Tuesday, October 26, 2010
On sunday, we had a children's sermon and the sermon giver gave us the above quote, "Be the change you want to see for the world!" Doesn't that say it all, if we all changed for the better, the way we want others to be, this world might be a better place.
I was reviewing my blogs for the last 2 months and I had to go all the way back to Sept1, 2010 to find something positive that I've said. I was at 179, briefly for about a day. Since then, there is so much going on in my life, I've completely lost my way for my self and my health.
First the chaos of renovations. Then at that time, the hospialization of 24 year old Anne in Spain only to culminate in her death yesterday. That really affected me, I guess because I know her Mom so well and I know the pain she and her husband have and will experience in the future. And I so wanted her to live, to fall in love, get married, have children. There was an article in today's paper about her and it seems that she was probably kept alive on machines for several weeks and finally it was no use.
Interspersed with that sadness were 2 happy weddings and visiting with our son and grandchidren. Then, at home, my other son and family are facing financial difficulties and my nearly one year old grandson is having major surgery to correct a birth defect on Wed. I am sad for that but hopeful it will be okay. And I also know it will probably add to their financial woes. I'll be on standby to help out with my granddaughter and whatever else they need.
And doctor's appmts for my mother-in-law continue. Yesterday and tomorrow and again in another week. It's never ending. So I guess I can understand giving up on myself while I attended to these other needs. I completely went off the diet track and now I am trying to climb back on. I've been having fun in between chaotic moments, completely and utterly forgoing fruit and veg. I was at a business mixer on Thursday evening and there was a beautiful buffet. Trays loaded with fruit and fresh veggies. I avoided them like the plague and went for the fried chicken, stuffed mushrooms and eggs, and little sandwiches, and of course 5 or 6 little brownie balls. What is wrong with me? I had the opportunity for all that fresh food and passed it up!
I received the book and mp3 player I ordered for the walking program. But I've been disinterested in it. I really need to pep talk myself. Thursday we are flying up to North Carolina for the FSU vs NCSTate Football game and visiting with aforementioned son and grandchildren. Then on Friday, we are driving to WIlliamsburg for a quick getaway weekend. Then Sunday back to Greensboro for a Halloween party with grandsons and family. That should be fun and we have to go in costume. I have my "queen" costume from Mardi Gras ready to go. Back on Monday and then surgery on Wed and then another party on Saturday. And work in between.
Yesterday, I pigged out on candy corn and m&m's. As I sat there with handfuls of them, eating one at a time, I came to the conclusion I had to start thinking about being the change I wanted to be. I have to stop the candy binge. I have to leave the candy alone at that party on Sunday night or I will be sick. Lord give me the strength to keep it out of my mouth and bob for apples instead. I'll be searching for help from all you Sparkers to get me out of this mess. Later.