detroit Red Wings play at the Columbus Blue jackets, seeing Michigan goalie Shawn Hunwick skating during warmups and on the bench for Columbus, wearing his maize and blue gear in the heart of Buckeye country. It was just last weekend that I saw the end of his incredible Michigan career, when I went up to Green Bay, the third straight year Michigan's season ended in sudden death overtime, in a game featuring a waived off Michigan goal. But enough about that BS.
Got on the digital scale today, and the number was divergent enough from the analog scale that I tried it again - meaning, I took another reading while leaning on the wall, so as to artificially reset its measurement, and then tried again. Sometimes when I do this, it reads higher, sometime lower, so I'm not doing it to gain an advantage, just to get a truer reading (it's a bit squirrely...and I'm not talking about myself :)
When I leaned (heavily) on the wall, the reading was 158.4, and I had a flashback to summer 2000, and rehab for the torn ACL I was doing that summer. Can't recall it if it was before or after the surgery, but I'd hopped up on the scale, and it came up with that exact number, and the nurse was shocked at it, because, apparently, I didn't look like I should weight that much. I had to laugh, because it was the LIGHTEST I'd been in a while, and that was almost entirely due to atrophy in my left leg, the one with the torn ACL.
But it was worth a laugh, a rueful laugh, a dozen years later. And I wonder if it's possible for me to get down to that number again. I mean, I'm off 15-20 lbs from my peak of 205.4, but I've severely plateaued, needing the first couple of months to go from 195 down to 190, and on a similar apparent pace to the goal of 185 by the end of April that I've set for me. Knocking off weight is getting more difficult, and I can imagine it will continue to do so as I shed more. But I started this trip with the goal of getting down to 180, and now I'm wondering if that's just a way station on the road to another goal. Think it's a good sign, that I'm close enough to be looking beyond where I was originally aiming!
Monday, March 19, 2012
Got my eyes checked out, and there's nothing wrong save for for some dryness, that should be ok with regular drops, none of those expensive types. Still had headaches for a few days last week, and that was at least partly due to actually getting sick on top of the eye issues. And then, too, they may have coincided with me trying to quit drinking pop entirely. After seeing the optometrist (a doc who had a manner somewhere between a Willem DaFoe character and Lumbergh from office space, except without being annoying in any way), I tried imbibing caffeine again, and the headaches abated. Not entirely gone, but that may be from a horrible sleep pattern I've established recently.
Which can be fixed...although, by scribbling this as the clock creeps towards 2 AM, that won't get fixed tonight. But, you see, I have an excuse...well, not an excuse, but a reason. You see, after being told that I absolutely must have to read the Hunger Games before the movie comes out, and not being able to get my hands on it the last few weeks because everyone I know who has the book(s) has lent them out on the same basis to other people, and I had no interest in actually, you know, purchasing the books myself, I went to visit friends last night who not only had them, but had them handy, because the person they meant to lend them out to rather reluctantly declared that she should rather study. So I got to borrow them. And I've managed to get through half of the first book, and I'm intrigued.
Now, I'm not averse to teen lit, what with being a fan of Harry Potter, the Prydain Chronicles, etc, but I'd rather wondered whether this series was overhyped. And I'm finding myself pretty well interested in what's going on. So I'm thinking, I'll probably finish the first book by tomorrow, and by the time I get done watching the movie with one group of friends or another, likely this weekend, I'll be able to deliver the old canard, "The book was better".
In other news, my head's cold. That's despite the appearance of June weather over the weekend...the last 4 or 5 days really. I played basketball on Thursday, as per usual, but rather than the comfortable haven that elementary school gym had been the previous two months (once a week), the temp in there was 20 degrees warmer than it was previously, and we sweated accordingly. Rather than playing right up until 8 PM, and through it, until the janitor gave us a knowing nod, we were pretty much wiped out by 7:45. And then on Friday, a trip out for ultimate frisbee, again in the heat of March that felt more like the heat of June.
I posted a pic recently of an amusing hair day, taken a month or so ago, or a mop that hadn't been chopped since October, I believe. And that hair was a sweaty mess by the end of both of those exercise periods...so, with hopes that the weather doesn't revert to what March should really behave like, I took electric shearers in hand, and hit the reset button. Back down to more like the pic of me and the boys from Haken, as seen on my spark page. 8th of an inch buzz. Can't stop the slightest breeze. I slept with a winter cap on yesterday, because, seriously, my head was cold. It's ok so far tonight, doesn't take much getting used to, but I guess when you haven't cut your hair for 6 months and then take nearly all of it off, a bit of adjustment might be in store.
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