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Getting Back On Track!

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

I know I have been MIA for awhile, and to be completely honest, I pretty much stopped doing everything and just kinda receded within myself. I gained back most of the weight I had lost :( but I am proud to say not all of it. I managed to keep 10 lbs away. So I am now weighing back in at 206.4 :( Totally bummed, and I can feel it and see it on my body.

BUT the good news is, I am getting back on track. I tracked what I ate today and have discovered just how EVIL soda is! I gave up pop years ago and recently started drinking it for the caffeine! I know I shouldn't use caffeine either but I have 12.5 hours of class on Tuesdays with a half hour for lunch and that's it. I need to find another way. But I have been relying on caffeine all semester and I think its taking a major toll on my body.

My Puppy also came to live with me in August!! So glad to have my buddy with me! He makes me walk everyday! Plus Max makes the walks a lot more enjoyable!!

This time around I plan to do things a little differently. I am really going to focus on strength work. Mostly endurance training, for those long lean sexy muscles!!! woot woot!

I am confident that this time around things are going to be different. You ask how? Because this time around I am going to focus on what I can do to help myself instead of what I can't have or what I have to restrict. I am going to focus on adding fruits and veggies instead of cutting out the carbs. I am going to focus on adding more and more exercises in different fun forms instead of tracking every minute on the treadmill or elliptical. Don't get me wrong I love the treadmill and elliptical I am going to use all the knowledge I gained the first time around, but instead I am going to be more forgiving with myself and really focus on all the healthy things I am doing right instead of the negative behaviors I wish to get rid of. I feel like by focusing on the negative things I want to go away, I actually make them bigger and end up putting more energy into what i do NOT want. So I decided to focus on the positive.

I AM GOING TO BE THE CHANGE I WANT TO SEE!!!!

E.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MIRACLELOVE77 10/16/2011 4:12AM

    HEY GIRL HEYYYYYYY
SO GLAD YOU'RE BACK!!! YOU CAN DO IT, I KNOW YOU CAN!!!

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BADASSBLONDIE 10/12/2011 11:31AM

    "I am going to use all the knowledge I gained the first time around, but instead I am going to be more forgiving with myself and really focus on all the healthy things I am doing right instead of the negative behaviors I wish to get rid of. " This is exactly that attitude that has worked for me. YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!

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ANKARIA 10/11/2011 11:38PM

    I'm in a similar situation as you- I was away for about a month and a half and went backwards lbs-wise, and I'm pretty much the same exact weight as you. Let's be supportive and positive for each other. You can do it!

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MAGGIEROSEBOWL 10/11/2011 11:29PM

    You are very wise to focus on what you can do and not what you can't. From now on, I'm going to look forward to everything I can eat every day, and not worry about all the fattening stuff I can't have anymore. I'm going to appreciate being able to walk for miles at a time and have the energy to bound up the stairs at work and at home. I'm going to worry less about what I've given up and enjoy more what I've gained.

Good luck. And the best part is, you get to enter ONE-derland again!!!

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Good Riddance!

Monday, June 13, 2011

I am officially single...this time for good!
My car broke down, but the mechanics can't figure out whats wrong
my refrigerator stopped working and the little food I had is now spoiled!
today has been a day from hell!

But I did swim for 35 minutes
trying to stay positive when the world is crashing down around me.
It can only go up from here....well minus my weight, cuz I would like it to keep going down!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ASKILLMAN 6/17/2011 10:36PM

    Hoping your week has gotten better since this blog. Great job with the swimming, and you will be able to keep that number on the scale going down.

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TEENY_BIKINI 6/16/2011 9:59AM

    You go girl!

You are fabulous and all that. Rock this life!

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KARIRDH3 6/14/2011 9:35PM

    But you still have an awesome attitude -- keep it up! You are AWESOME.

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BADASSBLONDIE 6/14/2011 11:50AM

    WTG on still rocking out a workout after such a crazy day. *hugs*

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ELAINEROSE5 6/14/2011 8:10AM

    Dang girl sounds like it can only go up from here! Take care of yourself. you're worth it!!

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ANEPANALIPTI 6/14/2011 7:01AM

    YES IT WILL STAY DOWN! emoticon

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MIRACLELOVE77 6/13/2011 10:44PM

    Aw man...I'm sorry! That is a hard day...and those are tough problems to deal with all at once!! Good for you for swimming for 35 minutes, good for you for doing something for yourself, good for you for burning off that frustration in a healthy way, good for you for losing 25+ pounds!!! You're doing SO WELL, so KEEP THAT POSITIVE ATTITUDE because you can make it through anything!! Don't let the tough times bring you down--let them make you stronger :)

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week 23 weigh in

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Starting weight: 216.0

Goal Weight: 135

Last Week's Weight: 195.4

This Week's weight: 188.8

This week's loss: - 6.7

Total Weight Lost: -27.2

Weight Left to Loose: 53.8

Current BMI: 28.08 (OVERWEIGHT)

Goal BMI: 20.0 ( NORMAL)

I can't remember the last time I was in the 180's!!! I am so proud of myself right now! I had a HUGE loss this week! I think its because I am finally off Doctors orders and back to my swimming workouts! Also I think it has to do with my water consumption! I read an article that talked about how much water you actually need to keep your body hydrated and for me it was WAY more than 8 cups a day!

In order to figure out how much water YOU need you take your body weight ( in lbs) and divide by 2 this gives you the number of ounces of water you need per day. If you take that number and divide by 8 ounces per cup this gives you the number of cups of water you need per day to stay hydrated. Here are my calculations for example:

188.8 lbs / 2 = 94.4 ounces of water I need per day

94.4 ounces of water / 8 ounces per cup = 11.8 cups of water per day

So I should be drinking almost 12 cups a day!

Once I increased my water consumption it helped keep my appetite at bay and the lbs started coming off consistently! I am very proud of myself and all my hard work this morning! Spark has helped me so much! all of my spark friends are fabulous! and I don't know what I do with out you guys! thanks again for the support and encouragement! you all are so wonderful!

E.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HEALTHYNCURVY 7/28/2011 4:26PM

    Amazing! I logged on to see how youve been doing and I am blown away with your progress! 180s congrats!

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ASKILLMAN 6/19/2011 9:49PM

    Holy moly on the weight loss! emoticon

Thanks for the water tip. I realize I tend to drink around 10-12 cups a day, but I will do the calculation to figure out exactly what I should be consuming.

Keep up the awesome work! emoticon

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KARIRDH3 6/13/2011 9:10PM

    emoticon SOO happy things are going so well for you! WOOHOO! Pass some of that on to me -- in the 180s is FABULOUS!! Keep it up, you ROCK! emoticon

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MIRACLELOVE77 6/11/2011 2:39PM

    CONGRATULATIONS1!!!!!!! I'M SO PROUD OF YOU!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

That's AMAZING!! Way to jump right back in!!! :) Your weight loss this week is definitely inspiration/motivating for me! so thanks! :)

Haha and I'm glad we're around the same size so I didn't have to do any calculations for that water stuff! LOL

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ANEWCARI 6/11/2011 11:43AM

    GREAT JOB!!! Looks like we are the same weight with similar goals!!! We can do it!!!

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ANEPANALIPTI 6/11/2011 10:20AM

    WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

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epiphany

Sunday, June 05, 2011

I've been thinking about myself a lot lately, and all the things I want to accomplish in my life. I have been thinking about my problems and how to solve them, but my biggest frustration with myself is my habit of focusing on the negative. I am working on changing that. I am working on putting effort into me rather than into everyone else. I have to take care of me. I working on seeing the glass half full and seeing the bright side in things. Even things that seem to be terrible sometimes have happy endings.

I'm not sure why this is suddenly dawning on me now, but I needed to be alone. I needed to figure things out. I needed to explore myself. I needed to learn things about myself that I was unaware I didn't know.

It feels great to be exploring myself and my own interests and what I want with out having to sacrifice it for the wants or needs of others. I didn't realize that I was sacrificing my own happiness for the sake of others! DUMB I know....I feel enlightened! and honestly that makes me feel a little lighter also :)

E.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BADASSBLONDIE 6/8/2011 2:40PM

    I'm glad you had this epiphany. *hugshard* It took me forever to realize how important self care is. *hugs*

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KARIRDH3 6/7/2011 9:26PM

    That sounds GREAT! It is always a good thing to get to understand yourself better. I think that nothing bad can come from it -- only positive! I am happy for you!

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MIRACLELOVE77 6/6/2011 12:19AM

    that's wonderful :) it's like they always say on those airplane safety videos about the oxygen masks--you first have to help yourself in order to help someone else! it sounds so counter-intuitive, but it makes total sense.

I also heard a motivational speaker say--your glass is half empty if you're the one being filled, but it's half full if you're the one doing the filling :) it's all about perspective.

and every day we can choose to be happy :) how exciting to be in a place of self discovery :) can't wait to hear more about it!

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PRETTYBLUE85 6/5/2011 6:50PM

    I completely agree with sunsposmama. She said everything I would have wanted to say, but better.

I am glad you are realizing this earlier rather than latter. A lot of people don't get understand it so early in life. Enjoy yourself and don't worry so much about others and you will be happier than you ever though possible.

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SUNSPOTSMAMA 6/5/2011 6:24PM

    You are learning that to take care of others, you first have to take care of yourself. I don't believe you were "Dumb". We live in a culture that asks women to sacrifice so much for the well being of others, so you were just "programmed" that way. When you are healthy and happy it benefits not only you, but everyone else in your life. I'm happy for you!

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Why is this so hard?

Wednesday, June 01, 2011

I have been having a terrible week! I am not motivated, I have been experiencing this panic feeling every time I try to leave my apartment. Even when it was just going home, to visit family I have this feeling like I am stuck here. In this place, like I cant leave. I think its almost a fear. (irrational obviously). But I can't seem to muster the courage to do a workout, or call friends and make plans. I don't have the energy to do anything. I don't even feel like myself. I won't even go to walmart (the only grocery store int his podunk town) Instead I have been sitting inside feeling anxious and miserable. In fact the only time I am at peace with myself at all is when I am sleeping. I have been going to bed early and sleeping late. I love to read and I can't even seem to get into my books. Even my favorite authors, and subjects just fail to capture my attention.

I want to be positive, I want to feel good about myself, and yet everywhere I go, everything I see I compare myself to, as if I am behind because I have nothing to show for my hard work. As If I am a lesser person because I am fat, or because I didn't finish college in 4 years ( like you are supposed to!) I don't know why I feel obligated to compare myself to others. I don't know why it matters, and yet I continue to do it. In fact I even compare myself to MYSELF...a former version of myself.

I don't understand why I beat myself up. I am so tired or feeling tired and shameful about who I am ...Maybe its because I am not proud of who I am. I don't see accomplishments, I only see things that need improvements. I know this is something I need to work on, because it is seriously holding me back, only I don't know how to let it go. I don't want to do medicine. I have tried different things before, I don't like them, I don't want them. I want it to be natural. That is why I love exercising so much. it is the best anti-depressant I have ever tried, and I recommend it to everyone I know. But lately, I can't even seem to make myself do it. I lost confidence in myself. I have nothing to do so I feel like a nothing!

Keeping my chin up, hoping for better days.

E.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HEALTHYNCURVY 6/2/2011 1:20PM

    Hey, everything will get better, maybe not today, not tomorrow, but someday soon you WILL find your happiness! Ive felt like this before, right before my spark break. I was just putting so much pressure on myself, I wanted so badly to lose weight, but was so overwhelmed by the idea that I didnt want to work on it AT ALL.

At least you realize that your fear of leaving is irrational. What is it that is keeping you in your house? Maybe if you can pin point that, it'll be easier to overcome it.

I think you and I follow a very similar college path, its going to take me 5 1/2 years to finish college! Its frustrating, but unless youve got a simple degree, like business (maybe) then its going to take more than 4. I dont know anybody who has graduated in less time than that, unless they are killing themselves over 18 cred. hours. You are smart and also a great organizer, so I dont think you've been wasting time, you are progressing!

And finally, I know youre a broke student right now, but take a shopping trip and buy something that make you feel as beautiful as you are. New eye shadow, sexy panties, a shimmery necklace, earrings, anything that will help you feel better. Or at least thats what I like to do, it gives me time to focus on me. What would make me feel better? or What is making me feel so sad, self-conscious, lonely, etc.

I hope that you figure it out, take some time to focus on yourself. You deserve it and you deserve to be happy, feel beautiful, and have fun. emoticon

Good Luck! emoticon

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BADASSBLONDIE 6/1/2011 2:16PM

    *hugshard* I've been there. You CAN push past it b/c you are AMAZING and you'll see that someday. *hugshard* In the meantime, pure stubbornness of forcing yourself to stop the negative self talk, to replace it with positive self talk (literally out loud) seems silly at first but really does help. *hugshard*

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BEFIT_WITHGUSTO 6/1/2011 12:54PM

    I am so sorry!! I want to reach through the computer and give you a big hug! Please stop comparing yourself to others and to your former self, you know that is not healthy! You are not a lesser person than anyone else! Do you have a therapist you could talk to?

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THATBRONWYNGIRL 6/1/2011 12:46PM

    Hey.
Don't give up.

I've been exactly there, and felt exactly this. I, myself, am still in college (I graduated from high school in 2006, and am 22 years old now). And I struggle constantly with feeling worthless and overwhelmed...by my weight, by my social obligations...
Don't let people get you down...especially when it comes to school. It's actually becoming less and less common for people to graduate in 4 years! And either way, the time we need is the time we need. That's that!

As far as weight goes--I found it helpful to do a workout routine in my room, where I didn't have to worry about anyone watching me jiggle... emoticon
Stay active, keep those endorphines going...and stay positive. You will get through this! It will be okay, stay strong!

And by the way--you are not nothing. You are never nothing. You will never be nothing. Everything you do effects the world, even if it's in a small way. Just look at right now--you sure changed the course of MY day! emoticon

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