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Saturday, May 14, 2011

I commented on another member's blog about her smidge of a weight gain and I advised her to "pay attention". And I should "pay attention" as well, to what I'm eating, to stressors in life, to committing to exercise. I should pay attention to myself to keep healthy, etc. etc. etc. Where did that term come from anyway and what does it mean, to pay attention? It rolls off the tongue. You were told in class to pay attention, your spouse wants you to pay attention, in church you need to pay attention to the preacher. ??? So I googled it and got directed to www.usingenglish.com for the correct way to use, always preceded by "to". Or after.

I surmise that if I hadn't paid attention to losing weight for many years, I would have easily ballooned up to over 200 pounds. On and off diets we go, losing and gaining, losing and gaining.
None of those diets helped me achieve my ultimate weight loss goal. I gave up because it seemed like no matter what I did, the lbs did not budge. At least not fast enough. So now I have a new opportunity for experimentation into the diet realm. It wasn't the diets fault, I gave up, I didn't stick it out. We blame it on the diet plan, "that one didn't work for me". Or was it I didn't work with it long enough? Or I didn't pay enough attention to the plan for it to work for me?

So where am I now. Ballooned up again with a fat pouch at the stomach and a size bigger. Last year I bought a size 14 pair of crops that fit nicely. I never wore them and found them in the drawer with the tags still on. So I took them back to the store and exchanged them for a 16. Sigh! Here's the deal, I'm going on my yearly trip to my conference in Arizona and I need something to wear that fits! This happens every year, I want to lose weight before I go and that doesn't happen so I plan to go on a diet of some sort when I get back and that usually does happen. The best results I had was when I went on the Sonoma Diet right after conference about 4 years ago and lost 10 lbs in the first 10 days. Then it took me 6 more months to lose 8 lbs. By that time I was frustrated and stopped. Why don't I just keep it up? This year I will. My new doc says 80% of his patients lose weight on the med I started taking for my depression and I want to be in that 80%. I don't want to go back and see him in July with no weight loss. Too bad he didn't weigh me in.

I need to pay attention to a healthy diet and exercise. I can start today with a healthy diet. Maybe I won't lose but I can start on the track so that when I'm out in Arizona, I won't eat too many tacos. I can walk too. I CAN!

I have a busy day today with seeing 2 clients, a pedicure and going to Mom's to fill her pill box. I'll have to eat lunch prior to the first client or at least plan something. Later.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SERENEMOM71 5/16/2011 2:48PM

  Mindfulness is so important. Start your day with a prayer, and try to keep praying throughout the day through. Join us in the fall with the book study 'Made to Crave' by Lysa TerKeurst which helps us with the "want-to' of weight loss not the usual "how-to" of usual weight loss books! It is excellent. Good luck and God bless! emoticon emoticon

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EDITOR 5/15/2011 5:36AM

    emoticon Paying attention takes effort. You are on your journey-don't give in!

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REBECKY44 5/14/2011 12:31PM

    It's hard! We want to fall back into old habits. This is why we need to focus on a healthy lifestyle and make it 'ours' everyday not just when we have some place special to go. Habits are hard to break. Just keep it up. Everyday remind yourself that you are worth it!

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JENNY888 5/14/2011 12:05PM

    Paying attention sounds so simple but is so difficult. One can resolve to do so all day in the early hours of the morning and forget it immediately. I'm also working on keeping the mindfulness or attention on what I want to do. Enjoy your conference--but pay attention to so you don't have to pay attention after.

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KASEYCOFF 5/14/2011 11:23AM


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Thursday, May 12, 2011

I visited my new psychiatrist today and finally, after a month of medication changes, i think the Pristiq has finallly kicked in and the other meds are out. It has been a trying month of adjustment. Nearly every day i had a headache that went on all day. I had nausea and drowsiness. I couldn't sleep. Tryed taking the med at night which helped during the day but then I was awake and if I took a tylenol pm to go to sleep, then I couldn't get up. Anyway, i am back on taking morning meds and all the symptoms are gone! Some interesting things are happening.

1. I am an avid coffee drinker and it doesn't taste as good to me as before. Can barely get through one cup, let alone two. Doc said that caffeine tends to keep you from losing weight.

2. Wine turns me off. Used to like a glass or two but now not so much. Still go for the beer but not so much of that either.

3. I don't seem as hungry but while I was going through the withdrawal, I ate everything that I felt would help me feel better, especially sweets.

4. Doc said taht 80% of his patients that switch to pristiq end up losing weight! Hope I'm in that 80%.

5. He had given me a prescription for something to take at night instead of tylenol pm. Haven't really tried it yet but he said that it was non addictive and would allow me to go into stage 4 sleep which stimulated hormones that helped with weight loss. So I am going to take that and nix the atavan I was taking.

I hope that all this comes together and the lbs might actually come off. It has been so darn difficult and frustrating for me to lose weight as it stuck to me like glue. I guess the meds weren't helping and no matter what I did, could not seem to lose. Or lose so slow I gave up.
I'm not going to worry too much in the next 2 weeks as I am busy trying to finish a big decorating job next week and then I go to Phoenix and Sedona, Az for our Decorating Den conference. Can't wait! A mini vacation. Hubby is flying out on Wed 25 May for 4 nights in Sedona and we are going to the grand canyon via train in the observation car, visiting the canyon and the Navajo village and then coming back via bus. A Long day but we aren't ever going that way again. Been to the Grand Canyon twice. Once it was so fogged in we couldn't see a thing. The second time was with the High School Band and I was afraid the kids would fall over the cliff. So didn't enjoy it much. Hope to see something this time.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SERENEMOM71 5/13/2011 1:05AM

  emoticon emoticonHave a wonderful vacation! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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Sunday, May 08, 2011

I know it is Mother's Day and supposedly special but I'm not having a good day at the moment. I'm angry and allowing myself to feel that anger. I won't discuss why but maybe it is a good thing as I tend to hold things in. I'm feeling a lot of anxiety this morning and I just went and took an extra pill for that. Rarely do that but I feel so edgy. My medication is kicking in but I see my doctor on Thursday and will definitely have some things to tell him. I'm swallowing tylenol like it's candy. Headaches abound. Am I getting enough medication?

One thing I've noticed is that coffee doesn't seem to taste good to me anymore. I used to drink 2 and sometimes 3 cups every morning and now I can just get through one cup and that is about it. Same with alcohol. Especially wine. Yesterday, hubby and I delivered some chairs to a friend and took a bottle of wine. She poured a glass and it went straight to my head, couldn't even finish it. Didn't want it.

Afterward we went shopping at Coldwater Creek as I wanted to get some new crops that fit me. IF I'm not losing at least I need a pair I can close. Hubby kept insisting that I buy something, pulling things off the racks and I ended up with a pile of stuff that I am probably taking back this week. Nothing reallly excited me and the pants were a size bigger than I wanted them to be. What I reallly wanted was some new t-shirts with 3/4 sleeves but they didn't have any. So I didn't get anything I wanted. And still spent a pile of money so back they will go on Tuesday. What I really need to do is pull everything out of my drawers, try them on, and off to the Salvation Army if I'm not going to wear it.

Since I have been struggling with medication the last month, my diet has been whatever I feel like eating when I feel like eating it. In the mornings I usually have a pop tart because I seem to want the sugar and something for my pills to land on. Later, about 10:00 or so, I've been craving protein. We had some ham left from Easter so a ham sandwich on whole wheat bread was good. Ice cream is something that comforts me. A klondike bar in the afternoon seemed to be a must and dinner was dinner. Whatever it was. Snacking did not exist in the evening. No desire.

My body aches and I seem to want to walk. I will try and get out with the dog before church but I also have some other things to do. The last 2 nights I have been waking up at 2:00 drenched in sweat. ANd then try to fall back asleep. I don't want to be any fatter than I am right now. I think the fact that I have been on many diets over the past 10 years or so has kept me from getting up over 200 pounds. I seem to continually lose and gain the same pounds but it is better than not losing and gaining. My taste buds are changing. I hope that when this medication finally gets regulated that I will be among those who lose weight and not gain.

Did anyone even read this? I want to be so positive but I've got so much garbage to dump. And get a handle on. Hope you have a good Mother's Day.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SERENEMOM71 5/8/2011 11:21AM

  I'm glad that you are letting your feelings out as the only way to deal with them is to go through them. I don't know what medications you are on but most of them aren't compatible with alcohol - check with your doctor. You are in my daily thoughts and prayers, my dear! I do care about you.
Love, your sister in Christ,
Amy emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
Standing on the Promises of God

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AMBERLEIGHM1 5/8/2011 10:14AM

    I always believe in not supressing what you feel; if you are angry then that is fine. As long as we don't let our feelings cause us to become destructive to ourselves or others then feel what you need to feel.

I'm sorry you needed the extra medication but I'm so glad you had it on hand and I hope it works well.

I'm praying you the get the good side effect from the medication. I hope the rest of the day is gentle on you. Thank you for the warm thoughts today.

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-CHERYL 5/8/2011 10:09AM

    I've been a chronic dieter since I was about 13 when I noticed my cousins were fat and I didn't want to be. I think all the yo-yo dieting has messed up my body so losing weight is difficult. I have been doing Spark seriously since October and have lost 36 pounds so far. This is the longest I have been consistent with working on losing weight and I have been able to see how my body loses weight. It's difficult to lose when you take certain medications but it's not impossible.
I hope you can get a handle on your stress's. I've found that my eating and exercise is the only thing I have total control over in my life and it's nice to have control over something!


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KASEYCOFF 5/8/2011 9:47AM

    You know I read 'em, hon, each and ever' one....

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Saturday, May 07, 2011

This is so silly but I would like to take my quilting to the next level and develop patterns and quilts and sell them. I know I could do this as I've owned my own decorating business for 27 years and I know how to run a business. I see these really young women like Julie Herman of Jaybird Quilts who is making quilts, selling patterns, and is showcasing at the quilt show in Salt Lake City this weekend. I don't want to do this on a large scale, just a bit and when I want to. I don't have to make a lot of money but I see this as a very fulfilling thing to do in my retirement.

Just thinking and musing. I've been working on 2 quilts that I made without patterns. I did take my inspiration from pictures and patterns I had seen but did not follow exactly. Both have turned out beautifully although I'm not finished. I have to see clients today so I can't do my quilting, maybe a bit later this morning and before I have to go out at 2:00.

I have a new sewing machine on lay away. Haven't told hubby and it doesn't matter anyway as I'm paying for it through my business. Just figured I'd have it paid for before I tell him. Later.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AGILLASPIE60 5/14/2011 12:07PM

    When my boys were little and I was a stay-at-home mom, I quilted a lot. Now I work full time and don't have much time for my hobby....I miss it! So I say, research how to get your patterns published and go for it! Do what you enjoy most and fulfill your dreams....It's never too late! Quilting is such a fulfilling hobby, why not make it a business?!

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KASEYCOFF 5/7/2011 10:00AM

    Oohh, a new sewing machine! Love the layaway plan - and now you've given me an idea, lol...

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Monday, May 02, 2011

Saturday night I did not sleep. Could not sleep. So at 12:30 I got up and took a tylenol PM which was not smart. Then I could not get up and was groggy all day. After church, I laid down and instantly fell asleep for 2 hours. Then last night, I decided that I would not take any meds and get up this morning, have breakfast and then take all my meds, including the new one that wrecked havoc with my soul for 2 weeks. I am determined that it has kicked in and today will be the day that I get back on track! I am going to get up and walk the dog and shower and get dressed for the day after I finish this blog! Today I WILL!

I is the most important word when it comes to weight loss and self improvement. Only I can do it! So here are my I's!

I will get up from my computer and walk the dog!
I will drink my water. I have put a container from which I will pass pennies from one to the otherwhen I drink a glass in order to ensure I actuallly do it.
I will eat 5 or more fruits and veggies daily.

These are just a few of the things that I am going to do. I have landed on a few teams that I hope will make a difference.

The Slowest Loser
The Mediterranean Way
Quilt and Lose (my creative outlet)
Pensacola Sparkers

With the above teams I hope to be able to get back on track and to be postive. Now I am going to go and brush my teeth, put on some scrubs and get out with the dog! Later.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AGILLASPIE60 5/12/2011 9:45PM

    You've made a great plan! Go for it!

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SERENEMOM71 5/3/2011 12:00PM

  emoticon Just take one day @ a time! emoticon plan!

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BECKYI39 5/2/2011 10:57AM

    You can do it!!

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KASEYCOFF 5/2/2011 9:34AM

    Attagirl! It's all in attitude, determination, and choice - sounds as tho you are in the process of making some very wise choices!

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ANDI571 5/2/2011 9:31AM

    Kick some butt today Carol. You can do it..... emoticon

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JUST_TRI_IT 5/2/2011 9:27AM

    Sounds like a great plan for the day... and longer! Hope you have a great day :)

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