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Another year...

Wednesday, January 01, 2014

Another year gone, and I'm back again. Sigh. I'm tempted to delete my spark account and just start fresh. But, really, it's all part of the journey. So here I am. This morning I'll weigh myself for the first time in forever. Ugh. And I've been psyching myself up to start tracking food and getting active again. Baby steps. I've been on a vicious cycle of not moving because I hurt - partly due to plantar fasciitis, largely due to my weight - and then feeling lousy because I'm not moving, and then eating crap because I'm feeling lousy. Ugh. It's not pretty.

BUT. It's a new year, the slate is clean, and I'm ready to start feeling good again. And it all comes back to my biggest why. My boys deserve a mom who has the energy and ability to keep up with them, not someone who just watches life from the sidelines. And I deserve to have the energy to enjoy life, not endure it.

So, baby steps. One little step at a time. First step was logging on to SP.

Happy New Year, everyone!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LOTUSFLOWER 1/1/2014 11:57AM

    Welcome back!! emoticon you can do this, it's all about those baby steps and you've taken the first one, which is huge!! I'm proud of you, glad to see you back.

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CHRISTYK08 1/1/2014 11:24AM

    emoticon I'm glad that you are back. There's something about a new year that brings a fresh start and new motivation. You can do it!

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RUN2MYDREAMS 1/1/2014 8:39AM

    emoticon emoticon I bet eve yoy can accomplish anything you set your mind too-all you need is just a little effort and it will make all the difference in how you feel daily. Start with walker ng in place 10 minutes a day or set a small goal for how many steps you walk a day and then when you've done it consistently, increase it. Make an appointment with yourself to exercise x's weekly-DON'T BREAK IT! If yoy want to be there for yor sons then you've got to make time for you. You can even include them on one appt a week or something. I am pretty sure that they would love to join you. Whatever you do, start small and build on it. You can do it! Just stau consistent and true to your goals. emoticon emoticon

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HANDYV 1/1/2014 5:57AM

    emoticon Never give up.

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Loving myself

Sunday, January 06, 2013

A huge turning point in my life came when I was a freshman in college. I was walking across campus, with my usually self-hating script running in my head, when I suddenly thought, "(several friends names from high school) love me. There HAS to be something in me to love!" I honestly couldn't imagine what they could love about me. For years I wouldn't touch anyone or hug anyone outside of family, because I hated myself so much that I felt like I would somehow contaminate them by touching them. I want to cry when I think of that teenager. And I really wasn't very overweight at all. But the actual weight really doesn't matter, does it? It's all about how we see ourselves.

Back to that walk across campus... They saw something in me, even though I couldn't. I clung to that thought for a long time - until I could start loving myself too. If they saw something to love, I forced myself to take on faith that there was something there TO love. And finally, little by little, I started believing it for myself.

Years later I finally really heard the second part of the commandment to 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' Oh! I am SUPPOSED to love myself!! God loves me, and He doesn't make mistakes. To hate myself is to hate part of His creation. Wow.

It's still a struggle. For the last couple of years, I fell WAY off the healthy bandwagon, stopped moving, and went back to eating all the crap that poisons my body and my soul. I regained all the weight I had lost. I lost all the energy I had gained. It's tempting to succumb to what I label the 'demons' - those nasty little voices that still try to lurk in my head, trying to convince me that of the absurd notion that somehow self-worth is tied to the size of my body.

But I refuse to go there. I have an amazing life. A wonderful husband, two fabulous little boys, parents and a sister I adore, a home-based Tastefully Simple business I love, enough income to pay the bills and slowly start building a little savings. I got off track with taking care of the physical me...but it such a minuscule part of who I am. Little by little, I'm working my way back to getting back on track. But I will not let it define me.

I am a beloved child of God, with whom He is well pleased. And so are you.

Life is good!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LOTUSFLOWER 1/6/2013 12:26PM

    You are so right. I love this blog and the message in it!

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MT-MOONCHASER 1/6/2013 10:46AM

    Congratulations for thinking this through and arriving at a good decision to love yourself. It will be a struggle to get there, but it will be worth it. That's a giant step toward living a healthy life.

emoticon

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CANDOSUE52 1/6/2013 9:16AM

   

This was absolutely beautiful. I hope you don't mind my adding you as a friend, you are good inspiration to me!!

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MARYBETH4884 1/6/2013 7:30AM

    Well put! We each need to see our value through God's eyes! God doesn't make junk, he makes valuable heirlooms of His kingdom! Have a blessed day

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RUN2MYDREAMS 1/6/2013 7:30AM

    Yes life IS good and YOU my friend are ALL that and a bowl of cherries! While we haven't seen each other in some time, your friendship is important to me. You helped me, when I was really struggling mentally & emotionally, to see that there is more to Simone than her weight! I thank you more than words can express for that and I thank you for being the beautiful woman that you truly are!
Love you gorgeous! emoticon emoticon

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Tiptoeing Back...

Tuesday, January 01, 2013

I've been gone, for a long, long time. I regained all the weight I lost, plus a little more. I'm feeling crappy, out-of-shape, and without energy. Sigh. But I've always known I'd be back, that I wasn't leaving SP for good. Life has been crazy, but has finally settled down. December was miserable - a nasty bout with pneumonia left me with lots of time to sit around feeling like a slug. I'm still recovering - still have the cough, no stamina, and have to sleep sitting up. Which means lousy sleep for me. And everyone is warning me not to push it, so I don't relapse. Ugh...

So, I'm working on patience... I've been easing back into SP for the past week. Trying to read a few blogs and articles. My parents gave me a Fitbit One for Christmas, and I've been wearing it ever since. I love it! Again, I'm trying to take it easy, so I'm just looking at the current numbers as a baseline, with nowhere to go but up! :-D. I have my Fitbit linked to SP...it seems to be giving me a ridiculous number of workout minutes, which is crazy. I need to figure that out... Trust me, no working out going on right now.

But. It's January 1st. I'm going to start (gulp!) tracking food again today. I despise tracking food. But I know it's the only thing that works for me. I'm not really going to try to limit with at I eat for the next couple of weeks, just track. Though tracking always makes me limit somewhat anyway. There's nothing like those numbers staring me in the face! But I have trips coming up the next two weekends - to MN on Friday for my uncle's funeral, and to San Diego the following weekend for the Tastefully Simple Leadership Conference. Tracking while traveling is hard enough when I'm already in the habit. I refuse to stress abut it when I'm just getting started again. Baby steps.

So...hi, everyone! Here's to a wonderful 2013 for all of us. One baby step at a time...

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LOTUSFLOWER 1/5/2013 7:09PM

    Welcome back! You can do this. I remember how well you did before. I also have a fitbit and love it.

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CANDOSUE52 1/1/2013 12:20PM

   
Welcome back, and best wishes on your journey!

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RUN2MYDREAMS 1/1/2013 8:54AM

    Slowly but surely, I know you can & will do this. One emoticon step at a time, one foot in front of the other. You can do absolutely anything you set your mind to my friend!

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EBONYSOL 1/1/2013 5:13AM

    As a person who has been run down by pneumonia in the past, I would suggest that when you feel better wait another 3 weeks before resuming normal activity. I didn't and did I pay for it and I was 17 years old at the time. At that time in my life, I was fit and healthy before I got pneumonia.

What to do while recovering? Some suggestions:

practice stress reduction techniques like listening to relaxing music or meditating or learning how to meditate or reading or ...
What about working at creating a vision collage?
Declutter - go through a dresser drawer and throw out some stuff, organize the rest.
Touch base with some friends.

Yes, I am aware that you work. In the time you would normally exercise you can either rest or worry. The suggestions are to be used to replace the worry time.

Good luck in your recovery! Take the time now so you can be in top shape to do the work you want to do on yourself.

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Day 16 of 365

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Why is junk food so darn appealing? Sigh.

School was canceled today due to no power, so another lazy day. Though I did get quite a bit done for my business, which is good.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NETTIEDEE 11/2/2010 5:58PM

    I'm reading an interesting book on behavioral psychology and business. Must blog about it soon. In the meantime, scientists have found that our will power gets depleted with each things we must do that we don't like. So, if you have 100% willpower in the morning but you have a meeting with that colleague whom you don't like, then make yourself meet with this person cuz it's part of your job andyour will power goes down as a consequence. So, if you didn't bring your lunch to work and are foreced to go out for lunch, you're more likely to eat things you shouldn't as the willpower you would have normally used to resist the cheeseburger was depleted by having to have a meeting you didn't want to have. If we rely on willpower, we're f*ked. So, the author states we achieve better results by avoiding temptation than by trying to resist it. And, avoiding temptation is done by preparing ahead of time (like having healthy snacks in our desks or bringing lunch to work), and by not having junk food in the house. It's an interesting read and it's making a world of difference in how I do things.

Hope my long explanation to your simple question helps a bit.

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WINTERWINGS 10/27/2010 1:37AM

    The unholy trinity: sugar, salt and fat. Our brains crave all three and if you can get it all in one food it is ecstasy. (sigh)

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LUVYA04 10/26/2010 10:56PM

    emoticon

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Day 15 of 365: Head not in the game

Monday, October 25, 2010

I know it'll get there if I just keep this up, but it's not there yet.

Went to my Rescue Squad meeting tonight (I'm a Life Member). I really miss running calls. But I've let my EMT certification lapse, so I'd have to retake the entire class. Just don't see any way I could pull that off right now. Sigh...

  


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