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Help .. Why is this so hard??

Tuesday, December 04, 2012

Yesterday started on a positive note. However, it didn't stay that way. Gloomy foggy day that seemed to match my mood when I got to work. Nothing seemed to go right. Missing stock,
computer errors..I could go on and on. The dampness makes my body ache more. I'm riding
an emotional roller coaster that doesn't want to stop. My depression is a major cause, but I'm sure other forces are at play also. Lack of appreciation at home & work doesn't help either. I
just want to run away. Why am I here ???

Goals results for 12/3

Keep a positive attitude: NO it didn't last & was unable to get it back
Exercise 10 minutes: YES Worked with weights
Eat Healthy: SOMEWHAT, but in the end Chocolate won!!
Make medication a priority: NO
Reduce clutter: NO
Practice gratitude: NO


I'm hoping that today will be better. No I'm not giving up, just looking for answers or suggestions

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ROSIEPD 12/4/2012 1:48PM

    Sometimes I read a post and think "We need to grab a drink together". Or maybe in this case a cool refreshing glass of water with a nice slice of lemon ;-). I felt much like you a few weeks ago - it was hormonal for me. Could not shake it. Add to that a myriad of frustrations at work, and it just whomps you. You did your exercise...that's good. Try to add two more things today...take your meds (no excuses) and practice gratitude - or just do something nice for someone, even if it is just to smile and say "have a great day". Be who you dream of becoming today...for you.
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RIBKNIT 12/4/2012 12:12PM

    Thanks for sharing. I deal with most of the same issues. One symptom of depression is that a positive attitude is next to impossible to maintain consistently, so don't put too much blame on yourself.
I have found that breaking things down into very small steps makes it easier. Also temporarily lowering my clutter standards.
I use a SAD (seasonal affective disorder) light and sit in front of it every morning.
About medication - you can get sick by stopping it cold turkey; I suggest either tapering off if you really don't want to take it, or setting the pills where you have to almost trip over them to make it easier.
Posting here is probably one of the best things you can do for yourself - congrats on doing it! emoticon



Comment edited on: 12/4/2012 12:19:23 PM

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SEPTEMBERSPIRIT 12/4/2012 9:05AM

    I know depression in of itself 'hurts' and the gloomy weather doesn't help I'm sure.

BUT - I know for sure that each and every day you can find something to be grateful for - and perhaps start a gratitude journal so that you can focus on those 'good' points - you will attract more.

Just take it one day at a time - yesterday is gone. When things go wrong as we know they sometimes do... we just have to keep plugging away and know that the BEST is yet to come!!

We're here to support you!!

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MIMIDOT 12/4/2012 8:21AM

    My only suggestion for you is to stick to your goal. Looks like you have a real good one listed. Hope today is better for you. Smile! Good luck!

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END OF YEAR ... GOING TO MAKE DECEMBER COUNT!!

Monday, December 03, 2012

November wasn't my best month. I did not achieve the goals I desired. I need to push myself out of my comfort zone & push myself forward.

New Goals for December are:

Continue to reduce clutter
Keep a positive attitude..Don't let negative thoughts overcome you
Exercise for 10 minutes each day
Eat Healthy .. Write it down
Make yourself accountable
Make medications a priority
Practice Gratitude





  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ALADY2BE 12/3/2012 12:01PM

    I am with you. I usually start off in January totally hyped. However, January 2013 will be a continuation from Dec 2012. Indeed, let's ,make December count!!!

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SEPTEMBERSPIRIT 12/3/2012 9:05AM

    emoticon goals! emoticon

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Moving forward

Saturday, November 10, 2012

Norman Vincent Peale wrote" Stand up to your obstacles & do something about them.
You will find that they haven't half the strength you think they have"

It's time for me to start moving forward again. I'm not sure how far I will get this time.
One day at a time is how I will proceed. I need to refocus on what I want to accomplish,
so I have reset my goals.

New goals are:

Exercise every day for at least 10 minutes.
Try doing Tai Chi, Qi Gong and Yoga ( 1 day a week)
Get to the gym on the weekends - Use the bike, pool, & weight machines
Write down everything I eat in food journal
Focus on being positive
Center my mind & body...Try medication?

Weight goal is three lbs for November

First & foremost, love myself.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

QUENNEVILLE 11/23/2012 8:56PM

    Hope you are doing well with reaching your goals. emoticon

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SEPTEMBERSPIRIT 11/14/2012 8:35PM

    Self-Love is truly key to our success!! emoticon

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RIBKNIT 11/12/2012 11:52AM

    One day at a time sounds like a great idea, in fact what else can we really do? Congrats on setting your new goals!

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ANGRITTER 11/11/2012 6:01AM

    I love your goals - best of all the loving yourself part. I forget to do that at times. I just skip that part and move on. HA Too many years have passed where I have ignored myself and it's time to get a little selfish.

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WAREAGLEGIRL 11/10/2012 10:35PM

    Good luck on your journey! I have several of the same goals too! Definitely a good idea to take it all one day at a time! emoticon

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DMEYER4 11/10/2012 10:33PM

  great goals . good luck

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Feeling lost

Sunday, November 04, 2012

For the past few weeks I've been feeling lost. It's like I can't seem to get myself motivated to start moving forward again. Yes, I do want to move forward. I want and need to get myself healthy. Feel like I;m stuck in quick sand, unable to free myself. I need to dig deep within...Remove the road blocks (Not sure what they are??) ...,so I'm looking for some suggestions, possibly some support.

My health conditions do not help. They would be greatly improved if I lost more weight.
I do feel over whelmed by my heath, I am completely out of my comfort zone with medication. I am now on medication for depression. I don't sleep well, I have sleep apnea, and sciatica pain at night. Ra is active, Fibro leaves me in a fog. These are just a few of my health issues.

I really hope that someone can offer some suggestions. They are very much appreciated.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RIBKNIT 11/6/2012 12:37PM

    My suggestion is that you continue to blog and/or journal in order to stay in touch with where you're at, and see where you are making progress :)

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NESARIAN 11/4/2012 12:17PM

    What am I going to do today to move forward? This questions helps me maintain focus and gives me the option to choose which goal to focus on for the day.

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ROSIEPD 11/4/2012 9:53AM

    I think all of us grapple with those times that things seem SO hard and it's just difficult to DO. I read your sparkpage, and you've set a lot of goals for yourself. That would be overwhelming for me - so many chances to beat myself up over not doing well. I need successes! You've really made progress on your weight loss, and you are right that continuing on that path WILL help with your other medical issues. Everyone is different in what motivates them, but for me - I'd taper the goals to something realistic but that changes a habit, gets me moving even if it isn't formal exercise, or clear my mind.... like, don't sit on the couch for more than 15 minutes, organize a closet this week - something it is easy to measure and succeed at. It doesn't matter if it is simple or small thing - it's SOMEthing! It's okay to recognize a 'down' cycle - it's great that you just said "I'm overwhelmed" - blogging is a great step to say,. "Okay. that's how I feel. But today, I am going to ______________ despite how I feel". Fill in the blank with something you can accomplish, and go for it.

On another note, if you are overwhelmed by the meds, make sure you can talk to your doctor openly and honestly about what you are taking and any alternatives that would work better for you. Make yourself a note to call your doctor tomorrow!

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EILEEN828 11/4/2012 6:31AM

    I hear you. Wouldn't be surprised to find out that your meds for depression are affecting you because your new to them. They take awhile to adjust to, but if your really feeling out of your element and it doesn't seem to be getting better then I would suggest that you re-consult your doctor and ask for a change of dosage or different kind. My only experience of them is when I had shingles a pain med they prescribed for it was also for depression. It literally knocked me down for 20 hours a day.Since I really didn't need it for the shingles (I didn't really have pain) I stopped taking after 4 days. I've heard other people say that it takes time to get used to but ended up being really helpful. I like to sleep on my side and sometimes it helps to body hug a king size down feather pillow just to keep my upper half of my body from squashing down forward so much that my throat get closed up. Also I have a firm temperpedic pillow that holds my head up straight across and my shoulder tucks in under it. Like laying my head on a shelf. Both of these things really help to keep my throat straight and clear. The permanent solution is of course to lose the weight that is making my neck full which causes me to feel as though my throat is collapsing. According to my husband the snorer, I too, am a snorer. So the sooner I get healthy weight back the better. Just remember that sometimes things all go to pot at once and make you feel like crap but that doesn't mean it won't get better cause it will. Research as much as you can about your issues and start applying what you can in other ways. These things do help. Try to walk and drink water for starters. Good luck. emoticon

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TCANNO 11/4/2012 4:52AM

    Go back to what started you on the road to weight loss. Then take small steps getting bigger as the weeks go on.

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I will NOT quit

Tuesday, October 09, 2012

The past three weeks have taken there toll on me. On Sept. 14th I went to see my primary doctor for my check up. She took several test. She was very happy that I had lost some weight, told her I had gotten serious. We also discussed something that I was not comfortable talking about. I told her that for the past six months, I have episodes of crying for no reason. Several of these episodes happened while talking to my best friend. There was nothing unpleasant about in our talks. I just suddenly burst into tears. It happened at work, home, and scared me.

The doctor said that it is depression. The past two years have been tough years for me.
In 2010 I was diagnosed with diabetes. Early in 2011 I was told I had Fibromyalgia, RA,
Sjjogrens Syndrome, and that it was l most likely had others that could not be confirmed since my inflammation levels were still high. Both my doctor & Diabetes educator were concerned that I was not accepting it well,. My diabetes educator recommended Sparks
for support for my diabetes. They knew I had no support from family, and only a few people that I felt were supportive. I was told that my health conditions, along with a very low Vitamin D level can lead to depression. This has only made me feel worse.


My doc replaced one of my meds for Fibro. She feels that it will also help with the depression, Well This is my second week on the new medicine, & I am starting to feel a little more in control. I know that I need to start taking steps to get my life in balance.

I am learning that I need to continue to move forward. I need to push myself out of my comfort level. I cannot use the excuse that my body hurts, there is always something that can be done that will be a gentle form of exercise. (water, Tai CHi or yoga). I need to make
myself a priority. I have said this in the past, now is the time for action. I'm working on learning to love myself, to be positive, and reduce the negative that runs thru my head at times. It's a learning process. It starts with one step at a time, one day at a time. I started on this journey to get myself healthy..It has had many detours, challenges, and road blocks
along the way. Sometimes I get lost, but I will eventually find my way. I WILL NOT QUIT!!
One thing I have learned is that I am worth the effort. We all are. Never give up on yourself.



  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WONDERFUL2BME 10/10/2012 2:34AM

    I get emotional as well as I am losing. I think of each pound as a little weight bomb of emotions. I cr it out and let it go.


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KARIDIAN1 10/9/2012 8:32PM

    Hope things get better. Hang in there.

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