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SO DISILLUSIONED, I WANTED TO CRY!

Tuesday, January 04, 2011

I need to go back and read my last blog or two. emoticon Today I had a meltdown and I wanted to cry. I had a 10:00 meeting with my photographer so thought about not going to WW but decided at the last min to go. It was packed with newbies of course. I weighed in and I gained 2.4 pounds so I am almost back to where I was when I started last year. I could just feel the tears welling up I was so frustrated. The girl next to me Kept telling me I could do it, just give it time but I've only gained weight since I went back in November before TG. I guess I set myself up for failure to join at that time but my lifestyle is so hectic and busy, I find myself out to eat half the time which is the kiss of death.

Okay, so I am going to be calm about this thing and decide what to do. Stay like I am or commit and give up alcohol and everything else that isn't within my allotted points. And get moving. I guess I really don't have the get up and go about it. Do I really want to weigh 160 lbs? Do I really? I'm just disgusted.

Out to dinner tomorrow night with friends. Going to DIsney Friday through Sunday, Going to Atlanta the following weekend. In between there's the Chamber Annual Banquet. And Niagara Falls at the end of the month. I guess I'm just having too much fun in my life to be troubled by a few pounds.

I'm not giving up though, it is just going to take a while to get on the WW track. Still havent' learned the new program enough to get settled into it so I don't know where I'm going. emoticon I feel better just venting. Later.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CELLOPLAYER1 1/4/2011 8:49PM

    You can loose weight while eating out. You just need to make good choices and watch the portion size. I lost 23 founds while having to eat out while our kitchen was being remodeled.

Hang in there you can do this!

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BUGGYS 1/4/2011 7:03PM

    I have been up and down for the past 10 years and just haven't gotten a handle on it until I went on SP...no, I haven't lost alot of weight but I am still encouraged by all of you who support me...so stick with it and with the healthy choices that you can make, you will do it!

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ELSCO55 1/4/2011 6:34PM

    We all have times that we get off track. The new program is so different,but you will learn it. Keep on tracking and you will beat the scale.

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REJ7777 1/4/2011 6:24PM

    That's what venting on SP is for! emoticon

You would probably be gaining a lot more if you weren't going to WW and Sparking! You'll get results equal to the effort you're willing to make. And right now, you're certainly making some efforts and getting some good results, even though not as good as you'd like. Every day is a new series of choices! emoticon

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ANDI571 1/4/2011 6:13PM

    You can eat out and get your weight under control. It's all about choices. I eat out most of the time. I ate out all 3 meals today.

I had an Egg McMuffin for breakfast. I made it less calories by taking off 1/2 of the muffin. For lunch we went to Red Lobster. I haven't had popcorn shrimp in forever so that is what I ordered. I did eat all of the shrimp, but just a few bites of the baked potato (I could have made it better to have taken off most of the butter), all of the salad, but dipped my fork in the dressing. I took a couple of bites instead of eating the whole biscuit. For dinner we ate Popeye's chicken. I pulled off all the skin and just ate the chicken, and had the mashed potatoes. I did eat 1/2 of the biscuit.

Granted today was a little higher than I usually do. I usually leave off the biscuits when I eat those places, but I just was in the mood to eat it today.

I order off of the kids menu or the senior menu's. D1 and I split meals most of the time. That way if we order an 8 oz. steak, I only get 4 oz. with 1/2 of a baked potato.

Just make wise choices when eating out, and most of all, stop when you start feeling full. It can be done, I am living proof (when I don't eat from emotions).

You can do it. Just don't quit. All you have done is slowed your process, you haven't stopped it. Good for you going to WW's today. I opted out of my meeting today.

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KASEYCOFF 1/4/2011 5:46PM

    I know what you mean, hon - we've ALL been there. And yes, it's a matter of choices: what do you want, and how much do you want it? If you are happier and more comfortable when you're not struggling to resist the things that make life enjoyable, it's an option. If you are willing not just to forego the 'goodies' for a short term for perhaps forever - in terms of lifestyle change - that's another option. Give it some careful thought and consider what you want most and what you're willing to do to get it. No judgment: it's what YOU are happiest with, Carol. emoticon

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JENNY888 1/4/2011 5:37PM

    Don't give up. You can do it. It will take awhile, but the correct habits will emerge. It is just harder than you originally thought. This happens to all of us.

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LEARN TO BE CALM AND YOU WILL ALWAYS BE HAPPY!

Monday, January 03, 2011

I finally learned that lesson, learn to be calm. I am so calm, it is ridiculous almost. Nothing seems to phase me. I digest it, and then get calm. How do I do it? Not sure except I have learned to turn it over to God. Philippians 4:1-9 says Do not worry about anything, but in prayer...let your requests be made know to God. (v6). On KASEYCOFF'S blog this morning, she had a list of questions and the first one is "What was the single best thing that happened this past year?" I guess I could say "I learned to be calm". OH, If I could just bottle up that feeling and pass it on to others!

I've learned not to stress about my weight. I was watching a Doctor on TV this morning who said to aim for a 5 to 10 lb weight loss in one year. I settled in with about a 5 lb loss last year so I am on. What I have to learn this year is how to exercise and fit it in and keep it up. I am such a slug.

I think it is not what I eat, but my lack of movement that keeps the weight on me. I have lost inches though as my clothes fit better and 2 pairs of corduroys that I bought about a year ago are baggie. THis is good so that when we go to Niagara Falls at the end of January, I'll be able to wear another layer underneath to keep warm.

What was the single most challenging thing that happened this year? Dealing with my mother-in-law and trying to be nice. Okay, that is one thing I'm not calm about so I need to work on that. I resolve to do better this year. Here's an example, yesterday after church, she wanted us to take down the Christmas wreath off her door and hang a pansy wreath. I thought she should leave the Christmas wreath up for a few more days for the 3 wise men to come but hubby instantly decided to jump to it and take it down. We ended up arguing about it and finally put up the Mardi Gras wreath as that is the next event to happen. Actually, hubby wants me just to shut up about it and I want to be right so I give my two cents and then he tells me to shut up and don't argue, etc.etc. So this year, I will try and do better.

I have a furniture delivery this morning so I need to quit and get ready. Later.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NOW2DAY 1/4/2011 5:46PM

    I enjoyed your last two blogs. I was wondering won't it be cold when you go to Niagara Falls, I always think about Marylin Monroe when I hear Niagara Falls and the movie she did there. I have to say when it comes to your mil wouldn't it be better to please her and be done with it than to argue. Love your background picture with the azaleas.

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PRAIRIECROCUS 1/4/2011 5:11PM

    I hope that you'll have a nice, calm 2011 !
All the best !

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SUNRISE14 1/3/2011 4:01PM

    I LIVED RIGHT NEXT DOOR TO MY MOTHERNLAW AND ANYTHING THAT DIDN'T DIRECTLY INVOLVE ME I STAYED OUT OF IT ! MAKES LIFE SO MUCH EASIER AND MAKES HUBBYS LIFE EASIER WHICH MAKES HIM LOVE AND RESPECT YOU MORE. AFTER MY MOTHERNLAW DIED 15 YEARS LATER MY DH THANK ME FOR NOT MAKING HIS LIFE TORTURE BY TRYING TO PLEASE HER AND ME ! I WOULD DO THE SAME IF SHE WAS LIVING TODAY ! AFTER ALL JOY IS JESUS-OTHERS- YOU emoticon emoticon

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DONNAEDA 1/3/2011 11:25AM

    Let your hubby deal with mom, and take yourself out of the equation. You should not be decorating her house. She needs to what she wants to do.

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SUNNYDAZE9 1/3/2011 11:17AM

    I, too, like your Bible verse. But I don't think I have reached your calmness state yet.

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MAGA99 1/3/2011 9:49AM

    emoticon

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KASEYCOFF 1/3/2011 9:43AM

    For what it's worth, I find a lot more tranquility when I pracitce some simple meditation techniques. Otherwise - I would need a powerful anger management course, lol--! :-D

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A-LITTLE-DAB 1/3/2011 9:33AM

    Calm, conentment, peace - these are things to be valued and pursued. God can give you a love for your DMIL He did that for me. Thank you for sharing.

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JAN 1 AND OVERWHELMED ALREADY!

Saturday, January 01, 2011

Well I had my coffee and sat down to review my e-mails. Here it is 8:33 a.m on Jan 1 and I'm already overwhelmed. PIles of papers on my desk, stuff everywhere, tree still up, 2 books half read, WII FIT still in the box, kitchen table still has leaf in it with Christmas table cloth, etc. etc. etc.
So when my messages included one from Better Homes and Gardens entitled
OUR BEST ORGANIZING TIPS ROOM BY ROOM, I pounced on it. Go to www.bhg.com and look for organizing tips.
Anyway, I went straight there and took the quiz to determine what organizing sense I have. ARE YOU KIDDING? I'm supposedly a Schoolteacher Type! I'm predictable and reliable (reliable yes, predictable, not so sure. Have to ask my friends); a rule-follower (ARE YOU REALLY KIDDING?) I look for anyway possible to break the rules, to do things a different way; and I'm structured by not afraid of spontaniety. (Will I drop everything to have fun) Don't think so, sometimes maybe, usually not.
I must have really answered wrong, have to go back and look. I did get a couple of good ideas and I created a folder called ORGANIZING and this year I intend to drag all of those organizing e-mails over to it and save them. For what, I'm not sure, but I guess I can refer to them occasionally.

I printed out the month by month storage plan that is supposedly designed for me and there were a couple of good things. One is to create a goal list of 12 things, one for each month. That is a good idea, I think I can do that. January is attack the home office and as I look around, I definitely need to do that so that is first on my list. So January will be spent organizing the office and I'll start with filing last years bills that are about 6 months high.

Well, I guess I have to give up now and go take the tree down. Hubby is already watching the FSU/South Carolina game that we didn't get to watch last night because we went to a party. Here we are at the party and he has his I-phone checking the score all night. Finally we went to the bar and watched the final 5 min of the game. We are really FSU nerds.

HAPPY NEW YEAR! Later.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PRAIRIECROCUS 1/2/2011 5:38AM

    Happy New Year 2011 !
All the very best to you and yours !

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TOWHEE 1/1/2011 10:06PM

    I guess I'd better got to that website and see what they think of me. I'm a pack rat and am having trouble letting go. I know that I don't need bank statements from 20 years ago, but what if ....

I think I'll tackle the home office first too. If I can get rid of some of these boxes, then I'll have more room to do my floor exercises.

Happy New Years.


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DONNAEDA 1/1/2011 11:08AM

    I love organizing, I wish I could help you. I touch a paper only once. Either I toss it, or I file it or I put it in a pile for "action". Thats a key to success for you.

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KASEYCOFF 1/1/2011 10:21AM

    I hear ya, hon - 'Clear the clutter' is near the top of my list, too. So I'm looking at one little bit at a time. It didn't get where it is overnight, and it won't get 'undone' overnight, but... I will chip away at it. I am DETERMINED!!! emoticon

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LOOKING FORWARD TO 2011!

Friday, December 31, 2010

This morning I thought about what goals I might set and I decided that my goal would be to continue on a healthier path. I have gone all year battling to lose weight and after this morning's weigh in, I can say I probably have lost 5 lbs in total. At one point I had lost 8 but now am up a bit.
Now I would say this is very good progress in light of the fact that I have an active social life with lots of food and drink thrown at me at least a few times a week. At least I didn't put on lots of weight over the holidays and have a ton to lose and the agony of going on a strict diet facing me.

I fully intend to go back to WW on Tuesday morning but have already started the process yesterday of counting my points. Tonight we have a big new year's party but I can handle it. I plan to start drinking water at about 10:00 so I can drive home if necessary. And there will be plenty of dancing.

My goals are to continue:
WW with an increase in veggies and fruit instead of junk food.
Continue efforts to walk more and move around.
Cook more healthy meals at home and make healthier selections.

I feel pretty good about my year which is such an improvement over past years. I am totally at ease with myself. I am very happy and relaxed.

I've been going back and reading my blogs from last year. I wish there was a way we could print them all off into a book form without paper. Happy New year everyone and see you next year!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PRAIRIECROCUS 1/1/2011 4:48AM

    Happy New Year !
Good luck with your Goals !

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LOVINGMYSELF101 12/31/2010 6:09PM

    Becoming at peace with your body is HUGE, and one of my goals right now, not when I reach a certian number on a scale.

Thanks for the wonderful comment on my blog, it really meant a lot to read your words of encouragement!

Thanks! -Rose

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AJDOVER1 12/31/2010 12:08PM

    I wish you all the best! I love reading your blogs -- thank you.

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KASEYCOFF 12/31/2010 9:46AM

    When you are making healthier choices more of the time than you were before... when you are mindful about walking, dancing, moving, burning calories... when you are planning to keep an eye on the intake of freggies... then you have not only improved over where you were a year ago, but you are healthier overall, no matter what the actual number on the scale is. You have made progress, and following the steps you've outlined will see more progress, more improvement. How quickly it happens, how long it takes, are not issues: moving in the right direction is. And you are doing that.

One of the things I plan to do this year is focus on overall health rather than weight. I mean, it's always been in the background - one of the main reasons I started on this path - but I could weigh 125 (don't hold your breath, lol), wear a size 8, have a BMI in the normal range, and still not be truly healthy. I've been reading articles about percentages of body fat, so this year, my target (goal, resolution, whathaveyou) is to get the body fat percentage down, whether the weight changes or not.

Here goes--! emoticon

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CLEANING UP MY ACT AND PLANNING AHEAD!

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Second Blog today but I felt like cleaning up my act. I went through the teams that I belong to and eliminated about 1/3 of them. I left all the sewing and quilting teams and the WW team and the Florida team just because. I really want to get into the WW Points Plus program big time but it requires some effort and a learning curve. I already have a busy January ahead of 3 times away so that is tough but it can be done.

On January 7th we go to DisneyWorld as we do every year at this time. It is the Walt Disney Marathon Weekend and our youngest son, his wife, 2 grandsons will be there and her parents and sister. It is always such a fun time. My son lost 30 plus pound this year at WW which is incredible for him and his wife is a lifetime member so I can get encouragement. They are not familiar with the new program. On January 14th I will fly to Atlanta to attend the Winter Merchandise Market! Haven't been for several years because it usually falls on the same weekend as Disney but this year I can go. Will join another decorator friend for 2 days of shopping on 26 floors of merchandise! Both of those away times require lots of walking so if I can just eat sensibly ----.
The Last weekend of the month, hubby has booked a 2 day vacation to fly to Niagara Falls. Vision Airlines has just established a route here to fly to Niagara and back for $69 each way so that was my Christmas present. My sister and her husband are going with us so that should be fun and very cold! We will walk to Canada and back as our hotel is right there.

January 11th is the chamber's annual banquet and Jan 6th is the first Coffee etc. etc. So I am already faced with eating challenges and the year hasn't even started yet. I do have an interesting life and so grateful to be able to do so much.
I must and will get into WW and learn the new program so I can eat sensibly. Later.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PRAIRIECROCUS 12/31/2010 7:34AM

    Happy New Year 2011 to you and yours !
I hope that you will have a great time at DisneyWorld !

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TOWHEE 12/30/2010 10:53PM

    Yes, there is a learning curve with WW, but if you have been a WW member in the past, you already know half of it. I think you will become surprised at how natural it feels after only a couple of weeks.

Margaret


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KASEYCOFF 12/30/2010 11:33AM

    We've been to Niagara several times, sometimes staying on the US side, sometimes staying on the Canadian side. But whichever side we are on we try to get in at least one walk to 'another country,' lol. Yep, I'm sure it will be cold, but what a great weekend getaway! The falls are usually frozen over at this time of year, and it's a gorgeous sight. emoticon

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EDITOR 12/30/2010 10:15AM

    No matter how you do it this year, I believe you will. emoticon

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DONNAEDA 12/30/2010 9:56AM

    Please check in with WW it is a wonderful program. I love it. Yes there is a learning curve and I wasn't sure I would like it. But I'll tell you.......I can eat more food nd I am never hungry. I don't eat my 29 points most days but they are there if I need them This is a more senible food plan. Don't let your lifestyle interfer with your eating. I found that you can eat sensibly on this food plan in restaurants and at other peoples homes. Now its just about portion control. I love that fruit is 0 points. That is a God send.

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