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THE TRUTH! DAY 119

Saturday, April 24, 2010

YOU CAN'T LOSE WEIGHT AND KEEP IT OFF WITHOUT CHANGING YOURSELF!

In terms of eating right and following the spark system, this week was challenging to say the least. I had a goal at the beginning of the year to cook dinner at home 5 out of 7 nights a week. I've done pretty well all year up until recently. And this week we were out nearly every night due to ribbon cuttings, and special events, etc. Thursday at noon we had a ribbon cutting at a new hospice company and they provided us lunch from Sonny's bar-b-que. I sat down to pulled pork bar-b-que, beans and slaw and chocolate cake with icing. That was just one meal. Last night we went to a nice restaurant with the barbershoppers and I had 3 beers! Food was all right but 3 beers? How am I expected to lose weight when I eat and drink like this? So I am fessing up here and vowing to be accountable this week.

I haven't tracked all of my nutrition for several weeks so today I decided to track yesterday, including the 3 beers and everything else I ate. Surprisingly, the whole day only netted 2147 calories! I expected much worse but I guess my meals during the day were low in calories which made up for it. So you see, if I track daily, I might find out that what I thought was a bad day, actually wasn't that bad.

I need to do this. I am on the verge of retreat. The time in everyone's weight loss journey when they give up and gain it all back. I've only lost 5 to 7 pounds, 5 today. As the 2 lb fluctuation is back and seems to be staying. There's a new team, Eating Without Compromise and I've joined up. There is lots of daily info being sent to my mailbox and I read the part about making a vision statement on why I want to lose and what do I want my life to look like. So I am going to concentrate on that today. In addition, I never did a vision collage so I need to think about that. I will focus on what I CAN do and I won't get down on myself. I think when we get down on ourselves, we allow ourselves to retreat back to our old ways. So that is out of the question.

I am setting goals for this week only. 1. Cook dinner 5 out of 7 nights. 2. limit sweets to a special evening or occasion. 3. Examine exercise options and figure out why I am avoiding them. I'll try out a DVD to see if I can get it to work and maybe come up with a simple routine to do each day. 4. Work on a vision statement. 5. Weigh in on Monday and record the actual weight. 6. Complete nutrition tracking daily.

I must be truthful to myself. Number 1 step to weight loss and good health. Sneaking food and not recording it is a lie. I don't lie to others, why do I lie to myself? And God who knows all?

I'm looking forward to an inspirational day today!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KASEYCOFF 4/24/2010 2:17PM

    I'm with you: setting out these goals is making a re-commitment to your determination to be healthier. One thing - and since I don't know a lot about beer (!) I could be all wrong here, but can you find 'lite' beer most places? And if you can, is there a significant saving in calories in that? Or is it just supposed to be less alcohol, rather than fewer calories? :-)

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JUST_TRI_IT 4/24/2010 1:13PM

    Great goals for the week... You sound very "mindful." Isn't it interesting how just writing in the blog helps get us to commit to something? I like that!

Here is to a FANTASTIC week for you!

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MAKULEWAHINE 4/24/2010 12:40PM

    I know that today will bring you inspiration and motivation. Pounds fluctuate over time so you are doing well. Writing down your food intake is really an eye-opener, isn't it? I have actually gotten to the point that if I feel like having a beer or hard lemonade, I see calories instead of a treat. Sad but true. The only time I truly enjoy a beer anymore is after a long day of gardening in the heat or a hard bike ride. If I drink a lemonade I choose the light version and get just as much pleasure. I even am so weird that when I pass restaurants now I see sodium content and calories. I so am not tempted as much as I used to be. But that pulled pork etc. Hmmm. That would be hard!

It's good that you checked the actual calorie count and you can see that you can make adjustments when your choices aren't that healthy. And exercise. That is my saving grace.

Good luck. You are doing an awesome job.

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RITAROSE 4/24/2010 11:21AM

  I see nothing but hope for success in your blog! You've looked at the things you've either not done or done wrong and this will surely make all the difference as you persevere to work your plan for weight loss and healthy eating! I like your goals and I encourage you to review them daily. emoticon emoticon emoticonHugs, Ritarose

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STRESS AND FOOD! DAY 118

Friday, April 23, 2010

I CAN LOSE WEIGHT AND KEEP IT OFF. I JUST HAVE TO KEEP GOING!

Yesterday afternoon was stress city. I had a new bookkeeper coming to assess the situation and I was working on my accounts to send some checks because I wouldn't be able to do so for a couple of days. Well, the printer wouldn't print. It just wouldn't. And then she came and tried to help me and we unplugged and plugged and did this and that and no printing. And the computer was sooooo slow for some reason and after 3 hours I was on pins and needles and pretty much determined the printer wasn't going to work.
Then hubby came home and he was mad at our older son and having an argument and it went on and on and the pins and needles were sticking in further and further. Your body just gets so tight when it is stressed. We went to Ruby Tuesday's and I had 2 beers and a nice dinner. Then later, I got out the rest of the chocolate ice cream and ate it out of the box. And I was so tired. Then I got out the jar of cheeto balls and ate handfuls of them. I just wanted to eat eat eat. Finally, after watching the final of Project Runway, I just couldn't sleep so I took a tylenol PM. This morning I couldn't get up. The printer is off at the repair place and I hope it is repairable or it is a new one and I have to have a laser color printer.
Then, my e-mail program got stuck this morning and I couldn't get it to do anything and finally had to send my finished article to hubby for him to forward to the newspaper. I laid down at lunch and slept for an hour and a half. Now I am eating an apple and drinking my water and getting this blog in. I have to make up for yesterday's eating fiesco and we are eating out again tonight. I've done okay today. I will not gain this weight back and I will start losing again!

FInally the computer is working sans a printer. A friend reported a 4 lb loss today on Spark and I am so envious. I am not going to quit. And tonight is relay for life so at least I will get to walk around the stadium several times after dinner. Wed I climbed the stairs at least a dozen times in my client's new home and measured a dozen windows, arms up and down. And carted that 25 lb woven shade book into the house along with several others. I ought to be able to count that as exercise. And I got down on the floor and crawled around all the cords and plugs that go with a computer trying to figure what was plugged in and where. That ought to count as well. Anyway that is my story for today. I need a buddy to be accountable to so I will go back to tracking my nutrition daily. I have not done so and I think it is so necessary. Happy Friday!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

APRILLSCOTT 4/24/2010 3:06AM

    OMG! What an awful day! Just wake yourself up and go back to sleep and pull the covers over your head. Before you do tell the emoticon you are not dreaming this nightmare again!!! Tell him he better leave or there's going to be a brawl like he's never seen before, and you already have declared the winner and it ain't him!!!! emoticon.

Gosh! I thought that I could only have days like this....never dreamed anyone else could emoticon!!! Thanks for posting this, it makes me seem just a little normal emoticon!

My motto is... It ain't over till the Fat Woman Sings....and I ain't singing yet....This too shall pass..... Tomorrow is a new beginning!

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KASEYCOFF 4/23/2010 4:26PM

    They have a saying here in Britain for days like you had: 'I'm glad to see the back of THAT one!' Put it behind you, lift your head, and keep on goin'. Say, isn't that somebody's new motto? :-)

p.s. EYE'm envious of the 4-poud loss too. I'd like to do that my own self--!

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JUST_TRI_IT 4/23/2010 3:44PM

    OH my dear.. what a day you have had!!! Chalk that one up and OUT.
Yeah... I'd count all that walking,crawling, carrying for SOMETHING! Maybe at the Relay for Life you can double up on speed?

I hope the rest of today is MUCH MUCH better..

BTW.. Love the Rhodies in the background :)

Diane


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I CAN LOSE WEIGHT! DAY 117

Thursday, April 22, 2010

I CAN LOSE WEIGHT AND KEEP IT OFF BECAUSE I AM CHANGING MY ATTITUDE TOWARD FOOD!

I changed my mantra into a more positive one. My old one started with you can't lose weight so I'm ditching that and making it I CAN LOSEWEIGHT. Okay, I've been reading Geneen Roth's new book and it is hard for me to get an ah ha moment from it so far. However, last night she finally hit a nail. She is talking about "inquiry". I call this analyzing. When you inquire, you begin with whatever is happening now. She uses the example of eating a whole pizza. Inquire or analyze the real reason why you are eating that whole pizza or the reason you are sleeping all day. She says for you to become curious about feelings and sensations and listen to your body. And stop bossing yourself around! Like, telling yourself, I am not going to cheat anymore!

I was at a ribbon cutting yesterday afternoon with great food and I was confronted with a dessert table laden with paperbags made out of chocolate and chocolate covered strawberries falling out of them. And tiny cheesecakes and key lime tarts, chocolate tarts, assorted cookies, fresh fruit and a cheese tray and fudgie brownie looking squares. They even had a beautiful decorated cake but lucky for me, they hadn't cut it yet when I left. So I stood there and had about 5 choc covered strawberries, and 2 tarts. I was really proud of myself because in the past, I would have had one of each cookie, tart, brownie, strawberry and then gone back for seconds on the one I preferred the most. Really, I would have. And I would have stayed around for the cake cutting and had the corner piece with the most icing. And all this after I had tried all the other food as well, stuffed mushrooms and eggs, roast beef sandwiches, chicken salad etc. I only had one small plate of other food so all this is progress.

BUT! And the big BUT!! is; Aren't I trying to lose weight? If I am trying to lose weight, why am I eating the dessert in the first place? Why am I having the bottle of beer or the ice cream in the freezer or the cheese balls in the cupboard. Why am I doing this? I guess that is what Geneen is saying about making an inquiry about your feelings and sensations. I think I ate the strawberries and tarts so I could say I had fewer desserts than I would have had last year. This is true but am I being true to my desire to lose weight? Am I really making that effort a real and true one? Sure I made progress but that kind of progress isn't helping me to lose the pounds I keep saying I want to lose.

So now I inquire, do I really want to lose those pounds or do I just want to look and feel good at the weight I am at? Am I really sabotaging myself by cheating and saying it is okay? Why do I think I want to weigh 160? Why why why. I'll have to think about all of this. But one thing for certain, I am reallly going to make the effort to track all of my food today and monitor the caloric intake and not cheat. Just for today. And then tomorrow I'll start again.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JUST_TRI_IT 4/23/2010 3:39PM

    I like this idea of "inquiry." WE can apply that to so much in life, no?

May today be another INQUIRY-FULL day :)

D

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MARSHASTAR 4/23/2010 11:55AM

    I'm so glad to be alone and not have to deal with all that! Every day I set my small goals, and it gets easier for me. You are very active, and out there daily. I can't offer any good advice except to say you will never be sorry for NOT eating.
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KASEYCOFF 4/22/2010 3:28PM

    I believe: I believe you can do anything you set out to do. And the more 'tools' you put in the toolbox - whether it be the idea of inquiring / analyzing, or logging your food intake, or blogging as a way of sorting your thoughts - the better you will succeed. emoticon

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GCHUNG 4/22/2010 9:54AM

    I have confidence you will succeed.

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MSCHELLE0370 4/22/2010 8:59AM

    Excellent way to view things. I think that I'm going to start "inquiring" myself to see why I am doing things as well and see if that helps me out. Seems like common sense, although we just don't do it often enough. Keep up the good attitude and you will do great! emoticon emoticon

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TBONE13 4/22/2010 8:53AM

  YES YOU CAN !!!!!

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AMGM2001 4/22/2010 8:48AM

    Great attitude! This attitude will get a long way, and before you know it, you will be doing awesome!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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AFTERNOON BLOG. DAY 116

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

I CAN'T LOSE WEIGHT AND KEEP IT OFF WITHOUT CHANGING MY OUTLOOK On Dieting!

I rewrote my mantra above to reflect what I should be saying about myself and not others in general. I like to get up, have my coffee and then blog, spending a little early morning time Sparking. Today I had a meeting and then an appointment which was a very nice one, all windows which is my favorite. So I'm late on my blog and the day is half over. What will I talk about?

I've been reading Geneen Roth's new book and I'm having trouble digesting it. Here is a quote; "Your relationship with food, no matter how conflicted, is the doorway to freedom, says Roth. What you most want to get rid of is itself the doorway to what you want most: the demystification of weight loss and the luminous presence that so many of us call "God." HUH??? I'm on page 63 but I might have to read this several times unless someone out there can decipher it.

I just went looking for the previous book I had by her and I must have given it away. But I did find about a dozen other weight loss digests, Dr. Phil, Dr. Oz, Weight Watchers, the cholesterol cure, etc. etc. I have discovered something while I've been on this site. Yesterday I commented on someone's blog about their recent 10 pound weight loss and how I wish I could get to 10 pounds. How selfish of me. This person needs to lose over 100 pounds and I'm worried about a few. I am fortunate in that I have so little to lose and there are others that really have a problem with their relationship to food. In fact, I feel that I look and feel pretty good. What's driving me to the weight loss is the number 160. Yearning for that # 160. Feeling it is so out there. Unreachable. I think what Geneen is trying to tell me is that there is something inside ourselves that we disrespect, don't like, and that we turn to food to fill the void. IT is only after we come to terms with that inner self can we lose the weight. I think that might be what she is trying to say.

Anyway, my stomach is growling and I'm trying to ignore it. I had lunch and I had some yogurt. I shouldn't be hungry and there isn't anything out in the kitchen that I feel like eating. So why is my stomach growling? Is it acid reflux? I'm drinking water to fill the void. Maybe that will help. Anyway, I'm rambling but it feels good. Tomorrow

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FOOFIT1 4/22/2010 1:11AM

    I don't think you should feel bad about commenting about how you can't wait to be down 10 lbs. All of us are on a journey. 10 lbs to you may seem like 100!!! You will be there soon, don't you worry!

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4DOGNIGHT 4/21/2010 6:20PM

    Great idea.

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JWADDELL2 4/21/2010 5:08PM

    I think you did as good as anyone to translate that!! Good job! I have tried to change my response to hunger or stomach growling - at least that hunger, etc., that is not right before a meal - as a message to myself...."Self, (it is saying) this hunger feeling is a SIGN that you are losing weight!! Right now!! Yea!!" So I don't eat because right then I am losing weight....Okay, I am a bit strange, but it is working!!

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SCALE STILL LEANING LEFT. DAY 115

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

YOU CAN'T LOSE WEIGHT AND KEEP IT OFF WITHOUT CHANGING YOURSELF!

emoticon That's me, throwing the scale out the window. I still had to lean left this morning to read 180. I looked longingly at the 160 #, 20 lbs away. Will I ever get there? Not if I keep having ice cream in the freezer. I think I need to have a talk with myself about ice cream. What is it that I'm attracted to? Flavor doesn't really matter. Any ice cream will do. It's cold and smooth and easy to eat. I love every bite and scrape the bowl and wish for more. Oh, why ice cream and not pie? Or something else. I think I am going to just have to not buy it and insist that hubby not buy it. But you know, summer is ice cream time. We always went for ice cream in the summer after our dinner. There was a place in Maine on a farm where they made homemade ice cream and the line to get it was always soooo long. But we patiently stood there to get it. It was so good. I loved it when my mom would make home made ice cream. Yum! If I didn't have the ice cream , I would replace it with yogurt. I think it will be gone after tonight so no more ice cream in the house!

I got Geneen Roth's new book, WOMEN, FOOD AND GOD. Haven't gotten too far into it but she writes so well. She was always super overweight and was on every diet there was. Then she just gave up dieting and just ate and slowly lost the weight. So I'm anxious to read what she has to say. Maybe she'll talk about ice cream.

I made a nice furniture sale last night! Yea! Business is picking up! I had to order some new woven wood and shade samples. They are so expensive but you have to have them and I'm seeing a client tomorrow with a brand new home and lots of windows and she wants woven woods. I unpacked the box today and that thing is heavy. The sample bag is 25 pounds! I got on the scale with it. It needs wheels. How on earth am I supposed to drag that thing around. Yesterday was bad enough, I had to take 5 large wallpaper books back to the store. And today I need to put back all the upholstery samples I don't need anymore. Does all that count for exercise? Then I have to climb into the garage, around the T-bird packed there, to find the old woven wood sample book and get rid of it. Also, the old price book and toss it as I got a new one of those. Then I got a four page update of upholstery fabrics from another company and I have to go through all those fabrics again to delete the bad ones. It never ends, keeping your samples updated. And then you have to find space for new ones. I used to sell wallpaper but no one wants it anymore so I have a bookshelf full of books and half are probably discontinued anyway. If I dumped those, I'd have more shelf room for those new sample books and easier to get to.

I can't bear to throw out fabric books and samples. My love of fabric prohibits that and now that I'm making bags and other projects, I may need them. SURE!!

If anyone can suggest a way for me to give up ice cream and start losing pounds, I would appreciate knowing the secret! Later.

  
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4DOGNIGHT 4/21/2010 3:39PM

    emoticon

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NANJUN 4/20/2010 6:36PM

    I didnt know so many people had my "affliction" ICECREAM!

I love it. I dare not bring home a half gallon because I am not happy till it is all gone. I love Pralines and cream made by Blue Bell.
My son us to help me eat up the bucket but now he is diabetic and cant have it.
I just dont bring it home anymore.


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SGKAYLOR 4/20/2010 3:52PM

    I love ice cream too, but I found the little individual sizes to be awesome! I can eat one so I still get my "fix" but don't feel guilty for eating too much, and sure I could go back and get another one but I stop myself from doing that because you know what you're doing when you're walking back to the freezer so you can talk yourself out of it. And trust me when I said I love it I mean it, if we have a carton in the freezer I will go make myself a huge bowl & think nothing of it till after it's all gone(then I feel guilty). So to me those individuals have been a lifesaver!!

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BACONLADY 4/20/2010 12:48PM

    Hey!
I caution you in buying packages of individual servings...When ice cream calls... it calls..
I finally had to make a rule.. no more rocky road in the house.
I'm not happy with it till I have savored every bite..
If its not in the house, I'm ok.
If I buy some other flavor or form of ice cream as a substitute, I will go through it just as quickly.
If you want ice cream.. wait till you go out to dinner and then have a serving for your dessert..

Plan for it in your day and you won't feel guilty and it won't ruin your plan for the day..

Oohh.. the wallpaper books are so valuable! I hope you can find someplace to give them to as resources for art material.. even try nursing homes or assisted living homes..
YUP! You did a lot of very meaningful exercise when you were going through all of your decorating business supplies and moving things around!!

Have a lovely day!




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LKWQUILTER 4/20/2010 11:16AM

    The only way I don't eat ice cream is not have it in the house. When the grands come, we buy some and then they have to finish it or take it home with them. lol Good luck.

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4DOGNIGHT 4/20/2010 10:45AM

    If I could I would ship these wallpaper books over to you. It would be better for us to buy individual servings of ice cream or fudge pops, etc. Duh! Then I could choose or not. Thanks

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KASEYCOFF 4/20/2010 10:31AM

    My two (or four, or five?) cents' worth:

1) Tell him if he wants ice cream he will have to eat it away from home - no more bringing it back.
2) Get a little ice cream freezer, you know, one of the little machines, of your own: you can make sorbets, sugar-free ice cream, frozen yogurt, whatever you like, for hot-weather treats.
3) Edy's 'diet' ice cream, or sugar-free ice cream, or frozen low-fat / low-cal yogurt, or individual mini-pots or popsicles, already portion-controlled.
4) Who knew that interior decorating would give you such a workout? You are certainly getting your exercise!
5) Wallpaper sample books: Scouts (boy or girl), art schools, and vacation bible school (as long as they don't do 'only' the prepackaged stuff). Myself, I used to get plain wooden boxes when they were on sale and use Mod-Podge (and similar stuff) to apply wallpaper. Cut out motifs and use them for accessories. Cover cheap trays on the bottom, and spray with clear acrylic - great for using in the car, for kids, eating on your lap... Well, I'm carrying coals to Newcastle, aren't I? Bet you already know this stuff, lol...

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