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Taking stock of my well being

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Feeling pretty good about my workouts lately, I'm feeling stronger, and while I'm struggling with temptations and cravings more these days I'm still losing just more slowly. I'm enjoying how certain clothing is fitting and going out more often. of course there's more to come and I'm excited about that to.

Recently gone a few dates with a nice man who seems to like me a lot, and I had to tell him I couldn't make a commitment. I just don't know what I want out of my life yet and I don't want to feel trapped into something because I might just change my mind in a few months. So maybe dating isn't a great plan right now.

I think I really need to focus on self discovery right now, I never used to understand what people meant when they would say they needed to find themselves, but now I do, that's me right now. And it's lonely that's why i was reaching out in the first place but I think what I need now is friendship as opposed to romance, the problem is I'm a sucker for it.

Some major changes coming at work soon, positives and negatives attached to that. have to wait and see how it plays out and hope for the best (and maybe a raise). But all in all things are ok now just keep a positive attitude and and take care of myself better and those I love, sometimes its nice to pour out my thoughts and feeling where I can see them and take stock of how I am doing, gets confused in my head lol.

I think I'm alright emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KONRAD695 1/27/2013 10:25PM

    Not to go back to my profession (bartender) but- I seen 1000's of people in and out of relationships. You are so far in front of the curve just knowing what you don't want, and what you want to learn. Keep going and don't questions yourself, you are doing for you. Until you get things figured out, enjoy yourself, go out, meet some new people. Conversation can be enriching. Or, just hit the museum, whatever feels right.

Hang in there at work, role with the punches, I think you'll be just fine.

emoticon keep your chin up emoticon

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    You are better than alright! Take your time to find yourself and get in touch with who you really are and who you really want to is a long journey, but totally worth it (and a journey I am on as well).

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TEADYBEAR77 1/25/2013 12:35PM

    I'm glad you're feeling stronger. I can understand the temptations,but you're a strong person and I am confident that you can overcome.

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KENWANNE2013 1/24/2013 5:50PM

    Well done for being so clear about where you are going. I agree with Losenit that it would be great if you and this nice man could be friends. Before meeting my partner I had quite a few male friends (and still do). I do think, aside from the great benefit one always gets from good friendships, that having friends of the opposite sex does give you a different perspective. Have a great week

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LOSENIT66 1/24/2013 8:24AM

    You are so wise - and lucky you have found somebody that is interested in you. Can he just become a good friend? Before I got married, I had a lot of male friends. They truly enrich your life and give you a whole new perspective when you do decide to start dating again.

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KMM1123 1/23/2013 10:35PM

    I think it's a great idea to find out how you want to live your life before getting involved with someone. How will he discover and love who you are if you don't yet know who you are? Does that make sense?

Best of luck with your job!

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HEYNOW22 1/23/2013 8:50PM

    Good for you finding out what you really want

I have been married twice... the first I was lost and found someone to be "in Charge" - when the marriage fell apart I spent two years to find out who I really was and what I wanted and needed from life...only after that was I able to find my Mr Wonderful. Take your time and enjoy yourself - Life is the journey not the destination. Enjoy the rest of your week my Sparkling Friend

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Having a Hard Time with my Sad Today

Sunday, January 06, 2013

and well really the last few days... or maybe since after christmas I don't know. I guess it's my fault I lost my momentum gave into the food and ate horribly for like a week and missed workouts for several days now as a result i feel awful inside and out. I'm back at it now doing better the last couple days so at least I can banish the guilt. I'm so lonely though, and I can't seem to find people that want to be around me, so it gets hard to believe that its not me. Which begs the question is it the way I look or is it just me?

I guess I'll get through this and maybe start feeling better in a day or so if I keep taking care of myself, lose more weight, just stay focused and try not to focus on the negatives. then the positives will maybe become a little more visible. It'll get better...

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DOGSTARDADDY 1/17/2013 6:22PM

    Keep the faith...

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    Hang in there!

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RG_DFW 1/7/2013 10:39AM

    if you stay with it, you'll notice a difference and so will those around youj

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LOSENIT66 1/7/2013 8:31AM

    You are absolutely right, you will get through this. You know what you need to do and that's half the battle. Just keep smiling. Pay attention to your body language when you are out - are your arms and legs crossed, do you smile often, do you seem closed off to the world, do you make eye contact? Start by smiling at everybody you see. You may not feel like smiling but when they see you smile, they will return it and then you will feel better. Hang in there. emoticon

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KONRAD695 1/6/2013 11:26PM

    Sorry you're in a bad funk. Lack of good food and health will definitely do it. It seems that if I do it right, and fake a smile for a couple days, then most of it goes away.

Being alone- I bartend, and see lots of people sitting alone. They are all fine, nothing bad about them. I'm sure it's the same for you. Your photos look just fine too, heck- I'd buy you a drink.

Anyways, if you need a friend or an email buddy, I'm here for you.


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SLIMINDOWN31 1/6/2013 11:19PM

    Way to get back on tack! Give yourself credit for that :)

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Response to "A Little Disappointed"

Monday, December 24, 2012

As always I want to thank everyone for their support and positive thoughts and ideas. I have to admit that I may have been overreacting just a touch... When I started tracking my calories I was completely blown away by the the amount of calories that I had been packing away before joining spark and in response to that I was very very conscious for the next month or so about what I was eating so by allowing myself a cookie here or some spinach dip there lol it really really freaked me out.

I am happy to say that after not weighing myself for a week and a half out of fear of what it would say, today I braved it and surprise there was a loss of over three pounds!

Silly girl... always so hard on myself... And while I do still want to pay attention to what I'm doing I need to forgive the occasional indiscretion, focus more on my positive actions and less on the negatives.

I'm so thankful for sparkpeople and all my friends here, your kindness and caring never ceases to amazes me,

Thanks all,



  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HOLLYM48 12/28/2012 7:01PM

    Good for you! This place is amazing, the support is priceless~! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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RG_DFW 12/25/2012 11:48AM

    Wow, way to go...Merry Christmas!

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TEXAS_KELLY 12/25/2012 7:46AM


Congrats on the 3 pounds... It is hard to lose this time of year.

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ADORE83 12/24/2012 10:16PM

    Thanx so much you guys!

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KMM1123 12/24/2012 10:13PM

    Are you kidding? A three pound loss? That's awesome! And you're not going to be 'perfect' on your diet for the rest of your life are you? Enjoy little splurges for what they are - LITTLE splurges. It'll keep you from having a BIG splurge later on. Keep up the great work!


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JULESJET 12/24/2012 9:52PM

    Yay! Congratulations!
Remember this moment and don't beat yourself up too much the next time you have a momentary loss of motivation.
You can do it and are doing it!

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TEADYBEAR77 12/24/2012 8:23PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

Keep up the good work. That's awesome.

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A Little Disappointed...

Friday, December 21, 2012

Yes, I'm definitely feeling a little disappointed with myself lately; it would seem that my impulse control switch is a little broken, and I'm having a much harder time telling myself "no" to food. I haven't really gone to over board but it's been a little of this and a little of that here and there and I know that adds up.

I can't quite put my finger on it... maybe I'm getting complacent, or maybe I'm stressed, or maybe just bored... At any rate I don't like it, because I really love the results I've been getting and the way I've been feeling so it's scary to think about losing that.

I guess I should reflect on things and just try to have more control over what I'm eating, but on the flip side of the coin my energy levels haven't been quite as high when it comes to working out and some days I really have to force it... and I guess that might have something to do with the busy time of year and I'm just tired.

I'm going to keep a close eye on myself and investigate some new ways to keep myself busy and have fun in the new year, could so use some of that in my life LOL.

Here's to feeling better about the choices I make.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TEADYBEAR77 12/24/2012 7:40PM

    Don't beat yourself up too bad. You're going to have periods of struggles. The key is to keep going. You're going to make it.

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HOLLYM48 12/23/2012 8:59AM

    emoticon emoticon You will have struggles along the way, but stay strong! Today is a new day so hit the reset button and spark on! emoticon

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JITTERBUGJOY 12/21/2012 11:44PM

    This time of year brings so many distractions and there is so much to do in a day that most of us are exhausted! Keep your eyes on your goals and you will get through!

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JENNIEONFIRE 12/21/2012 11:27PM

    Trust me there are so many times that I have to convince myself to stay focused....Like today for example was my work's holiday party and there was cookies and treats galore so I made it a point to not even go into the room so I wouldn't be tempted....sometimes it has to happen -sometimes you just have to have one small indulgence and not feel bad about it because you will work it off and you won't go crazy with it.....keep fighting the good fight you have this :)

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RG_DFW 12/21/2012 11:18PM

    We definitely have a lot of distractions this time of year. Do your best to stay with it, the results will be well worth it

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Things I've noticed...

Sunday, December 09, 2012

so it"s happened; I've been as patient and steady as I could praying to see some results, and while yes some pounds were ticking off on the scale, its only been the last couple days where I've noticed, felt and seen a change.

I find it very exciting, I'm down just over 10 pounds. My eating habits have completely changed and unlike other times I've dieted its not even bothering me, I don't want to binge on horrible things because I'm to focused on what I'm putting into my body. because I feel accountable to my goals and tracking them here I've manage to keep working out out daily, and as a result I feel stronger. I don't get winded as easily and walking on the treadmill my legs FEEL stronger, I can feel the change in my muscles.

I'm able to wear a size smaller in my pants and everything is fitting better. I can see things getting better and it makes my goals seem more attainable. Thank you SparkPeople for helping me to get to this point and everyone that has been supportive I look forward to every experience and lesson that's yet to come. here's to embracing my future.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KITTY775 12/20/2012 12:59AM

    I am right their with you in noticing the small changes and feeling focused on my weight loss goals. This really is a great website!

Keep up the good work. emoticon

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GODS_TEMPLE 12/19/2012 5:24PM

    emoticon Keep up the good work and the results will keep piling up!

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PHEONIX47 12/19/2012 2:31PM

    You've put in the hard work & now you are seeing the results! Awesome job! emoticon

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JULESJET 12/19/2012 2:07PM

    Awesome! Way to go! I'm looking forward to getting into the next size smaller pants! I'm almost there! And YAY for progress that you can feel!

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KMM1123 12/12/2012 11:13AM

    I too am down just over 10 pounds. While I haven't tried on any other sizes, I think I can see a difference every once in a while in the mirror. I think I'm a little too nervous to try on different sizes (that are already in my closet) for fear that they'll still be too tight. It may sound silly but I'm a bit fragile in this early stage and I don't want anything shaking my motivation.

It sounds like you are doing great!


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BOBCATGIRL76 12/10/2012 7:52PM

    awesome non-scale victories! as well as a scale victory!

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KBOSTON54 12/10/2012 7:49PM

    Way to go!!!! Keep up the hard work!!!! emoticon

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RG_DFW 12/10/2012 10:46AM

    sounds like you're right on track.. keep it up!!

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