Sunday, June 16, 2013
I am seriously going to get a personal thank you to all Sparkies who have left me such warm words of encouragement.
But for now, I want to retract all of my previous self-pity ramblings - that's not me. At least, it's not really me *any more*. I mean, I have suffered periods of depression, but I am not really quite in that state now; I guess I was just feeling sorry for myself. I do have a ton of stuff going on, some of which I have no control, but a lot of which I can control. I just need to focus on changing the things I can, and just letting the cards fall for all the rest. What I'm trying to say is that I'm sorry for allowing myself to get overwhelmed and lost in a pity party, and dragging you into it.
My ankle is not healing very fast, apparently it is a full out sprain rather than just a little twist (little twist sounds fun under any other circumstances! :D); so waiting for it to heal is really going to put my patience to the test. But I've chosen to consider this just another challenge, and I've already told you how I enjoy a challenge. Maybe this is just nature's way of letting me know that I really do have to do some floor exercises; I can't expect to do standing EVERYTHING! Of course, it's more (strike-through difficult) challenging than ever to get up and down to and from the floor...but it's what I have to do, so it's what I am doing.
I did do some standing hand weight work, but have decided that's probably not a good idea. That poor ankle has all it can handle with my body weight piled on top of it, making the idea of adding extra weight seem pretty silly in retrospect. Doh!
On a more positive note, I had a wonderful visit with my dad, an early Father's Day celebration, which kept me occupied all day yesterday, from 9 A.M. until 8:30 P.M., so I didn't get any exercise in at all and my ankle swelled so much that I thought it was going to burst! But I did get to spend the day with my 89 year old dad and his wife, as well as my sister and her husband. This visit kind of made up for the disappointment I felt during and after my trip to California, because I actually got to spend quality time talking with people I love. My expectations for the CA trip were unrealistic, so I was just setting myself up for a disappointment, and I got it. I know better, I don't know why I let that happen; but hindsight and all that...blah blah blah
I need food, caffeine, and a brain defragmentation immediately, after which I'll be back to send personal thank-yous and to report on how things are (or aren't) working for me.
Thursday, June 13, 2013
Thanks to everyone who responded to my last post, affirming that my Spark friends really are always here for me!
I didn't disappear again, I am truly just too busy...albeit a great deal of that activity is inside my head...to keep up with these posts on a daily basis right now. I have a ton of family matters which are consuming my thoughts and my time, but I really have been trying to get myself firmly on track again. Or even semi-firmly on track. The main thing is, I haven't given up, although my nutrition certainly has suffered.
On top of that, the weather has been so gloomy, cold, and/or rainy that I went crazy when we finally got a nice day on Monday (I think) and, after completing a ten minute "All About Arms" workout, I decided to take in some air and go for a little hike. About two miles into the hike I twisted my ankle and fell; and, of course, had to walk/hike two miles with an intensely painful left ankle, not to mention a painfully bruised right calf (from the landing) before I was able to sit down and finally remove my shoe...carefully (hurt!).
Now, I'm 57 years old, so I'm sure a lot of you understand how much longer everything takes to heal at this age, and just when I was really starting to "feel it" again, too. That was actually my first concern as I tried to walk once I had pulled myself up from the ground - all I could think was that my cardio workouts were surely going to suffer NOW! I wish I could say that they haven't, but I haven't been able to find my groove with those chair exercises or anything else that is twisted-ankle-friendly. I know there are plenty of them out there, I just can't seem to find my place there...sitting in a chair to exercise. I surely hope this heals faster than all those other ailments. HA! Those other ailments have never healed, I guess...so I REALLY hope this ankle does better than those!!!
Anyway, I hate to complain but I have more problems right now than I know how to handle, so please forgive me when I'm not around as much as I should be; as I'd like to be. I'm just overwhelmed, and hanging on to any thread I can grasp for now. I need a life coach or something. Having no money can sure make it hard to take care of oneself at times. I just don't know where to turn anymore :( BUT, I won't stop trying!
Wednesday, June 05, 2013
Well, maybe it is how it looks, but not entirely. I mean, I've never given any thought to just giving up (this time), but I just couldn't get my head back in the game after my CA trip last month. Without going into details, by the time I got back home I was nothing but depressed. I had only minimal interest in working out, definitely not enough interest to actually DO anything, and I had even less interest in my diet and nutrition program. This is all bad...but the good news is, I'm still here, and ready to be accountable and get back on the program (despite the lingering depression).
I have a lot to say, but am not feeling like saying it just now, so just know that I haven't given up again - not entirely, anyway.
Friday, May 10, 2013
Yesterday I talked about nearly killing myself from overexertion (huge exaggeration) and being fatigued and sore for two days, unable to really work out, doing a LOT of sleeping and wondering how much of that was attributable to the exertion and how much was just more of the chronic pain I've been dealing with these past few years. Well, now I've decided (drum roll).....................................
I'm still not sure. The good news is, I was able to get back to working out yesterday, and felt stronger than ever after those two unplanned rest days. I plan to work out today as well, despite being fatigued due to lack of sleep, so maybe not try to do quite so much so that I don't need so much recovery time. And so that I don't end up in more pain than necessary (as if chronic pain is necessary, but ?).
If one were to find oneself really bored and decided to look over my previous blog entries, one would likely notice a pattern of overexertion followed by "crashing". I wonder if one might know how I should go about changing that pattern (open ended sentence, as if I drifted off into thought before I could add the period to end the sentence)
Thursday, May 09, 2013
I am honestly not sure what the problem has been these past couple days, but there has definitely been a problem. Without a specific diagnosis of fibromyalgia, I am claiming it as the most likely cause of this chronic pain, fatigue, stress, anxiety, depression, migraines, "fog", and other symptoms I've been dealing with, more and more as time goes by. I had made the decision, just a couple days ago, that I would just have to workout as much and as hard as I could, WHEN I could, to make up for the days that I'm barely able to do anything. In hindsight, that might not have been the best idea...but I'm still trying to decide. What I'm now concerned about is the possibility that I may have, by over doing it one day, just created more pain for myself in the following days. I need to find more information on how do deal with this, because it's really making a mess of my plans! One thing I DO know, if I do, indeed have fibromyalgia, my case is nowhere near as bad as many I have read about. I have chronic pain, but it is seldom debilitating pain, unlike that which many others who are dealing with this condition report. If this is what I have, I'm one of the luckier ones! I'm lucky anyway, because being able to group all these symptoms together and putting a name on it is a good feeling. :)
Anyway, back to business: I haven't *really* worked out in two days. On Day 1 (Monday) I felt strong, and had little pain - stuff that could be ignored. I did a 10 minute upper body workout and 30 minute cardio workout (low impact, medium intensity - which, for me, is high intensity!). It felt good, I felt good, so I got a bunch of housework done, really pushed the "NEAT" activities (adding squats, lunges, leg raises whenever possible); and finally, just before the sun was going to set, I walked to and through the park, including a very steep grade uphill portion which has always been high intensity for me, but in my current fitness state was VERY high intensity. I also got a blister on my foot ;) I felt like Wonder Woman by the time I was finished!
On day 2, I woke up too early (aka not enough sleep) and seriously aching from the previous day's workouts. Unfortunately, I didn't even think about stretching after the "high intensity walk", despite the fact that my glutes were on fire while I walked the incline. So my butt, thighs, calves, shoulders and arms were all sore in addition to the chronic pain points that always hurt. I took a hot bath to soothe the aching muscles, immediately followed by a cool shower to (hopefully) reduce the inflammation. I felt good, and needed some groceries, so walked the block to the grocery store. Carried my basket of groceries through the store, and ended up with two tote bags full of groceries. As I am a TOTAL DORK, I carried these bags home, alternating between bicep curls and lateral raises through the entire walk. Got home, put the groceries away, sat down "just for a few minutes" and never really quite recovered. No official workout that day :(
I woke up on Day 3 hurting more than ever, and in a total mental fog. I'm talking foggy! But I was clear minded enough to notice a SP post on FB regarding stretching...so I did about 15 minutes worth of slow stretching, hoping to get my muscles feeling better. Sat down do drink some water, and ended up going back to sleep. Repeated the last two events most of the remainder of the day. Well, actually, for the rest of the day...no workout that day either, other than the stretching exercises. What's worse, my nutrition plan went all to heck as well. That seems to be a pattern, if I go more than a day without a real workout, my diet suffers as well. I have to find a way to work on that. I think that when I'm working out, I will just choose to exercise when I am craving something I don't really want or need to eat; but if I'm unable to work out, I eat it.
Day 4, TODAY, I am in another kind of pain, lol. The muscle aches from the previous two days have all but disappeared, I still have the chronic back/hip pain, and now the other hip is hurting, MORE! This is almost comical...but I don't really think it's enough to make me miss another workout. So that is the plan for as soon as I've finished this blog...right about now!
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