Friday, December 21, 2012
it's 12/21/12, or 21/12/12 if you prefer, either way, there a 21 and a 12 juxtaposed, and an excuse, not that I ever need one, to listen to my favorite band, Rush. Of course, I spun the album 2112, then went on to other albums of their, eventually landing on Snakes & Arrows. As has been the case recently, I'm starting to find connections/parallels to the journey we're trying to take here, the one leading to better health, better habits, in songs that I previously hadn't seen in that light.
The lightbulb this time went on over the track "We Hold On", as heard here on Youtube:
Copying and pasting the entire lyrics on here because Neil Peart's words really do speak to what we're trying to do here. I mean, we've all come to at least one point where we've thought about just giving up, and managed to get through, managed to stick to that calorie goal, or exercise goal we were pursuing. Whether it's a favorite food you were able to successfully withstand, or a roadblock in life that didn't derail you from the path you're pursuing, this song speaks to it, and in doing so speaks volumes. That last stanza, especially, is money..."How many times do we wonder if it's even worth it? There's got to be some other way to get me through these day....BUT WE HOLD ON"
This song hasn't been part of my arsenal in trying to stay on the high diet and exercise road, but you can bet it'll be in my head the next time I get to one of those crossroads.
Lyrics to "We Hold On" by Rush, track 13 on their Snakes & Arrows album.
How many times
do we tire of all the little battles?
--threaten to call it quits;
tempted to cut and run?
How many time
do we weather out the stormy evenings?
--long to slam the door
drive away into the setting sun?
Keep going until dawn.
How many times must another line be drawn?
We could be down and gone,
but we hold on.
How many times
do we chafe against the repitition?
--straining against a fate
measured out in coffee breaks?
How many times
do we swallow our ambitions?
--long to give up the same old way ;
find another road to take?
Keep holding on so long
'cause there's a chance
that we might not be so wrong.
We could be down and gone,
but we hold on.
How many times
do we wonder if it's even worth it?
There's got to be some other way
to get me through these days.
--but we hold on.
Thursday, December 20, 2012
Oh man, did I ever get sucked into a neon green trap last night. I tried to beat it off with a fanged steel weapon, but the more blows I struck, the thicker the enemy became, until I was forced, under duress, to trap it in the Cave of Ice. And even then, I wasn't safe, for as I listened to the sage wisdom of one Mr. Stephen Colbert, the siren song rang out from within the cave, drawing me back to battle with it once more. The second encounter did not go well, and by its conclusion, mere moments later, I found myself forced to ingest the vile potion...wait, what am I saying? I found myself eagerly sucking down the delicious pistachio pudding, and feeling virtuous for leaving half of it behind for another conquest tomorrow.
This entry's title was suggested by the Queen album, "The Game", which I was listening to earlier, and has as its second song a track called "Dragon Attack" ( www.youtube.com/watch?v=GnJqZkY67JI ). The disc starts off with the erstwhile title track, "Play the Game," which also seems applicable to the journey we're on, what with the CONSTANT VIGILENCE! (sorry, Mad Eye Moody moment) we sometimes feel like we need in order to keep the scale moving in the right direction. There's far too many people on Spark People that we've interacted with for a few months, and then seem to have disappeared off the face of the website, leaving us to sing the third track on the album, "Another One Bites the Dust," albeit hopefully without the bullets ripping to the sound of the beat. And since it'd just get weird if I continued on to the 4th song ("Need Your Loving Tonight"), I'll just leave off the analogies there.
I'd leave off entirely, except it must be noted that I've spent an exceedingly lazy day, much of it spent within arm's reach of resistance bands, and have failed to do anything with them, or any other form of anything remotely resembling exercise. Starting to think that the home exercise program envisioned previously in this space might just be a pipe dream, and that joining of a gym might be necessary. Then again, it's been only two days of sloth, so that declaration might be a tad premature, especially in light of the continued unpacking going on. Maybe if I keep yapping, I'll just talk myself into something.
But first, to sleep, perchance to dream of a crazy little thing called love (track 5 on The Game, dontcha know?)
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
Drove 60 miles to see The Hobbit with friends, and as I returned towards the home base, I took a bit of a detour to see what remained and what had changed since last I lived in the area.
Among the things I noticed were a bunch of fast food-ish joints that I might want to check out. I noticed, again, that at the back end of my neighborhood, there's a 24 hour restaurant, which could possibly be bad news, even though I've never felt particularly compelled to visit on all the occasions I've been back to visit since that place opened. I drove by Dom Bakery, which has its drive through open 24 hours, and was a place I'd visit occasionally back in the day. Within walking distance are 4 pizza places and 8 Asian (mostly Chinese) food places. There's a Planet Fitness location within walking distance (not that I'm seeing very good things about that place on line), hiding behind a subway, one of those Chinese places, a Big Boy restaurant, and another food joint of unknown provenance.
Doesn't necessarily mean that I'll be visiting all these places, just that as I drove the hour back in a slightly hungry mood, I was hyperaware of the food stuffs that were out there, in a way that I haven't been in a while. Perhaps that was because, back in Madison, I was driving routes I knew well, with restaurants that were visually familiar, and therefore not as stimulating? Don't know if that theory holds water given the fact that I moved within Madison 4 months previous, to an area that I rarely drove through before living there. But it's a working theory that I haven't been able to shoot down entirely in the hour and change since the brain cooked it up.
I borrowed this entry's title from the Dream Theater song, "The Mirror." It's a track about addiction, probably alcohol, as the band's former drummer later penned a number of songs constituting a 12 step cycle, recounting his own recovery. Some of the lyrics could easily be applied to how a lot of us are about food, as seen in the opening verses below. I mean, just think about all those things floating around, especially at this holiday season...
Why won't you leave me alone ?
Lurking every corner-
Everywhere I go
Don't turn your back on me now
When I need you the most
Constant pressure tests my will
My will or my won't
My self control escapes from me still
The song on youtube: www.youtube.com/watch?v=KU8q8Be2H38
Lyrics on songmeanings dot net www.songmeanings.net/songs/view/7659
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
Four days until nothing happens! Oh my goodness, I can wait!
Yesterday was Monday. Even though Monday as a concept somewhat loses its power to annoy when it doesn't equal a return to a workplace after a two day respite from the drudgery, there was something especially nondescript about this Monday. Unpacked a truck, boxes everywhere, nap. Day went by, and then it's Tuesday, and I'm wide awake at 3 AM because my brain still claims it's 2 AM and I'm a night owl so the brain goes PBBBBBT! at the clock.
I've eaten like crap the last couple of days, and it might continue over the next while, what with possibly catching up to folks I haven't seen in a long time. And I'm on the verge of not caring. I've figured out where a few exercise-y items were packed, and I thought about messing around with them, but felt no desire to do so. Granted, the moving thing has given me a few hours worth of exercise over the past couple of days, and my back and forearms kinda hurt...but after getting that ugly t-shirt, that drive that kept me going to the gym 3-4 times a weeks, far more than I've ever gone to the gym in a concentrated time frame, that drive seems to have evaporated.
Yeah, yeah, circumstances exist...but I feel weirdly ambivalent about the fact that it's been 4 days since I've done anything resembling 'traditional' exercise. As with my questions from last night's blog, is the key here that I don't care much, or that I do care enough to make note of that equivocation, or even that I'm having such thoughts after only FOUR days, where in the past, I've probably managed a stretch or two of four weeks without exercise and not batted an eyelash over it? Guess two out of three arguably positive ways of looking at it ain't bad.
Speaking of ugly t shirts, I had to give it a fist bump:
The bland award goes to its cheap cotton feel, and the utterly underwhelming front of the shirt:
Don't ask me where it is now, I couldn't answer beyond, "It's in one of these boxes around here." It has served its purpose well.
(PS: I'm highly amused these are oriented sideways, since that's the way they originally were, before I saved them in the upright position prior to uploading them. May now have to experiment with posting pictures in blog posts, just because.)
Monday, December 17, 2012
Or maybe it was the McDonalds for breakfast, KFC for lunch and chinese food at dinner? At least the scale wasn't as mean as the last time I came to Michigan for a visit, where I managed to gain 7 pounds from driving 8 hours, WITHOUT stopping for fast food, or having eaten any such meal before. Go figure, eh?
Maybe it was the packing of the truck with a significant portion of my worldly possessions that shielded me against any such repeat performance. Haven't a clue.
One might think that sleeping for about 4 hours, then doing that packing (with significant help, mind you), then driving for 6.5 hours, and it being 6 hours further on, all that would combine to make me tired. One would be wrong. I'm as perplexed as you, since I started yawning pretty much as soon as I drove into Illinois, and that was 13 hours ago. I must be riding a kamikaze of a second wind or something.
The final Wisconsin weigh in, at 7 AM, December 16th, 2012, registered at 178.6 lbs. I really do not know what I weighed in August of 2003, when I left Michigan under cover of darkness (well, not really, but the day before I left, a massive blackout hit the northeast quarter of the United States, leaving tens of millions without power). The earliest specific weight I recall is derived from a ski lift receipt I listed my weight as 165 lbs on 2/13/04.
So, what, then, is the reality? Up 13.6 pounds from the start-ish of my time in Wisconsin? Or down 26.8 lbs from when I got to "holy crap something has to change" in September 2011? Bit of both, I guess, right? I've mentioned the fear of backsliding in this space before, and even seeing those numbers, and seeing that objectively, I'm twice as far away from the 'worst' as I am from the more favorable end of the range, it still feels as though the opposite is true. But that's something I just need to be cognizant of, guard against, what have you. Just tossing it out there for future me to look back at, and laugh at, or cry about which direction I've taken from there.
Curious where that road leads. Heard a song today, that I've heard many a time over the past 15 months while on this journey, "Cryptogenic Desires" by Leprous, and there was a line in there about "The past is forgotten, the future's where we spend the rest of our lives". I don't really agree with that, as I'm more of a "past is prologue" guy myself, but it was certainly interesting that I noticed that particular line, blazing out of such familiar music, while leaving my recent past behind. The way it goes, sometimes.
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