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How I became slim, trim and healthy. Day 26

Thursday, January 21, 2010


Okay okay, I had my meltdown earlier today and I must write this blog because it is one of my goals. I am going to do better with dinner, meatloaf, mashed potatoes and veggies. I've been drinking my water, I had a nap, I took some aspirin, and I'm going to get ready to take the dog for a walk even though I don't want to. She wants to. Until tomorrow. Carol

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Having a meltdown.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

I'm having a meltdown and I'm blogging to get it out of my system and get some help, too. This is my 26th day of blogging and being on spark. I lost 2 lbs in 26 days, big deal and last night, after an anniversary dinner out, this morning the scale read 2 lbs up. I am frustrated beyond belief.

I'm on page 128 of the SPARK where Chris says give yourself a pep talk and I need one for sure. I've been telling myself that weight sticks to me like glue and it is tough for me to lose and that seems to be true as I've tried as hard as I can. The big problems are when I am out eating, even when I try to be good. We eat out a LOT because of our professional circumstances and I just don't know if I can ever be able to lose this weight. Last night I had every intention of being good, and when it came to the entree, I was good. Pecan crusted tilapia with rice and vegetables. Huge piece of fish and ate about 2/3 of it and part rice and veg. Trouble is, our table mates ordered a bottle of wine, fried mozzarella sticks, fried mushrooms and hush puppies in advance. I ate some mushrooms, 2 puppies and had a glass of wine. And a cheese stick. One thing good, I passed on dessert and I didn't feel stuffed when I came home but I did have another oatmeal cookie and some milk. I was so BAD BAD BAD!

I have not been exercising except taking the dog for a daily walk. And today I woke up with pouring rain and a thunderstorm and a very scared dog. I am totally overwhelmed at the tasks I have at hand that have nothing to do with weight loss. My office is a pig sty, my house is a total wreck, and there are dog fur bunnies under the bed. I found them while looking for the TV controller that fell on the floor. I'm still behind on my 2010 business goals and I don't want to do it. I'm procrastinating big time. Read my lips, I don't want to do it. And it includes cleaning, catching up on business, putting stuff away, etc. etc. etc.

Okay, I just took a deep breath and I'm going to try and get something done today. Here are my goals for today.
1. I am going to take a shower and get dressed.
2. I am going to make the bed.
3. I am going to drink water.
4. I am going to attack my business like no other. I'm going to file, pay bills, look for accessory items to order for a couple of clients, file some more.
5. Every so often I am going to glance up at my trophy that says "Carol Stearns, 1995 Top Franchise of the Year, Decorating Den" and remind myself that I am really good at this and I can do it.
6. I am going to remind myself that I am not alone in this struggle. There are thousands of sparkers out there ready to help.

I read the article about not doing this alone and now I need to call in the help. Any helpers out there?

9:21 a.m. Okay, I've had my shower and made the bed and folded clothes, got dressed and drinking a glass of water. I took 2 extra strength tylenol just because. I'm looking at all of my trophies. I've gotten the bathroom ready for photography. Now I am going to determine what I'm going to do first Busness wise. Putting 2010 paid bills in a file would be a start. Just a simple folder until I can get to the big stuff.

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SGKAYLOR 1/21/2010 10:55PM

    emoticon Here's another trophy for your wall "Carol Stearns: a coach, a cheerleader, a motivator, an inspiration, a do-gooder, a helping hand, a spark, a friend; One of a kind"

emoticon Tomorrow's a new day, I hope it's a better one for you! emoticon

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4DOGNIGHT 1/21/2010 3:11PM

    Okay, I'm doing a little better after lunch and a nap. Bad habit of napping but it occurred to me as I lay there that I might be having a relapse of my depression considering I've given up some meds recently with my docs help. It's been about 4 weeks since I halved the last med so that would make a little sense. But I am definitely not going to go back to taking them without a fight. I just need to know that I have to concentrate more on what I'm supposed to do. Thanks all for your kind words and encouragement. After lunch I've been working on sending out my e-mail newsletter and just get it organized and I've accomplished a little bit more, ordered some items for clients, etc. So I'm moving. Here it is 2:11. The day is almost over. Meatloaf for dinner.

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    Hi Carol! You are great at venting, and that's not easy. You also sort things out by writing about them. Look at you, girl, you are making progress!!! The two pounds this morning is a fluctuation. Read that again. It is a fluctuation. Your water-drinking will get things moving through your body and it will help you get rid of the fluid from the extra salt. You can keep eating out . . . just keep moving with the dog. That is so much more than nothing . . . far more than you realize. After all, even with the two-pounds this morning you are buttoning pants you couldn't wear a month ago? That says a LOT. I worked out at the gym for six weeks this past summer before I hurt my shoulder and stopped going. I did not lose even one inch . . . anywhere . . . but for some reason, I got into smaller pants. The personal trainer's eyes teared up when she took my measurements. She knew how hard I had worked. But she said the composition of my body was changing first (less fat, more muscle). I had only lost three pounds (did not change my eating habits at all for this time at the gym), but it takes time to build the muscle which in turn burns more calories and eventually leads to weight loss. You are still in the early stages of all of this. Give yourself time, keep making smart choices at the restaurants (and bring home a box with leftovers for the next day's lunch or supper), keep walking the dog (maybe a little longer or more quickly), and keep drinking your water. And keep blogging! I'm so proud of you for how you are handling your feelings today. God bless you, you are succeeding!!! emoticon

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ALEXIAAG 1/21/2010 1:41PM

    I am with you on this one, we need to pencil ourselves in. My house is in a horrible mess, and the weather is bad. So instead of walking in the bad weather, I cleaned the carpet this morning before work. I think if we just try to keep moving during the day it might help us. I wish all of us luck today! Let's move, stretch, drink our water and make better food choices today. One day at a time ........

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4DOGNIGHT 1/21/2010 10:26AM

    Thanks and good idea about adding myself to the appmt calendar. I'm on there with the dog walk but I need to do something else too. At least I can button a pair of jeans I hadn't been able to wear a month ago. I'm going to check in a edit my blog all day to see how far I've come. 9;26 emoticon

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FABN50S 1/21/2010 9:52AM

    Don't give in to the feelings. I too am feeling like I am going to have a melt down today but I am not going to let it happen!

Because of my husband's job we too go out alot I am not going to beat myself up about it. I just have lowered my expectations of weight loss but I will loose. I know for me the exercise is the most important thing I need to find time for I too let the rest of the world get in the way of that so you and I need to work more on that. Starting today lets both use the appointment calander and add ourselves to that thing!
Good luck with your day. emoticon

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How I became slim, trim and healthy. Day 25

Wednesday, January 20, 2010


Here it is day 25 and I've lost 2 lbs since I started SPARK. 2 lbs, I ought to be discouraged but I'm not. I know it will take me a long time to show any progress at all. It always does. I will just have to pay attention to my nutrition planner and the nutritents I am eating. My pie chart fits right into the recommended food so I don't know why I don't lose weight faster.

I was out earlier today and about 5 min after I got home, it started raining buckets. And thunder. Panda hides when that happens. She hates rain and thunder.

Tonight we are going out to eat with my sister and her husband. Their anniversary of 42 years and our anniversary of 37 years! Imagine that, 79 years all together. I'll be getting some sort of fish, vegetables and salad. I know what to do. I will seriously have to get out and start exercising in February. That will help with the weight loss. Until tomorrow.

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    Yay!!! You are doing great, especially with your positive outlook. Happy 37th anniversary and have a lovely dinner together!

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How I became slim, trim and healthy. Day 24

Tuesday, January 19, 2010


Whew! I am so glad that January is almost over. THat means I have caught up on some business deadlines and only have a few more to go, such as getting tax information to the accountant. THat usually entails a review of all the reports that come out of my accounting program and some moving back and forth of items that are in the wrong place. I feel less of a burden on my shoulders this morning but there is still a lot to do.

My business has suffered this month due to SPARK. I have been so excited about reading and blogging and participating that I didn't want to do the mundane duties I had to get done. But things are settling in now and I'm getting focused on the work.

I have found the nutrition tracker to be the most useful tool on this site. I always hated tracking my food and never would do it. THus, when I would sneak in a handful of potato chips or a cookie or two, it wouldn't get counted and then I would wonder why I hadn't lost any weight. The last two days, I have been heavy on the calorie intake so I must get back to paying more attention to what I am eating. Or going to eat. Tracking it before you eat it can be a good tool. Now just to do it.

The weather has warmed a bit here in Florida but today is a gray day. In the afternoons, I can walk the dog and not have to wear mittens and scarves, just a light coat. In a month or so, I will be aching to get outside. Panda is so funny. She's a border colllie with a thick coat and she loves to stay outside in the cold. Last night, she spent a couple of hours under our deck, just loving it. In the spring, we have to shave her as then she is too hot with her heavy coat. But now is perfect for her. I took her for a mile walk yesterday, good for both of us.

I have so much cleaning to do in my house. There is so much clutter everywhere due to me just dropping things when I come in from an appmt. I want to get in and get things organized but when there is bookkeeping to do, that has to get done first and then the organizing doesn't get done. It can get overwhelming but the good thing is that I am okay. I've been weaning myself of anti-depressants with a doctor's help and I'm doing fine with it. Oh, what a wonderful day that will be to not have to have my pills refilled.

Until tomorrow.

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SGKAYLOR 1/20/2010 3:34AM

    Where in Florida are you? I was born & raised in Spring Hill, my parents still live there.

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TRIGFROST 1/19/2010 11:09AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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How I became slim, trim and healthy. Day 23

Monday, January 18, 2010


Yesterday was a blur of activity and we had pizza for dinner. And then I had a klondike bar. Oh, heaven sakes. Talk about mindless eating, ate 3 pieces of pepperoni pizza that tasted like cardboard. I wasn't going to do my nutrition tracker but I went ahead and filled it out this morning. How am I going to know how bad it was if I don't do it. Okay it was over 1700 calories, not all that bad. If I had limited myself to 2 slices, I probably would have been within range. So, the moral is, no matter how bad in your mind you think it is, if you keep track of your food, it might not be as bad as you think.

One of the articles I read this weekend was Donna's Journal and she said, before she ate anything she would enter it into her tracker. If she didn't like the results, she wouldn't eat it. Now that is something to think about. So, I am going to continue to track my food, even if I think it is bad. I might surprise myself.

Yesterday was family day. We usually go to early church but because we had a late night, we decided to sleep in. Before we went, we stopped at my mom-in-law's. One side of her face is completely black and blue and half on the other side from her fall on Wed. Other than that, she is doing well. We went to church, had an after church meeting, and then went to Golden Corral for lunch where I made careful selections. I am so excited about vegetables now, especially a mix of large pieces of carrot, broccoli, beans, peppers, etc. I piled my plate with them. Had some applewood scallops and a piece of barbecue chicken which I removed the skin. My dessert was soft ice cream. So I think I did well.
Then at 3:30, we brought my mom-in-law to our house and my son, his wife, Hannah who is 8 and our 2 month old grandson came over. We baby sat while they went to dinner. Thus, the pizza for Hannah. And Mom-in-law Grammie was so happy with holding the baby and feeding him. She didn't want to go home. It did her a world of good and I'm sure she'll be talking about it today to everyone she sees.

So my day was busy. We have a new camera and I had 200 pictures on it that I had not downloaded. You should have seen me running back and forth while I downloaded on two computers trying to get the thing to work. FInally did and now I have oodles of new pictures to publish. I'll get to that later.

I have made so many new friends on Spark. It is a big complement when someone reads my blog and writes a comment. I am also very happy when I can help someone else. So until tomorrow!

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SGKAYLOR 1/19/2010 1:17AM

    I've just started tracking my food again but that's not such a bad idea, may have to try it out if I don't like what the tracker says. Hope the MIL gets better soon! Babies are great, but to me the best part about them is giving them back to their parents when I'm done lol

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4DOGNIGHT 1/18/2010 4:45PM

    Great ideas Laura!

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USARUNNERGIRL 1/18/2010 9:40AM

    I hope your mother in law face starts healing up for her. I am sure it was really scary for her. It sounds like her day out and about made her feel much better. Isn't is amazing how much better babies can make anyone feel?

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LAURABELIEVES 1/18/2010 8:53AM

    I do like Donna does. That not only help me track how many calories I have left but if I see I am low on something (like protein) I may change what I am going to eat to keep even that on track.

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