Monday, January 10, 2011
A lot has happened since I last logged onto the site... I read my last blog entry, written on Dec. 20th 2009 and I was talking about my grandmother's declining health... The day after I wrote that entry, she passed of stomach cancer. Life surely hasn't been the same since. I went to Haiti to attend her funeral, and on the day before I was scheduled to come back home (Montreal), I ended up surviving the devastating earthquake on Jan. 12th 2010... Since then, I have dealt with post-traumatic stress/shock, emotional eating, anxiety attacks, nightmares...etc. Wait! Have I mentioned that life hasn't been the same? On the bright side, I graduated from University of Ottawa with a Bachelor of Sciences in Nursing, I've developed a closer and healthier relationship with God, I've embraced real friendships, real love, and family... I've traveled. I got a hair cut! I've joined Curves and quit after a month (it just wasn't for me, but worth a try) and then joined another gym near my house that meets my needs, especially with their Zumba classes.... Im doing my best, however, I am certainly not looking the part. I know I have to do better. I know I can do better. I'm glad to be back here. Looking forward to getting all of the support and resources I can get out of this wonderful community!
Happy New Year to All!
Sunday, December 20, 2009
My emotions are still all over the place...I guess nowadays my emotions all depend on the day my grandma had...So today she had an ok day, so I had an ok day. Nutrition wise, I totally skipped on lunch...I had a filling breakfast (I added some chopped walnuts to my big bowl of oatmeal) and had some eggs, plus my breakfast was late in the day, so when lunch time rolled around, I was still full...But I had 2 servings of this pasta I made yesterday at dinner time. recipes.sparkpeople.com/recipe-detai
l.asp?recipe=454313 It kinda made up for skipped lunch, but it also made me realize that by skipping lunch, my energy level reached a low by mid-day, so I took a 2.5 hr nap...
After my dinner, I studied for my Health Research class, and then put on my Wii Fitness Coach game and did lower body exercise for 30 mins...I'm still sore from my workout 2 days ago, but I put in the effort and I felt great doing it...There are worst things in life than feeling sore after a workout. Plus, I'm trying to be "Ms. New Booty" by summertime when I go on my cruise to Turks and Caicos! LOL
Friday, December 18, 2009
So yesterday, I was so motivated, did my exercising, had a great day, great meals, etc...This morning I woke up a bit sore, but still, I took the stairs all day long at work today (wearing 4 inch heels boots too!) and despite the soreness, I refused to even look at the elevator...I had good intentions when I got home, I wanted to exercise like I did yesterday w/ my Wii Fitness coach, but then just decided to relax...Now I feel bad for not sticking with my plan. This week was a rough week for me, mainly emotionally, and my emotions are all over the place...One day I'm happy, and the next day I'm sad and feeling lonely. I don't think that anyone can really understand how I feel right now. My favorite person in the world, my grandma, was diagnosed with advanced stomach cancer and she is declining fast...Although my closest friends and family members offer encouraging words and prayers, I don't feel like I'm being understood...I am hurting so much inside, it just saddens me beyond belief, but I am trying my best to stay strong. Talking to her soothes me and hurts me at the same time...Yesterday was a good day, today, not so much. I am just trying to stay motivated, keep my game face on...I've accompanied so many families and patients through end of life, and serious illnesses, but when it's my own family it's completely different...Nothing can prepare me effectively, nothing can make things "ok", and I feel like nothing brings peace of mind...I cannot wait to see her, but I can't bear the thought that this may possibly be a trip to say goodbye...I leave everything in God's hands...I believe that through him all things are possible...
I have a rough week ahead, a final exam in my health care research class, a trip to New Jersey, and then DC to catch my flight to go see her ...I am praying for continued strength and motivation...
Thursday, December 17, 2009
So today I decided to take myself a bit more seriously. Here I am, motivating everyone around me to stay active, make better food choices, etc...I have been eating better and I've been making small changes in my activity level, namely by taking the stairs at work and walking to the grocery store instead of driving. Today, as I was sitting on my couch, watching TV, I was like "Ok there's nothing interesting on TV and it is -30 degrees (celsius) outside, what should I do??" I had had lunch 2 hrs prior and was not hungry. I have a final exam next week, but not in the mood to study. I decided to dust off my Wii Fitness coach game and do a 30 min cardio workout. The first thing my virtual coach told me was "I see you have had a little bit of trouble keeping up with our workout plans and YOUR commitment to YOURSELF!" My first reaction was "Don't sass me you virtual coach! I can turn you off right now!" But instead I reacted differently...The words "commitment to yourself" are the words that stuck in my mind. I know that this game is designed to motivate you and make u take responsibility for your actions (or in my case my inaction ) so I was somewhat embarrassed and taken aback at first, but then I turned my embarrassment into motivation...I did 30 mins of cardio and I did not stop, I slowed down when I started to get tired instead of stopping, and 15 mins of yoga...and I feel absolutely great...I will do it again tomorrow! Only I can stop me, and right now, stopping is just not an option!
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
I'm really determined to lose the weight I gained over the summer period...while I am trying my best to lose the weight the healthy way, I just feel like there are just so many obstacles thrown my way...I will be able to overcome everything, and achieve all of my goals...I really want to be beautiful and prepare myself for the big changes to come in my life...I want to be his beautiful, healthy wife, the beautiful healthy mother of his children, but more importantly I want to be a beautiful, healthy me for me...I'm happy he decided to join as well...I am determined to help us get better together in our present, while our beautiful future awaits.
Granny, you are in my thoughts, I love you and I will continue to pray for you, always.
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