Monday, April 23, 2012
Unfortunately, it was an illusion borne of illness. The whole being sick and not wanting to eat much got me under the 185 mark I'd set as an end of April goal, but the return, with a vengeance, of my appetite starting Thursday, and a less than healthy (foodwise) weekend returned the scale to its 187 range. I've definitely plateaued, and ironically enough, at the bottom end of the weigh loss from two years ago, at that 187 level. So I'll enjoy breaking through this barrier, even if it's a little bit later than I'd figured on doing.
I did make it back to the gym, finally, after an absence of three weeks dictated by apathy, a lingering groin pull, and illness, and I fear that I overdid it. 2.5 hours there, even if a chunk of that was just shooting a basketball on my own, left me a bit sore for the weekend. That wasn't helped by going to a heavy metal concert, and getting stepped on by a guy who had to be at least 6'8", 350 lbs. And I wasn't even mixing it up with the kiddies this time, I was off to the side. But the mosh pit was wide, due to the relatively small dance floor at the venue, and though the guy made for a decent wall, he wasn't an immovable object, and one of the crowd fluctuations made him step back, right onto my big toe. It's probably coincidence that it's throbbing just a bit, two days later, at this moment, but it certainly hurt at the moment.
The band I went to see is called Sepultura, a Brazilian based band (with a singer from Cleveland), who created the song Ratamahatta, which would certainly be in my top 20, and perhaps make my top ten list of favorite songs, if I really sat down and figured them out. When they began their set, I wasn't sure if they'd top the previous band (the majority Filipino band Death Angel. It was a night of minority metal, what with Krisiun also hailing from Brazil, and Havok being the whitest band, with half their guys of the caucasian persuasion), but then they launched into Refuse/Resist, and the doubts were silenced. They ended with an encore of Ratamahatta and the title track from the album it's on, "Roots", my fave from their catalog, a perfect ending for me.
Link to Ratamahatta on youtube is below, if you're curious.
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Right as I think I'm getting through an extreme phase of one funk, I get hit with funk of another type, the kind that clogs up nasal passages and causes bad headaches. Really bad headaches. Didn't manage to get up to too much trouble on the weekend, because I spent most of it being a lump on the couch or the bed, watching hockey, or just wishing daylight wasn't as painful to the eyes.
Ok, I exaggerate, a bit, but you've all been there, in that sick state where burrowing yourself under blankets just seems like the only course. Of course, I'm typing this at 4 AM, in that weird twilight zone where I'm completely exhausted, and equally far away from falling asleep. Might have something to do with getting out of bed at about 1 PM Sunday, after a night where I seemed to wake up every hour. Actually, I don't specifically recall seeing the clock read 4:something, so perhaps not every hour. But again, I don't exaggerate much.
Once again, I'm left to declare that today, Tuesday, will be that day, the one where I get some semblance of exercise. But since I'm again unlikely to wake prior to the anti-witching hour (or, as other people call it, Noon), we'll just have to see about that. The difficulties breathing from the snot, and the ever so slightly wheezing lungs (heretofore not an issue, and not one I'm happy to hear come into play....where'd I put that darn inhaler, anyway?) don't promise a quick descent into the sleepytime gorilla museum (It's the name of a band, which I've adopted as an occasional reference to falling asleep, in case you were wondering what sort of cold medication I might be on).
But I do prattle on endlessly, in a tiresomely whining manner. I guess there were moments of the weekend which were nice, such as the cookout I made it to, before the sniffles took over entirely. And then there was the concert I attended thereafter, featuring bands I hesitate to name lest you think I'm even more of a psycho that you might already believe, an event I felt compelled to leave when I found myself falling asleep right in front of a 250 pound, heavily bearded, long hair sporting dude spitting death metal growls. Not sure he would have appreciated me snoring at him in lieu of applause.
Anyway. I did manage to step out of my apartment for a bit today, running to the store for some needed supplies. It was one of those, I feel ok now, let's go! and Nope, still really sick! by the time you get to the store types of trips. Which I only mention as an excuse for buying doughnuts. Of which I might have eaten 2 and a half.
I'd kind of been craving them, having driven past a favorite bakery a couple of times in the past couple of weeks at hours when it's been closed. Sadly, these grocery store imitations barely pass muster, and I'll probably feel compelled to visit Greenbush Bakery sometime in the near future. But not too near, if the lingering guilt over this half dozen has anything to say about it.
Ok, enough rambling out of me, I must make a pretense at sleep. Wish me luck getting there before the birds start chirping (i have approximately an hour, if yesterday 5:something waking experience is proof of anything).
Saturday, April 14, 2012
The "but" here is the fact that at least I'm cognizant of it, and thinking about it, and, having mentioned it on here the day before, getting past the extreme apathy. Still not to the point of going out and doing all of what I ought to be doing, but at least mentioning it out loud. Now, to do the same to flesh and blood people.
That said, I did get out for some semblance of exercise yesterday, a half hour or 40 minutes of walking. Granted, it was to go get food, so perhaps self-cancelling, but it's a start. Only problem, got back from the walk with the groin complaining loudly, so I decided not to go play basketball afterwards. Good thing, too, as the rest of the group decided not to go in favor of watching the Bulls and Heat play on tv. I really ought to be checking the relevant e-mail account on Tuesdays and Thursdays. :)
So, Saturday, haven't a clue what I'm doing until 8 PM or so, which leaves the whole day to get up to some sort of trouble. Hope it's the useful kind!
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Been in the depths of an apathetic hole for the past ten or so days, haven't done a lick of exercise this month yet, and just not engaged with what I ought to be doing. I'm cognizant of it, just have to break out of this funk. Oddly enough, even though I feel like I've been eating like utter crap this past week, with too many fast food or sit down meals, and not enough making stuff at home, I haven't yet paid for it on the scale. And perhaps even stranger, I've only checked the scale a couple of times in the past week, a far cry from the usual at least twice a day check.
Maybe I'm too aware of eating badly, and am scared of what I'll see, I'm not sure. Maybe I'm just annoyed at myself for continuously thinking I'll make it to the gym, or out to play basketball, or frisbee, and then not making it for ten days running now. Granted, I'm recovering from a groin/hip thing which gives me a relatively valid excuse for the last few days, but why am I not using the exercise bands I have lying around, or the low weight dumbbells to go SOMETHING? Haven't got an answer for that. I also haven't got an answer for why I'm not doing anything more on SP than just checking in, and spinning the wheel. With all this free time I have, I could at least be learning something. But, that's not happening at the moment, either.
So, yeah, apathy, I haz it.
Friday, March 30, 2012
So, when I last left off nattering, I mentioned looking beyond the initial goal I'd set. And that got me thinking about a few other comments I've seen along the way, in the 6 months I've now been perusing SparkPeople. One of my favorite blog entries was Blue42Down's entry on how she DIDN'T have a preset idea of what she wanted to look like at the end of the journey, a thought that, at the time, I agreed with. When I began to try and lose weight, I just wanted there to be less of me, but without a specific notion of where that less would come from.
In the couple of months (?) since I saw that diary, I've had a bit of an evolution on that particular point, however. A little bit of that comes from results that seem to be showing up despite themselves, and a bit more from one particular pet peeve with myself.
The results I'm seeing are largely confined to my legs right now, since, as has been the case all along (and I'm talking since I was in high school, and played soccer), any strength training I'm doing incidentally, as I'm playing ultimate, or I'm playing basketball, are largely confined to my legs. So, I'm seeing that my calves are shaping up decently. Like I said, way back in the day, I played high school soccer, so I had decent legs, and until a couple of years into college, strong quads, that I could flex, and form a non curved surface, that you could eat off, if you happened to lack a plate. I'm thinking that maybe I want to try and recapture that look.
The other thing that I want to try to do is to is try and address the Dunlap Syndrome I suffer from. You know, that horrible malady where your belly dun lapped over your belt? I think that's the key visual indicator that, unbeknownst to myself, I've actually been looking forward to.
Oddly, the focus on working out the lower body, and the possible reduction in my waist (I've never actually taken measurements, but certain jeans and fitting less snugly, so I take that for a good sign) are conspiring to actually make the belly look worse at the moment. Maybe that's illusion, maybe that's just a figment of a body image issue, I'm not sure entirely. But it's something I'm aware of, and something I'm specifically hoping to see change. So I guess my sanguinity about what it is I'm looking for visually from a weight loss has expired, but perhaps giving myself visual cues to focus on will help me in the next phase of this trip? Who knows.
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