Thursday, October 11, 2012
Okay, its been a week and a half and things are going well. My husband thinks he helps and he does, but he doesn't understand the responsibility I have with this situation. I am going to start keeping a log of the activities we share with his mother and I'm sure I will come out on top with responsibility.
Here's the thing. I treasure my solitude. I revel in the fact that he will go off to a football game for the day with his buddies and leave me to sewing and napping. But now, I'm left with his mother. I love her, don't get me wrong. But I don't want to entertain her all day.
I treasure my mornings where I sit with coffee, read the paper, watch fox news and work the crossword. This morning, he is out with his job and she has talked non stop since we got up. I've had to drop everything, get her water, get her coffee, make her toast, get her pills, find her makeup for her, find a brush so she can put on her blush, talk about the constipation she has all this week and how it finely broke forth and she was up all night with it. Last night I had to help her with her bath. And he reminds me to do it. Today she has a doctor's appmt at his request. So he decides that we are both going to go. No, I am not going to go. It is your turn and your responsibility.
Here is the weekend schedule, the weekend that I look forward to. It started last night when he went off to the Yacht Club for games night and came home 3 hours later. I don't mind him doing that but now with her homes, I don't get to enjoy myself. Today he leaves at 2:00 to go to a football game in Troy, Al with friends from the club. I am left to get dinner for her. Also, tonight is quilt guild night and I was looking forward to going as I am the speaker and I reallly enjoy guild. So yesterday, he invites her along with me. I have to get there at 5:30 because I have the key to the building which is at our church, and the meeting doesn't start until 6:30. So I have to take her with me and she sits there for an hour in uncomfortable chairs and no one talking with her and I'll have to entertain her. Then if she has to get to the bathroom, I'll have to worry about that. So my evening out is not for me anymore.
Then tomorrow, he is gone all day with his job. I have appointments so will be gone as well but I'll have to make sure I am home at noon to get her some lunch. Then tomorrow evening, we usually go to the club and get dinner but now we will have to figure out what to do about MIL and her dinner. Then Saturday, he is off to the FSU game with a friend and normally, I would love this. I would quilt and sew all day, run around town and do whatever I wanted to do, listening to the game in the background. But now, I'm going to be responsible for his mother as well, getting her lunch and dinner and entertaining her as well.
Then Sunday is church and I'll have to help her get dressed and of course get a bath Saturday night so she will be clean. And then he will start pushing me to wash her hair for her. Okay, he just came home so now the responsibility for her is his until 2:00 when he leaves to go have fun. So he just comes home and says, aren't you going with me to the doctor? Later.
Monday, October 08, 2012
We went to church yesterday and walked in as the preacher was making his opening remarks. MIL was really wobbly and not feeling well and she hobbled to our seats with the whole congregation watching. Afterward, everyone was coming up to ask us how she was doing. One friend sat with her and talked a long time, held her hand. That friend had cared for her husband for many years and he died a year or so ago. Its been one week ago today and not too bad. I don't know how she cared for herself for so long. It takes forever for her to get dressed in the morning, just to put on a bra. And she can't walk anywhere for long. After church, she sat down in her chair and slept until about 1:00. I guess she was plumb worn out.
I never wanted for this to happen, for us to take her in. But its not so bad. And I think of her in a nursing home, we would have to go there everyday which would be a worse thing.
We have 2 dachshunds we adopted from a shelter last year. Peanut, the female, barks at her as she walks by. It took a while for Peanut to settle in with us and make friends. Now Wally, the male, he loves everyone. And last night as we watched TV, Wally laid in her lap and she just stroked and stroked him. Dog heaven it was. And good therapy for MIL.
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