Friday, August 15, 2014
I have started my weight loss journey over and over again and have never reached my final goal. Today was another start. Meals planned, groceries purchased, food logged, etc. Normally the white-knuckles would start right about now. I did this all today, but can I keep it up tomorrow?
But in order to be successful I must shift my thinking from the all-or-nothing. This journey isn't about doing everything well every single day and losing 80 pounds in less than a year. This is about learning to give a crap about myself more today than I did yesterday. It's about learning who I am, getting back to my own soul, and learning to manage life's ups and downs more effectively.
Yes I have started again, but rather than thinking about is as a restart, I'm thinking about it as one log continuous journey. Today I'm more focused on my journey than I have been. It's not that I've failed over and over. It's that I've learned over and over and continue to unfold.
Monday, August 05, 2013
So, my family is hitting the road on Wednesday for a week-long trip back home to NM. I am a bit stressed about the trip for many reasons. First, we are traveling with our 9 month old. It is timed to his naptime and I'm hoping he'll fall asleep on the flight. Any tips for what to pack to keep him entertained are VERY welcome! Luckily the flight is just under 3 hours..not super long. I just picture a screaming baby, passengers rolling their eyes, sweat dripping down my husband's face, me a mangled mess of frizzy hair and tears. I'm probably being very dramatic about this!
Another reason I'm anxious about spending a week away from home is that my husband and I have been very dedicated to our 90 day home workout programs and our diet of clean, whole foods. For the most part. I don't want to lose momentum with my fitness or nutrition. We are taking our DVDs and resistance band with us and will get as many workouts in as we can. I just don't want to lose focus and give in.."well, I might as well get the burger and fries because I'm on "vacation". " Yeah, that is not the mode of thought I want to adopt!
So, I'm trying to go into this next week with confidence and focus! Any tips or words of encouragement are so appreciated :)
Thursday, July 25, 2013
So, I'm powering through a 90 day program. (more of my journey is on fb.com/coachwhitehouse). There was that little part of me last night that was saying.."ugh..I miss the days when I was lazy instead of working out every night..." and I got to thinking about WHY am I doing this? Why am I mentally pushing myself harder than ever before? What is making me get through sweaty, high intensity workouts day after day? What is making me get farther than I ever have in any program I've tried before?
I'm taking a moment to articulate WHY. I'm 36 years old and a new mom. I've been overweight for as long as I can remember and it became an "issue" for me around age 11. That is when I start being self-conscious and pretty much beating myself up on a regular basis, then binge eating to feel better. I got good at hiding snacks..Cheetos under my bed, eating full meals after school BEFORE my mom was home and made dinner (I always did my dishes and covered my tracks). I was living in a house where I was told "we can't buy ice cream or have treats because you'll eat them all." I was made to feel ashamed and as though there was something wrong with me that wasn't wrong with my mom or sister. They both have never dealt with a weight problem.
I continued to try things all through my teens..workout videos, eating programs, Slim-Fast..and through it all was the voice in my head saying, "If you could just be fixed and normal, you wouldn't be like this.." so I was searching for that magical product that would fix me.
My 20s came and I joined Weight Watchers. I had some success and lost 24 pounds before my wedding..and gained it all back. I've now been over 200 lbs. for close to 10 years. I've done a lot..a LOT of work to heal past wounds and grow emotionally and I'm in a better place. I haven't been a binge eater for almost 1 1/2 years. What has changed? Getting in touch with my emotions, healing things, getting to know myself and reading many different books and going to counseling. Learning that the food won't heal anything and learning how to sit and be with how I'm feeling rather than eating it away.
Then my son came last November. I knew that I didn't want to be the same person I've been for him. I knew I didn't want to be a repeat of my own emotionally-detached mom. I wanted to be vibrant, alive, happy, and energetic for him. I was at my highest weight after he was born..about 235. Some of it came off naturally, but I got stuck at 220. Then, I was introduced to a home workout program that I love and I started eating really cleanly..no fast food or processed stuff..or mostly none. I am not counting calories or logging my food..mainly because of lack of time, but because I'm learning to regard food as fuel and eat mindfully. I end up getting distracted from that when I log everything and start looking at numbers. Basically I eat when I'm hungry and I think carefully about what my body wants. I've naturally turned to really healthy foods and recipes and my sugar cravings are reduced. My workout program is 90 days and it's all laid out for me, so I'm taking that one day at a time and momentum has been building to where I don't want to miss my workout! But I have a long way to go and learning to care about myself more is a journey that I'm at the beginning of..I've never had much self-esteem. But I'm determined to grow it.
I am a work in progress, but becoming a better mom for my son and learning to love myself and celebrate myself is where I am at. That is WHY I do this each day..why I get my workouts done, why I spend time planning great food for my family, and why I work on healing the inside. It's for him. And me.
Wednesday, July 24, 2013
Think about the balance of fitness, family, work, your own fun, like the tires of a car. You want to keep them all full! It's so hard! Well, I didn't plan well today and my workout went out the window..but one tire that has been flat has been my fun tire. I filled it today with time outside with my hilarious 8 month old son who thought the greatest thing today was the tupperware of water he got to splash his hands in, and a great dinner with good friends who I love to see and don't get to see enough now that I'm a new mom. The fitness tire went a little flat, but that will be filled up tomorrow! By the way..it's a dream of mine to own a classic muscle car!
Follow my journey..fb.com/whitehousehealth
Friday, July 19, 2013
So I was sitting on my bed with my laptop paying bills and I realized that my thigh is looking much more toned! I've been working on my 90 day workout program and am almost done with the first 30 days. I grabbed my measuring tape and realized I'm down an inch on each thigh! YES! So excited because the scale does not tell me things like this!
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