Thursday, January 31, 2013
FB reminds me how Thankful I am to have Spark. Just like spark, I only have a few friends; so no I am not one that has tons of people that I don't even know. Actually I don't even think I have 100 friends.
I was just on there and it is surprising how many people can PRAISE God & then turn around and blast someone. Have they really never read the bible. Mark 7 tells us..
He said to them, “Hear Me, everyone, and understand: There is nothing that enters a man from outside which can defile him; but the things which come out of him, those are the things that defile a man. If anyone has ears to hear, let him hear!”
So my question is, "How can you praise God with the same mouth that defiles man?"
As much damage, disease and sadness that has been going around lately How can people still not see the truth. If you want to live like the devil, it's your choice but don't be a hypocrite. Our kids are looking up to so many false prophets. Lord PLEASE help open our eyes and seek YOU!
I know there might be some on spark as well, but I feel VERY fortune that I have ONLY met wonderful people here. I have truly been blessed by so many of you. You make coming on spark a REAL JOY!
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
We are suppose to write a letter to ourselves. I have done this before and it can get very emotional. I was going to do this in a notebook, FOR MY EYES ONLY but if I do this here, it will HELP keep me accountable. I am finally getting back on track slowly but surely.
One thing I would like to tell my future self is ALWAYS be proud of yourself no matter what or where you are. That is one of your biggest issues. You are not happy with the success you have done, then you begin to gain the weight back. Let others become MORE IMPORTANT than yourself & then you happen to look back through pictures and say, "WOW, I had lost a lot! I did look a lot happier!"
So what happens, you get discouraged, get distracted and then a few pounds turn into months and a lot of pounds. You had not been under 200 pounds since having your girls. Do you realize you got down to 184 pounds and thought , "Wow, I've got a long way to go!" Next time & YES there is ALWAYS going to be a NEXT TIME!! Look at How great you are doing, NOT How far you still have to go! Look at this picture....
Wouldn't you say, "YOU are having a blast!?" You were finally in the pictures!
Now look where you were BEFORE that....
Smiling but are you comfortable...Becky of January 2013 says, "NO!!" That smile was a cover because the camera was pointing at you!
Now let's see what has happened over the few years here at spark...
First year you went from 238 lbs. to 190 (I, Becky of Jan. 2013 would say, "YOU GO GIRL!"
Second year, not over the top but still any lose is GREAT! You weighed in at 184 pounds. That is great, you know it is not going to come off as good the smaller you get. You should have been happy but you were not. Well you know what, "I AM PROUD of you!"
OK the end of the second and all of the third year, you let others come between you and your happiness. Your emotions ruled that year and it showed. Self-denial didn't help either...a few pounds no big deal. It was a big deal. You knew it would continue but you thought you could do this alone. You were pulling back from your wonderful friends on spark. They want to help but YOU didn't allow it and now let's look at a few pictures...
Not a bad pic. but you know you were back in the 190's and trying to hide those extra pounds. Let's keep looking...
You are starting to hide from the cameras again...it's getting harder to find you in the albums. Really look at yourself, you can do this. You know you don't mind exercising so get back to the basic everything you feel yourself slipping. Do 10 minutes, take a walk, walk with Leslie or do one of those spark videos. Don't just sit there and say, "I'll do it later, get up now!"
As for your food, you know you are not a big eater. Yes you do eat the wrong stuff but you need to eat. When you let those emotions rule, you stop eating then when you do, it's not food, it's junk. Seriously you know better so take those few extra minutes to think before it goes in your mouth.
Remember the Becky of January 2013 is inside you. I am proud of you! Even though you have slipped, look where you are. You are CE Director of Living Stones church of God, You have went back to school and got your substitute license, you have ran a house (NOT always easy) for over 20 years, made sure the bills are paid, the kids are clean, they have MORE than they will ever need, you have 2 beautiful daughters and you will KICK this weight thing as well!
Monday, December 17, 2012
For everyone that knows me, knows that I'm NOT big on blogging but I just wanted to say to everyone out there. You are NOT ALONE!! No matter how you feel or how bad it gets someone is there, someone LOVES YOU!!
I have found this season is reminding us of HOW Grateful we should be for all we have & for everyone we have. I am truly THANKFUL but I'm finding it SO HARD to smile these days. I know some people think, WHY?? If you are so thankful how can you NOT SMILE? My heart is breaking for so many others out there & no matter how happy I am it is so hard when you are heart broken! I look at my family and cry; not out of sadness but out of love. We have had some issues around here that I never would wish on anyone. I hurt for so many others, my daughter watching as she finds out about a classmate SHOT down. People say, "he was in the wrong place at the wrong time". Then Friday
I don't like having to explain to my kids. What happened to kids dealing with teen problems like 'who's my boyfriend this week' or 'what am I going to wear?' I can't stop crying & I don't want to go back to where I was last year. I tend to shut down but like my last blog said, "I refuse!" I refuse to go back, I refuse to stop living, I refuse to put my kids in a bubble (no matter HOW BAD I WOULD LIKE TO). We will continue to live! We are waiting for that glorious day when the LORD comes back for us but until then I will find my smile. I will let HIS LIGHT shine through me NO MATTER How hard it is.
One FOOT in front of the other. I WILL DO THIS!
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