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Saturday, July 18, 2009

There are times when I get really surprised. I just received a message from a good college friend asking if I'm still in the DC area as she's headed this way for a conference next Thursday. Why is this odd? We'll about eight years ago, after she accepted her current job, it became apparent that I was no longer in her "friend" list. It took me a couple of years to clue in - I kept sending Christmas cards and trying to keep in touch, but nothing. Finally, I let it go. I've had this happen several times in my life and it's painful, but moving on is what I've learned to do. Their loss.

So, they find me on Facebook and I feel like it's somewhat of an intrusion. I mean really - they wrote me off and now they want back in? Yet, I still don't say, umm no, you can't be my friend on FB? How weird is that?

Anyway, DC is not an easy jaunt for me, so we'll see. I recently had another friend visit the area with her husband and her three kids. I'd told her when my conference was and she chose dates that had them arriving the Sunday before and leaving that Tuesday. I was leaving Thursday for conference. And she chose to stay in VA. I'm sorry, i don't have the bandwidth to meet you that close to conference (she's another who drifted, mainly after marrying and having kids). With everything going on, I elected not to knock myself out for someone who has barely communicated with me in the past five or six years and who didn't bother to update her cell phone with my new number, which I sent her. Her note - oops, I use it so infrequently.

So, I wonder. If you don't want to maintain the friendship, why drop me notes about being in the area? I'm not getting that. Then again, maybe I'm just a little cranky, but if you're my friend I will do everything to keep in touch with you and have friends that have remained friends even though we're separated by time zones and states. That's the joy of IM, e-mail, and phone.

I sent friend a reply that yes, I'm actually here, but it's basically close to DC. We'll see what her reply is.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SARAHANN32 7/21/2009 4:38PM

    Been there too - I've had to break up with friends who were just too much about taking and doing nothing in the giving in our friendship. It is a two way street. It is good that you have the sense to be able to realize that this doesn't work in your life. Hugs!

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LEAVNTHEW8BHIND 7/20/2009 9:36AM

    Yes, now a days it's so much easier to keep in touch.

There are certain friends where you know you are still friends after many years and not being in that close touch, but the others - not so much. They weren't really friends to begin with .

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SASSISPRING 7/19/2009 1:59AM

    I remember a conversation with a coworker/friend here in this town a few years back. She said she felt jealous that I have so many long-term friendships. I said, "well we each work to keep the friendship intact." She lamenated how it was so hard to maintain long distance friendships, that she couldn't simply get in her car and *gasp* drive hours away to visit someone like I could. I asked why. There was no reason. In the end I basically told her jealousy does nothing, if you want a friendship to work, make it happen. We live in the same town. She sees me and I'm in trouble for not contacting her to visit. Why haven't you called Bev? Well....and usually I say something and what I try to weave in is, "you didn't call me, how is it that I'm to call you?" Or another who said "I think of you all the time, call me." Why? I don't think of you. If you think of me, call me. Why should I call you when I never think of you? I'm with you I simply don't get people. If you want to be friends, then be friends. Don't pretend. Life is way to short to pretend.

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XHASTEDMOMOF2 7/18/2009 11:43PM

    I'm with you!!! I don't have a lot of friends but the ones I have I do my best to cherish. I don't think you're being cranky but it is confusing when people drop out of site after ignoring you and then expect you to be excited when they come to town. And yes, Annapolis and DC are not that close at all!!! Maybe she could meet you for dinner someplace halfway!!!

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Conference is just around the corner...

Tuesday, July 07, 2009

On Thursday, I head to Chicago for 4 days for a conference. It will be fun when I get there, but it's the preparation (at home and at work) that just makes me nuts. I won't have a lot of access to a computer and I'll be eating out, so I'm going to check the dining guide and try to remember all the articles and blogs I've read about restaurants, try to make good choices and hopefully not gain oodles of weight. On the plus side, I'll probably do a ton of walking and I will be taking the pedometer.

The downside... I still have not heard from the supposed buyer of my house since the appraisal came in. I'm guessing she's not going to work with me... that she wants me to eat all closing costs while I feel like she should pay some. I've already offered to pay over 3/4. This came up on Friday and nothing. Not even her realtor has gotten back to my realtor since Friday. I'd love not to have to keep carrying the house and I'm willing to work with her, but I don't want to get walked all over. The real kicker... she's getting an even better deal than what she offered, but she's being incredibly stubborn about closing costs. She was willing to pay way more than the value so I'd do closing, so I'm puzzled as to why she won't take on an extra small amount in her loan. It's still quite a bit less that what she was going to pay. Go figure. My realtor feels like she may wait 30-40 days, then offer even lower figuring I'll be desperate. I don't know that I'd accept the offer after all of this. Who knows. Just think, a little over a week ago the end was in site and now I'm back at square one. Such is life.

Update: Late Friday - The buyer has backed out. Sigh. It's back on the Market.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    I'm so sorry that the buyer backed out! I'm sure that means a BETTER offer is around the corner!

Where are you flying out of? BWI?

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ADLINS 7/7/2009 10:18PM

    Thanks Sassi! I agree with you. I found out later that the buyer has backed out. Just a huge pain in the rear, but I believe everything happens for a reason, if we don't see it. So, onward.

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SASSISPRING 7/7/2009 9:34PM

    Enjoy the conference. Sounds like you have a good plan with the food and walking. As for the house, how frustrating. Some people just don't get it, do they. My parents are selling and they had an offer, it was 50K below asking price. No way did they even consider it, even their relator recommended refusal. And the thing is, its not as expensive as it could be, so really even at the asking price, its a good price. Some people want something for nothing. They figured this way, someone will come along that wants it at the price asked and I feel that for you too - if not her, someone else will pick up the house and see the value, buy it. Its just crazy though that she isn't even willing to discuss it with you. Hope it sorts out soon

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There's always a catch....

Sunday, July 05, 2009

For me, this time, it's in the form of the appraisal of my house. It came in way below what the buyer offered. Which really doesn't surprise me. It's in line with what I thought it would be valued at. The buyer doesn't have a lot for closing costs, so she bid up so that I could carry the brunt of the closing costs, which sounded odd to me at the time, but neither Realtor had a problem. The bank did. And, buyer is apparently trying to qualify for the first time buyer credit, which apparently has a lot of hoops. I get this and I'm willing to work with her, however, in taking 10K less, I don't think I should carry all of the closing costs. I've offered to pay about 3/4 and have pulled the washer and dryer (appears buyer may have their own anyway). Buyer went out of town for the weekend, so I found this out on Friday and have had to wait all weekend. I should know something tomorrow. In the meantime, I went ahead and paid this month's house note. I've got travel coming up and I don't need to worry about not making it.

I found this out while I was testing recliners at La-Z-Boy. Gosh they have some nice ones. I want one that doesn't necessarily scream recliner and is comfortable. I've found one that's a bit more traditional than I'd like, but not overly bulky and it's comfy. I can sit in it and have my feet on the floor! Added bonus - it's also a rocker. Oh how I love to rock.

I'm still debating about a new apartment, but just don't know if I have it in me to pack up everything and move. Nothing has screamed at me. I've found lots of nice places, but moving just seems so daunting. And, in the end, maybe that's my answer. Work with this place, which I like, and not go through the hassle of moving. At least not right now. With me though, you never know. I could change my mind tomorrow. :)

Given all this, I guess it's no surprise I overslept this morning, which just got my whole day out of whack. Before I realized it, I'd eaten a light breakfast and hadn't weighed. Sigh. I was up a tiny amount last week. Maybe I'll weigh tomorrow. I won't be able to next Sunday as I'll be out of town. The really weird thing is I'd been eating at the very load end of my calorie range... some days I'm just not that hungry and have had to really plan to meet the minimum. So, I kind of wanted to know how it went this week as I'm trying to stay in the upper range (about 100 calories below the upper limit) to see if that will make a difference. Sometimes I wonder, though, if I just over think things.



Saturday, June 27, 2009

I can't believe it. Last Sunday night I received an offer on my house. After a bit of back and forth on Monday, it was sold! Closing is set for this Thursday. I'll do my portion by mail. It's been crazy getting everything to my realtor (who thank heavens is also a good friend) cause we didn't expect it to sell in a week. Even better, I'm not taking a huge loss. I'm basically getting what I'd hoped for.

There won't be oodles left after the Realtor fees and the closing costs, but still enough to invest, plus I won't have to pay a house note in addition to rent anymore! About a month ago, I started looking at other apartments. I didn't have a lot of time when I moved here so now I'm seeing what else is out there. I like the space in my apartment, but I'm really missing a washer/dryer in my apartment, heat and AC don't really make it to my bedroom, a little more room in the kitchen would be nice (especially since I'm cooking more), and I'm of the few people who would like to have carpet. Yep, I've got some type of wood laminate and am forever swiffering it (the cat and i both shed), it's slippery, and I think the bedroom would be warmer in the winter if it had carpet (my low this past Winter upon waking, in the bedroom, was 58 degrees!). Also, I'd like a little better parking. It's not so bad unless you're hauling in your groceries or other shopping. A walk from the car to the building and then four flights of stairs.

I've seen several that I liked, with parts that I especially liked. Today I saw one that while the range is about as basic as they come, at least the oven has a window and a light. The fridge is also pretty basic, but the space in the kitchen (and the storage) is good as is the the storage in the rest of the apartment, plus full size washer and dryer. This one also offers me the opportunity to have a garage. It'll cost a bit more, but oh how I miss having a garage. So, we'll see. I didn't get to see the two bedroom and this place is mostly occupied, so I'm hoping to be able to see one of the two bedrooms soon. I think it's getting close to when I'd have to give notice here (and the thought of moving again is really daunting), but it's hard to give notice when you don't know for sure where you'd be going.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LEAVNTHEW8BHIND 6/29/2009 10:12AM


Good luck on the apartment hunting.

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SASSISPRING 6/28/2009 4:43PM

    Congrats on selling your home so quickly. Good luck with finding a new apt. Very excitign time!

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SANCTUARIA 6/28/2009 11:48AM

What an exciting time ;-)!

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Wrapping it up....

Sunday, June 21, 2009

About two and half years ago, I accepted a job that took me back to TX. It was a nice pay increase and I was excited. Since I thought that that was the place I'd remain for awhile, I bought a house. I'd missed owning a house and was really happy to be back in my own home. What seemed so right turned out to be so wrong.

I walked into a job situation that was unlike any I'd ever been in. No one talked to anyone, collaboration was a no-no, and I wasn't wanted. At first I thought it was just angry co-worker (who literally refused to even look at me, much less work with me) for at least six months. She got past the not acknowledging me, but she never accepted me. I tried talking to my manager. I later realized, she didn't want me there either She was just more subtle about it than angry co-worker. Among other things, it took her nine months to give me a cubicle like the other professionals had (I was at a tiny work station basically in the middle of the room; the same as support staff). I wasn't overly bothered by this until she did arrange for my cubicle and referred to it the whole time as "the disruption." Which just about sums up her attitude about my hire. I believe she was told for various reasons to fill the job, so she did. Didn't mean she had to like it. And, I think she let angry co-worker display it, but that's why she did nothing about that woman's behavior.

There was another co-worker who was really ill. She didn't manage that well either. Shortly after I left, she stepped down and they are now filling her position. Karma will get you in the end. Didn't help me though.

In the meantime, my brand new house had serious issues. It took me over a year to get the builder to take it seriously. Well, this past January, they fixed the foundation. They literally put 32 piers under my house, which they did by digging several tunnels (photo below is of one). A whole guy could fit in one of those tunnels. I sorta wish I could have been there to see it. I also think it was probably a good thing I wasn't living in the house while it was being done. Turns out the builder is having to fix many houses.

This all leads up to the fact that my house went up for sale last Sunday. I had briefly entertained the idea of keeping it and renting it and moving back to it in a couple of years and decided that was not a good idea for a number of reasons. On the plus side, summer is a good time to sell, it's in a very desirable school district, and it now has a lifetime warranty on the foundation. Cross your fingers for a quick sale. It will so lighten my load to not have to take care of this house long distance.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LEAVNTHEW8BHIND 6/25/2009 9:24AM

    Good luck on selling the house - believe me, it's a good move - I was a long distance landlord for 11 years and it sucked!

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SASSISPRING 6/21/2009 8:42PM

    Definitely sending positive vibes that your home sells fast and for the price you want.

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