Friday, November 08, 2013
Week 6 Complete!
Today, I am down another 0.6 from last week. Iím actually surprised that Iím down in weight because I have not been 100% compliant with the diet this week. I have probably not exceeded the 30g carbs every day, but Iíve definitely come too close. I am a sugar addict, as we all know, so the abundance of Halloween candy at work and at home has been quite tempting. I did have another few pieces of the mini heath bars this week, and I really shouldnít have. I didnít go overboard, and kept it to one piece, but reallyÖ Additionally, our anniversary was on Wednesday, and Dean got me a dozen chocolate covered strawberries. Each is approximately 16 carbs. Weíve eaten one each night for the past two nights. This diet is pretty much a strict No Fruit diet (because of the carbs/sugar), so thatís where I havenít been 100%. I think overall, I must be within the right carb range, as Iím still seeing a loss in weight, but I canít let it get me to be too complacent. Thatís where the danger lies!
That being said, I cannot wait to devour another ridiculous amount of candy tomorrow night during my carb nite! Woohoo! Last Saturday, I actually didnít have a good carb nite (which may be an explanation why I havenít lost much this week) Ė we started early with Indian food, but the stuff I love is also high in fat. Iím supposed to keep it high carb, low fat on the carb nites. I donít have much of a plan for tomorrowís carb nite. Iím actually going to be taking the USA Weightlifting Level 1 trainers course tomorrow and Sunday. According to the schedule, I shouldnít be done tomorrow until 630. Itís gonna be a long day of cleans, jerks, and snatches. Iím very much looking forward to it. Iím totally going to make rice krispy treats tonight and bring them in to share tomorrow. Iím also going to pack some chocolate chex cereal to snack on once 4pm rolls around! Those two things should be a good kick-start to the carb nite. As for dinner, Iím totally leaning towards Asian! I want some rice! And sushi! For dessert, we have some ice cream cake that's waiting to be eaten. On this diet, it's OK to have fattier food at the end of the night, so ice cream is good. MMMM!!!! I'm pretty much salivating writing this out.
Ok, so nothing much to report on from my end. Another loss, although not significant, in the books. And, as mentioned, it's actually a little surprising. I was expecting a gain this week. As of today, I'm 11 pounds heavier than I was the day we found out we were pregnant with Annie. I'm excited that Iím getting so close to my pre-preggo weight. I still have a lot of fat to lose, though, so with a much more strict week next week, I should be on my way.
Friday, November 01, 2013
Another week in the books! Sunday will be Week 5 since I've been on the carb nite diet, and as of today, I'm down 8.2lbs (over 5% body weight lost), of which (according to my tanita body fat scale), almost 6 of those pounds are fat! That's excellent. It's about 70% fat loss, which I think I'd rather the number be a little higher, but I do know that at the beginning of any weight loss diet, a portion does come from muscle, and another portion from water/glucose stores. I'm just glad I'm seeing the body fat percentage drop on my scale, too. Down almost 2% body fat. SWEET. So, as of today, I'm down 1.6lbs from last week, and my body fat percentage is down 1.3%. I do know and understand that this percentage fluctuates a LOT depending on how hydrated I am, so the 1.3% is likely not even close to accurate, but the drop does wonders for my confidence and motivation. It is helping me stay strict during the week, and helps keep my willpower up. Definitely, my willpower is tempted daily, hourly, during this Halloween season! Another good thing about seeing that big drop is that I think it signifies that now that I've been doing this for 5 weeks, the initial slow fat loss is over, now that my excess water/glucose stores are gone, and that any lean muscle mass loss is finished. Yes, if I go back to eating carbs in excess, I will gain back that water/glucose store weight again, and quickly. Beyond that, though, fat gain should be slower. But, why would I ever want to eat carbs in excess? This losing fat/gaining fat/losing fat/gaining fat is for the birds.
Speaking of Halloween, I did have two pieces of mini heath bars last night. By mini, I really mean it. They were like 1" long! And, only 4.3 carbs each. All sugar, so definitely an indulgence, and not allowed on a typical non-carb-nite night. However, it was Halloween, and I was good all day (and since Sunday), and had more than enough room for the extra 8.6 carbs in my day, so... I did it. And, I don't feel guilty. AND, I still weighed in 3 pounds less today than yesterday. Huzzah! (3 pounds normally would be a lot, but because of the carb nite on Saturday, I was still holding on to extra water and glucose, so finally it's all gone. AND, I also weighed myself BEFORE Annie's first feeding, so my boobs were super full from not nursing for a good 8+ hours. Not that the milk weighs 3 pounds, but it added to it.)
Now, that brings up a good point about carb nite. Some people might say, well, if you're losing so much weight, and you're down to another new low each week, why would you go and have a carb nite and ruin your loss? Why would you deliberately eat junky carby stuff, just to fill up your water/glucose stores again, and see larger numbers on the scale (than your most recent low) for 4-5 days? Why not keep going and not have a carb nite at all? The answer lies in the science. If you keep going and stay in ketosis, eventually, the fat burning slows, and you end up doing more harm to your body than good. So, the carb (insulin) spike basically revitalizes the fat burning process. It definitely means a slower pace of fat loss, especially for women (of course... this diet works best for men... bastards!), but from what I've read online and from talking to people who've actually stuck with this diet, it freaking works! Google 'cyclical ketogenic diet' if you're not getting enough info from googling 'carb nite'. Plus, I always end up bingeing if going super strict for too long, so this carb nite helps me stay the course during the week.
Oh yeah, did I mention that I haven't exercised since LAST Monday... almost 2 weeks ago? I WILL be getting back to crossfit regularly in February, once I can go to the 5am religiously without having to worry about Annie waking up and my boobs not there to feed her. For now, though, I take my sleep when I can, I go to work, and if I can get into the gym I do, but since my diet is in check, I'm not killing myself to work out. Yes, I know my strength will plummet, my speed and endurance will tank, but that's something I can put a lot more effort into later. I will be back at the gym next week - this week was tough since Dean is studying for a test, and we had major constipation issues with Donnie (and now, after a MAJOR blow-out inducing regimen of stool softeners as directed by his doctor this week, we may be on the road to regular poops and potty training!!!) so, life has been hectic. And, I've just wanted to be with my kids during their waking hours. So, sometimes, something's gotta give, and this week, it was the gym. And I'm cool with it. I'm wearing smaller clothes! No more maternity clothes for me! Heck yeah! :)
Tomorrow, my carb nite is going to start a few hours early! We really miss Indian food, and going there for dinner just isn't as cost-effective, nor as fulfilling as when we go during the lunch buffet. So, Indian lunch buffet it is! We'll have to stop eating around 8, but that's OK.
That's it for this update. I'll check in again next Friday. I hope to see 145 in two weeks.
Friday, October 25, 2013
What an interesting past couple of weeks! On September 28, my crossfit gym began an 8-week wellness challenge. Participants can earn 5 points daily, 1 each for sticking to the rules for the nutrition aspect, exercising 20 minutes or more, mobility (stretching, etc.) for 10 minutes or more, taking fish oil, and checking in with your accountability partner. Although I've participated in wellness challenges with my gym before (3 times, to be exact), this time it is completely different.
The past three challenges have all been paleo challenges, where we strictly adhere to the "rules" of being paleo, PLUS a few additional restrictions (no sugar in any form whatsoever (which means, no bacon! What?!)). In addition to points, each participant is weighed before and after the challenge (and your score is based on body weight percentage lost), and they are also tested physically before and after (usually 3 parts: 800m run for time, strict shoulder press, and then a 10minute AMRAP (as many rounds/reps as possible) of a simple metcon workout). The first time, Fall 2011, I did well and came in 2nd place, aided greatly by not losing points because I was super strict, did well in all physical aspects, and I lost about 14 pounds. The second time, Spring 2012, I started that challenge up 12 pounds from the 14 I had lost with the first challenge. I came in third place by losing 16 pounds. However, I shouldn't have even gained back those initial 12 pounds anyway. So, that is sort of a cheap placing. Anyway, I got down to the lowest weight I've ever seen on my scale - 128lbs. 2 weeks later, I got pregnant with Annie, and it was about 6 weeks after weighing in at 128 that I was already back to 134.8 (the day I found out I was pregnant). 7 lb weight gain in roughly 6 weeks. I did the third challenge when I was pregnant with Annie during the Fall 2012, with a goal of NOT gaining weight (as I had already gained over 20 from when I found out I was pregnant, and was roughly 18 weeks preggo at that point). I wasn't strict, didn't care about winning, and ended up gaining another 15 pounds anyway. I like cupcakes. Sue me! ;)
The point of me telling you about these past challenges (ignore the third challenge (preggo)), is to point out my own flaws which have kept me from being successful in the long term. When it comes to being competitive, I will really do what it takes to win, or come close. I have amazing will power when I'm challenged to display it. But, when the challenge is over, when there is no longer any competition (or accountability), I basically give up on any healthy tools/practices that were obviously working. I gain the weight back. I no longer say no to cookies, chocolate, bread, pasta, muffins, donuts, or whatever it is that looks "good". I might say "no" a few times to make myself believe I'm trying to be healthy, but I don't stay away from them like I know I should. Another thing is that during the challenges, I am SO strict that when I'm finally free from the rules, I go a little crazy. I will totally binge, and make it a week-long/month-long mega bingefest. Disgusting.
So, why is this current challenge different? To start, it is not a paleo diet. The problem with a paleo challenge is that you can still paleo-ify anything, like paleo bread, paleo apple crumble, paleo brownies, etc., and still technically be within the challenge rules (apples, berries, dates can definitely sweeten foods without falling squarely in the "sugar" category, even though technically, that's the point of using them - they're sweetening the food). Therefore, paleo-ifying your food might make it 'healthier' and gluten-free (and 'whole'), but the food will still have the possibility of packing on the pounds, as it can still be high in carbs, as well as fat. This current challenge is an ultra-low carb diet. I can eat whatever I want, as long as I don't consume more than 30g of usable carbs a day (usable carbs = carbs - fiber). In addition, we're employing Intermittent Fasting - we don't eat until noon each day, which lets our fat-burning continue from the night through the morning.
Back in the day, I would have said, CRAZY! You NEED carbs! A diet without them is unbalanced! However, for those that have known me a while, you may recall in the spring/summer of 2009, I did a cyclical ketogenic diet for a month, and lost 7 pounds. Shorltly after that month, I got pregnant with Donnie, and decided to stop the diet because I was afraid it wasn't good for the baby. I just didn't know the science behind that diet. Nowadays, I've read enough to know that it's actually NOT a bad thing to cut starchy, sugary carbs from my diet. My milk supply hasn't been affected, and in fact it's even creamier/fatter than before, meaning Annie is getting the fat she NEEDS - babies' brains need fat to grow! I've read both Why We Get Fat (Gary Taubes) and The Carb Nite Solution (John Kiefer), and both provide the irrefutable science and proven studies behind diets that actually target fat loss. We've all been so misled by flawed studies of the 1950s/1960s/1970s, and have been taught to believe that the only way we can lose weight is by calorie cutting. The problem is that our bodies are so much more complex than the simple 'calories in/calories out' notion. More importantly, our body processes each type of calorie differently. Your body responds differently to carbs than it does to fat than it does to protein. We all know that a gram of protein does not contain the same number of calories that a gram of fat does. Why do we think that it doesn't matter what our caloric intake consists of, as long as it's below a certain number? Why would we be surprised that we hit weight-loss plateaus due to being in starvation mode? That the weight comes back quick, with a vengeance, when we stop? That it's so much harder to lose weight with each successive round? That to get things going again in a calorie-restricted diet that we must cut calories even further than before, eating less and less and getting hungrier, angrier, depressed? Why is it acceptable to lose lean muscle mass in addition to fat? Why would we think that living on a calorie-restricted diet for the rest of our lives is any way to properly live?
Luckily, I read the aforementioned books, and I no longer am afraid of eating a lot of meat, some veggies, no fruit, and a lot of fat. I'm losing fat, not muscle and fat. I'm in ketosis and life is grand. If you question what I'm saying, check the books out and read them for yourself. Go to Amazon and read the reviews of these books. You'll find an overwhelming number of positive reviews, many for people who have employed the low-carb lifestyle to great success.
Of course, not everyone can live a low-carb lifestyle, and I'm talking about CrossFit games athletes (or any super competitive CFers), endurance athletes, etc. Those people, however, are already fit. The goal of their diets is not fat loss. Their goals involve proper fueling for peak performance. Those individuals exercise for HOURS every single day. I am not one of those individuals, and their goals are not mine. My goal is to lose fat. Not weight (combo of fat/muscle). FAT. Therefore, it's not appropriate to compare my diet to that of an elite athlete. They need their carbs. They aren't fat. I'm not running marathons here.
So, back to the challenge. On Saturday the 28th of September, we did our weigh-ins (including body fat percentage on a tanita scale (which we know isn't super accurate, but creates a baseline)), our physical assessments, and got the rules down. That night and day, we were free to eat whatever. The real challenge did not begin until the next day, Sunday the 29th of September. This challenge includes a twist, though. Every Saturday, starting at 4pm and ending at midnight, we are REQUIRED to take a treat night. We are encouraged to eat whatever carby food we want - all with the purpose of creating a spike in insulin, and other hormones, which then get metabolism burning again and giving the fat burning process an extra boost. (without this weekly spike, your hormones actually work against you in the long run - the Carb Nite Solution for more information as to why - it's too long to write out, but believe me, it WORKS). I freaking LOVE the 'treat night' (aka Carb Nite)!!! I am now able to 'treat' myself without any guilt whatsoever!!!! In the past, 'cheating' always resulted in guilt and feeling bad about myself, and making promises to be 'good' for the next x number of days. Now, however, I'm required to take a Carb Nite, and there's a scientific process that's proven to burn fat faster (just don't weigh yourself the next few days without understanding the number on the scale is going to be a little higher). All due to your cells re-filling with glucose and water (not fat), only to be lost within the next couple of days, plus more fat will be gone, too.
I did not weigh myself on the 29th because... the night before, I drank A LOT, and ate A LOT as we celebrated Dean's bday, and I just didn't want to see how much I weighed. But, on the 28th, I weighed in at 155.6 (home scale). Today, almost 4 weeks later, I weighed in at 149.0. F YEAH! I am FINALLY back in the 140s. I am wearing pants I haven't worn in over a YEAR... The best part is that I'm happy, not starving, not feeling guilty, and food is so much more fun again. I look forward to making rice krispy treats on Saturdays just so I can nosh on them without feeling bad about myself. Things are GREAT.
Another reason this challenge is different? I'm now a staff member of my gym, so I cannot win anything. That means that the competitive aspect is gone. However, I'm still kicking butt. In 4 weeks, other than carb nites on Saturdays, I have not cheated once. I have not exceeded 30g carbs, and usually am in the teens to low 20s. Dean is also doing this challenge with me, so staying 'strict' at home is easy. Based on the past 4 weeks, this is definitely something I will be able to do for the long term. The absence of guilt, competition, starvation, and 100% strictness, in addition to the required 'treat' means I do not feel deprived, and I can totally rock it out. In the past, I would be anxiously awaiting the end of the challenge, just so I could binge and eat whatever I wanted without losing points! I would plan out whatever treats/junk I could eat as soon as the diet/challenge was over. With this diet, I get to do that every Saturday! Therefore, I am not at all waiting out the days until this is done. I feel like I could do it for forever!
My goal is to lose another ~15 pounds by Jan 31 (Annie's birthday) so I will be back at the weight I was on the day I found out we were pregnant with Annie. Being realistic, I will make December a little loosey-goosey since the Holidays are too much fun to miss out on, and we have a vacation and several trips planned. I plan on taking a carb nite on Thanksgiving day, the week we're in Disney (I'll be 'good' but not perfect), and then allow for carb nites/treats for holiday parties, Christmas eve, Christmas, new year's eve. I will likely gain some weight back during December, but I'm not worried. It won't be a permanent gain, and it will be mostly water and glucose stores. I'll get back to the regular protocol (Sun - Sat. mid day: ultra-low carb, sat evening: carb nite) on Jan 1. I might not be at my goal on Jan 31, but I will definitely be closer than I would be if I were doing any of the past 'diets', which I can never seem to commit to for the long run.
So... there's my super long blog and explanation for where I've been the past month. I could go ON AND ON about ketogenic diets/carb night solution/why fat doesn't make you fat (unless you have a high carb diet), but I've written enough. I plan on checking in weekly from here on out, because I'll want to keep track of my progress and have notes to look back on if I ever need to. All I know is that this is something I really feel like I can do for the long-run, until I'm where I want to be. Oh gosh, there's so much more to this that makes me feel that way, but I'll save it for another blog. We'll call it: Why Low Calorie Diets Don't Work Based on My Own Experience. Spoiler alert: lost muscle mass sucks.
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
Well, it's been a while since I posted an update, and it is because I was embarrassed... I did not stick to my plan, and did not meet my goal, and instead I've been eating crappy and have gained almost all of the weight back. I'm still in the 150s, but barely. So, I've been avoiding this website because I felt guilty, and didn't want to hear it from you all. I give myself enough of a hard time.
But, then again, I don't give myself enough of a hard time! I mean, sometimes, I am just way too lax. I allow myself to eat super carby, non-nutritious food just because I see it. I let myself bake food I shouldn't be eating! And then my sleep is disrupted, my schedule goes to hell, and I start a downward spiral of negativity and self-hate! What the hell?! And, you know what, sometimes I DO need you all to kick me in the big fat ass!
So, I logged in yesterday. I decided to go back and read my blogs from when I was post-partum with Donnie, and had the vow renewal/wedding in the DR to work towards. I wanted to know: What was different? Why did I do so well three years ago? What did I do that made me reach my goal so much quicker? Why am I two months behind where I was three years ago? This post will be long, but I'm doing it for myself, for the next time around if we do have a third. I need to stop being afraid of what you readers will say - this is for me, and I need to log my thoughts and have them to go back to.
I realized a few things.
1) I had a goal and it involved me in a wedding dress, and photos of the event to be displayed forever. That increased the urgency and motivation a LOT.
2) I only had 1 child to take care of back then, so exercising was easier - Donnie didn't move, so taking him on runs was easy. Today, he doesn't want to just sit in a stroller for 30 minutes to an hour. He wants to play. He wants to do other things. In addition, I have to actually cook for him, not plop him on my boob. He has a lot more needs to fill than he did 3 years ago. And, then there's Annie, who does need me to plop her on my boob, while I'm also cooking dinner, cleaning bottles, cleaning pump flanges, changing poopy diapers, cleaning cloth diapers (yes! We're doing that!), and work, commute, etc.
3) I didn't make myself crazy and try to go 6 weeks at a time without cheating. I ate well during the week, logged my food sometimes, and had cheats. I enjoyed myself on Saturdays, sometimes Sundays, and lost 4 pounds a month. That's it! Why am I right now trying to lose 8-10 pounds a month, just to keep up with the weight loss timeline I did with Donnie?
I made crazy goals this time, put myself up to crazy challenges, and beat myself up when I failed. And, neglected to factor in the fact that I'm a mother to 2, with a lot of stuff going on! And, I'm nursing!
My goal now is to just relax. Stop giving myself a hard time, and get back on the wagon for most of the week. To not try to lose 10 pounds in 4-6 weeks, but instead focus on 1 pound a week. In 3 - 4 months, I'll be farther along this way, instead of what I've been doing the past 3-4 months (going nuts for a few weeks, then going nuts in the other direction for a few weeks, get sad, repeat cycle).
I am proud to say my clothes are looser, I'm getting stronger, and in general, I'm getting there. Slowly. If it weren't for me, I'd be there now! I actually finally broke down and bought a pair of work pants a size bigger than I wanted. My closet is full of size 4 pants that I cannot fit into without looking completely obscene, especially if I manage to zip them up. My closet has only a handful of size 6s and 8s, and they just fit me so weirdly. Like, super loose in the thighs, but tight in the stomach. Or they fit OK in the thighs, butt and tummy, but are too short and look ridiculous! So, I've mostly been wearing maternity pants with the stretchy full tummy cover, but they're getting too big and too loose, and also look ridiculous. I wanted to not have to buy any additional pants, but since I'm taking longer getting to my size 4s, I decided to just buy a pair of the gap pants I love (and have 3 pairs of in size 4) in a size 6. There was a 35% off sale recently, so I did it. They arrived today at work (um, is it bad I have stuff shipped to work so my hubby doesn't know how much I shop online?! Hahah), and they look pretty damned good! A wee bit tight in the upper thigh/butt area, but no muffin-top, great length, and my butt looks cute (according to a coworker). Yes! This is just what I needed. A small bit of non-scale success.
I do believe that wearing maternity pants is hurting my confidence and my mojo right now. I'm almost 7 months post-partum... It makes me feel a little like a failure that I'm still in them. But, the only reason I'm in them is because I don't have anything appropriate in my closet because I'm too cheap to buy clothes I don't plan on wearing for forever. But, you know what? After putting these new pants on, I decided it's worth it. I need to wear regular clothes for the mental booster, even if it's only for the next 3 months. Ah, I love it when I give myself good reasons to indulge in retail therapy! ;)
So, this weekend we are out of town, but when we're back I am tackling my closet and putting the maternity clothes away. Really, I'm only wearing 3 pairs of maternity pants, but there's too much clutter weighing me down.
My workouts are going pretty well, and I find myself getting stronger, going faster, and just loving crossfit again. I'd love to get back to the 5am workouts again, but annie's sleep is too unpredictable, so I'm just going when I can and not making myself feel guilty about it. I went on Sunday morning to a make-up WOD, which worked well. I'll just have to do that more often when life gets in the way during the week. I'm going to an Olympic lifting WOD today, and I'm super excited. Dean ordered lifting shoes for me this morning, so I'm super stoked to get those!
As for eating - you know, the 80% of the equation - I've been on track this week. And, I decided to cancel my pre-made paleo meals. I dropped down to 3 a week, but after this week, I'm not going to do it. The cafe in the building next to ours has a very diverse salad bar, plus a hot bar that always has warm veggies and at least 1 protein. And, even if I add heavy things like a full hard-boiled egg, etc., my salads have always been $8 or less, which is cheaper than the $10/meal plan. In addition, I'm definitely going to eat more veggies and less carbs. The paleo meals are great, but they are zone portioned, meaning they definitely use starchy carbs and paleo bread to ensure the proper carb/fat/protein ratio. Right now, I need to stay away from starchy carbs and bread, at least during the work week. I even said no to a twinkie yesterday. Hahaha....
I feel much better today. I have a new goal of only 4 pounds a month. That's a lot more realistic considering my life right now. I won't see this goal realized for August, but that's OK. September will be better, and I'm just hoping by the end of November, I'll be bikini-comfortable for our vacation. At 4 pounds a month, no doubt I'll be more comfortable in my skin.
Friday, July 26, 2013
Last week, after my blog entry, I was feeling fine and strong. But, I didn't mention that my best friend from high school was coming into town on saturday for a night... and, well, less than 12 hours later, I was cheating!
On Saturday morning, I went to wegman's to do some shopping, but I ended up getting a bunch of snacks and other food items I normally wouldn't... My reasoning was that the kids would want some snacks when we went to the pool. I got doritos, smartfood popcorn, wheat thins, tostitos scoops, and granola bars. I ate doritos, popcorn, and a granola bar! And, I had wine! And, you know what, I did not feel guilty or bad! It was just one day.... Although, that night we went to my parents and I totally had her homemade strawberry shortbread and brownies... and then we went to Zinga and I shared frozen yogurt with a bunch of candy with Donnie! I didn't eat as much as I normally would, but it was still more than I should have!
I really didn't feel bad that I ended my streak at 22 days of clean eating. I made a conscious decision to enjoy myself and my company that day, and it was great. I woke up on Sunday, and was 2.6 pounds heavier. Not TOO bad, and expected.
Then, we took Donnie to see a movie. I ate popcorn. More than I did the last time... uh oh. And, the sweets and junk from the day before had started a trigger, so on Sunday, I really overdid it and had more brownies, and another granola bar! I did have a few tostitos with guacamole, but not too many. It was the bunch of brownies I ate that put me over the limit. Dang, I ate ilke 6, no joke. Ugh. So, I did start feeling guilty and bad about my choices. I weighed in on Monday another 2 pounds up. EEK! I felt really bad about myself. :(
However, I turned it back around. It wasn't until Thursday that I was back to where I was a week ago, and today I'm down another 0.2 pounds from last week. Not my LOWEST since I started this 6-week stretch, but i'm only up 0.2 pounds from that point, so I'm basically there.
So, I think I learned a few things:
1) Do not have 2 cheat days in a row. It really messes with my head and confidence. I seriously felt VERY FAT for a few days, and it really made me upset. 1 cheat day (or meal would be better!) is a lot easier to recover from versus 2 days or more.
2) Get right back on that horse as soon as possible, and drink a lot of water!
3) Since this is a lifestyle change, getting upset over a 1- or 2-day setback is ridiculous and could end up making me fall even deeper - since I'm an emotional eater, it would be easy to just turn to food. Vicious cycle!
4) 1 cheat item makes it easy to turn into 2 cheat items, into an entire meal, afternoon, day, days, week, etc. If I can recognize this now, it will help me select my cheats wisely, and realize I need to make the next item/meal healthy to get it out of my system.
I am not upset I didn't make it 42 or 43 days straight. That's OK - I have a long time ahead of me to break my streaks. For now, I'm 2 weeks away from the wedding I'm going to. I don't honestly think I will see much changes in my body between then and now without doing anything drastic. I do not plan on doing anything drastic - that leads to binges on my part. So, I'll just keep plugging along, allowing myself a cheat here or there and not beating myself up over it. I'm in this for the long haul.
Oh yeah, I totally wore a pair of size 6 pants to work this week. Muffin top? Yes... so I wore a loose top. But, it wasn't tight on my ass and thighs, so i'm making progress. :)
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