Saturday, January 01, 2011
So I changed my introduction on my page today to this:
I am doing this so that I can be here for my two gorgeous boys!
My kids are my life, and I want to live to be with them! Everything I do is with their best interests at heart! So, I want to be here and I need to be healthy in order to do that!
After losing 49 pounds between October 2006 and November 2007 and being my smallest in years, I have officially gained back every thing I lost and then some! I am so very disappointed with myself and those who looked up to me when I had great weight-loss.
Today is 1/1/11 and this is the year for permanent change! I have to change my starting weight to be realistic. I'm more than the 188 I had on here now with all my weight gain. It's a big slap in the face and I'm ready to do this!
I even changed my ticker to the mountain and the icon to the person running. These symbolize the mountain I have to climb to reach my goal not only of weight-loss but in life.
To quote Miley Cyrus "There's always gonna be another mountain. I'm always gonna want to make it move. Always gonna be an uphill battle. Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose. Ain't about how fast I get there. Ain't about what's waiting on the other side. It's the climb."
I know it may be a little tacky but it sure is a song that makes me cry every time. Life is hard but so long as we keep trying, we are climbing!
I love you all!"
This change was more for me than for those who read my page. Life has been super difficult this past year but today is not only a new day but a new year and once more chance to get it right. So long as I keep going and never quit, I know I am ok.
I love all the friends and family I have. Those I have met and those online who I have never met in person. I wish all of you the most prosperous, healthy, and happy year of all. I know we can do it! The fact that we are all still here, even if only every once in a while, is proof that we have not given up and that anything is possible. I have been working on my journey for 4 years now and although I am starting again heavier than the first time, I know that I can never get "comfortable" and never forget that every piece of food I put in my mouth is a conscious decision. "Will this help or hurt my efforts?" If it hurts them, then it doesn't go in my mouth. Special occasions are not about the food, they are about the ones you are sharing it with. Remember that (talking to myself) and things will be good!
Vow to get in some sort of exercise every day. It doesn't matter if it's heavy cleaning, walking up and down the stairs or "real" exercise. I MUST be able to say that I did SOMETHING every day! If not, it was a wasted day. Exercise clears the mind and I need that more than anything!
I love you all and I truly hope you have a great year! Most of all I have to love me and GIVE myself the best year ever! I deserve it too!
Sunday, February 21, 2010
So, I had this team called Sparkin' Losers! and it started off great! Now I am down to 3 people besides myself who post and even they haven't been that active lately. I feel so bad that I let things fall apart. What a horrible team leader! I have no idea how to get everyone back either! I don't know if I should open it up to the public to see if we get new people but I've done that before and got no one. I'm just sad that things got like this. I had some people on there that I miss dearly! Maybe some day they will come back!
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Not sure what my problem is. I've been battling this weight for almost 3 years now. Within my first year I had lost 49 pounds. Never quite hit that 50 pounds and now I'm back up to a pound more than where I started! I know what to do. Eat right and exercise. So why won't I? I will sit here and cry that I just can't do this anymore, and do it while I'm eating something I know I shouldn't be, or watching tv instead of exercising. Is it lack of motivation? Is it lack of determination? I want this, thought I wanted it bad enough but can't get my head screwed on again.
I love my workout games for the Wii (the EA Active, the Gold's Gym Cardio Boxing, and more) and I love how I feel why I do them, so why don't I just shut up and do them? I did the first 30 day challenge on the EA Active (on easy) and loved it! It actually got to where it was too easy. So I started it again on Medium. Did 3 days and that was it! There was a lot of running exercises and I am soooo not a runner! I can't breathe and therefore, I just stopped doing it. I don't want to go back to easy because it was too easy. So there's part of my problem, when things get hard (just the running, the rest of the exercises I can do), I quit. Seriously need to work on that!
I am still paying for my gym membership (only $10 a month but still) and I haven't gone since like February or something. Maybe not that long ago but obviously I don't remember the last time I went. Why? Because I don't want to go alone! I need someone to help me get through and make sure I push myself!
I'm unemployed (well, finally back to work but only 10 hours per week), I'm in school full time (although all online so I sit and do nothing for hours), I'm trying to get a candy business up and running and getting orders out and things ready for craft show season where I make the bulk of my money, court issues with the little one's father, a single parent with a teenager and a toddler, and a million other reasons I can give as to the stress I deal with. I realize they are all just excuses. So how do I finally smack myself to get back in shape and lose this weight. I think I fall in the morbidly obese category (for my height and weight 5'3" and 189 pounds), and I know I need to be down to under 141 to be just at the top of the normal BMI range. My goal is 120 pounds. I've done this before so why can't I seem to do it again?
Sorry, was just hoping putting it in writing would help me get back to action.....still don't feel any better though :-( Just more depressed and mad at myself. Yup, feel like a loser and not the kind I want to be! lol Want to be a weight-loser! *sigh* I know I am the only one who can do this. Just wish I had someone to do it with. Obviously I'm not good at doing it on my own!
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
...that I didn't die from exercise! You would have thought I would seeing that I haven't really done "real" exercise in forever. I have been walking every day but with a 3 year old!
So today we went for a 70 minute walk....
Also did 35 minutes on my Wii Fit (doing the step and hula games)
ALSO did 15 minutes of cardio on my Wii Fitness Coach!!!
2 hours in today!!! And I"m still alive and waiting for little man to wake up so that I can get him back outside for another walk.
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