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Perfectly flawed

Friday, January 11, 2013

So I got up with the girls got them off on their bus, then ate my breakfast, took my fiber, did a little dance, made a little ..scarf! (what did you think I was going to say there!)

Cheeky Monkey's! emoticon

Seriously though, got some exercise in after eating my healthy breakfast, nom nom.

Last night I was reading a article here on Spark, which basically said to think of yourself as a product, keep a journal and each night, name at least five things you did *right* or in a manner you were proud of, each day. Eventually that record keeping will help you stop the negative thoughts about yourself, or the abuse. Since I already keep a journal of what I eat (paper and pen, remember those strange things before the keyboard became how we wrote?) and what exercise I do, and how I feel, I am adding that listing every night.

Funny thing is?

I feel guilty writing down anything I feel I did well!

How revealing is that statement? That it makes me feel ashamed or 'bad' to write down positive things about myself, or that I see in a good light.

Just lead into that thought process that has been going on for a few years now. Those mulled over in the dark statements, that we all do, I am sure.

When did I stop believing in myself?

I ask that, because I used to believe like a child does, that one can accomplish and do *anything* they put their mind to. I am a fighter, a survivor, and even after listing everything I have done, or survived, everything I have accomplished that others thought I could not, at some point, I gave up that *fight*.

I cannot even pinpoint when I did. When I stopped believing I could reach the stars, and started just 'getting by', doing enough that I didn't feel I was spinning tires, or going through motions, but not that extra that I used to do, that made me as a person, as a woman feel inspired.

Somewhere, in the last 10 years, I started believing less in myself. Started making excuses, and validating those excuses. This isn't about the weight, but about every day life. That hill, that slow decline from being brave and pushing my own limits, in stretching myself, had to have started small. An excuse or a thought here or there, that slowly snowballed, until there are very few things, that I will admit to doing 'well'.

If you ask my best friend, she would tell you that I should write a novel, the next best novel, that would touch hearts and allow folks to see a bit of themselves in the strangers you pass. emoticon

If you ask her husband, he would say I should be a comedian. Tell my life with that flavored taste I have. emoticon

My husband ? He would tell you, there is not a thing in this world, that if I wanted to do it, that I could not Master. (except for beating him at a video game. Let's be honest, he is right about that!) emoticon

My daughters? They have said it, that they believe I am capable of anything, from building a house from scratch, to saving starving children with a hug and a kiss on the head. emoticon


So then, even with amazing support, with folks that believe in me, does it drive me nuts to have faith in *myself*.

And I have to say, that writing it out there, is painful and cleansing in it's own way. Accountability, which is a huge part of why I blogged, why I share the thoughts in my head here. It has to be apart of the journey for me, so I can sit down and look back on the touch points, of my own path here, and break the cycles I put myself in!

That being said. Time to practice what I preach to the girls. There is no *can't*. There may be "I will." "I am going to" "This might suck, but this is what I am going to achieve" and then there is *doing* it, and not knocking how long it takes to get there, or how many times I fall down while doing it.

With anything, there is only failure, when I stop trying. Every other time, is just practice. And well, practice makes perfection, as beautifully flawed as that perfection might be.

Nothing perfect, is perfect because it isn't flawed, but because of the flaws that make it perfect for the person who loves it.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TIGGERJEAN 1/15/2013 8:54AM

    emoticon

I have tears in my eyes - because I know where you are coming from. I think we all have a moment where we recognize that we are not the person we want to be -and only we can change that fact. It's frightening and liberating.

I'll be praying that you will continue to recognize your value - you are so loved.

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THESB25 1/14/2013 2:01PM

    Great blog - I struggle with the same issues. Thanks for writing.

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MARTY728 1/11/2013 1:12PM

    emoticon emoticon

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IBSHAUN 1/11/2013 11:33AM

    Pretty powerful blog. Makes you stop and think, why do we (maybe not everyone, but I am a lot like you) have such a hard time seeing the good things in ourselves, giving ourselves credit, when we deserve them? Making me think this morning... thank you.

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How's that for strange!

Friday, January 11, 2013

How funny. It's been almost a year since I have blogged, and it's nearly the *same* type of blog. "I am back, I am embarassed, I am ashamed I am heavier then I was, after KNOWING what worked, etc etc"

Maybe I should treat this like it's a warning blog DUN DUN DUN!

*******WARNING! DO NOT BE LIKE ME IN THIS! ******

But if you are and do, know you are adored, and it doesn't make you a failure, or anything other then absolutely human, and beautiful in your flaws. We all take our own time to learn things, and realize our own patterns.

I had come back and started working out again and tracking those calories, in July of last year, secretly, quietly,(like a ninja!) under the radar, using the tools, pushing myself (punishing myself) with restrictions and trying to move things a mile of minute, to see those results I wanted to see again. Long story short, I had torn two tendons in my ankle completely and broken the bone, (silly me, when you weigh as much as I did then, I should have realized jump kick jump kick, jump kick, punch should be saved for video games, and not for "Let's get on this RIGHT NOW!" you know, like someone sane would do..slowly starting back up on their fitness routine!)

So que the Dr's visits, and being in a cast then boot, on bedrest for around 6 months all total. It hasn't healed completely and the tendon isnt knitting right, but the idea of surgery is terrifying to me, and honestly the kicker?

I know that the issue is compounded by my weight, the things that need to knit, cannot knit, because I have added such a huge amount of weight on myself with my eating while I was on bed rest, with that same self punishment that I put on myself when I am being "good" and when I am being "bad".

Sleeping in boot is miserable. Being in one for so long, is horrid too! And stinks! and is poo! and I cannot believe, looking back, how depressed I was, for most of those months. How the sunlight just recently broken, to where I feel more myself again.

Cold hard facts, are sometimes the one's that wound the worst, when you really sit and think about them. More to the point, they sometimes provide that *lightbulb* that you need. And lord knows I needed a lightbulb instant.

Can I say, weighing in on the 2nd of this year, was one of those cleansing cries, one of those where you mourn what you cannot change, and accept those things you can change, and gain the perspective to change them, not in an emotional fit but out of want, with conviction.

Sadly, I feel like that saying "Do you how the woman lost 1000 lbs? " "By losing 50 and putting on 75, then losing 100 then putting on 125 and so on and so forth."

- There is no magic pill. This takes work, it takes dedication, it takes sweat and tears and more then anything, it takes someone loving themselves, to the point they are willing to devote in that time.

- I am going to fall again, and I will get back up and not beat myself up.

- My self worth and my love of myself, does not depend on that number on a scale, or the jiggle when I laugh. I am grateful daily for that fact.

- Losing it is simple if you think about the METHOD, but I am not about losing, I am about making changes to become healthier as a lifestyle change. Not as a punishment regime, or setting myself up to fail.

- Burn more calories then I take in, in a healthy manner. No exercise for punishment, no not eating enough calories, or the *RIGHT* kind of calories.

- Remember that -this- isn't the end all be all to life. Life is what happens all the time, this is something that like any other thing I want to change, cannot consume or overshadow the things about me that I love.

- Have fun, but be safe. Amazingly I am not superwoman. (Or wonderwoman, although her outfit would be fabulous in about a year!)

-Be vigiliant. Track what you eat, think about it, and make sure you move, even if it's just a walk, even if it's dancing to a song at the start of every hour. Eventually, those things WILL pay off, like they have a few times before. Eventually you will be able to train like you used to (barring your whole image of beating yourself up while doing it!)


That all being said and out there!

My ankle is still horrid. But you know what? I will take my time and get back to where I was. I will move, and treat it with respect, but not coddle it, or allow it to be an excuse.

I was at my highest weight ever, only 2 weeks ago. Now, I am 14 lbs down from there (holding off on adjusting the tracker, until another week has passed, because I like weighing daily and averaging those weights!)

And I missed ya'll! I even came and lurked for a few of you, read up on how you were, and was amazed at your strengths, and your achievements!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MARTY728 1/11/2013 12:53PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MRSSMITH622 1/11/2013 9:30AM

    I missed you! I just came back, also gaining and losing the same 50 or so pounds and found myself staring at 282. Lost 6 pounds in 2 weeks. Trying to do this right. I hope your ankle heals.

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PYNETREE 1/11/2013 9:27AM

    Good blog. You are back...that is the most important thing. Don't give up on yourself.
You're back, AND you are smarter! A winning combination!
Now you will recognize your limitations, much less chance of an injury !

emoticon

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JASI27 1/11/2013 8:23AM

    Welcome back!! You are here now and that is all that matters. Pushing forward is all we can do and you are right, not beat yourself up for missteps. We are all here for you whenever or whyever you need us, so no more lurking! : ) speak up and share your struggles, someone here might be just what you need.

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LLLAWSON 1/11/2013 8:16AM

    Glad your back. Sorry about the injury. Hope it gets b better quick. I know you won't let that slow you down. You got this! emoticon emoticon

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TIGGERJEAN 1/11/2013 7:01AM

    You are very loved and there is so much more to you than what you weigh. I'm back as well after a break- trying to push and not punish myself. I know you will achieve your goals.

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LHACKING13 1/11/2013 1:39AM

    So good to have you back, but sorry to hear about your leg. I learned the hard way too, but not as bad as you. Thankfully mine was just a stressed ankle and pulled muscle on my leg. I've been on SP for over 4 years now and I can't remember how many time I fell and had to try again. You can do this and now you have even more knowledge and experience to help you along the way. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CHRISTINA791 1/11/2013 1:10AM

    I'm so glad to see you back and sorry to hear about your injury. Take it nice and slow - I know you know how to do this, and you absolutely can. You were such a great help and source of inspiration when I first started here, and you still are.

2013 is going to rock. emoticon

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FITANDFIFTY2 1/11/2013 12:55AM

    So happy you are back blogging again!! emoticon emoticon

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IBSHAUN 1/11/2013 12:36AM

    Welcome back!! I'm sure your injury (and the boot) were quite miserable. But I have to say I enjoyed your blog! I enjoyed your enthusiasm and wit and...determination. Good reminders and words to live by - it's easy to get caught up in numbers and fixated on the scale but you are right - life is what happens around us all the time. We just need to learn how to live it! emoticon emoticon

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CHIBIKARATE 1/11/2013 12:33AM

    emoticon nice to have you blogging again WTG enjoy your day and heal and be careful hugz

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In like a lamb..

Monday, January 16, 2012

Today, I do that thing I do.

I start over. This time though, I have to be honest, I don't have that massive bravado, or the kick butt conviction. More so I have an understanding, that I am taking it one day at a time. One small step, and while my pride is wounded and confidence is more then shaken, I am accepting the fact that I -need- to be accountable, that hiding out, is only robbing me of the support that Spark brings.

On 9-21-2011 I hit 310. Today I weighed, and it was 335. Back in May? I was 275. Oh and how I loved those 2anythings!

Rather then start over with a new name, (which was totally a thought for a second), just to cover up my own embarassment, I realized I couldn't at all, lose the contact with the amazing folks I have had the chance, heck, the BLESSING to meet here.

Cutting down on teams. And totally understand those who needed to let go of me, during my abscence. It's been a emtional roller coaster here, and honestly, I -made- the choice at some point just to fall back on old habits, on old coping tools, that aren't really tools at all. Instead they are just tiny posioned daggers that let me 'deal' for the moment, and attempt to ignore the huge pile that is waiting to take its payment out. Delay, Delay, Delay.

So here we go one more time, going over where I am, what I am thinking, and setting out those goals. Hopefully my blog tomorrow will be absolutely more clear minded.

Missed you all. Needed you, and the worst part is that feeling where you come back, head lowered, going "Dang it..I did it again.."

And special thank you, to the person (you know who you are!) who sent out that lifeline. Who reminded me, what I was pushing away because of my own stall out. Love you!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LOVEAZ 8/30/2012 12:57AM

    So, how's it going? :D

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RONOSOF 2/4/2012 10:35AM

    So happy to have you back! I kept checking your page for you. Stay a while and no shame, no judgement; be kind to yourself emoticon

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LOVEAZ 1/25/2012 9:20AM

    One step at a time, each foot forward, and keep on going!

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15THC_ODETTE 1/18/2012 2:56PM

    I conpletely understand. I had worked my way down to the 2teens in the fall, and after the holidays I had worked my way back to the 240s. I reset my trackers. I cleaned my Goals Met from my SparkPages. Then I started over.

You can do it!! emoticon

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CHRISTINA791 1/17/2012 10:57PM

    I broke into a huge smile when I saw your name pop up on my friend feed. So glad to see you back and wishing you all the best this time!

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GONICNIC 1/17/2012 10:15AM

    First...it is absolutely amazing to see you back...I have missed you! Second, I can totally relate to thinking about signing up under a new name and letting shame hold me back from what I really need & want. Lastly, know that I am inspired by you for fighting that shame and accepting the hand that reached out to you, I thank you for writing this blog it helped me greatly!

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MRSSMITH622 1/17/2012 9:49AM

    Me too, hanging my head and coming back but I am glad we are. I am so glad you came back.

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THESB25 1/16/2012 10:55PM

    Oh goodness I have done this blog entry so many times in my life. What I need reminding of though is that the journey never ended...it was just interrupted. You are fabulous and I'm glad you're back!

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NDORRIS 1/16/2012 3:09PM

    Love you no matter what. Our worth is not dependent on our body's size or shape. I need to remember that as I look in the mirror and think judgemental thoughts and have judgemental feelings about myself. I am worthy of love and positive attention no matter what. You deserve that same love and positive attention. You have it from me.

emoticon

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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 1/16/2012 2:34PM

    You're back and that's what matters. Not what has happened since you've been gone, but what you're going to do while you're here. SO glad you're back! emoticon

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LORIANNE61 1/16/2012 1:52PM

  You shouldn't beat yourself up when you fall. The problem is when you don't have the strength (courage) to pick yourself up and admit to your mistakes. As long as you realize you have friends on the journey with you, you can accomplish whatever it is you want to accomplish. I am a newbie here so may need you to help me around the site til I understand what and where everything is. This is only my second week in and my goal for this year is 50 lbs. I don't dare say what my goal is altogether as it would scare you.

My name is Lori, I live in Maine and am a mother of two sons, 20 and 22 yrs old. I turned 50 in Sept. and was told I am pre-diabetic so that was one reason for joining this new year's change. Another is the wellness group I am involved with is doing its own version of Biggest Loser thru our local hospital. We have 12 weeks and soem physical challenges along the way.

Hope to hear from you soon.

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SWEETLEA32 1/16/2012 1:50PM

    Glad to see you! I took a break over the holidays...more like gave up for about two months...while dealing with a number of things in life. It's amazing how quickly that weight will come back on. You're doing the right thing though by being honest about where you were and now where you are in the process. It is a struggle, heck sometimes a battle, but the honesty you have with yourself gets you a large step forward. Welcome back!

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LHACKING13 1/16/2012 1:49PM

    Welcome back dear. So glad to see you. We've all been through what you experienced to one extent or another. You came back and that is a very important point. You haven't given up, you want to keep going. Each day brings new realizations to what works for each of us. May this time have a stronger affect on you. I'll be here to cheer your success and be encouraging (hopefully) during the struggles. emoticon

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BECKYB73 1/16/2012 1:45PM

    I've missed you!!! I'm so glad that you didn't change your name or hide by doing so.

Let's make 2012 the best year ever...after all it's supposed to be the end of days on December 21...so let's LIVE this year like we mean it!!

And say that whole Mayan apocalypse doesn't happen....we're 10+months into a healthier, happier life and FUTURE!!!!!!!!

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Slippery Slopes of good intentions!

Monday, July 18, 2011

Alright so this is how it starts. I get distracted, maybe overwhelmed with things going on within my life, with life itself in some regards. How things aren't exactly how I planned them, how depsite best intentions I just don't feel I am measuring up.

And I start to slip. Just a bit at first, and it's totally innocent, or it appears that way. You know what I mean..I start to have two helpings of one of my favorite foods. I whisper to myself "Man you have been working so hard go ahead sleep in late today, you can catch that work out tomorrow." Then that mind set, along with "What does it matter if I do x,y or z, it isn't going to make r, s, t any better, or make a magical fairy come poop glitter on me!"


Now we are in a bit more then 'slip' on this slope. I look at this as I had this huge amount of weight to loss, to be healthier, being thinner, being more fit is an enrichment to my life, it isn't a magic fix, that is going to have that pooping glitter fairy sprinkle magic dust and undo things I have done, choices I have made, or any part of my past. So this mountain to personal enrichment I am climbing, to this healthier, more capable me, is that, a mountain and sometimes I need to rest on a ledge, and catch my breath, let all those small steps sink in. See how far I have come already.


This was more then just sitting on that ledge. I backtracked, because all those little things, all those sweet little lies I was happily letting myself believe started to wear at me. "Oh well, taking a week off is alright.." and for me, that week turned into a few, which has turned into a "Gods, I am going to be starting all over!" Did I backtrack completely? NO, so this isn't failure, it's a learning process, like most things in life.


More importantly, I wanted to share it because I think sometimes, we tend to think everything is black or white. Fail or pass. That we get on here and either we struggle struggle, or we WIN WIN! And that isn't the case. Sometimes we are just what we all are, which is learning new habits, and changing our lifes those small steps at a time, and in any change there are days where its just BAM I get THIS...

And there are times and periods where its "Ok, I want this, and even though I really am not FEELING like doing it, I am sticking it out, sucking it up, and pushing through."

So I can't say my Spark Fire is burning brightly. But what I can say is I have told myself enough. Got up, set my game plan, put on that 'game' face, and forced through my workout this morning. Planned my meals for the day. And set my goals. Don't worry, I will blog them for the public eye tomorrow.

Mwah!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NDORRIS 1/11/2012 8:15AM

    I've missed you terribly. It surprises me how attached I could get to someone I've never met before. You are part of the reason I came back to SP. I enjoy your openly human style of writing and being in the world. We could all used more honesty in our lives. So...I'll be blogging and reading your blogs and sending you some goodies cause you deserve it. Glad I'm back. Glad you're still here. Much love, Nora.

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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WILDFIREKRISTIN 8/1/2011 6:47PM

    Good for you making that first step again, it is a hard step. No one is perfect, but for some reason we think we can be after years of not being on our best game. I do this too and way to often I might add. The best cure is just what you are doing, getting right back up and doing what you know will get you the results you want.

This is a hard ride my friend, but I am here with you and we can get through this together!

Hugs,

Krist
in

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PURPLESPEDCOW 7/26/2011 10:40PM

    emoticon to re-start your spark

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RONOSOF 7/26/2011 8:01PM

    emoticon emoticon

Mary

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EUPHRATES 7/20/2011 12:32AM

    Three steps forward, two steps back STILL equals one step forward - you got this!
emoticon

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MRSSMITH622 7/19/2011 10:13PM

    I know how you feel. After all of my drama, I scooped out some icecream and I felt better and all week as crap blew up I aste to numb my pain. It was bad. Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow. Now I am here, not giving up on me and not gaining a pound because there are problems.

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CHRISTINA791 7/19/2011 11:15AM

    Glad to see you back! It's absolutely not a pass/fail system, and by continuing to push forward, you're going to win. Good luck, and can't wait to see your goals!

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THESB25 7/18/2011 3:50PM

    I backtracked lately with my weight despite training for my triathlon...it's just the nature of the weightloss beast. You're right though...it's never black and white..only move on, keep learning! Sometimes this mountain climbing is just tough!

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SWEETLEA32 7/18/2011 12:37PM

    As you noted on my blog...I'm so there with you. It's hard but acknowledging it makes all the difference. emoticon

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MARTY728 7/18/2011 10:07AM

    I second HOLLYS-DOIN-IT's and BLAZINGPHOENIX's comments. They nailed it! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 7/18/2011 9:53AM

    Glad to see you're back Mandy! I've been missing you. Don't ever let the spark go out completely, it's hard to get it going again. We all have slip ups, or as I call them "Oh crap!" It's going to be ok, because you have the tools to do it, just do it! Hang in there, and keep sparking!

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BLAZINGPHOENIX 7/18/2011 8:40AM

    Hey don't be too hard on yourself - your Spark Fire is still burning so go ahead & stoke those flames...little changes mean a lot. I do understand though - I am battling the same slippery slope...it can be overwhelming. But as long as you don't give up - you'll get ahead!
Lorraine

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Ramble, Gamble, Stam..wait that doesn't make sense.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

I stink.

Like honestly right now, I smell. And even after over a year of spark, and working out a lot, I still hate the after effects of sweating, not the effect while you are getting down into it, while you are making muscles burn, or the sensation of sweet, hot sun on your skin. Those sensations I adore. I love the feeling of knowing my body is a machine, and that I can push it a bit farther then I could the week before. I love the feeling you get, when you do something you once thought you couldn't, even if it is something others might take for granted. Something as simple as touching your toes, or being able to almost put your chin on your knee when you are stretching.

But the after effect, like when you don't have the whole BO thing going on, but you do have that sticky kinda sour smell on you. Like you have, I don't know, put in some manual work.


The last two weeks, I haven't really blogged, haven't really felt compelled to, or more then anything, like I didn't have anything positive to say, or anything negative. More like a big ball of apathy which in some cases, leads to bitterness. Or is just a feeling, just a sensation, which doesn't need a lot read into it.

Been super busy. Sometimes I have three extra girls, sometimes, I have five, some days six extra all total. Which means a lot of cleaning, a lot of cooking, a lot of patience, and a lot of pre planning entertainment, so that they stay active and don't get bored. Throw in, two large dogs, and one chinchilla, and a husband who has been working a LOT of hours, and you get insta fun! Then add in a bit of "new house, where drive way isn't done, and then mega three days of rain! Look at the mud and sticky fun!" and bake in three days of indoors, mud being tracked in and out, and a bit of exhaustion on the CEO of such an group, along with a mother who just had major back surgery, and now has a staph infection and you have a general formula for my life right in this instant.

In the last two weeks,

I have worked 6 hours, pushing, pulling and prodding on various cars stuck in the drive even after they were told not to go up it. I have carried my mom down the 600 foot stretch of lovely mud, to her car. I have shot a copper head from my back porch. I have chased down a dog, barefoot through four acres, of sweetly squishy land, and fallen face first right before grabbing him. Bathed him outside before he could go on in, after. I have prepared over 300 meals and snacks, if you count them by portions. I have been up late with one who was sick, been on call for another who was sick in another house. I have cleaned. I have washed more laundry then I thought would be possible, and scrubbed more dishes then normal.
I have doctored a cut in the roof of one daughter's mouth, and laughed (I AM HORRIBLE) when my eldest got stung on the backside by a wasp. I even chuckled when I sunk down in a bit of mud to my knees, and fell face first for the second time this week. I changed a blow out on the side of the highway for someone.


And that's just what I can think of, besides the normal every day stuff that a stay at home mom does. You know, the grocery shopping, cleaning, entertainment providing, counseling, cooking, and being the taxi for those who have places to go. In between sparking and trying to keep my head above water as far as my eating habits go.


I have still been in that major kinda funk. Something mega major happens, and I go "Eh it will be alright, let's see how we can fix it/change it/make it easier to tolerate." I look at the progress I have made and judge it, by where I 'think' I should be, always discounting what I have done so far. Not just with Spark but with my own life. I don't think habits remain far from one realm of your life, or another.

Anyhow! That being said. I did lose five lbs from the first week of BLC. I have stuck to making sure I get in my ten minute increments this week, even if I made everyone zumba with me, in the front room, and they looked at me like I was the Kool-Aid man busting in.


And tomorrow, tomorrow?

I have no kids but my own. (Sounds so weird to type that! I love my little ones who I get the joy of tending to.) But I get to focus on getting the mud picked up, getting these blankets and things washed. I get to sleep in. I do need to run over and check on my Momma at some point and need to sit down and go over the lesson plans for the kids I have next week. (Yeap, I so do the whole we learn even if we aren't in school thing.) And run to the library to pick up a few of the things we will need for that. But for the most part, if I spend the afternoon in the pool at my Moms, or curled up on the couch at home watching total girly movies with my little ones, and eating some air popped pop corn, I am SO not stressing it.

And tonight?

Tonight I think we are going to splurge (gasp!) and go grab something to eat. I wish I could tell you, that I am going to aim for something healthy, something reinitializing fresh. But honestly, if I don't have to cook it, serve it, or have to do the dishes after, I am SO not complaining about what it is.

Devil ain't gonna get my smile.

I used to laugh, when my granny would say that, when everything would go a bit wonky.

But danged if I totally don't understand what she meant by it.

No matter what happens, what funky monkey, act of happiness terrorism happens to me. I am going to keep my joy, laugh it off, shrug those shoulders, and flash the biggest, most brightest smile I can. Because I know something. That tomorrow whatever happened yesterday isn't going to be as painful as it is right now, as hard as it is right now. The day after, it will get a bit better, and by next year? I won't even remember all the details.

Bwahahah! Hope you guys have a FANTASTIC, GREAT, AMAZING day.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HAZELDREAMS 7/15/2011 2:17PM

    Wow you are something else and then some... Can I come shoot snakes at your house? I'd prefer less mud..but on the upside if I fall down into it it's a free mud bath/facial etc.. My skin will look amazing right? *grins* Sorry I have been such an absentee friend... house mess, family stress, back to work.. however my friend.. it is NOTHING compared to you....

phew.. I feel better just reading your post.. lol

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TIGGERJEAN 6/27/2011 1:13PM

    *HUGS* Totally understand the blog dearth. I've been MIA myself lately - though I don't feel like I have anything on my TO DO list to compare with yours!

WOW-you shot a snake? You GO girl. You totally rock.

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RONOSOF 6/25/2011 7:50PM

    YOU SHOT A SNAKE! I am onboard for everything except shooting a snake, or even being near a snake. Although, it seems you may be used to snakes in your neighborhood. I still want to come to summer camp! You are a dedicated mother, wife, daughter, and teacher. AMEN to you! and I bet you would say, I'm doing what anyone else would do... When your kids get older, and you have more time for you, do you believe when I say you will miss it? I didn't. Tonight I looked at pictures of kids from when they were under 10. Boy do I wish I could space those days out more. My kids are 20 and 22 now, and not around 95% of the time.

You are awesome, I mean, woman, you shot a snake! Hugs, Mary

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PRINCHESSA 6/24/2011 12:01AM

    All I can say is... OMG I'm exhausted after reading that! You are so amazing!

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BOSOXGYRL33 6/23/2011 9:49PM

    What can I say? YOU ROCK MANDY! emoticon

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LHACKING13 6/23/2011 8:25PM

    You are amazing!! And you make me laugh, thanks emoticon

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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 6/23/2011 7:34PM

    You are SO awesome Mandy! Always my hero. Solid as a rock with the heart of a Lion. You are an amazing woman, and I'm better to have known you because YOU make ME want to be a better person. Much love sister : )

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KELI-RHODES 6/23/2011 7:10PM

    You are a super hero sweet heart! I dunno how you do it, I wish I had HALF your drive! I also wish I could be there and give you a helping hand, because despite the chaos it sounds like fun!

(((hugs)))

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SARA72121 6/23/2011 6:43PM

    You are a rockstar. After a couple weeks straight of cooking and cleaning and doing all the nice wifey/housey things for the two of us I've had enough, and need to not look at or do anything for a couple of days! I don't know how you do it for up to 8 people at a time!! I know that terrible feeling where you want to eat anything that isn't made by you and you don't really care what it is as long as YOU DIDN'T MAKE IT. Please enjoy your non home cooked meal tonight!! I'm sure whatever it is it'll be amazing.

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