Sunday, February 14, 2010
In my last blog I outlined my meal plan for Friday. CHANGEDIN09 asked why I chose a whey shake for dinner rather than a more typical meal.
The short answer is that I find it convenient to have a shaker bottle made up with everything I need in it so I can just add water, mix it up and drink it on the drive home (the sooner you get your protein after a workout, the more effectively it supposedly goes into rebuilding your muscles).
The long answer is that I do not trust myself to eat sensibly at home alone at night. Generally if I've had all my calories by the time I get home after my evening workout, I can consider the food in the kitchen off-limits and I'm "safe."
If I try to eat "dinner" it sometimes stretches into something else. Namely an uncontrolled binge. Sometimes this happens even if I have eaten all of my calories, as I did on Friday. This usually depends on whether there are eating triggers setting off the behavior.
In fact, it DID happen on Friday evening, with catastrophic results for Saturday. Inspiried by MOM5INFL's blog transparency, I am going to outline what happened. And the consequences.
ANATOMY OF A BINGE
When I got home on Friday I did my usual routine of shower etc. and found that I was home earlier than usual (around 6 pm). I began to plan my meal for Saturday, allowing for an estimated 3 hours of cross-country skiing with CARRIE1948. I was really excited about this, as I hadn't skiied in at least 15 years.
I don't think I've *ever* skiied in the kind of physical shape I'm currently in. My brother taught me in high school and we would go on trips in the Sierras. I even owned a pair of skis in my 20s. A friend at work recently upgraded to a longer pair so I bought his, and outfitted myself with poles, bindings, and boots. I was anxious to try my new gear and to find out if I still knew how to use it, LOL.
So anyway, back to Friday evening. I began planning my meals for Saturday. My iPod tracker automatically updates the daily caloric requirements depending on the exercise you put in. Three hours of cross-country skiing apparently burns a LOT of calories. So my Saturday calorie allocation was going to be freakishly high. I planned out all the apples, tangerines, whey shakes, protein bars, etc. for the day and was actually finding it difficult to figure out what *else* to add in.
This made me almost giddy, as it is opposite from my usual meal-planning experience of shaving calories here and there to stay within the limits. I think this mind-set contributed to what happened later.
It was still early in the evening so I made a pot of herb tea and settled in to watch an episode of Parks and Recreation on Hulu. It finished and I began watching the latest episode on there of The Office. Partway through I started getting urges to eat. Remembering that TV is an eating trigger for me, I turned off the computer and started reading.
After a point I remembered that I had some DVDs waiting to watch, and I reasoned that as long as I had the herb tea with me I would be OK. This was a mistake. Partway through It Happened One Night, I got urges to eat again. And the rationalizations started. "I'm going to need a lot of energy tomorrow. I've stocked up on apples. Surely it won't hurt to have an apple while watching this movie."
And I went and got an apple. And then a tangerine. And then I decided I needed some protein to go with it, so with the next THREE apples I had EIGHT Weight Watcher's cheddar pieces, an ENTIRE WHEEL of Laughing Cow Extra Light cheese (from the UK), some Laughing cow Light cheese (from the US), SIX protein bars, an entire unopened bag of beef jerkey that had been sitting in my kitchen since April, and most of a bag of dried blueberries.
I didn't put it in the tracker at the time. I wrote the weights of the fruits on a piece of paper and saved the wrappers from the packaged foods. That's part of this behavior. I know I don't want to be doing what I'm doing, and so I don't want to actually know what I'm doing in terms of numbers while I'm doing it. In fact, I only just now calculated the totals.
Final damage from the binge? 3411 calories. 503 g carbs, 83 g of fat, 241 g of protein, and 7330 g of sodium.
That does not include the rest of the food for the day.
And of course I felt bad about it, not just physically, but emotionally. Because I had just mentioned on my thread with STEVIECAT4 that I was going to try really hard to avoid binging this weekend.
And scared that I'd have a reflux episode overnight, because that's what sometimes happens when I overfill.
Fast forward to Saturday morning. No reflux episode, but I had what felt like a rock in my stomach and skipped breakfast. CARRIE1948 and I found the cross country ski place, got gear for her, paid for the lesson and trail passes, and started having a group lesson with two other people.
I rapidly discovered that my skiing chops were all there, and with my new athetic body I was stronger and more agile than I have ever been with a pair of boards stuck to my toes. I happily scooted around and around the oval-shaped practice area, sometimes doing diagonal stride, and sometimes refreshing my skating stride (remember, I hadn't skiied for 15 years. There *wasn't* "skate skiing" back then. Skating was just something you did to get around. In long skis. Like the 190cm ones I had on. LOL)
I was amazed to see how many calories my HR monitor said I was burning. I felt great. I took off my jacket I was so warm. I got some tips from the instructor to improve my skills. I started feeling a pang now and then in my stomach and assumed it was hunger and decided to wait and address it when we were going to break after an hour.
After an hour of this I was definitely a little fatigued, but I felt good and was ready for lunch. Put water into a shaker bottle and began to drink a whey shake. And suddenly my stomach just cramped up and rebelled. It felt worse and worse. CARRIE1948 asked if I felt OK, and I said "no" and shuffled off to the bathroom. Where (I hope this isn't too graphic) about half of Friday's binge exited rapidly the standard direction.
I shuffled back, still faint. Not only did I feel physically bad (it was sort-of like reflux but sort-of like something else, and it REALLY HURT), but I felt really sorry because this was going to ruin not only MY day, but Carrie's, and we'd both paid for an entire day's pass, and she'd paid for a day's ski rental. So I broke it to her that I felt like I needed to go, and did she mind driving my car (which is a stick), and this is the kind of situation in which you find out who your real friends are, because she was great about it.
We got back to her place, I rested a bit, used the facility, and at that point the OTHER HALF of Friday's binge exited, and it came back out the way it had gone in, which is always unpleasant. (Sorry about the graphic image) I felt terrible. The pain came and went in waves. I just wanted to be home, where I could curl up in my bed, and take periodic hot showers to distract myself from the pain. I felt cold. I was shivering. I felt faint. But I really wanted to be home.
So I eventually told her I needed to go. And the next 40 minutes felt like two hours. I'm not sure how I got home. I'm pretty sure I shouldn't have been operating a motor vehicle. The car in front of me was annoyingly slow, and I followed them almost all the way.
But I made it and basically collapsed. I alternately huddled in bed and took hot showers and baths and moaned in pain. At some point I suddenly felt really really thirsty and something clicked. I hadn't drunk any water during that hour of skiing. Jerky contains an insane amount of sodium. I was probably dehydrated.
So I made up a mug of Nuun, added some sugar, and drank it. It hurt my stomach, but I started feeling a bit better mentally. For the next several hours I slowly nursed water and electrolytes back into my system. The pain moved into a different part of my stomach. I kept waking up with pangs and growling.
At this point I realized I must also be hungry, but I was afraid to eat anything because of the additional reflux pain. Eventually around 5am I pared and sliced up an apple and microwaved it and ate it. It didn't come back up, but the pain was still there. I had 50 g of frozen pureed peaches, also microwaved. That also stayed down.
And so my system slowly recovered. I was able to eat half of a small pot of homemade chicken and barley soup today. As I write this the pain is mostly gone, although I'm still exhausted.
And I hope - HOPE - that this time the painful physical and emotional consequences of Friday's binge will make enough of an impression to stop me in my tracks the next time I get those urges. (The last reflux episode was in May.)
The urges to eat might always be there. But for now I know I am simply not ready to handle the challenge of evening TV viewing or eating. Because once I start I do not seem to be able to stop eating. And my new athletic body, finely tuned to a controlled high-protein low-fat diet, has indicated very clearly that it will not stand for such abuse any more.
UPDATE: Here is a later blog post I wrote about minimizing binge triggers:
Friday, February 12, 2010
Since I don't use the tracker here on SP anymore because I switched to Lean Me on my iPod, ( www.leanme.net ) I thought it might be fun to share what I eat in a typical day now. I definitely eat more than I used to a month ago, and much less of the empty things like sugarless gum and sugarless candy.
Here we go with today's menu:
168 g FAGE 0% Greek yogurt
21 g Kashi Go Lean cereal
21 g Nutlettes cereal
100g frozen blackberries (part of last summer's bumper crop at the CSA farm)
280 g of fresh apple - a Crispin I picked out at the Red Jacket outlet in town
- 28 g body fortress whey powder
- 9 g wheat bran
- 6 g ground psyllium husk
- 187 g nonfat skim milk
- a few drops of anise flavoring
170 g frozen chicken breast thawed in microwave and grilled in toaster oven with herbs and garlic
Microwaved Vegetables with Feta
- 247 g Schwans frozen California vegetable blend
- 250 g fresh baby carrots
- 87 g fat free feta cheese crumbled with herbs and sprinkled over the veggies
500 mg vitamin C
glucosamine & chondroitin caplet
Midafternoon (around 3pm)
80 g of fresh orange - a honey tangerine from Wegmans
- 28 g optimum nutrition chocolate whey powder
- 9 g wheat bran
- 6 g ground psyllium husk
- 185 g nonfat skim milk
- a few drops of creme de menthe flavoring
(after workout, around 6pm)
- 28 g syntrax nectar whey powder
- 9 g wheat bran
- 6 g ground psyllium husk
- approx 1 c water
Throughout the day, cinnamon citrus herbal tea - some is Good Earth brand, and some is homemade - here's the recipe:
(today I skipped the lime tea and threw in all of the orange and tangerine peels I sliced and dried throughout the week)
1514 calories total
(not including the trace calories from the herb tea)
173 g carbs (98 g sugar, 59 g fiber)
192 g protein
13 g fat
240 mg cholesterol
1471 g sodium
The workout today will be about 15-20 min of warmup on some machine - arc trainer, erg, etc. followed by having my butt kicked in strength training by my trainer at the Y, Tiffany. Who at 4'9" weighs about 98 lbs (OK, actually 120 but it LOOKS like 98) and can outlift me, which drives me nuts. LOL
Thursday, January 28, 2010
While Spark People is a fantastic site for LOSING weight, it has some way to go before it's equally good at supporting MAINTAINING weight.
Here's an example:
Here's a graph of my weight for the past week:
The points on the tips of the green and red shaded areas are my daily weight entries. The red area means that for that day, or period of days, my daily weight entries were above the blue trend line. The green area means that for that day, or period of days, my daily weight entries were below the blue trend line.
My blue trend line weight has changed almost not at all, while I've fluctuated around it with some red and some green areas. This is what maintenance looks like.
Those "losses" in the green areas are the ones people are seeing on my friend feed. You don't see the gains on a feed, so although I'm gaining and losing the same 1-2 pounds over time (which is the definition of maintenance), it looks to my friends as if I'm still losing.
In fact, DDOORN actually commented on my feed this morning and asked why I was still losing weight when I'd said I was pretty much in maintenance mode.
What maintainers need is a feed that says "X MAINTAINED his/her weight for a week!" Or something like that.
And as I've suggested before, we could really use a weight average graph line like this over here at SP. It's not so necessary for loss mode, but very very valuable for maintenance mode, because the two cornerstones of maintenance are:
1) Frequent monitoring
2) Immediate correction
Without an averaging trend line, the monitoring is pretty much useless in the face of daily fluctuations.
Weighing once a week still does not average out whatever fluctuation you might be experiencing on the particular day that you decide to weigh yourself, so it will look pretty much the same as this, once you're maintaining.
By the time you discover you're outside the normal fluctuations, you've got a substantial 5 lbs or so to re-lose.
This is why I log my numbers using a weighted moving average.
Which is based on the Hacker's Diet. Here is a detailed explanation of how the weight graphing works. Follow this link and scroll down until you get to the part that says "Dexter's Diet."
I also use True Weight on my iPod, which is similar.
To learn more about the Hacker's Diet, you can visit the team page:
The basic principle is to watch your weight TREND LINE rather than the raw data and adjust your exercise and calorie intake to control it.
The good news is that with sites like physicsdiet.com you don't need to understand the calculations; all you have to do is put in your daily numbers and the website will do the magic for you, and leave you free to just watch your blue trend line.
I think, in order to prevent confusing my friends anymore, until something more appropriate for maintenance is implemented here, I'm going to start reporting the TREND LINE weight here instead of the actual raw numbers.
The past few weeks have been kind of scary, after getting the news that I'm at 19% body fat. I eased up on my calorie restriction. The trend went up. I clamped back down on it a bit. The trend went down.
In fact, I'm kind of stunned about the SHAPE of my weight curve:
From the looks of it, I'd say that I'm actually doing pretty well at maintaining, so far! :-o
I'm going to gradually ease that average line down to 150 and see how that feels.
I'm actually kind of amazed by how CONSISTENT the curve is. It's a fairly straight line down to 157 and then just STOPS there. Like someone drew it on there, not like someone actually LIVED that line...
But she did. And she freaked out and panicked a few times, and binged BY A LOT a few times, and generally sweated it.
It sure didn't FEEL like I had any control, really, at all... That I was doing this out there without a net.
But I'll tell you what. I lost weight by living by numbers, and it sure seems like I can maintain it by living by numbers. So I suppose my iPod calorie tracker (Lean Me Pro) and bathroom scale ARE my net, at the moment...
And the proper software for interpreting the results.
See SEEBEES3's blog for a more statistically robust monitoring system:
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Travel while managing weight is tough for me. My fitness and food routines are disrupted, colleagues always want to meet over food, and conference food options are usually very unhealthy, at best.
Fitness is particularly a problem while traveling because with my arthritic knee I can't walk or run for exercise (the knee starts complaining after only a couple of miles of walking and then stiffens up and acts grouchy the next day). So getting a calorie burn away from home is more complicated than just throwing running clothes and shoes in my suitcase.
I have had several trips this past autumn and always managed to gain at least 6 lbs, even when I wrote everything I ate down and put it in the tracker when I got back, even when I exercised every day that I could.
So, after losing about 10 lbs over the holidays, I was TERRIFIED that I'd gain it all back during a business trip in January. 10 days plus a 3-day weekend is a long time to be without the comfortable routines that keep me on track.
I pulled out all the stops and used as much creativity and planning as I could muster for this trip, and it paid off. I actually managed to LOSE some weight while away.
Here's a list of all the things I did; before and during the trip.
1) Bought an 8G iPod Touch, bought the standalone (offline) "Lean Me Pro" app and started tracking my nutrients on it and working out the kinks beforehand.
I've heard good things about free "Lose It!" but I like weighing my food in grams, so I opted for $20 "Lean Me Pro." This meant abandoning the SP nutrition tracker, because even the iPod version does not work offline. I might have used the spark mobile interface instead if my TracFone allowed me access to the internet (it only allows access to TracFone sites). The iPod cost less than $200 and given how much ELSE I've spent on this project, it seemed worth the money.
I also bought "True Weight" (it has a free version too, but I wanted the ability to archive my data).
Lean Me Pro
2) Used Google Map to search for gyms near my hotel(s). The day before leaving I signed up for a free trial membership at some of them. (You have to do this close to the travel date because otherwise they expire before you actually get there.) I downloaded the fitness class schedules for each of them.
This was especially important because the hotel where I'd be staying most of the time has a really pitiful "fitness center" as part of their "spa" that you have to pay extra to use.
It was also important because internet access is sketchy in the rooms, and I didn't want to have to pack or buy weights and a stability ball to work out in the room.
3) Packed all the necessary fitness gear: gym shoes, SPD spinning shoes, iPod arm harness & headphones, underwater SwiMP3 player, swimsuit, goggles, bike shorts, workout clothes, sport bras, water bottle, etc.
4) Packed sufficient protein bars & water-based whey shakes (Syntrax nectar), bran, and psyllium to feed myself when there weren't healthier meals available.
5) Packed a selection of herbal teas, TrueLemon, TrueLime, TrueOrange, and pepper packets for seasoning water and meals. I like to have a cup of herbal tea at the end of a meal when others are indulging in desserts. Most restaurants are happy to supply a cup of hot water and charge you for "tea" even if you bring your own.
6) Packed some envelopes of light tuna in water for emergency protein.
7) Removed the batteries and carefully packed my Tanita body fat bathroom scale in the middle of the clothes in my suitcase.
8) I should probably mention that I always carry a small food scale in my purse. I used it a lot on this trip, both at restaurants and for weighing out whey shake ingredients, etc.
1) Made my rounds of the local gyms and got the tour and passes, class schedules, etc.
2) Hit the local Target/Walmart and grocery stores for more tuna packets (these became essential for eating at restaurants), protein bars, and canned protein drinks. After looking at the labels I discovered that Pure Protein brand has some pretty low-calorie, high-protein products. It's probably the best thing I've seen out there on retail shelves. (I usually buy my supplements online.)
Also bought spritzer-type salad dressings, Kashi GOLEAN (I would have been better off bringing my soy-based cereals, oh well), and individual nonfat Greek yogurts (FAGE 0% is a good standby. Discovered Voskos out there, which has even MORE protein.)
Bought swimmer's shampoo & conditioner and a swim cap (that I somehow forgot to pack) - I couldn't find Ultra Swim so I went with the Loreal kids "swim & sport" shampoo and conditioner, and they seemed to de-chlorinate just fine.
3) PLANNED out my exercise for the next few days, fitting in swimming, spinning classes, etc. around my conference responsibilities. In most cases this meant switching from my customary nighttime exercise schedule to an early-morning one.
4) Once I knew my exercise schedule, I could plan out my food. (Lean Me Pro takes into account exercise when calculating the daily calorie quota.)
5) At most restaurants I shamelessly played the "I've lost 180 lbs" card and got them to bring me custom salad ingredients. In some cases they had suitable protein like steamed shrimp or sashimi. In other cases I added my own tuna. In all cases I used my own dressing.
My companions and servers were all supportive and helpful about it. Not one complained or sneered or acted put out with all my weighing and tracking, as I'd been afraid they might. I didn't even have to flash my "before" picture for all of them (I put it on my iPod just in case).
6) At night in the customary after-dinner room parties I brought my herb teas and indulged in them while everyone else drank alcohol. I used the in-room coffee maker for hot water (just ran a few pots through at the beginning to rinse most of the coffee and caffeine flavor out). I was perfectly content as long as I had something tasty in my hand to sip.
Since they are an indulgence, my rule with these teas is that I can have as many as I want, and I never have to re-use a bag unless I want to. I even have a special "tea squeezer" to get all the flavor out. And yes, I brought it. LOL
7) During travel and during the conference if I wanted something to snack on during a boring talk and didn't have water handy (to which I added the TrueCitrus packets), I'd have a stick of sugarless gum (and track it).
8) I washed my workout gear lightly with shampoo while showering in the room after each fitness episode and hung it up on the shower rod or rolled it in a dry bath towel to wring most of the water out.
9) I tracked my weight and percent body fat on my scale every morning and logged it in "True Weight" and "Lean Me Pro" on my iPod.
SO, HOW DID I DO?
Here are the numbers:
January 8, 2010
(159.61 average according to physicsdiet.com)
27.2% body fat
(29.64% average according to physicsdiet.com)
January 20, 2010
(157.66 average according to physicsdiet.com)
22.6% body fat
(25.01% average according to physicsdiet.com)
Monday, January 18, 2010
Met up with Deb (S318830) and her kids at the Wild Animal Park this morning, saw a giraffe tussling with a big antelope from the tram, watched gibbons, watched human children, and finally took a photo at the "park" her kids like.
Pictured (from left to right):
4A-HEALTHY-BMI, HAVASUROSE, their sister, S318830, and her two kids.
Afterward my two sisters and I did some more consignment store shopping, investigated a Carhart retailer (for our sister who needs work pants with lots of pockets), and a Chico's where some of us got shells on sale. Then we had dinner with HAVASUROSE's friend Dotty (and her daughter and granddaughter) at Soup Plantation, shipped a 20x20x20 box of clothes to NY via FedEx, and did cardio in the hotel fitness room for an hour.
Now we're wrapping up the evening in the hotel room with some wine (yes, mine is measured out, LOL) and logging stuff on our computers and checking email, etc.
They will drive home tomorrow and I will move to a hotel downtown tomorrow night and fly home on Tuesday. Back to the Land of Cold.
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