AHTRAP   27,881
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upside down, inside out

Thursday, March 08, 2012

Rough week. Fighting a huge dose of apathy, failing entirely to sticking to any sort of routine, not particularly caring about anything. Last week, I made it to the gym three times, and played basketball a 4th day. This week, Monday, I thought about going to the gym, Tuesday I thought about going to the gym, Wednesday I thought about going to the gym, and I haven't made it there yet. I'm pretty sure I'll make it to play basketball in a couple of hours, but I make no guarantees.

The week's rhythm, or lack thereof, might have been set on Saturday night, when after I went to the gym, I wandered a bit afield to go see a band play, and didn't get home until 3 AM, and didn't fall asleep until 5 AM. While I haven't been awake quite that late, I find myself insomniac once again, with the only difference being that I don't have anywhere to go in the morning, so it's ok if only in the sense that I'm not necessarily robbing myself of sleep. But, man, waking up at 10/11/12/whenever (ok, it hasn't been past 12, yet) is killing any sense of routine. You get up, putz around for an hour and a half, as was per usual prior to running off to work, but instead of the day still unfolding before you, it's 1 PM, and that day is half gone.

Here's the thing...I'm NOT looking for sympathy here, just scribbling out for posterity's sake that, yes, March 5-9 has been an extraordinarily crappy week, but one that's entirely of my own making, and declaring that the next week will be better (the bar is set very low! :)

I'm typing this from the library, where I've finally dragged my carcass to look up some stuff pertaining to work search. That's a good sign. I think when the weather starts behaving consistently (it went from the 60s yesterday to 35 now), I think I'll walk out here, and keep going on that track.

Low point of the week: completely flaking on remembering to go hang out with friends yesterday - we were to go see a local country band play, featuring the co-worker of one of the friends. I did forget about it, but I also managed, apparently, to not look at my phone at any point between 4 and 10 PM. Not sure how I pulled that off, as I've become one of those "always fiddling with my smartphone" people I used to laugh at before I got the darn thing. Utterly forgetting an event that we'd talked about checking out together, that's not like me. I'm going to chalk it down to the malaise that was this week as a whole.

Another thing: food has been a challenge for me, in that even with all this time, I haven't felt compelled to cook, really. Tuesday was the worst, as it was the day that I woke up after 12 PM, felt a bit queasy, so didn't eat right away, ended up at a buffet, and pretty much did a one meal day. Yes, yes, I know, bad Partha. But there you have it, a week of cans and cereal and what have you.

Next week can't help but be better, but I think I'm going to start next week now, because I'm kinda sick of this one.


  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JET150 3/11/2012 12:27PM

    From someone old enough to be your mom, and therefore qualified to say with a wagging finger:
Go to the gym, young man!

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BLUE42DOWN 3/9/2012 3:33PM

    New week starting on Thursday - GO!

Yeah, some days, some weeks, just seem like a cosmic disturbance (in the force *COUGH*). Best we can do is get back up, dust off, and start moving forward again.

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CATHOLICCORGI 3/8/2012 8:57PM

    Chalk it up to having a bad week, and get moving! I think everybody has to slack off every once an awhile. Makes you appreciate the "good" weeks...
Need some help getting into routines? Check out FLYLADY.net... now, don't laugh! There are some nuggets of wisdom on her site, and some dynamite ideas for getting into a routine that may help you stay focused as you look for work!
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You are in my prayers! Hang in there! Keep SPARKin' even if you do not feel like it!
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WINNIE1978 3/8/2012 8:23PM

    I hope you can get the insomniac thing under control again. Good luck with the work search! It sounds like you've been having an off week this week... hopefully next week will be better.

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bleeping bleep

Friday, March 02, 2012

Not worried because this too shall be eaten eventually, maybe I need more lines of text to test out the force quit on the browser and the destruction of the blog post. And yes, I just quit a software qa job, and yet here I am after midnight testing out something along those lines, after having the last two blog post attempts eaten. And I totally started this rant as a way to just see if I could do it again. Or more accurately have it done to me again but it seems but this time it is working. I guess it could still fail on me, at which point more gnashing of the teeth and cursing may ensue.

Two eaten blog posts in one - 5 minutes ago, I was in a happy sleepy place, just thought I'd share a couple of thoughts before nodding off. Last few weeks, low weight has been Saturday, apprx 36 hours post basketball. Curious to see if that trend continues, as instead of that session being the only coherent exercise, I've used all this additional free time to get to the gym twice this week. Hoping for some additive subtraction. Anyway, this post is still alive and I'm thinking I should save and quit before it becomes otherwise.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EDEN30 3/4/2012 5:10PM

    I have had that happen only a few times here but not lately.

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YOITLE 3/4/2012 5:54AM

    I see some strange stuff go on in SP with the cursor, but I also see it occasionally when I'm not on SP. Gremlins. How that's possible with all the security software I have is one of the mysteries of the universe.

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AHTRAP 3/2/2012 7:48AM

    Well, there's the other issue, of my computer dying, so I'm looking at SP exclusively on my phone these days, where if there is a word processor, I haven't discovered it yet...

It's not just that, though. The blog post page/interface behaves differently than, say, this comment field I'm typing in now. In here, you touch a spot and the cursor shows up there, as expected. On the blog interface, where you're typing in the blue field, that doesn't conform to the size of the screen at all, and it doesn't appear possible to resize it small enough to do so, such that sometimes you're typing off screen. Worst of all, the interface is off, such that if you touch a spot, you have no idea where the cursor actually is. It's extremely difficult to fix small errors, especially near the start of a line, and attempting to do so makes you vulnerable to the browser quitting. I'd guess that's bad coding on SP's part, rather than an Android flaw.

And then there's the other issue, where I just happen to scribble out blog posts when I think of them, rather than with the foresight of doing so in Word. Means that, if I get deep into it and lose it, I might not actually know what it was I was prattling on about. :)

Anyway, do appreciate the feedback, and the thoughts.

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CATHOLICCORGI 3/2/2012 6:52AM

    Hmmm... never thought of writing it in Word, then pasting...but then I am not too PC savvy... LOL!
I was having problems with IE shutting down without warning last week. Then I decided to see if there was a newer version... there was and the problem stopped after I downloaded IE9. Learning experience...
Hope you find something you'd like to do that is gainful employment, but also fulfilling for you, too!
Remembering you in my prayers!
KEEP SPARKING NO MATTER WHAT!!!
emoticon emoticon

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WINNIE1978 3/2/2012 5:18AM

    I hate it when my posts disappear like that... I started typing them up in Word first then pasting them into SP.



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BLUE42DOWN 3/2/2012 3:15AM

    Hehe, I've only once had my blog post eaten. But I have lost enough writings in the past that I tend to always write in a word processor first, such as Open Office Writer, then copy and paste when I'm ready.

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had a great slackeriffic day monday

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Slept in until 9, got out to run a couple of errands that had been hanging about, took an afternoon nap, watched the godfather in the evening, made myself a cheddar. Gorgonzola omelette along with an attempt at baked onion rings. The last of those didn't work out particularly well, as I just dipped the onion rings in egg white prior to rolling them in Italian bread crumbs. Not enough stuck to really get a good crunch going. Was still tasty though, as were the crunchies created by dumping the rest of the crumbs I was using into the remaining egg white and tossing the resulting glop onto the pan.

All in all, today would have been a perfectly great day if it were the weekend, and I won't mind repeating it a couple of times. But I can see it getting boring quickly.

Basketball last Thursday was a good time, until I jammed the same thumb I've been having issues with, not once but twice. The latter incident ended the night prematurely - when I got home, I grabbed a handful of wheat thins to eat, and realized that I wasn't quite able to grasp a cracker between the thumb and pinkie on that hand, as the thumb just didn't want to bend far enough to do that simple trick. It took a couple of days to do so comfortably, and though the thumb is by no means healed (and frankly won't be for a while), I'll probably be back out there this Thursday. Stubbornness, I guess, or an attitude along the lines of "what more damage would I do to it anyway? It's already messed up."

Fortunately, the other aches have largely healed. Added a new one Sunday, though not entirely an unwelcome one, what with the shoulders feeling the aftermath of a couple of miles on the rowing machine at the gym. Found a bit of music that worked well for that, some religious music actually, a nice Christian death metal band called Living Sacrifice. Now, I'm not a Christian myself, but I'm not one to discriminate against a good soundtrack for a workout. I suppose I might have been an odd sight to the women arriving for their class, as I headbanged and silently screamed along to such lovely ditties as "the power of god" and "local vengeance killing" whilst rowing. But y'know, yesterday, I didn't really care. Not that I do usually, but there was a little bit less of a crap given on Sunday. Not entirely sure what that was all about.

  


From ready to roll to rolling over in two and a half depressing hours

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Got home at about 6:30 last night, planning on hitting the gym. Grabbed a glass of milk, a couple of cookies for fuel, and set to a couple of quick tasks I needed to do. By 7, I was done with those, rested, digested, and ready to go to the gym, but...Futurama was on, the Leonardo da Vinci episode, and so I watched that. And somewhere in that half hour, the mojo/motivation/what have you just evaporated. Sitting down, I started feeling the aches I've been dealing with, from the left shoulder that still hurt two days after a tetanus booster shot, to the right hand/wrist on which I jammed my thumb playing basketball two weeks running, and exacerbated by going bowling on the weekend (that one's a real issue, anyway, but not one that would affect use of an elliptical machine). Add to that the ankle that just started paining me Tuesday for no apparent reason, and, oh, the neck and shoulder still not recovered from the previous weekend's headbangings, and all of a sudden it's 8:15 and I still haven't moved.

And I am oh so aware of that fact. And kind of sort of mad about it. But thinking that I have the Wii, and I have the vinyl sweat suit, or as I was told it was called by a smirking coworker, a sauna suit, so I can still get some sweat on at home, right, so I'm not too annoyed with myself at this point. But I am hungry, so I grab some leftover chicken from the night before, and nosh on that, and a few cheez-its, and other snackages that I have because on Monday, I committed the cardinal sin of going to the grocery store while hungry. You see, I had an annual physical on Monday, and since it'd been three years since I'd had an annual physical, I knew that I wanted to get my cholesterol checked, as it's been an issue before, especially the triglycerides. So I starved myself that day to achieve the proper fasting state they needed for that blood test, and by the time the apointment was over, around 3 PM, and I got the blood draw for the test, I was famished. But it was too late to make it worth it to go back to work, a half hour drive away (not really, but close enough, especially seeing as how it's my last week there), so instead I went homeward, and thought I should do some grocery shopping, as the cupboards were getting bare-ish.

The hunger and sales combined to induce purchasing of the cookies and crackers in amounts that might haunt me, with any luck, for a few weeks to come, and with less luck, for just two weeks. But in the latter case, the scale will haunt me, so let's just hope for the former, mmmkay?

Anyway, some of these snackages found their way into the belly, and I thought that I'd had enough, but it was just one of those evenings, where the cravings win out, and a few more wormed their way betwixt the teeth and gums, and then I was pissed off, because I'd just made a meal out of grasshoppers and chocolate chip cookies, and I still hadn't exercised and the tiredness that had been creeping up on me all day because the night before I went to grab something on the other side of the chest high breakfast bar and kind of hurt my ribs, and spent most of the night before tossing and turning and unable to get comfortable because my chest and back were whining, all that caught up to me, and I found myself donning the clothes I sleep in. And I had my phone with me, and so I logged in to sparkpeople to do a bit of bloggy whining, but a couple of sentences in, the browser window shut down, naturally without saving the blog entry and so I just got into bed, pulled the covers over my head and went to sleep. At 9 PM.

I turned the lights off at 4 AM. Was just in a mood just before going to sleep that I couldn't be bothered to get up and walk the 5 feet that it would have taken me to reach the light switch. The impending joblessness was weighing on my mind a bit last night, not sure how much that played a part in it, but it was a slow rolling trainwreck of an evening, and I'm glad I just rolled over and went to sleep instead of fighting it and worrying about not exercising and eating like crap and all that other stuff. Today's a new day, and as it's basketball night, it will feature good exercise (although, with the ankle, hand and back/neck/shoulders aall making their presence felt this morning, I wonder how good), and tomorrow's another day yet, and then there's a fun weekend planned, and then I get to sleep in on Monday, so...

Remains to be seen what the next turn of the wheel will bring, just felt like I needed to spew and bury the one from last night in an unmarked grave.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AHTRAP 2/28/2012 1:30AM

    Yep, the grasshoppers are cookies, Jet. Keebler's version of the girl scouts thin mint cookie, basically. Although, I've been intrigued by the concept of chocolate covered bugs before... :)

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JET150 2/25/2012 11:37PM

    Sounds like you have an awful lot of not particularly great things going on right now. I hope you heal soon, and find a job equally as quickly.
I have to ask - grasshoppers???
Not the green bugs...some kind of cookie, right?

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YOITLE 2/24/2012 2:13AM

    Your blog was a good place to drop all this. Sounds like stress city with the physical, job issues and then body complaints. You're right; it's a new day. Great job of using SP to vent. Hope b-ball was a stress buster.

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SHRINKINGLULU 2/23/2012 1:00PM

    Sorry your night turned out to be a bit of a bummer, and that you're suffering so many aches and pains at the moment, but I'm glad you have a good attitude about it today!!
Have a great time at basketball!

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Title of 7.4% less doom

Friday, February 17, 2012

BOOM! (sorry, just echoing the construction related dynamite blast outside my window...curious if this sort of blasting registers at all on earthquake monitors? Anyone know anybody in the US Geological Services? I mean, anyone who doesn't work with voles?)

So I updated the title on my spark page. Initially, it was just "title of doom", which was really just a placeholder until I could come up with something cleverer (more clever?), but it amused me enough, what with my oh, ever so slightly twisted sense of humor, that it persisted. But now, hovering on the edge of 15 pounds gone (and perhaps really gone, rather than a couple of illusory dips into 18X lb territory), seemed appropriate to alter the title to reflect the new reality.

The next 15 gets me around 15%, a nice piece of symmetry there. I think I might have to make it happen.

Oh, and there's this question that I've posed to my local forum, but might as well get more feedback, since it's quite the dilemma. Next Saturday, the 25th, I'm already obliged to go to a country music concert, and now I've learned that a friend who breakdances will be participating in a battle a few short hours earlier, so I'm thinking I'll go to that, too. The question here is: What the heck does one wear when going to a breakdancing event and then a country concert immediately thereafter??

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WINNIE1978 2/18/2012 9:52PM

    Congrats on the 7.4%!

As for the fashion dilemma... maybe jeans and a hoodie?

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YOITLE 2/18/2012 8:15AM

    probably not spandex

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ASHIKIME 2/18/2012 1:03AM

    Congrats on the mile stone!

As to what to where.. I agree with Blue that there really isn't much dress code, might wear something sparkly... maybe sparkly cowboy boots lol... You could always bring a change of clothes if it really worries you

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BLUE42DOWN 2/17/2012 3:56PM

    Unless things have changed a lot, a breakdancing event doesn't have a dress code. So you could probably get away with whatever is appropriate for the country concert. Cannot help you in the SLIGHTEST on the latter.

emoticon on 7.4% down!

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