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finding the key

Thursday, February 09, 2012

ok, so I have been giving it a good effort, this business of getting ride of weight I have regained (25 lbs.) over the last 2 years. I am back to weight lifting and cardio, after about a 6 month hiatus. I say "good effort" because, nothing is changing physically, or on he scale. I have been crab-cycling for the last 2.5 weeks, and NOTHING is changing. So, I came back onto spark for something other than logging food and workouts. I came back for a visit to the social part. I found a sparker who has lost an amazing amount of weight and has since had a baby and got right back to where she was, she's lost 80 pounds I think. Anyway, she was/is very inspiring. I went to the very beginning of her blog and read how she did it. How did she even start. I realized I need to really up my carido, by 2-3 x's of what I am doing now (20-30, sometimes 40 min) along with my weight training. Once I do that, I know I will see changes. Its snowy, icy and cold, in the 30's here, so I will have to be creative, w/o joining a club. The inspirational sparker I was reading was doing cardio in the am, a full hour and another in the evening. I don't think I can do that with my family, maybe if I lived alone or something, I don't know, maybe I'll give it some thought. This brings up a question, how do you shower or wash your hair on days with "daily doubles"----just take 2 showers? Won't that dry out your hair and skin? I know that may seem trivial, but its something I wonder baout, living in the north, my skin and hair are already dry enough, you know? Anyway, I feel good about tomorrow. i feel like I just found the key I was looking for, even though its an obvious, "duh" kind of thing. I am worth it. I am worth putting myself first again and making the time needed to get in these longer workouts that are going to be necessary to make changes. okay, bring it!


Secretts of a former fat girl, book review

Wednesday, February 01, 2012

Book Review:

A bit of a different blog this evening. I just finished q real quick read of "Secrets of a Former Fat Girl, how to drop two, four (or more) dress sizes--and find yourself along the way" by, Lisa Delaney. Of course the title of the book caught my eye among the many, many, many books on diet and nutrition in our county library.

That's me, Former Fat Girl. I was curious, did this Lisa Delaney know what I know? Does she know something I don't? So, I brought it home.

It was a quick read. I skimmed parts, probably the last few chapters. The book is laid out in chapters that are each a "secret" she's giving us. The first was: forget dieting. Yes, we've been hearing this over and over, especially if you're part of the clean eating movement. Forget dieting, its not about dieting, its a life style change, blah, blah.....yes, THEY are right, its not a quick fix diet you should focus on, but a Life Style change. BUT, Delaney's twist on this sage advice, is don't even think about dieting. Don't. Just go about your days eating the way you always have, what she wants you to change is your activity level. Not sure that's the best advice, BUT its what worked for her and that's what the book is about. You know what else? If I think about it, that's kind of how I started too. I started my journey by training to walk a marathon. Delaney started by going to jazzersize. I did gradually change my eating too. I began to think of food as fuel for my long training walks. I can still, to this day, remember the very day I walked seven miles. I felt invincible. Delaney eventually added jogging. She has memories of what it felt like to run a mile for the first time, the confidence that built up in her was the driving force to keep going, to keep pushing. (she lost nearly 40 pounds just by running--she eventually gave up jazzersize and increased her running to 5 miles a night--over a year or so. She went from a size 16 to an 8, and continued to eat what she wanted.) As a note, she is 5ft 4in.

The next chapter was one of the biggest things in my own journey. In fact I couldn't believe I was reading someone else's experience that so matched mine. She said to keep it a secret. Keep your plan to lose, your plan to increase workouts etc, secret. That's exactly what I did. I didn't tell anyone what I was doing, except for my husband. I secretly headed out on my journey to freedom from weight each day without the recommended walking/workout buddy. This is a benefit for many reasons. You don't have to worry about matching your pace, speeding up, slowing down to accommodate a partner. You don't have the added stress of wondering if they are in better shape than you and therefor can't keep up a running conversation as easily as your buddy and then they must know just how sorry of shape you are in because you huff and puff up that hill, while they just breeze on up. You can put your tunes in your ears and just go. Keeping it a secret that you are heading into uncharted waters for your self and your health also means you won't have all those helpful people offering advice, asked for or not. You know. This flies in the face of the "experts" advice too. One of the first things you are told is get a support system set up. This probably does work for most, but not me. Then you run the risk of disappointing them--not just yourself, but others. Other people add a lot of stress with real or imagined super high unrealistic expectations. It also keeps the focus on me. I am doing this for me, not for my support system. For me. I am accountable to no one but me. So there! I did delight in seeing people's reactions to my dwindling size, and more so that I did it by myself. No "plan" no points, no pills, no surgeries. I did it.

Delaney's third chapter is about INO. Its Not an Option. This is to be your mantra when you need it: when you're tempted by foods, to skip a workout etc. You just get this mindset that its not an option. My personal one was, "I am worth it." I was worth the time the long walks were taking. Lets face it, a 3 hour walk is hard to fit into your schedule regularly for training, as a mother of three home schoolers, seasonal caterer etc. I was worth the "special" foods in the shopping cart, the ones that were just for Mama, and no I was not sharing. I was/am worth it. So are you!

The next chapter was a bit of "fluff" for me. It didn't pertain to me, nor mirror my story. She wants you to "see yourself thin." Bah. I have a mirror, I go clothes shopping, I know where I am. More importantly, I know where I am going! I felt such pride, such joy when I drove across "the Long Bridge" into town, which is about a mile long and there are always people running, walking, biking across it, I was becoming one of them. I wanted to roll down my window and shout that I too am taking control of my health! I too was doing something good for my body! I too was actually taking responsibility for my actions and getting healthy and strong! I am one of you!!!

The next secret is "You are not like other people." This one is still something I struggle with. I want to eat what others eat and look like them. How come "Shelly" can eat burritos for dinner and have a slice of pie and still be a size 6? How come "Jenny" can have spaghetti and garlic bread and still rock a little black dress? Grrr! How come I am not like them? Because my Creator saw fit to make me unique. I am not like them. My body needs pure, whole foods, with less saturated fat, less empty calories etc, etc, to be running smooth and strong. My body is different than theirs, than yours. A favorite quote I read along my journey is "Losing weight is an experiment if one." What works for someone is not guaranteed to work for me. There are basics that we have in common, obviously, but the variables are so great. DNA, lifestyle, family history, body chemistry on and on. The whole point is, even if you don't see some dramatic change in the first couple of weeks, you must know in your head, in your heart, that no matter what the outside looks like, you KNOW that inside your blood is pumping, your digestion tract is thanking you, your cells are running more efficient than ever before. You are doing good for your body. It will eventually all fall into place, I promise.

Finally, Delaney wants you to protect yourself from the "pushers" and her last chapter is about being comfortable in the uncomfortable zone. Personally, I didn't have much to deal with when it comes to the "pushers." She became a vegetarian and her family couldn't understand it and they "pushed" her to just have a little bit, just a bite etc. By keeping the whole thing secret to begin with you avoid the "pushers." In my case, the "pushers" were simply not a part of my life. Guess I lucked out there. Now, the business about being comfortable while in an uncomfortable zone....the gym was my hurdle. I baby-stepped my way there. I started with my half marathon training, eventually added Curves to my weeks and once I fulfilled my year's contractual obligation, and having lost 100 pounds, I found the confidence to join a "real" gym. I bet the first 2 months I did the same thing: elliptical and treadmills. I was too chicken to try the weight machines, although they were my ultimate goal. (I didn't want to look dumb trying to figure them out) I began buying magazines and devouring them and eventually started lifting with the free weights, then finally, I started the machines. I've never looked back. Weightlifting is my favorite thing to do. I really don't like cardio much, unless its a rocking dance aerobic class! Or being on my mountain bike and making it up hills that 10 years ago I thought you would be insane to think I could make it up! I thrive off of challenges like that.

So, in a nutshell, that was the book. If you're ready for some, "been there, done that" kind of inspiration give it a look see.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BEACHGIRL1205 2/2/2012 2:21PM

    Thanks for posting your reveiw. I bought this book a few years ago but never read it. I'm needing some motivation right now so I'm going to pull the book out and give it a read!!
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Friday, January 27, 2012

Has it really been close to a year since I posted??? ugh. Proof is in the pudding. I haven't been in "control" of my life for about 6 months I bet. Control for me means staying active, lifting weights, controlling my body. Life seriously got in the way. The 2 oldest kids who we have homeschooled their entire lives began public school (10th and 8th graders) son had his ACL replaced with a cadaver ligament, which has involved physical therapy 3 days a week, too many catering events to list, you know, LIFE. I have gained nearly 25 pounds. damn it. Well, the past 3 weeks I have been trying baby steps, to change that. Small changes again, walking again, being more aware of what I put in my mouth, the last 2 weeks I added a Jackie Warner DVD to the mix. and you know what? NO change on the scale. grrr. I keep telling myself that no matter what the scale says, I know I am doing something good for my body, for my health. So there you have it. I feel almost as f I am at square one, but reality says, Hello: I have only 25 to lose, 120. HUGE difference. This re-awakening also meant that I finally got out into the garage to make some room for my weights again. Since hubby came home from elk camp, he just dumped everything right in the middle of the garage and its just been getting worse and worse. He kept saying he was going to take care of it, but its been MONTHS. I figured enough with the convenient excuses for me to not work out. I bit the bullet this Tuesday and spent 2 hours cleaning up. I still can't park in there (hopefully this weekend He'll get his stuff put away) BUT I have a good space--1/2 the garage cleared and organized and I get to work with my weights. I did venture out there for the first time today and I feel GOOD! I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE lifting weights! WAY more than dvds in the living room. I have a bench, an olympic bar, and curl bar and 300 lbs of weights for them, plus a "step." I put my music on, turned on the heater (its was in the 20's) and got my sweat on. Yes, I am MUCH weaker than I was probably this time a year ago, but hey, I got out there, I lifted, I got sweaty and I know that in 2 or 3 weeks, I'll be stronger. WAHOO! Here's to re-awakenings and new beginnings and taking control back!

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OUTDOORGIRL69 1/27/2012 8:11PM


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LORIAPO 1/27/2012 5:13PM

Congratulations, for not waiting any longer and getting back on your healthy way of living and eating!
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Friday, March 11, 2011

Posted on March 12, 2011 by wannebechef

Time for a confession. Today I DID feel hungry all day. I knew I would because of weight lifting yesterday. I did not eat very well….even after spending an insane amount on groceries this week, I am still lacking quick, go-to lunch stuff. Anyway, I wasn’t too worried about it, UNTIL:

We went to town.

My girls and I went to dance class, which was a let-down. It was a Zumba class, but its not taught well, and we didn’t even break a sweat. (This was probably a blessing though as I am pretty sore form yesterday.) Also, we had gone to the grocery store to grab a can of refried beans for tonight and we were all hungry, so we whizzed through the bakery and each of us snagged a chocolate chip cookie from the sampler. So, I tried VERY hard to fight that inner voice today. I am sad to say It won out in the car, still in the parking lot of the grocery store. I could NOT believe I had just eaten that cookie. ugh. BUT I realized what I was doing and vowed to forget about it and move on. Its a stupid cookie for Pete’s sake…Look what is happening on the news, there are far more important things for me to “worry” or fret over. BUT, then I went to that dumb class. The lights were on (our other class they turn the lights off and we have rope lighting around the mirrors, makes it fun, dance-club-like.) So the stupid florescents were on and I could see my soft belly with its bulges and that DID NOT help my frame of mind, especially when there were some cute little high-schoolers in front of me in their sports bras and shaking their thangs. Those lights give off terrible shadows from above that seem to enhance my tummy. GRR.

We had some burritos tonight, changed the menu plan a bit, and I am trying not to stress about food, my weight, my measurements etc. I will not allow food control me. I am not a failure because I ate focaccia and a cookie today, for crying out loud! I need to gather my perspective again. Funny how easy I slip into this mode. I was even considering joining weight watchers on line…..what happened to my “eat when hungry and stop when full” way of life??? Well, I am re-claiming it right now! Will you stand with me, lend me your shoulder once in a while when I need that extra support?Your listening ear helps too. Just purging my brain and getting those thoughts out is big. Sometimes I hate how complicated food is in my life. Bah!

Thank you.


I found a great website with an awesome message. Its Operation Beautiful. Would those of you reading the blog support all of us women by participating in this? Its very simple. Grab a sticky note/post it pad and keep it in your purse. EVERY time you are in a public bathroom you leave a post it note on the mirror that is encouraging. Things like: “Smile it looks pretty on you.” Or, “You are perfect just the way you are.” visit the site listed below.

and browse through it. Its fantastic. You never know who you may affect, whose day was in the gutter, then they saw that note. I am going to do it. I hope some of you do it. I NEED to see some of these, I need to be told these things out loud, from someone other than my kids and my husband. My parents ruined that part of me. I am fighting like crazy to get it back. Please give this an effort. I would love to see how we can change the world!

PS, the burritos were good, I only had one. :) I am going to sparkpeople to log it all in and see the real numbers. It usually helps me get some real perspective again. Back to cooking tomorrow.

Blessings to all the women with broken hearts, poor body image, poor self worth. You ARE loved. You ARE worthy! —of your best efforts. You are stronger than you know.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HINCTYBEAT 8/29/2011 7:49PM

    operation beautiful sounds awesome. I'm going to start working on my college campus this way on the sly :) emoticon emoticon

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    I am also here to cheer you on! You can do it!

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HERE2GETFIT 3/12/2011 2:09AM

    I am here to emoticon you on!

Give you a kick in the butt if you need it! emoticon

Listen to your dreams or your fears

Whatever you need ..... emoticon

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Did I eat it? yep. A lot? yep. Do I regret it? nope.

Wednesday, March 09, 2011

So, did I eat some? Yep. Did I eat a lot? Yep. Am I going to regret it?
Posted on March 10, 2011 by wannebechef

I don’t even know where to begin. Tonight’s dinner was absolutely out of this world. It all came about like this:

Today was shopping day; for my lesson plan cooking, which means a fairly extensive shopping day. My daughters and I went shopping AFTER our cardio dance class at the gym this morning. By the time we were done, we were all pooped. The receipt measured a good 3 ft long; it didn’t take long for the events in Libya to affect us here at home, did it? Aye, aye, aye. Usually for dinner I plan for a take and bake pizza on these big shopping days. After seeing the total on the bottom of that receipt I decided to close the ol’ wallet and “make do.” This is what makes learning all these cooking skills fun and worth while. I am in the mood to experiment (or out of necessity) and the family is getting used to trying new flavors. The girls and I arrived home and my son helped us unload bag after bag after bag. I think they can pack A LOT more into those “green” bags, which makes them HEAVY. We had a neighbor show up as we were unloading and so we visited for a while. Then before I knew it, I had the groceries just put away and it was time to leave again for piano lessons. This plan of having pizza at home was beginning to look doubtful. I was picturing a yeast dough, having to rise until doubled etc…we’d be eating dinner by 10pm. I got home at 4:30pm, and took a shower, finally….yes, it has been a long day. Then dressed in comfy flannel bottoms and big ol’ t-shirt, I thummed through my text book for a pizza dough recipe. I found it and it was only a 30 min. rest period for it. Yay! this is do-able. Here is that AMAZINGLY easy, tasty, chewy, fragrant, lovely recipe,

Pizza dough, a la Cooking School:

Yield: 1 lg, or 8 individual pizzas

active dry yeast. 1 TBSP

Water, warm, 2 fl. oz

bread flour, 14 oz

water, cool, 6 fl oz

salt 1 tsp

Olive oil 2 TBSP

honey 1 TBSP

stir the yeast into the warm water to dissolve. Add the flour. Stir in the remaining ingredients into the flour mixture. Knead with a dough hook or by hand until smooth and elastic, 5 min. Place the dough in a lightly oiled bowl and cover. Allow to ferment in a warm place for 30 min. Punch down the dough and divide into portions. The dough may be wrapped and refrigerated for up to 2 days. On a lighthly floured surface roll dough into very thin rounds and top as desired. bake at 400F until crisp and golden brown, 8-12 min.

Tip: if it keeps wanting to pull back into a smaller shape as you try to roll it out, let it “rest” for 5-10 min. and then try to roll it again. It should lay out fine. The gluten will rest and let you roll it.

I decided to make pizza with whatever I could find at home in the fridge. I didn’t want to use anything I had just bought, because I worked hard and carefully on that plan.

completely amazing and easy pizza at home

makes my mouth water just looking at it

I made a BBQ chicken pizza and a pepperoni, smoked sun dried tomato, roasted red pepper and nicoise olive one. BOTH were A-M-A-Z-I-N-G. I know, I keep saying that about some of these recipes. I have made pizza many times before, with home made yeast doughs even, but NONE have been this easy and this good. I am excited to try it with garlic minced and kneaded into the dough, maybe mixing it up with whole wheat flour….the possibilities are endless.

So, did I eat some? Yep. Did I eat a lot? Yep (4 pieces-2 of each kind) am I going to regret it? No. Will I let that inner, negative, voice tell me what a loser I am and how I failed myself and no wonder I am fat? Nope. That pizza was good. I worked out. Heck I even did “herkey” jumps which I haven’t done since cheer-leading in high school. 4 sets (8 reps ea.) of the darn things too! I amazed myself today. It wasn’t that long ago that I would not have even attempted that. I walked out of that class feeling 10 ft. tall. So, I had 4 pieces of pizza. Big deal. Will I do that for every meal? no. Will I make good-for-me choices as best I can? yep. Am I fat?? Nope. Hallelujah! Not one shred of guilt here! Something is starting to click. Things are changing from the inside out. Thank you Father, for I could not do this on my own. I hope you all are beginning to travel down this path with me. We women are amazing.

In case you are interested on upcoming meals here’s the plan:

3-9-11 piano and pay day, pizza…see, it was in the plan:)

3-10-11 grilled portabella on focaccia, winter white salad

*make french bread

3-11-11 deep fried codfish fillets, oven fries and green salad

3-12-11 4-h day, tortellini w/ butternut and broccoli sauce

3-13-11 chicken w/ 40 cloves garlic, french bread croutons, roasted fall vegetables

*soak beans

3-14-11 Horse leaders mtgs, black bean soup

3-15-11 Bible study and scout mtg, salad nicoise

*take out burger

3-16-11 piano lesson, burrito with black bean spread

*soak chick peas

3-17-11 falafel, german style potato salad

*take out chicken

3-18-11 Roman style free range chicken, safron vegetable risotto

3-19-11 cake 4-h mtg, BBQ beef sandwiches, oven fries and veggies

3-20-11 split pea soup and grilled cheese

3-21-11 marinated loin of venison roasted with mustard

3-23-11 bible study, chicken cacciatore

so as you can see, I am venturing into the vegetarian chapter of the book a little bit. This should be interesting. My oldest daughter looked at those giant portabella mushrooms and timidly, wincingly asked what they were for. Needless to say she’s not that excited to try ‘em out. I am.

Love yourself today. Give your heart a workout, help it get strong. Drink water. Eat protein. Eat whole grains. Don’t diet. Don’t skip meals. Don’t give up on you.

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending. ” – Maria Robinson

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PTREINER 3/10/2011 1:07PM

  Great upbeat blog - you're inspiring. I've been experimenting with recipes a bit lately, too, (trying to clean out the cupboards, lol!) and I recently enjoyed fennel-crusted tilapia on a bed of white beans, fennel, onions and green peppers, all ingredients I had on hand. Such fun to try out new flavors and food combinations using the SP focus on increasing veggies and fruit and fiber in your diet. And nope, I'm not dieting, just eating the right portions for the size I wannabe. Thanks for the peptalk - love the ending quote!

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