Saturday, December 29, 2012
If it were a real blog, I wouldn't be starting it at 11:52 PM, and attempting to see, when I hit Post after midnight, if it posts as a 12/28 entry, or a 12/29 entry. Granted, if it's the latter, it'll also extend my streak to 21 days in a row scribbling out a blog post, a streak I'm glad to have done (assuming it does post to the 29th), but also one that's become a bit of a burden, in that I feel like I really oughta keep going, but sometimes don't really feel like extending, and then when I do decide to scribble, feel like I really oughta type out something worthwhile, rather than just bashing out something piddling for the purpose of streaking along. To credit myself, none of these posts were one liners. But as mentioned/pondered way back in the days when I lived 400 miles away, some items do feel forced, or rather (completely?) uninspired, and I fear that this is one such missive.
So, I think that if I don't really have anything to say, I won't. Maybe blurt a thought onto the community journal thingy I mentioned the other day. Maybe not even stick my head into this site, if I really don't feel like it (although, I think I'm about a week away from breaking my old record streak of at least spinning the wheel). We are all adults here, after all (actually, I don't know that...are there any kids around? I'm sure there are teens who could use the wisdom this site provide, even if they ought not to be obsessing on matters of weight quite yet).
To cop a phrase from some guy named Bill, "To spark or not to spark, is that the question?" But I guess if I put it that way, the answer's a rather unequivocal Yes. So I guess I'll keep on bothering. Just with an option to slack. If I feel like it?
Since I still have a minute or two to kill, I'll prattle on thusly: I'm not really sure what brought about this moment of reflection on the website and how I use it, and what I get from it. I've mentioned, a long time ago, about how I am with certain websites, using them regularly for a time, even a long time, and then suddenly finding myself not caring. I'm not at that point with this site. If anything, judging only by sparkpoint numbers, my usage and interaction with sparkpeople have increased over the past few months. Hoping that results follow early on in the new year. But I am also curious if that point comes, and I suddenly grow annoyed, or worse, bored by SP, whether it'll be accompanied by an abandonment of the things I learned by perusing its pages and participating with its people. It seems like there are a lot of boomerangs amongst our numbers, people who join up, initially succeed in losing weight, then go away from the site, only to come back to it, almost apologetic, professing to have slipped back into old habits, and regained what was lost (in terms of weight/good habits).
Are we doomed to such fates, if we drift awry? Will spirits visit us at some point in a dreary future, reminding us of what might have been? (In case you were wondering, yes, I've begun reading Dickens' "A Christmas Carol", available free at www.literature.org/authors/dickens-c
harles/christmas-carol/ , a very nice website that I just discovered a couple of days ago. I'll certainly be haunting that site extensively, as it contains a decent spread of classic books, for free reading. I think "The Count of Monte Cristo" might be next once I polish off Ebenezer's adventures).
Hey, maybe a fear of something like that occurring might just keep me poling my head around here for a long time to come. Maybe, when I do finally manage to get a flipping job, that might prove detrimental to the health, in terms of limiting time to exercise, even as it would help it in terms of reducing stress. I think, the more I blather on, the more I make the case for staying interested in this site on a long term basis. But for now, I hit post, and see if it registers when I started, or where I ended. I'm betting the 29th.
Edit: I win! the bet, I mean. And now for a cookie to celebrate.
Friday, December 28, 2012
I have not set hard and fast deadlines for any particular bit of weight loss, or exercise goal, other than the fact of moving making me get to the gym more often in order to score the ugly t shirt (which, for the record, works quite well for sleeping in!). I see so many blogs titled "Day XX", pertaining to the days from the start of the overall journey, or of a particular challenge, and I wonder if that's a strategy that I could employ sometimes. But I'm not sure it would work for me.
I really don't know how I'd react if I set such a deadline, and failed to get there. That's part of the reason I have only tried joining in on one challenge while on Spark People. I didn't last more than a week of the month long challenge, finding myself unable to keep up with its modest demands, before I quit that particular spark team. It didn't lead to falling back into bad habits, or anything dramatic like that, but it was a bit disheartening.
Considering jumping in on another such challenge, but really not anticipating any particular success from something like that, beyond what I'd already do without it. Will have to think about that one a bit.
In a similar vein, I'm not someone who sets any particular new year resolutions. I just figure, a) I'd just be setting myself up to fail, and b) I feel like there's nothing particularly special about the New year that demands resolutions must be set then, and at no other time of the year. A St Patrick's Day resolution made under the influence of green beer can be just as valid a motivator as one made under the last vestiges of yuletide cheer.
Thursday, December 27, 2012
Hook up the IV, and say goodbye to sleep. Funny thing, I have the first season on DVD, borrowed seasons 2 and 3 from a friend in Madison, and just never managed to get my hands on season 4. Nor did I manage to return season 3 to her before I left, despite running into her on multiple occasions, and even having the DVDs in the car on a couple of those. Just kind of bizarre. On the way out of town, I left the discs with my roommates, with instructions to return them to one of our good friends, who is also friends with the owner of the dvds. Upon reaching Michigan, I went to my local library and got a card, and the first thing I checked for was the availability of Season 4, only to see the set was checked out until 1/3/13. I convinced my dad to renew a long lapsed library card in a neighboring district where he owns property, so as to be able to borrow disc 1 of season 4, which they just happened to have available at the nearest branch (yeah, I totally checked before heading out there). And so, I watch the first three episodes, and plan to go back to see whether the second disc was returned when a friend posts to facebook the momentous news that the series is available on netflix....PROBLEM SOLVED!
Funny thing with netflix is that I'm a hummingbird watcher, picking and choosing among the offerings, sometimes watching and liking things, but then failing to keep on watching, even if I really really like it. Won't be the case with the West Wing, I'll be mainlining the episodes all the way to the end of season 7. It's my pick for best TV series ever.
So I suspect I'll be losing a bit of sleep over the next few weeks. Then again, I still haven't managed to adjust to eastern time zone in terms of what hour I go to sleep, so I also suspect that it won't be that different. Guess I'm just going to have to pick one day, and just frickin fall asleep, which is sadly a lot harder than it sounds/ought to be. And then maybe, I'll wake up in time and with an appetite for breakfast. And then maybe I'll discover whether there really is any benefit to regular sleep and eating breakfast, like we're told. But first things first, cue up another episode of the West Wing.
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
I already know I'm going to get slammed by violation on tolls blown through during my move here. I have the i-pass transponder the Illinois DOT uses, because over the last ten years I traveled through Illinois, going to, or through Chicago often enough to make it worth having. Although the balance I had in the system dropped under the $10 auto-refresh threshold after my day after Thanksgiving run to Chicago, the e-mail informing me that the credit card I had on file was expired, and it failed to add funds didn't arrive until after I moved,, going through gates worth approximately $6-7 in tolls. I didn't see the e-mail until a couple days further on. I made a good few attempt to get in touch with the IDOT folks, but their customer service phone line is pretty much useless; rather than putting someone on hold if no one is available to take the call, it seems like you're just given a busy signal, and expected to call back or something. Bottom line, here's hoping the violation fees aren't too ludicrous.
That's not necessarily the toll I was speaking of in the title, though, what with the holiday eating getting out of hand over the past week. I did a mid-day weighing today, and saw a number 9 pounds heavier than the last weight I took in Wisconsin, ten days ago. I'm not sweating it, what with a) it coming in the middle of the day, b) after a heavy lunch, c) while I was full of crap (literally), and d) with a few other, less scatological reasons involved. But it's a reminder how easily the weight can go on, as set against the knowledge of how much effort it takes to get rid of.
The fact of the weight loss over the past year gives me a certain level of confidence (tempered, of course by the paranoia mentioned often in this space about how I'm afraid the thinner me is the reality rather than the reality) that whatever portion of that excess is real will be dealt with, once I do join a gym, once the holiday and its more frequent temptations pass, et cetera. But, it's definitely a sobering thought to realize that however imperfect a measure, it's easily possible to change weight, and not for the better, by nearly ten pounds in ten days.
Tuesday, December 25, 2012
If anyone's stalking closely enough, they'll notice that I just dipped my toe into the 'community journal' forum and started a topic with that same name. As I typed there, that seems to be the quick thought, talking to myself version of what I end up rambling on about in a blog post, so maybe that will prove a decent outlet for thoughts I leave out of these blog posts (which, given the way I ramble and have no shame in doing so, might be rare), or maybe that will serve as a jumping point for things I expound upon later in this space. I really don't know how, or frankly, whether I'll use that outlet, but it's there, and it's now live, and...ummm...there seems to be a link to it on my sparkpage, which is fortuitous because otherwise it might be difficult for me to get to, if I didn't use it a couple of days and it got buried and I got annoyed that it was difficult for me to get to, so I didn't go to it, and it disappeared into the ether for an extended time...
Come to think of it, that was somewhat how this blog space was for me before I made a deliberate effort to use it over these last few weeks.
Title song link, it's by the band Porcupine Tree. "Arriving somewhere, but not here" is a great phrase for being in the midst of a journey that you haven't reached the end of yet. Might not exactly be what the song is about (I've always thought of it in terms of a drunk driving incident, but maybe because I was living in Wisconsin?), but the title can definitely be expanded to refer to anything you need it to be.
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