Monday, March 09, 2009
So I fell off the wagon again. My friend that was working out with me stopped going to the gym with me due to family problems. And now I just can't seem to find the motivation to go. I know I need to go and I want to go but hate going by myself. The gym that I belong to is all about looks and money. They could care less about making going to the gym a positive experience. They don't like to help you unless you're already in good shape or paying them to do it. Even if you pay them their attitude sucks. Every time I go in I feel like they are judging me. I work there in the daycare and they act like I'm not good enough to work there. I feel bad enough as it is working at a gym and being overweight.
I'm going to force myself to go tomorrow morning even if I have to go alone. I need to go and get over the whole thing. I know I have to stop worrying about what other people think about me and worry about myself. It's so hard when you've been judged your whole life by everyone, including parents, but I have to figure out a way to get over it.
I know what I have to do, I'm just struggling to do it.