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Monday, March 21, 2011

Yesterday, before church, I decided to go through a box and a bag full of stuff that came out of our old roll top desk. I was able to throw much of it out but I ran across some pictures that really got my attention and my first WW attendance Book. There was a picture of me on the beach in Delaware fresh out of college in July 1970. Boy, was I ever thin, probably about 135 or less. I was also in love having met a wonderful man in June. Our relationship was progressing and I had just realized that I truly did love this man and would have spent the rest of my life with him. However, it was not to be. He was in the Air Force and while TDy, was killed in an automobile accident. I was devastated. It was a long while before I smiled again. I did meet the man of my life a few years later in my husband and there was a picture of us in 1984 right before I started my business. I was still thin, about the same weight and he was too. Of course we were both much younger. My WW lifetime mbrship was from 1980. I went from 147 pounds to 135 pounds. I kept that weight off for 4 years because I was into aerobic dance but then the instructor left the spa and I got busy with my business and stopped exercising, gradually gaining myself up to 185+ pounds. While I was in the Air Force Reserve, until 1996, I had to keep my weight down but after that, it just crept up.

If you had told me in 1980 that I would eventually weigh 50 pounds more, I would have been horrified. The thought of being that much heavier was awful! And it is! I took those pictures and they are now on my bulletin board next to my desk along with the WW record. They will be a constant reminder for me. I always viewed myself as a fat person, even when I was thin. Those pictures prove to me I WAS A THIN PERSON! And I can be a thin person again.

So in church, I said my prayers and asked God to help me find a diet plan that I could stick to and help me get to my goal of 160 pounds. I don't even want to be 135 again, at my age I would be all wrinkled and saggy. I'm shooting for 160 as I have been the last year and a half until I gave up.

I'm going to resort to the only diet plan that had been successful for me that I was able to stick to and lost 18 pounds on 3+ years ago. Then I quit and gained it back. This is The Sonoma Diet which is based on a mediterranean diet and plate size. Your 9" lunch and dinner plate should hold 50% vegetables,25% whole grains and 25% protein. Limit yourself to 2 fruits a day and a glass of wine and no sugar. IT wasn't a difficult diet and there are lists of preferred tier 1 fruits and veggies of which you are unlimited and tier2 which you are limited to one per day. Lean protein and only whole grains of which there are numerous varieties and you can eat well and lose.

Why I gave it up is the same reason I give up every diet. I got to a certain point when it took months and months of not losing, of staying the same, of getting frustrated and just giving up. I got down to 176 at one point and it took 10 months or so to get there. 18 pounds. Then I gained it back. Now I am going to try again with the help of these pics in front of me and my spark friends.

I don't think there is a Sonoma Diet or Mediterranean Diet team on here. Maybe I should start one. Developed by a Doctor and they have a website but it isn't well supported or wasn't. I've dropped my online WW mbrship. I think WW gives me too much permission to eat more. And I abuse the privilege. I have 3 paid visits so I might go for those. I'm sticking to Sparkpeople for their help. And I'm going to follow the plate plan and eat more veggies. So much easier than logging and counting.

Alcohol is out through Lent. We haven't had a beer and wine doesn't interest me so it is diet coke when I'm out or water. Yesterday at lunch, I had 3 glasses of water. Waitress couldn't keep up with me. So that is that and I need to start my week! Later.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EDITOR 3/22/2011 9:58AM

    You poured out your heart to us! Thank you and I pray that our beloved Savior will show you the way to lasting weight loss. Like that knock on the door, perhaps we have to listen more intently because our hearing dims with age?

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CO-CREATOR 3/22/2011 8:08AM

    I am sorry for what you went through, losing someone that you loved. I think starting a team is a great idea. Best wishes for your success.

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S3XYDIVASMOM 3/21/2011 10:49PM

    I think it's really important for you to find something that you can live with for the rest of your life. Even when you're not losing weight, if you're not gaining, you're at least halfway successful. It's easy to get discouraged, but there's a lot to be said for just plugging along. I've been living my new lifestyle for 19 months. That averages out to slightly more than .6 pounds per week. Hang in there. Success is on its way.

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Saturday, March 19, 2011

The only thing I wanted for a gift was to see my grandkids and they and their parents are all sick. So that isn't going to happen. So we are taking the cake and ice cream over to Grammie's and having it there, while I fix her pills for the week. It is a lovely day and I cleaned up my sewing room and have worked on s ome quilt strips for my bargello. Never done one before and there sure are a lot of little squares that have to be sewn together. Have 3 more strips to do and then I can start sewing them together. I'm just enjoying not doing much of anything and I have dinner in the crockpot so that is that.

Have a lovely day!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HISTORYKEYS 3/22/2011 10:16AM

  Happy Birthday, a bit late! Hope the family has recuperated and you all can celebrate together. emoticon

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GAILRUU 3/20/2011 11:07AM

    I hope you enjoy the day and the coming year gives you many opportunities to spend time with your grandkids.

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ILLINITEACHER52 3/20/2011 7:56AM

  Belated Happy Birthday! Celebrate again when everyone is well!

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REJ7777 3/20/2011 7:11AM

    I'm sorry you didn't get to see your grandchildren. I hope that you'll get to see them very soon! And I hope that the coming year will be a year of health and fitness for you!

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EDITOR 3/20/2011 6:58AM

    Made it to your birthday and God bless you richly!

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    Happy Birthday! emoticon

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COURAGETOMOVE 3/19/2011 8:16PM

    Happy Birthday!

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BEVPRESLEY 3/19/2011 8:14PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

Happy Birthday! How nice to have your birthday on National Quilting Day. Hope you enjoyed it, even if you didn't get to see the grands.

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JANET1012 3/19/2011 7:43PM

    Happy Birthday and Happy National Quilting Day!! Sounds like you've had a good day, though it wasn't exactly as planned. Best wishes for many more fun birthdays!

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Comment edited on: 3/19/2011 7:44:09 PM

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NAJENA 3/19/2011 6:55PM

  Happy Birthday!!!!

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JOLETTE 3/19/2011 4:43PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticonI am thinking spring but do want to wish you A VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY. emoticon

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MIZKAREN 3/19/2011 4:28PM

  Have a terrific birthday.

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TIRED49 3/19/2011 4:00PM

    Happy Birthday ! Enjoy your day! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LIGHTHOUSE0403 3/19/2011 3:43PM

  Happy Birthday!

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ROSES4UN4ME 3/19/2011 3:33PM

    well happy birthday and we ll make you a birthday party
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JMW615 3/19/2011 3:31PM

  Happy Birthday!!!!!!!!

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    My brother is 63 today--so you share a birthday with some guy you don't even know! LOL! Have a great birthday--sorry those plans you made can't come true, maybe next year! Enjoy Grammie's, and don't eat too much cake & ice cream.

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MRSSCHENCK 3/19/2011 3:23PM

    emoticon Happy Birthday!

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Friday, March 18, 2011

Yesterday, I started out with the idea that I would post my food for the first time in a long long time. Started out pretty good. Then, as usual, we had a ribbon cutting at a local restaurant with wine choices and fancy snacks. Then afterward, we went directly to the business mixer at the local bottle club. Fell into the potato chips and could not stop. I just can't concentrate on being on a diet and I need to as I look fat again. tonight we always go to the Yacht Club where they have food and at least I am not drinking beer for lent. And I don't want any wine either. So won't be drinking much. And tomorrow is my birthday so I know we will have cake and I love cake. My lifestyle is just not into dieting. I haven't tried Jenny Craig and they have one here. Maybe I should. I really think that WW gives me permission to eat too much so that didn't work.
Just at a loss for words and what to do. Doomed to be 188 for the rest of my life. Later.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KASEYCOFF 3/18/2011 7:07PM

    I wish I could think of something motivating or encouraging, but I'm tapping a dry well. The only thing I know to do is tight control and little tiny bits, chipping away at it a little at a time. It could be that you haven't found the right 'formula' that works for you yet, so maybe Jenny Craig would do it. Have you thought about joining a gym, like Curves or one of the 'women only' places? Might not be a case of what you're eating as much as needing to burn more of it--?

Dunno, hon. But I wish you the happiest of birthdays - nice that it falls on a weekend this year!
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CHBADILLO 3/18/2011 11:19AM

    DON'T give up or give in! Redirect your thinking. First of all NO NEGATIVE TALK! I have been guilty of that, it's a hard habit to break but it can be done. You ARE worth good health and happy weight. Find Quotes that motivate you, find something that reminds you to keep focused and pass that bowl of chips. I have an anchor on my keychain to remind me that I am anchored to my goal and I'm worth it :)I touch it when I'm tempted, kind of like a worry-stone but it works MOST of the time. LOL

Blogging is def good too. The support you get on here is awesome! Hold your head high, plan, breathe :)

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LADYBUG1943 3/18/2011 11:15AM

    I waver between determination and also thinking "maybe I'm just meant to be this way." After all, grandmothers are supposed to be soft and round, right?

Except, as much as I love being a grandmother, that's no my only role in life, and I do NOT like the way I look in a mirror. I can look at past pictures and know whether I was at the top or bottom of the 20 lbs. I've been varying through the years.

I suspect you'll feel differently tomorrow (or after your birthday).... and have fresh resolve. For me, exercise is the secret more than what I eat, because I stay within my limits with food most of the time. My exercise is what wavers.

What works for me, and maybe you too.... is that AVOIDANCE is not motivating for me. I have to remember how good my body feels when I'm eating right and exercising, and am beginning to love the energy I feel when I'm doing those two things right. By concentrating on moving toward something instead of away from something, it helps my attitude (I have a very rebellious nature).

Start something new tomorrow; write in a journal; take a walk. Wait for the next "AHA" moment.

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Comment edited on: 3/18/2011 11:16:58 AM

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FITNATIC45 3/18/2011 10:16AM

    You need a pick me up. You are not doomed to be the weight you are for the rest of your life. You just need to look at alternate ways to eat things. I always bring veggies to the party and I also keep healthy snacks with me just in case there isn't anything there for me. If you like chips I get the Special K and they are wonderful they fit nicely in the purse. I know that it's a pain to carry your own stuff but remember how you feel right now, if you do this you will feel so much better about yourself.
Also, all the diet place-Jenny Craig, NutriSystem and so on-they don't really let you know up front what the cost is for the food and you could be spending lots of money-you will lose weight but again sometime you have to say hey do I really want to spend this much money-plus they only talk about food they don't talk about exercising and the whole package that you, yourself know on the inside that it's a complete change to eat healthy and exercise, it takes both to do and then it becomes a lifestyle that you will start to do because of habit. Also some of the food doesn't really taste all that great from what I heard from people who have done it in the past. Lots of money and the food sits.
At least I gave you a couple of things to think on I hope. Have a great weekend, keep your chin up and say to yourself "I LOVE ME" emoticon

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Thursday, March 17, 2011

Well, I've been off and delivered some pics this morning to a client and went and got flowers for my mother-in-law. They were beautiful and just the pick me up she needed. So we all feel better. Now, I had a replacement shake with milk, strawberries and protein powder in it and a small mandarin orange for b reakfast. For lunch I am going to eat leftover stuffed green pepper stuffed with beef, onion, garlic, pepper and couscou. I always add a little chopped jalapeno pepper to things like this to avoid using too much salt. Didn'teven add salt but it was fine to my taste. So if I can just pare my food down to items like this, I could start losing agin. And leave off the sweets. Happy St. Pat's. No green beer for me.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EDITOR 3/17/2011 2:22PM

    Happy St. Paddy's Day where everybody is a bit Irish.

Your stuffed pepper sounds good with couscou. I have the ingredients to make it later this week and I think it is a great idea.

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Thursday, March 17, 2011

Well, after only one week, I had to resume my intake of the little blue pill. I guess I am smart enough to realize that when I get a pain in my right eyebrow,next to my nose, it's not going to work. So I just went right back to the normal dose. If I want to eliminate a pill, it will have to be another one. Why add tylenol when you are trying not to medicate? And there is too much turmoil in my life right now.

My mother-in-law is 92 in June and she has been having a sciatic nerve problem with pain in her left leg and hip. We've been to the emergency room and been given pain meds and then Tuesday a.m., she fell and the ambulance had to come to help her up. We had a scheduled Doctor appmt on Tuesday afternoon and that took 3 hours while we waited, saw the nurse, and then had to get x-rays. The x-rays showed what we already knew, arthritis in the back. So there is nothing to be done except press on. We did have a medical massage therapist go to see her Wed morning and she felt better afterward. Then last night, while she was getting ready for bed, she fell again and another ambulance visit. My husband went over and got her into bed but she is very upset and of course, I had said something to her on Tuesday that upset her and she was mad about that. Sometimes you can't say anything right.

Hopefully today she will be better and not fall down. I will go over and take flowers. AS to dieting, what? I guess I just don't want to make the effort. And that's the truth. Effort would mean counting calories and I don't want to. So I am thinking about revisiting the mediterranean diet but that entails looking for the book again. Actually, I've cooked a couple of reasonable meals this week which is the first in a while. Tongiht is pig out again. A ribbon cutting at a restaurant and a business mixer.

Last night was my quilting Block of the Month meeting and I picked up blocks 5 and 6 of Patriots in Petticoats. And I'm working on my Bargello and I just ordered and received a quilt panel to make for 2 grandsons. It features a road traveling around stores and a school and I think they will love it with their cars. Now I've got too many projects and I have to complete one before I start another. At least the top part anyway. I've been looking for that road panel so when I found it online, it was on sale and of course had to get it.

Happy St. Patrick's Day1

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BOOKWERME 3/18/2011 1:33PM

    Caregiving is stressful. It takes special people to do it well and still keep thier own lives in balance. You deserve special emoticon and emoticon

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MARSHASTAR 3/17/2011 12:28PM

    Hope to see the finished quilts. , and I hope these projects serve as the much needed diversion in your hectic life. I sure understand why you just don't want to bother with the calorie counting.
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TATTER3 3/17/2011 9:43AM

    You are one busy woman. Bless your heart. I would love to see your stash. I'm a lot like you....too many things to do at once, but still Sparkin'. went off the program for the weekend with a paper due and now and back on it full force. Just keep Sparkin'! Eventually things will run more smoothly. Prayers for your MIL, and you all as caregivers!

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JSPEED4 3/17/2011 9:30AM

    You have some fun quilt projects going.

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