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Feeling lost

Sunday, November 04, 2012

For the past few weeks I've been feeling lost. It's like I can't seem to get myself motivated to start moving forward again. Yes, I do want to move forward. I want and need to get myself healthy. Feel like I;m stuck in quick sand, unable to free myself. I need to dig deep within...Remove the road blocks (Not sure what they are??) ...,so I'm looking for some suggestions, possibly some support.

My health conditions do not help. They would be greatly improved if I lost more weight.
I do feel over whelmed by my heath, I am completely out of my comfort zone with medication. I am now on medication for depression. I don't sleep well, I have sleep apnea, and sciatica pain at night. Ra is active, Fibro leaves me in a fog. These are just a few of my health issues.

I really hope that someone can offer some suggestions. They are very much appreciated.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RIBKNIT 11/6/2012 12:37PM

    My suggestion is that you continue to blog and/or journal in order to stay in touch with where you're at, and see where you are making progress :)

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NESARIAN 11/4/2012 12:17PM

    What am I going to do today to move forward? This questions helps me maintain focus and gives me the option to choose which goal to focus on for the day.

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ROSIEPD 11/4/2012 9:53AM

    I think all of us grapple with those times that things seem SO hard and it's just difficult to DO. I read your sparkpage, and you've set a lot of goals for yourself. That would be overwhelming for me - so many chances to beat myself up over not doing well. I need successes! You've really made progress on your weight loss, and you are right that continuing on that path WILL help with your other medical issues. Everyone is different in what motivates them, but for me - I'd taper the goals to something realistic but that changes a habit, gets me moving even if it isn't formal exercise, or clear my mind.... like, don't sit on the couch for more than 15 minutes, organize a closet this week - something it is easy to measure and succeed at. It doesn't matter if it is simple or small thing - it's SOMEthing! It's okay to recognize a 'down' cycle - it's great that you just said "I'm overwhelmed" - blogging is a great step to say,. "Okay. that's how I feel. But today, I am going to ______________ despite how I feel". Fill in the blank with something you can accomplish, and go for it.

On another note, if you are overwhelmed by the meds, make sure you can talk to your doctor openly and honestly about what you are taking and any alternatives that would work better for you. Make yourself a note to call your doctor tomorrow!


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EILEEN828 11/4/2012 6:31AM

    I hear you. Wouldn't be surprised to find out that your meds for depression are affecting you because your new to them. They take awhile to adjust to, but if your really feeling out of your element and it doesn't seem to be getting better then I would suggest that you re-consult your doctor and ask for a change of dosage or different kind. My only experience of them is when I had shingles a pain med they prescribed for it was also for depression. It literally knocked me down for 20 hours a day.Since I really didn't need it for the shingles (I didn't really have pain) I stopped taking after 4 days. I've heard other people say that it takes time to get used to but ended up being really helpful. I like to sleep on my side and sometimes it helps to body hug a king size down feather pillow just to keep my upper half of my body from squashing down forward so much that my throat get closed up. Also I have a firm temperpedic pillow that holds my head up straight across and my shoulder tucks in under it. Like laying my head on a shelf. Both of these things really help to keep my throat straight and clear. The permanent solution is of course to lose the weight that is making my neck full which causes me to feel as though my throat is collapsing. According to my husband the snorer, I too, am a snorer. So the sooner I get healthy weight back the better. Just remember that sometimes things all go to pot at once and make you feel like crap but that doesn't mean it won't get better cause it will. Research as much as you can about your issues and start applying what you can in other ways. These things do help. Try to walk and drink water for starters. Good luck. emoticon

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TCANNO 11/4/2012 4:52AM

    Go back to what started you on the road to weight loss. Then take small steps getting bigger as the weeks go on.


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I will NOT quit

Tuesday, October 09, 2012

The past three weeks have taken there toll on me. On Sept. 14th I went to see my primary doctor for my check up. She took several test. She was very happy that I had lost some weight, told her I had gotten serious. We also discussed something that I was not comfortable talking about. I told her that for the past six months, I have episodes of crying for no reason. Several of these episodes happened while talking to my best friend. There was nothing unpleasant about in our talks. I just suddenly burst into tears. It happened at work, home, and scared me.

The doctor said that it is depression. The past two years have been tough years for me.
In 2010 I was diagnosed with diabetes. Early in 2011 I was told I had Fibromyalgia, RA,
Sjjogrens Syndrome, and that it was l most likely had others that could not be confirmed since my inflammation levels were still high. Both my doctor & Diabetes educator were concerned that I was not accepting it well,. My diabetes educator recommended Sparks
for support for my diabetes. They knew I had no support from family, and only a few people that I felt were supportive. I was told that my health conditions, along with a very low Vitamin D level can lead to depression. This has only made me feel worse.

My doc replaced one of my meds for Fibro. She feels that it will also help with the depression, Well This is my second week on the new medicine, & I am starting to feel a little more in control. I know that I need to start taking steps to get my life in balance.

I am learning that I need to continue to move forward. I need to push myself out of my comfort level. I cannot use the excuse that my body hurts, there is always something that can be done that will be a gentle form of exercise. (water, Tai CHi or yoga). I need to make
myself a priority. I have said this in the past, now is the time for action. I'm working on learning to love myself, to be positive, and reduce the negative that runs thru my head at times. It's a learning process. It starts with one step at a time, one day at a time. I started on this journey to get myself healthy..It has had many detours, challenges, and road blocks
along the way. Sometimes I get lost, but I will eventually find my way. I WILL NOT QUIT!!
One thing I have learned is that I am worth the effort. We all are. Never give up on yourself.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WONDERFUL2BME 10/10/2012 2:34AM

    I get emotional as well as I am losing. I think of each pound as a little weight bomb of emotions. I cr it out and let it go.

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KARIDIAN1 10/9/2012 8:32PM

    Hope things get better. Hang in there.

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Results for WEEK 3

Sunday, September 23, 2012

Week three was a tough week for me. Doctor appointment on Friday the 14th. A follow up on my health issues. A blood draw show that my A1C is stable at 6.1. That's good news. BP was good, and I lost weight. Other test were not so friendly. My Vitamin D level still remains low. They will re-test in three months. My C Reactive Protein, which measures inflammation levels remains high. That is not good news for my RA, Fibro, and Sjogrens. We talked about fatigue that I have been experiencing lately. Decided I really need to give the C-path machine another try. Since I have sleep apnea, as well as Fibro, sleep issues are a problem. Another problem we discussed was crying. While it doesn't happen all the time, I cry for no reason what so ever.
Doctor thinks it's depression, she knows that I have had a hard time accepting some of my health issues in the past two years. Also some of my health issues contribute to depression. So we are changing my Fibro medicine. I start the new medicine October 1st. Doctor thinks I may have depression. That scares the hell out of me!
Hoping that the new medicine will help.

Since my goals for the previous weeks were working without any real problems, I decided with Week 3 to kick it up a little.

Added an extra 5 minutes to my exercise time, for a total of twenty minutes. .SO SO
Continue to work on a positive attitude ---DONE
Listen to my self improvement tape at night ..DONE
Take my medication daily ... NOT SO GOOD
Use the C-Path machine ...ONE DAY ONLY

I know it doesn't seem hard to do. Medication, I take 14 pills daily, and give myself an Injection. I've never been a pill person. In the last two years I've become overwhelmed with them.

Bottom line is that I'm not giving up. Gotta stop feeling sorry for myself and push forward.
This is the last week of September, and as promised I want to make it the best ever.

Think maybe I will consider I group that deals with depression. It can't hurt to know your not alone.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GRANDEFILLE 9/25/2012 8:45AM

    Hang in there .... i think you should be real proud of the goals you've set and stick with. You are doing great in that department. For the rest find the help you need and try to stay positive. I know it is not always easy

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STRIVING4HEALTH 9/23/2012 9:57PM

    I know exactly what you're going through, unfortunately. Keep your chin up!!

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NAOLEE 9/23/2012 9:40PM

    You have depression and if you have 2 years with those conditions you have to see a psico. It's not so bad. Sometime we think we are really bad but when you look back someone is worst than you. Try to think positive and always smile to you. You are not alone. GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR LOVES ONE. emoticon

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week 1 results

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

My goal for September is to Exercise, Stay Positive, and Reduce my debt.

I'm proud to report that I have been successful on all three.

Week 1 lead to a 5 lb weight loss. Exercise has been a key reason. By managing to do
15 min's of exercise daily, and by staying within my calorie range, weight loss happened.

I have maintained a positive attitude for the week. Some days were more challenging than others, but I do see improvement. " What you think is what you attract".

Finally I have been successful in reducing my debt. Cash only is working so far.

Progress begins with the first step. Every day gives us the opportunity to make additional steps. I think I may be ready for more steps starting in Week # 3.

I want to Thank my Spark friends for their support. It means a lot to me. The journey to getting healthy is best traveled with a friend, so Thank you again.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GRANDMABABA 9/11/2012 4:03PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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GRANDEFILLE 9/11/2012 12:53PM

    congratulations on achieving your goals! this is fantastic! Keep going!

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POORGIRL_DIET 9/11/2012 10:48AM

    Fantastic hun, everything takes time and with determination and a positive outlook you will get there xx

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Update on September Progress

Tuesday, September 04, 2012

This is day four for me in making September the best month ever. I'm proud to report that I have exercised every day for 15 min's. Wasn't able to workout at the gym, they had a power failure, so I did my workouts at home. Working with weights & Resistance bands. I've also been working on a positive attitude. Today however, is really a challenge. Glad I go back to work tomorrow. Way less stress then being at home.

Everyone have a great day. Keep pushing forward

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

POORGIRL_DIET 9/10/2012 4:19PM

    well done hun, you are doing it right!

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GRANDEFILLE 9/6/2012 7:47AM

    You should be proud of that! sticking to changes is great! finding ways around the gym is fantastic!


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