Saturday, June 25, 2011
On April 1 this year my husband was replaced from his job as Membership director at the chamber of commerce. They eliminated his position and hired a 20 something woman with facebook/social networking skills. After almost 10 years and 2000 members signed up, they gave him 48 hours to clean out his desk and leave. It wasn't pretty and I was really angry with the Executive Director of the Chamber, his boss, and the woman business owner who is the current business leader who delivered the bad news to him that fateful day.
Well, yesterday was the funeral of my best friends mother and the chamber hosted a gathering with food after the service for her and her family and friends. I know this wasn't the time or place but I was standing in the conference room prior to the families arrival and this woman business owner just happened to be standing right next to me. I just looked at her and said, "I don't appreciate the way you treated my husband!" And then I said, I'm sorry, this wasn't the time and place for that. She agreed and walked off but she was visually shaken by my comment.
And guess what, I don't even feel bad for doing that. I must have been waiting in the wings for the optimum moment and didn't even know it. I went over the event in my mind several times last night and did not feel one ounce of regret or remorse. The only thing I will say is that I feel like I have a little guilt for having done it at a time when we were mourning the loss of a loved one. But as I say, I did not know or even plan that I would do such a thing.
I am basicaly a very nice person. I have a lot of good clients and have people tell me how nice I am to work with in decorating their homes. I have lots of friends although I am not good at closeness except with my friend Pat.
My husband has moved on and works part time with a local funeral home and is guiding them into more community participation with his contacts in the community. He is now on speaking terms with the fellow that fired him and notified him this morning about the death of a community leader and chamber executive that passed last night. I don't know what they were thinking when they fired him, that he would go away?? He has so many friends and contacts in this community that are angry with the chamber for what they did and many won't be renewing. My husband has taken the high road and treats these people like nothing happened as he should. Mostly I do the same but I just don't know what came over me.
The Executive Director's personal secretary is also a thorn in my side. She and I have never gotten along and her full colors came out as well. She goes out of her way to embarrass me or stab me in the back which she did yesterday and I won't go there and tell you about it. So I guess what I'll have to do is embrace these people with a hug and kiss next time I see them and act like nothing happened.
I've been an active member of this chamber for 27 years, always volunteering and contributing. My husband did the same as a member and then as an employee. And to be treated shabbilly like that, you just can't do that in a small town like this and expect people not to know. I sat next to a woman yesterday at the funeral who did not even know he wasn't still at the chamber so there are a lot who don't have a clue but will eventually find out.
I'll be waiting in the wings for the opportunity to slam the executive director's secretary when the occasion arises. Better stay away from her I guess.
Friday, June 24, 2011
I was at a clients home this week and she asked me how I managed to stay so thin? I hadn't heard anything like that in years and years and I still wonder how she could see me as a thin person. I weigh 188 lbs for heavens sake but I carry my weight. I'm tall with a med to big bone structure and I look good in spite of the weight. That is one reason I have such a time losing. I'm not fat enough in my mind.
I always saw myself as fat in comparison to my older sister. In 7th grade I remember being weighed at the nurses office and she spouted out 152 lbs in front of everyone. So mortifying. My sister weighed 110 lbs and was always so thin. I could never match up. When I was going into my junior year in high school, we moved so I went to a new school. My weight dropped to 130, I guess the baby fat fell off. That was my all time low and I was thin, my bones stuck out. I won the title of Miss Seaford that year, so surprised to be pretty.
That time began my lifelong struggle to maintain my weight. I settled in at around 140 in college. In 1972 I joined the Air Force. As an AF Officer, I had to be below a certain weight which for me, at my height was around 145 lbs. I was always right on the cusp, even though I was thin. Ideally they wanted you to weigh 5 lbs less than your max which was always a struggle for me. I went on the grapefuit diet prior to going for my entrance physical at Andrews AFB in 1971. Grapefruit at every meal and boiled eggs. I was eating so little I almost passed out but I passed the physical and joined up.
I stayed on active duty and in the Air Force Reserve until I retired in 1996. That helped me to maintain my weight as I always had to get into my uniform. After that, I didn't have Uncle Sam watching over me. A diagnose of Major Depression in 1995 and a variety of medications since then took a toll on my weight and I've dieted myself up to my current weight.
Once again, I'm in a losing mindset. I think if I hadn't tried to lose over the years, I would weigh 300 lbs. At least I had some checks and balances. I'm in it again, trying to watch what I eat and make a healthy choice.
Thursday, June 23, 2011
I rejoined the Sonoma Diet plan online but find their message boards to be extremely lacking so I'm keeping up with Spark because the people here are so friendly and helpful! I like Sonoma very much and have already lost 3 lbs from water weight I guess.
Just going back to a healthy plan is enough to lose a few. I have been totally satisfied at every meal. I found myself wanting to snack prior to lunch and dinner yesteday and because of the no snacking rules of NO S, I talked myself out of it both times. So 3 squares using SD principles!
We did go out last night after dinnerand have McDonald's ice cream. So I'm wondering how it fits into all of this. It definitely isn't part of the NO Snacking or sweets part of NO S. But I look at the ice cream as a milk product and if I'm going to have it, it might as well be McDonald's ice cream.
Whatever works. Two facts are I'm not willing to give up beer twice a week on Tuesday and Friday but limit myself to one miller light. And I'm going to have that occasional ice cream so I'll stick to McDonald's. I hate to count calories and track food so phooey with that. I will make the healthy choice when eating out.
My friend Pat's mother did pass on Tuesday so maybe she and I can get back into a walking routine. It went by the way side the last few months. We went to see her on Sunday. On Monday morning she called Pat and asked her to bring her a dress because she wanted to look good. She was ready to go and passed on Tuesday afternoon. What an amazing woman she was.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Well, read a blog this morning about the NO S diet, and never heard of it before. Premise is to eat healthy and no sugar, no snacks, and no seconds except on days that start with S. Interesting so I'll give it a shot. I've been struggling to return to some semblance of eating healthy and this struck a nerve with me. I guess I need some sort of gimick to lose. Anyway, I had rejoined the Sonoma Diet online program and have been dissappointed with the participation on their message boards. There is basically no participation so today I went on and made the public announcement that I was going to check in daily with some motivaiton and revelation. I had thought I might drop out and go back to WW but honestly, the Sonoma Diet really worked for me several years back and I lost 18 lbs. However, I lose so slowly, I give up on any diet and go back to numbskull eating.
One of the reasons I liked the SD diet was the recipes provided. They are so tasty and use fresh herbs and spices to rev things up. Yesterday I printed off a recipe for Turkey-Sausage-Garbanzo Bean Soup and since I had the ingredients, I made it for lunch yesterday. It was delicious so I am going to go ahead and post it on line here. We had it for dinner last night and it was filling and tasty. And healthy. That kind of cemented in me the idea of going back to the SD diet. Then when I read about the NO S diet here on Spark and even joined the team, I thought the combo of the two made sense.
Some facts about me.
I am not willing to give up drinking beer. But I can limit myself to 1 beer. On SD, you can have a glass of wine so I am substituting beer for wine. You can also have beer on WW by just counting the points but I don't like counting points so fooey with that. We go to our local Yacht Club onTuesday and Friday nights so I will 1 beer and the rest diet coke or water.
I like the Sonoma Diet because it advocates whole grains, plenty of veggies and eating by plate size and portions. It makes so much sense. AFter my bowl of soup last night, I remembered that the food was filling as well because it included plenty of fiber.
I hate tracking my food and calories. ALways have. You don't have to do that with SD. There is one woman who is still a member of SD that lost 85 pounds simply by following the plate size and portions. She works in a bakery and has her hands in flour and sugar all day long. She never even licked her fingers or ate a donut the whole time she was losing.
I ordered the New Sonoma Diet book and cookbook from Amazon today. I already have the previous 2 books but I wanted something new to read with new ideas so that's what I'm getting.
If you are reading this you are probably thinking, here she goes again. Another diet plan. ANd you would be right. But I am returning to a plan that worked for me in the past and worked well. I was always satisfied and when I went to restaurants I would peruse the menu and pick the items that would fall into the SD guidelines. You can have a baked sweet potato, just leave off the butter and after a while of no sugar, that sweet potato flavor really comes through.
So here I am yet again. At least I can say that by constantly returning to some sort of diet program over the years has kept me from ballooning up to 300 lbs. Wish me luck!
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