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Monday, February 01, 2010


Today is my husband's birthday. We had our family over and I got to see my 8 year old Hannah and 2 month old Brandon! What a blessing to have them close. And hubby's 90 year old mother. Four generations! My sister and her husband stopped by as well. Of course we had cake and ice cream and still have some left so we will see how it goes. Ice cream is my weakness.
I'm glad January is over. It was cold and dreary and I'm hoping February will pick up a bit although today is kind of dreary as well. As we move closer to spring here in Florida, we can expect good days sprinkled in among the bad. In January I was really excited about Spark and spent much of my time focused on exploring the site. This month, I must get back to work and devote more time to things such as revamping my advertising, ordering new logos for my van and business cards, etc.
I've lost 3 pounds maybe and it seems such a little amount. But I am eating better, more balanced meals and I'm cooking at home at least 5 out of 7 nights a week which is a real milestone! And I've left desserts out of the picture except for special occasions. So I've met my goals for January. I guess I will have to spend some time and formulate some new ones to strive for, like cleaning out my office. That's an ah ha moment for me. Yes, I guess I need some new goals. But that's for another day to do. Yesterday I started writing the third chapter of my Desert Storm story. It got a little tough to do so I stopped. Will have to continue later.
Yesterday was the 19th year anniversary of the C-130 going down in Kuwait. That plane was from our local air force base and there was nothing in the paper about it, no mention at all. Guess it is history except to those who experienced it personally. Until tomorrow.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GIVWIG 2/2/2010 12:06PM

    I hope your husband had a wonderful birthday. Mine is comming up on the 14th.

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USARUNNERGIRL 2/2/2010 11:34AM

    Happy Birthday to your husband!

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SGKAYLOR 2/1/2010 6:35PM

    Today is my sister's birthday too!

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Sunday, January 31, 2010

Exactly 19 years ago today, a C-130 went down over the waters of Kuwait. I had just taken on the duties as a Mortuary officer in support of operation Desert Storm and a plane crash was everyone's worst nightmare. Little did I know that my own worst nightmare was about to happen. That C-130 was down over the water with 14 men on board and no chance for a search and rescue because it was down in enemy territory. Even worse for me, the plane was from Hurlburt AFB, Fl, a mere 5 miles from where I lived. My husband had been stationed at Hurlburt before leaving the Air Force and we still lived nearby. I thought," OH, my God, I might know someone on that plane. They might go to my church. I might know people in the squadron." As we 10 mortuary officers were being briefed about our duties. I just broke down into tears. I didn't want to do this . I didn't want to be there. One of the other Majors took me to the snack bar where I sat with tears streaming down my face. He said, "Carol you have to get control of yourself." And I just said I dont' want to. I didn't care how many people saw me or how much of a spectacle I was making. I just couldn't stop the tears from flowing. It was just too close to home for me. Another plane from another base would have been different but this one...... Eventually I pulled myself together and went back to the mortuary unit where I could hear others whispering, is she all right?

In this particular instance, as a mortuary officer, we are responsible for helping the families with their funeral arrangements. By the time we talk to the families, they have already been notified about the situation. In this case, the airmen were listed as missing in action as there was no search that could be conducted. We were each given 2 or 3 families to work with and I was given 2 single airmen whose families lived out of state and another airmen whose wife lived in my hometown. The awful part to me was that I was forever connected to these families and their situation for the rest of my life. I didn't want anyone to know that I lived there and that I owned a successful business. The only way I could handle it was to completely divorce myself from anything personal and just be a military officer. I had to squash my own feelings and just perform my duties as required. Years later that would come back to haunt me.
Until another day.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SGKAYLOR 1/31/2010 9:09PM

    Wow.... can't wait to read more

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Sunday, January 31, 2010


Yesterday was a truly awful diet day. I ate more than I should have and I didn't need to eat. Oh the other hand, I walked 3 miles so maybe that cancelled it out. Today is my hubby's birthday party so you know what that entails. My positive vibes are out the window.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ILOVETOCRUISE 1/31/2010 12:18PM

    That was a good long walk, so keep positive on that. emoticon

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STACEY75023 1/31/2010 11:16AM

    You are going to have those "aweful" diet days here and there. Don't beat yourself up over it, just remember how you feel the next time you find yourself going off the beaten path.

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Saturday, January 30, 2010


Today is going to be a good day! It's a good idea to start off with a positive affirmation! Better than Yesterday when I was disillusioned with my progress. Even though my scale didn't show any progress on Thursday, my stomach feels flatter. That big roll of fat that I can grab seems not as much. So, even though the scale doesn't reflect progress, I know my body must be doing something to itself.

Yesterday I went clothes shopping at a local boutique that is going out of business. I did not shop there very often but the owner was very nice and I wanted to say goodbye to her. I own a business and I know how bad things can be in this economy. I bought a couple of items and my size didn't change. THings just fit better. I bought a jacket I had tried on last year and didn't buy because it was $129. It was still there from last year and now marked down to $30 so out the door it went with me. It was an extra large but I have broad shoulders that are never less than a large, no matter how skinny I get. I also bought an XL slinky black knit dress, the kind that clings to you. It wasn't as clingy as it would have been before and another lady commented on how good it looked. So I figured it will really look good when I have the right undergarments and a few more pounds off. It is stretchy so it will fit me as I go down. And a shirt and some jewelry. Did my part in helping her deplete her inventory.

I had breakfast and didn't get lunch until after 2:00 because of a traffic delay so I had a cup of corn chowder I had made. Then we went out to Logan's Roadhouse for dinner. I had one yeast roll, salad with oil and vinegar, and southwestern tilapia with broccoli for dinner. And when I got home, I had a vanilla yogurt. I've been trying to up my fiber intake and I did fine yesterday with the addition of benefiber to my coffee and soup.

This morning I got up to fill in my nutrition tracker and I was under 1300 calories for the day! Did well even with the yeast roll. I've been known to eat 2 or 3 yeast rolls at Logans and I had water to drink. I am about to go out on a scheduled 3 mile walk with my friend Pat. I hope to see the scale go down soon. Until tomorrow.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ILOVETOCRUISE 1/31/2010 12:24PM

    Sounds like a good day. I found tracking also helps me. emoticon

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    Oooooooo, fashion bargains! That sounds like fun!

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BAJANSEN1 1/30/2010 10:14AM

    Hope you enjoyed your walk! I liked your post because it is encouraging to hear that you are so positive and seeing changes even though the scale won't move. Mine is stuck, too...someone must have snuck in and re-wired it?? But doing my "streak" of working out each day feels so darn good that I am not as discouraged. I feel like my body is making changes, too, and more will come.

Well, time to get to my stationary bike and yoga stretches.

Have a great day today and the day after that and so on....

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Friday, January 29, 2010


I'm disillusioned. I'm at the point with all diets I have ever been on that I am totally frustrated. I lost 2 pounds, then another I thought, now I am back up again. SIGH! It would be time to give up had I not made a committment to myself to do this and finish the race. I know I'm probably eating too much. This week, my calorie intake was up a little higher than my goal a couple of days and right at the goal the rest of the time. I would put my nutrition tracker public if I could figure out how to do so.

I have not started regular exercise yet and I know that this would help so please don't tell me to do this. In 34 days, shouldn't I have lost weight anyway? I have taken the dog for a walk most days and I've done a few things and I walked 3 miles last Saturday so I'm not totally a slug. In addition, I struggled with my depression this month and at times like these, all my energy goes to keeping me on a level keel. I do plan to walk tomorrow, at least 3 miles again. I will have 300 plus minutes in for the month.

I have reviewed my goals and I am meeting them except weight loss. If I'm to lose 30 pounds by the end of July, something needs to happen. As I said before, weight sticks to me like glue and it is darn hard to lose and I'm about to ditch the effort.

On the other end, I have kept my goal of leaving desserts and sweets for special occassions. Thank God for that. My husband's birthday is Monday and I know we will have cake and ice cream on Sunday and probably go out for dinner. I already feel like I ate too much and it hasn't even gotten here yet. Hope I get some feed back and encouragement.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    P.S. Carol, if you look at certain days on my food log, there is nothing listed for breakfast. That is because I'm on a strange sleep cycle (oftentimes 3am-11am), so my first meal is lunch. Also, there are a lot of snack entries. That's usually my third time eating for the day . . . lunch (anywhere from 11am-2pm), dinner usually around 7pm, then the snack entries for around 11pm-2am. One of my sons works the night shift 3-4 nights per week, so I like to be up and about when he is home. He stays on his day sleeping schedule, so it suits me fine to sleep closer to a schedule that allows me to be around all of my family when they are home.

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    Hi Carol! Please hang in there and remember if you weigh yourself more than once a week, you are really likely to see fluctuations. They are normal. I'm finding that when I don't drink water, I retain enough fluid to create an unpleasant fluctuation. I lost weight the first 10 days, and I haven't lost any since. I have 810 fitness minutes for the month from leaf-raking and snow-sweeping, but I haven't exercised at all for two weeks due to my chest cold, so here I sit without any weight lost, and I'm eating within my calorie range just about every day. I'm thinking cardio exercise five times a week and water drinking are probably essential, and you already have plans to up your exercise, so you are on the right path.

You can make your nutrition tracker public by clicking on "edit my spark page" then in the top right of the big white area under "More Options," check the box for "share my nutrition tracker" then go down to the upper right of your spark page and click "save changes."

You inspired me to begin tracking fiber, and I've learned that I don't eat nearly enough of it, but when I eat more fruits and vegetables, including beans, and my whole wheat bread, I get closer. Somehow yesterday, I made into the range for the first time! You can look at my nutrition tracker and see that I still eat ice cream!

Applebee's has some delicious meals under 550 calories, and Chipotle has a nutrition calculator. I got the Carnitas Bowl (no sour cream, no guacamole) and it was 565 calories, I think. You can still eat out, you can still have ice cream and cake, too! And you can still be in the range if you plan ahead. I had cake only (not ice cream) at our granddaughter's birthday party. Just a short square of it, but it was just right. You can do this, Carol. Enjoy your hubby's birthday to your heart's content. It will not be the end of this for you even if you go over your calories.

I'm hoping you have better weather so you can walk briskly on a regular basis. I absolutely hate exercise. What are we going to do with ourselves? I know if I would get moving regularly, my pounds would come off, too. For now, I'm happy you and I are eating better and tracking our food. Those are two big changes, and we can add to them gradually. I wanted my weight off by May. Ugh! I know the progress is going to build. January is the toughest month of the year for depression. I have had a pretty constant case of apathy about life this month, but I think the sunnier days ahead are going to change all of that.

God bless you, Carol. I need you here as a Spark Friend, if that helps. I sincerely mean it that you are an encouragement to me.

Comment edited on: 1/29/2010 2:38:03 PM

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