Tuesday, January 25, 2011
when you have a joy in your heart. The week could have been better, but there's just a joy in having thanks for the things that are in your life. I have been reading "One Thousand Gifts" by Ann Voskamp, and her perspective is refreshing. It is especially refreshing when I have been looking at things more than things but with thanks.
I want to lose weight, but I have to say that the drive that I had when I did it the first time was... selfish. I want to do it this time to give thanks for the body that God fashioned for me. It's not about the final number, but the joy and contentment that comes with self. I feel that now, but knowing that I am taking care of my body for God's glory brings a whole new level of joy.
I have joy, but I want the next level. I am devoted to God's honor. Joy!
Friday, January 21, 2011
We have had a stressful week. Being in the ministry there is one thing that I have learned, when someone has a problem it doesn't matter what else is going on in that minister's life their problem should be a first priority.
Call ASAP, we need to talk ASAP, what should is ASAP?
People aren't in the business for the answer, "well, you should be in prayer over it as will I." People want this is what you should do and it will make it all better. Even a DR can't work like that. With that being sad... my appetite has diminished. The past two days have been a struggle to get to my calories. Both days my calories have not reached passed 800 cals before dinner. This is unlike me. I have eaten. Fruit salads, bagel with peanut butter, turkey sandwiches, etc. However, I'm just not hungry.
My mind is spiraling with thoughts, prayer... people knowingly picking the worst path possible. It's exhausting. No, I can't fix them and their decisions, but their decisions are so detestable... I'm just not hungry.
It's almost like a fasting period at the moment. Diving into scripture has been my only thing at the moment. So... like last night I will eat a big dinner. The effort to eat during the day has been made:
Looks good. I just couldn't eat more than half. Sigh. The pastor will be back tomorrow, and I couldn't be happier. This week proved that I prefer being the youth pastor's wife not the head pastor's. =)
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
I wish that there was something interesting to say, but really there isn't. This weight loss journey can get... boring... redundant... not bad just not something exciting to share. I think that's what makes it hard. It's not like when you eat you get full, or when you go and bungee jump. That instant thrill and gratification. Weight loss is not a sprint but a marathon that only shows it's results over time and for some (many) a long long time.
sigh... down another pound... 56 to go.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Isn't it what many of us do? We get stressed, we eat. Why the topic? Because today has been one of the worst days as a youth pastor's wife. I would love to scarf down pasta. Today is also the day I began my pride in womanhood. I would love to scarf down a whole bag of mini Reeses. However, I'm not going to today. Instead I eat at Subway, and... just breathe through this anger, this feeling of exhaustion... sigh.
Emotionally eating is a danger zone. Breathe through these bouts. I can't give you a miracle pill to make it stop or make the urge stop. I may fail next time, but I will try not to. I will try to breathe through it.
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Last night was my indulge night. What made these two dishes high in calories was the use of cheeses, and cream. It was the Pasta Primavera and Garlic Cheese Bread from The Pioneer Woman. The Pasta said it was for a serving of four, but there is no way. It was a dish for at least 6-8. Here are the two dishes.
The bread is what will kill you, a serving was more than pasta, but it was AWESOME! Also, last night I made the chicken salad (from the same place) for my lunch today.
So, busy cooking last night, Reson woke up with Luk and cooked my breakfast. He made me an omelet, but did give me less servings than what I use so it may not be 204 calories. It was yummy. Reson has been such an amazing support to me. It doesn't matter if I'm at my laziest and heaviest, or fittest and go-go ready. He is an amazing man. He knows how to cook healthy (after my first weight loss, which I noticed helped him lose some), and he gives me great protection. He helps me plan meals and days like today. Blessed beyond what I deserve, and I am grateful. Well, I must go. Pray I make it through the day thousands of teens in the St. Pete Forum rockin' out to some awesome Christian Bands... yea, I can't wait. It's the drive over with my kiddos rockin' the car back and forth that needs my sanity. Just kidding. I love those guys!
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