Sunday, February 03, 2013
Well, the whole month of January seemed like a bust to me. I was sick for almost 3 weeks and finally feel like I'm recovering and have a bit of energy. On January 16, we brought my MIL home to live with us, we thought. When she saw us that Monday, back from Disneyworld, her whole face lit up with a smile. She was so happy to see us and strongly walked out of the building, saying goodbye to everyone. The next day she started coughing and we found out that we were not suited for the continuous care she was needing. At her regular doctor appmt on 23 Jan, they sent her to the hospital and then sent her back to the nursing home where she will stay until the end, whenever that is.
She isn't doing well, not eating. She did say when she went back there that she knew that was where she needed to be. We just left her and the nurse said she did not eat any breakfast and was going to take her to the dining room for her lunch to make sure she eats something. Both my husband and I feel the end is near and I pray that the Lord takes her quietly in her sleep. Just some night, dont' wake up. She still coughs quite a bit but she is definitely failing. She has had a very good life and I"ve been grateful to have such a wonderful mother-in-law. We have had our differences but I always loved her. Hey, I had differences with my own mother who died when I was 30 and she was 60. So young to have died then.
So it is just a matter of time. My biggest loser contest has gone by the wayside in January but I am definitely going to try and regroup in Feb and at least lose 10 lbs more. I was hoping for 30 eventually. The competition has been a bust for sure. My friend and I are disillusioned about it but I will press on and make an effort. Later.
Saturday, January 26, 2013
So I'm in this Biggest Loser Competiton and been sick for almost 2 weeks, gone for a week and totally frustrated. I had to skip my personal trainer on Tuesday due to coughing my head off so today I'm feeling some better and decide to go to the gym to the boot camp. Dreaded the thought but forced myself to go.
I walk in and there is an old guy at the desk who doesn't know anything about where it is going to be and what time or should I have paid in advance. I see another biggest loser member wearing her t-shirt so I sit next to her on the bike. She is frustrated as well and more overweight than I am.
There is no visible clock in front of the bikes and so I just keep rolling along. I have to turn my head to see the clock and discover it is almost 11:00 and the bootcamp was supposed to start at 10:45. So I get up and look in the exercise room but those folks in there are too skinny to be in this competition. So I ask and someone says it is out back. Out back? What does that mean, where out back?
I run into Heather who is the nutrition coach and ask her. I tell her how frustrated I am and she says that most people go up and down in weight. Then she tells me to go out back. How do I get there? I finally walk around the buiding and there are about 25 people jumping up and down and sideways in the parking lot. Another woman comes by and says she is late as well and invites me in. I watch for a min and I am totally uncomfortable and embarrassed so I just turn and leave and go home.
So why do old fat women avoid gyms
1. Old fat men don't seem to care about them and certainly not interested in helping them.
2. When you go to a crowded gym, unless you have a personal trainer, you are helpless as to know what to do.
3. I might be old and fat but I am also a strong woman who likes to be in control. I am nowhere near being in control of myself at the gym.
4. I thought I was on a team. There is no team organization, no team leader, and I haven't been contacted by anyone. When you are on a team, aren't there supposed to be other people?
5. I've pretty much decided if its to be its up to me. I am going to go to my personal trainer on Tuesdays, tell her what I think and then I am going to go to the YMCA on the other days.
First I have to get over being sick.
Saturday, January 26, 2013
I'm veering off from MIL talk today to publically announce that I am already frustrated that I'm not losing weight. This week I was sick and so, I ate soup for many lunches and I tried to keep my portions in control and make wise choices when we ate out. Yesterday, I added the Lose It App to my smartphone and I tracked all my food. I came up with about 1600 calories for the day. I had cereal for breakfast, a small portion of thai food for lunch, and a roast chicken salad at Ruby Tuesdays for dinner. I got up this morning and gained 2 pounds.
This is the frustrating part of weight loss for me. I seem to maintain and maintain. Whatever I eat, even if it is a healthy choice, puts weight on me. Eventually I give up and give in.
This morning is boot camp at Gold's gym and I am going to go even though I would rather stay home and sew. Last night I was up at 3:00 a.m. with a cough resembling an adult asthma attack. The doctor I saw on Thursday described it as bronchial asthma so now I'm wondering if I have developed this in my old age.
Hubby let me sleep until about 9 a.m. which was good because it took me a while to go back to sleep after my coughing attack. I have a good friend who had a heart cath this week to discover that she doesn't have a heart problem. They had scared her into thinking she had serious issues and now they have put her on a mediterranean diet. I said I would go on it with her and together, we would lose. I bet she drops pounds like crazy and mine will cling and cling. If you have been a friend of mine for many years here on Spark, you will have been through this with me before. I don't want my biggest loser challenge to go by the wayside so I am going to get on my exercise clothes and make the best of it and hope I don't cough my way through it.
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