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AHHDEEKTIV1's Recent Blog Entries

I have to do better...

Monday, January 10, 2011

A lot has happened since I last logged onto the site... I read my last blog entry, written on Dec. 20th 2009 and I was talking about my grandmother's declining health... The day after I wrote that entry, she passed of stomach cancer. Life surely hasn't been the same since. I went to Haiti to attend her funeral, and on the day before I was scheduled to come back home (Montreal), I ended up surviving the devastating earthquake on Jan. 12th 2010... Since then, I have dealt with post-traumatic stress/shock, emotional eating, anxiety attacks, nightmares...etc. Wait! Have I mentioned that life hasn't been the same? On the bright side, I graduated from University of Ottawa with a Bachelor of Sciences in Nursing, I've developed a closer and healthier relationship with God, I've embraced real friendships, real love, and family... I've traveled. I got a hair cut! I've joined Curves and quit after a month (it just wasn't for me, but worth a try) and then joined another gym near my house that meets my needs, especially with their Zumba classes.... Im doing my best, however, I am certainly not looking the part. I know I have to do better. I know I can do better. I'm glad to be back here. Looking forward to getting all of the support and resources I can get out of this wonderful community!
Happy New Year to All! emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GLORILEE 1/10/2011 4:29PM

    First of I will like to say my condolences to you for your Grandmother passing. emoticon Yes, I was raise in Puerto Rico and they told me about the earthquake, it was shocking to hear. emoticon About you being stress and emotional eating is understandable. emoticon Congrats on graduating! emoticon emoticon I understand able not liking curves and going to another gym that have dancing incorporated in the gym..i love dancing. You need to stop putting yourself down you are closer now than you was when you started in the beginning. Just because things happen is no reason to see it like a failure you think about a minor set back. remember to try to exercise 3-4 times a day and drink plenty or water. KEEP UP THE GREAT JOB AND IF YOU NEED SOME HELP I AM HERE FOR YOU. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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BLACK-PRINCESS 1/10/2011 7:07AM

    I'm sorry for all that has happened to you. Just trust in the Lord & He'll direct you.
Keep your head up & just take it a day at a time & don't worry about tomorrow or the past. When you workout focus on how much stress it's relieving.


Comment edited on: 1/10/2011 7:08:13 AM

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Riding an emotional roller coaster

Sunday, December 20, 2009

My emotions are still all over the place...I guess nowadays my emotions all depend on the day my grandma had...So today she had an ok day, so I had an ok day. Nutrition wise, I totally skipped on lunch...I had a filling breakfast (I added some chopped walnuts to my big bowl of oatmeal) and had some eggs, plus my breakfast was late in the day, so when lunch time rolled around, I was still full...But I had 2 servings of this pasta I made yesterday at dinner time. recipes.sparkpeople.com/recipe-detai
It kinda made up for skipped lunch, but it also made me realize that by skipping lunch, my energy level reached a low emoticon by mid-day, so I took a 2.5 hr nap...
After my dinner, I studied for my Health Research class, and then put on my Wii Fitness Coach game and did lower body exercise for 30 mins...I'm still sore from my workout 2 days ago, but I put in the effort and I felt great doing it...There are worst things in life than feeling sore after a workout. Plus, I'm trying to be "Ms. New Booty" by summertime when I go on my cruise to Turks and Caicos! LOL emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PRETTYPITHY 12/21/2009 1:21PM

    Oooh, Turks and Caicos! That's what I'm talking about. You will be on Ms. New Booty status, I guarantee. Just stick with it!

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Feeling kinda blue...and sore!

Friday, December 18, 2009

So yesterday, I was so motivated, did my exercising, had a great day, great meals, etc...This morning I woke up a bit sore, but still, I took the stairs all day long at work today (wearing 4 inch heels boots too!) and despite the soreness, I refused to even look at the elevator...I had good intentions when I got home, I wanted to exercise like I did yesterday w/ my Wii Fitness coach, but then just decided to relax...Now I feel bad for not sticking with my plan. This week was a rough week for me, mainly emotionally, and my emotions are all over the place...One day I'm happy, and the next day I'm sad and feeling lonely. I don't think that anyone can really understand how I feel right now. My favorite person in the world, my grandma, was diagnosed with advanced stomach cancer and she is declining fast...Although my closest friends and family members offer encouraging words and prayers, I don't feel like I'm being understood...I am hurting so much inside, it just saddens me beyond belief, but I am trying my best to stay strong. Talking to her soothes me and hurts me at the same time...Yesterday was a good day, today, not so much. I am just trying to stay motivated, keep my game face on...I've accompanied so many families and patients through end of life, and serious illnesses, but when it's my own family it's completely different...Nothing can prepare me effectively, nothing can make things "ok", and I feel like nothing brings peace of mind...I cannot wait to see her, but I can't bear the thought that this may possibly be a trip to say goodbye...I leave everything in God's hands...I believe that through him all things are possible...
I have a rough week ahead, a final exam in my health care research class, a trip to New Jersey, and then DC to catch my flight to go see her emoticon ...I am praying for continued strength and motivation...

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PRETTYPITHY 12/21/2009 1:20PM

    I am so sorry to hear about your grandmother. My thoughts are with you and your family. You said it best--there is little comfort that I can offer you. But please know that I am proud of you for your commitment to your health even in these trying times. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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KEYTA165 12/21/2009 1:17PM

    I will be praying for you. Praying that you find peace and rest. God has your grandmother in his hands and he has you also. God Bless you Merry Christmas. emoticon

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Working on my fitness

Thursday, December 17, 2009

So today I decided to take myself a bit more seriously. Here I am, motivating everyone around me to stay active, make better food choices, etc...I have been eating better and I've been making small changes in my activity level, namely by taking the stairs at work and walking to the grocery store instead of driving. Today, as I was sitting on my couch, watching TV, I was like "Ok there's nothing interesting on TV and it is -30 degrees (celsius) outside, what should I do??" I had had lunch 2 hrs prior and was not hungry. I have a final exam next week, but not in the mood to study. I decided to dust off my Wii Fitness coach game and do a 30 min cardio workout. The first thing my virtual coach told me was "I see you have had a little bit of trouble keeping up with our workout plans and YOUR commitment to YOURSELF!" My first reaction was "Don't sass me you virtual coach! I can turn you off right now!" But instead I reacted differently...The words "commitment to yourself" are the words that stuck in my mind. I know that this game is designed to motivate you and make u take responsibility for your actions (or in my case my inaction ) so I was somewhat embarrassed and taken aback at first, but then I turned my embarrassment into motivation...I did 30 mins of cardio and I did not stop, I slowed down when I started to get tired instead of stopping, and 15 mins of yoga...and I feel absolutely great...I will do it again tomorrow! Only I can stop me, and right now, stopping is just not an option!
Let's go! emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ISLANDGIRL2201 12/17/2009 7:36PM

  This was a very good and motivation-filled bog. I enjoyed reading it. I didn't know the wii fit had a virtual coach who would say such things. I think I would have had the same initial reaction as you. But, you were right to check yourself and realize the mistake was yours. That way, it became a blessing - a source of motivation that jerked you out of complacency. Truth be told, we all need that at times. I hear you, sista. Your experience is a benefit to many...

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Tuesday, December 15, 2009

I'm really determined to lose the weight I gained over the summer period...while I am trying my best to lose the weight the healthy way, I just feel like there are just so many obstacles thrown my way...I will be able to overcome everything, and achieve all of my goals...I really want to be beautiful and prepare myself for the big changes to come in my life...I want to be his beautiful, healthy wife, the beautiful healthy mother of his children, but more importantly I want to be a beautiful, healthy me for me...I'm happy he decided to join as well...I am determined to help us get better together in our present, while our beautiful future awaits.

Granny, you are in my thoughts, I love you and I will continue to pray for you, always. emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KEETAK 12/15/2009 12:44AM

    One day at a time, you CAN do this! Welcome to Spark!

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CUKIEMUNSTER 12/15/2009 12:25AM

    Welcome to SP! Good luck on your journey to a healthier you!

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SLIMMERJESSE 12/15/2009 12:24AM

    Welcome to SP. Best wishes for success.

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MAYLINGSNW 12/15/2009 12:17AM

    welcome to spark and you'll find the support you need...

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