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MOVING MOTHER-IN-LAW, DAY 1

Sunday, September 23, 2012

I decided to blog about our effort to move my mother-in-law in to live with us. So I took a box over today to try to unload some of her drawers. She wanted to make sure I brought all of her cards and cribbage boards with her. She only has about 25 decks of cards. What does a 93 year old woman do with 25 decks of cards. And of course I can't throw anything away so we are bringing her to the house for dinner tonight so we can empty the box and find a place for everything.
Honestly, I know she thinks I am going to throw things out that she wants to keep and a lot of it ought to get thrown out or try to sell it. But we will go through the box, one thing at a time and find a place or she will decide she doesn't need 25 decks of cards and will get rid of most of them. At least I hope. We have to clean out our own stuff before we can fit hers in. So that's what I'll be doing for the next 3 weeks.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LOVESLIFE48 9/26/2012 7:23PM

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JIBBIE49 9/26/2012 7:17PM

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BABACHAN 9/24/2012 10:51AM

    We moved my mother three years ago from a four bedroom house in Little Rock to a two bedroom apartment in Carmel, In. It was quite a job because we had to go thru everything and consolidate. It was difficult for my mother because she wanted to keep everything. So we ended up taking what she needed to her apartment and sending "storage" stuff to three different homes. At least she is secure in the knowledge that her things haven't all disappeared. It was a job organizing and labeling all the boxes and determining where they were going to end up. The good thing is that she has been in her apartment for three years and is quite comfortable and happy.
Keep up the good work!

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SANDYW1945 9/24/2012 7:33AM

    Hi Carol, emoticon

Oh you have your work cut out for you. Will mom have her own room? Can you put some stuff in storage? Sounds impossible. Well good luck with all this.

Sandy emoticon

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KASEYCOFF 9/23/2012 5:44PM

    I guess if the attachement gives her a sense of security or 'belonging,' why, at least she collects something relatively small. I once knew a woman who collected - no lie, COLLECTED - the old claw-footed cast-iron bathtubs. She had a shed full, and so many in the garage they couldn't put the car in there. You might think with the whole 'restore an old house' trend that they'd have increased in value. Hah. Finally, when they moved, SHE paid people to haul them away. Stupid. Well, at any rate, I think in comparison decks of cards aren't too bad, lol...
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ANDI571 9/23/2012 11:12AM

    Remember to take care of yourself. Caregivers tend to forget that. emoticon

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DANCINCAJUN1 9/23/2012 11:02AM

    oh you are going to be having a lot of fun in the next few weeks .... sounds like you need to keep a daily journal and when you read it much later you will sure get a lot of laughs. Very kind of you to take on this responsibility ... Enjoy each day.... Roc
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Haven't blogged in a while

Friday, September 21, 2012

Haven't felt like blogging lately. So much going on, just want to take a nap and forget about it. Hubby and I have been nursing chest coughs for 2 weeks and finally broke down yesterday and went to the doctor. I got 3 scrips and he got 2. I already feel better after taking two antibiotics. I guess it wasn't going away on its own. Today I just want to veg out. I haven't even felt like quilting. Maybe today I will just take the rest of the week off and then reboot on Monday. The weather is absolutely fabulous here in Northwest Florida. Great football weather! Enjoy the weekend.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JENNY888 9/21/2012 7:26PM

    Rest and heal. I know you will feel better soon. You deserve a rest. Find something you love to do to do even if it isn't quilting.

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KASEYCOFF 9/21/2012 3:16PM

    Hope you're feeling better soon--!
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JAMARIGOLD 9/21/2012 2:41PM

    You do have a lot on your plate right now. I'm sorry to hear you and DH are under the weather. Resting mind and body sounds like a great idea. Take good care and enjoy your great weather!
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ANDI571 9/21/2012 12:08PM

    It's just important to take care of your body by resting and letting it heal, as it is to exercise and eat right. Glad you are going to veg. emoticon

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AFTER A GOOD CRY

Wednesday, September 05, 2012

After I had a good cry yesterday I felt better. I stopped for an ice cream cone for lunch and took a nap and it was okay. My husband does help a lot but you know us women, we tend to take on the household responsibilities ourselves, like raising kids. We have someone who comes to clean our home every other week so I don't have to worry about that. And yesterday, my husband called the home health company to find out what their services entailed and lined up someone to help with a bath for MIL.

You know, I don't cry, not much at all. As my friend said, "you're a strong woman" and so I pretty much deal with things. But yesterday as I was driving to a client appmt, in the driving rain and talking on the phone to my friend (not a good idea) the warm tears were just rolling down my cheeks. I had to pull over and pull myself together. It reminded me of what I went through during Desert Storm and the anniversary of Desert Storm, 10 years later. Warm tears rolling down my cheeks.

Quilting is my solace. Hubby complains that I'm always in the sewing room, sewing. And this is true. It is so restful for me to cut fabric or to sew pieces together. If you are a quilter, you know what I mean. I won't be giving that up. At any rate, I thank all of my spark friends. You mean so much to me and your kind words helped me through a difficult day. emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

Q8PRINCESS 9/6/2012 12:01PM

    Everyone needs help, just because you are a "strong women" doesn't mean YOU have to do everything. All of us need time to ourselves to "re-create" ourselves.

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COOPQUILTLADY 9/5/2012 10:16PM

    I'm glad you're feeling a bit better about the situation. Sometimes a good cry helps more than anything. emoticon

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AKELAZ 9/5/2012 9:55AM

    So sorry to hear all this - no wonder you're so upset. There's no denying it's going to be a difficult time but even with outside help you can't take it all on yourself. As someone said yesterday meals every night are a big chore - especially when you work as well. Somehow - and I don't want to be subversive here - you need to relax about the 'women's work' being all yours and persuade your husband that he really needs to help with cooking and clearing. I know - from my own experience - that it can be a big ask but it's a big change in your lives and he needs to be at your side so you can face it and deal with it together. Of course your MIL needs this help but I don't expect she would wish it to cause all this anguish and your husband shouldn't either.
Forgive me if this is too much straight talking - it's not intended that way - I just really feel for you. emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 9/5/2012 9:57:09 AM

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JAMARIGOLD 9/5/2012 9:38AM

    I'm glad you're feeling better today.
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KASEYCOFF 9/5/2012 8:59AM

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NERVOUS BREAKDOWN

Tuesday, September 04, 2012

So this morning I had a nervous breakdown, tears just started running out of my eyes and down my cheeks. I never cry like this but I guess the pressure was too much. My MIL moving in is going to be a challenge and my son is having trouble at work again and it was just too much for me. And my business is aggravating at imes as now. I just want to quit and runaway from home with my Viking Sapphire 875 and a pile of fabric.
I'm already under the care of a psychiatrist for major depression but I sure broke down this morning. I m usually strong and able to handle it. Guess I need a medication review. And a therapist to talk with.
I know that the bulk of caring for my MIL will fall to me. My husband does his goodly share but I will have to cook meals now, every one of them and make sure she gets her meal. And fix her pill boxes and help with a bath and getting dressed if necessary. I made my husband call the nursing company this morning to find out what help we can get from them.
It's just to much. That's why I sew, to get away from it all. emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FIFIFRIZZLE 9/5/2012 5:32AM

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It seems natural to have a little meltdown under the circumstances.

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JAMARIGOLD 9/4/2012 9:14PM

    With all that you're dealing with, no wonder you had a melt down moment. Bless your heart, it's a lot to handle. I have depression also and sometimes I know a good cry is exactly what I need at the moment. It's a great idea to get some help in! You'll need some "me" time. Hang in there. We're all here for you.

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SHAMILTON311 9/4/2012 8:12PM

    I am so sorry. What an incredibly difficult situation. As I have gotten older, I find I hate the whole meal preparation and cleanup thing, and I don't work! Perhaps you can have cereals and juice for breakfasts, cheeses and deli meats and breads for lunch, and your husband can be responsible for dinner, even if it's bagged salad and rotisserie chicken from the supermarket. Your sparkfriends will be here for you if you need us.

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SANDYW1945 9/4/2012 6:52PM

    Carol, If it's too much then you need to back off and get help. Your MIL must also feel quite stressed. (I can't imagine having to live with my son.)

May I ask why all the work is falling on you? Can your DH take his share?

Anyway...someone here said just Keep venting. That always helps. I agree with that...so keep blogging and venting to get it off your mind...

And of course keep quilting.

I loved your idea of the Grandmother's Choice web site. Just loved it. I promise to do a block a week. Thank you for the idea. I hope you can have the time to do this too.


Take care.

Sandy
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KASEYCOFF 9/4/2012 3:58PM

    Really sorry to hear about the burden falling to you, Carol, but maybe the depth of your reaction will enable you to begin with the next part of the process - learning to cope with it and regaining your balance. I think it's a lot to do if all you worry with is caring for your MiL - added to the stresses of self-employment, general family worries, and your ongoing depression makes it almost overwhelming. Handling it may not mean just being strong, but asking for help when you need it (a counselor or therapist might be very beneficial) and even finding out where to set the limits for the outside demands and pressures on your time and energy.

I think getting in touch with 'home-help' nursing is a wonderful idea - some of the older members of my family have had people like that who worked with them, and it can be such a help to not only the patient, but to the family care-givers as well.
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COOPQUILTLADY 9/4/2012 3:36PM

    I am sure your situation is stressful. Hopefully you can find a little "me" time each day to regroup. Keep your chin up. I am rooting for you. emoticon
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MAMACAT2_3 9/4/2012 3:19PM

    Oh I'm sorry, I deal with anxiety and depression on and off too....I hope you get through these trying times and life feels easier for you soon...hang in there...

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LWADE1963 9/4/2012 2:28PM

    emoticon
hang in there. you are in my prayers for strength. trust in God to get you where you need to go.

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DAARTNEY 9/4/2012 2:27PM

    This does sound like so much to deal with. I hope you can get some in-home assistance with her.

Keep venting, it helps to get it out I think.

I hope you have something good in your day to make you smile.

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ITS SEPTEMBER AND I'M MOVING

Sunday, September 02, 2012

I vow to get off my butt and walk everyday in September. I don't care if I walk ten min or 1 hour but I committ to walk everyday this month. My pants are getting tight and so moving will help and maybe even drop a few pounds. After all, isn't that why I"m here? To lose and get healthy! Can't sit all the time so get up and move! emoticon

  
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BABACHAN 9/3/2012 4:21PM

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I did the same thing and joined a 10 min a day exercise program. I am now walking about 45 mins a day, the weight is coming off and I even signed up for a virtual 5K in october.

I guess I just needed to get started somewhere!
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PS Patriots and Petticoats will be started in about another week, after the grandkids start back to school. emoticon

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CAROLISCIOUS 9/3/2012 11:05AM

    That's right...a little or a lot, every move counts!
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KASEYCOFF 9/3/2012 3:14AM

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Q8PRINCESS 9/2/2012 9:02PM

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BOOGITY12 9/2/2012 7:09PM

    I'll join you! emoticon

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LYNNIERN 9/2/2012 3:53PM

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GUCCI9300 9/2/2012 2:36PM

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SCRAPPINPOLLY 9/2/2012 2:29PM

    September is my favorite month of the year!! Get out, take a look around at all the fall beauty! You'll never want to stay inside again!

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LOSE4LIFE47 9/2/2012 2:25PM

    YOU CAN DO IT!!

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