4A-HEALTHY-BMI   42,043
SparkPoints
40,000-49,999 SparkPoints
 
 
4A-HEALTHY-BMI's Recent Blog Entries

Still Struggling

Thursday, August 12, 2010

GEE-KNEE asked how I'm doing and commented that it seems like all the "big weight losers" have had a rough time lately. I wrote an answer in mail, and then thought it might be worth posting my reply as a blog entry. So here it is.

-------------------

I'm not sure if there's a specific reason why so many of us are struggling.

For me it's a variety of factors, mostly revolving around weight loss no longer being my primary focus in life.

This is a problem I have with the model proposed in the spark book and on this site. They sell the idea that you solve your weight problem and then go on to challenge yourself to improve in other areas.

In my experience it is not that simple. The weight problem isn't solved just by getting the weight off, even if you do it slowly, even if you do it in a "healthy" or "natural" way or "lifestyle change" way. For me it appears to be a natural condition to gain weight unless I'm vigilant. Period. I've been less vigilant in the past six months, so I've been gaining weight.

I've been snacking at night and not logging it. I've been going away camping and kayaking for weekends and not logging, and eating things I normally wouldn't in quantities I normally wouldn't.

I haven't been locked into a predictable exercise schedule. I haven't been burning as many calories.

I haven't been logging my water. I haven't been taking my vitamins. I haven't even been taking my antidepressant regularly.

Is it any wonder I'm having trouble sleeping and am slowly gaining weight? I've let the house of cards fall.

I still fit into my jeans (barely - haven't tried the leather pants lately and probably won't until I get 10 lbs off) but I can tell the difference and I don't like it.

It takes a lot of energy to live life AND stay vigilant and manage my food and exercise. And frankly, sometimes it just starts to feel like a burden, and I get tired and I want to give up and just go back to eating whatever I want whenever I want and not exercising. Temporarily it's an easy trap to fall into, but it has unpleasant long-term consequences.

I'm not giving up the war, but I admit I've surrendered more battles lately than I'm comfortable with. I've begun making excuses: I'm injured, I'm too busy, it's too much effort, just this once I'll slide, etc. etc. etc.

This is why I would just love to see some kind of maintenance resources on here of the same quality as the loss resources. Maintenance is a big, ugly, hairy problem and most people really struggle with it. But the industry ignores it for a variety of reasons and so there just isn't any support out there of the quantity or quality there is for losing weight in the first place.

Until such resources are available I think all we can do is hold onto each other and push ourselves and each other to take each day as it comes, do the best we can, do damage control where necessary, and keep fighting.

Starting with:

1) Managing the depression
2) Purging the house of temptations
2) Taking the vitamins
4) Logging the water
5) Logging ALL the food
6) Getting back into a daily exercise regime

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PSSN4FITNESS 8/25/2010 10:54AM

    Wow, I am so glad that you shared this. Your post and the responses have echoed everything that I have been dealing with lately (and I am not at my goal weight). As someone else said, the reward of moving the scale lower or even running another mile just doesn't give me the same satisfaction or motivation anymore. The rest of my life needs attention right now and it is so hard for me to muster the energy to track my food and sometimes even to exercise, though exercise is the easy part for me. Literally, the only thing that gets me to press play on my workout videos right now is simply the fact that I know that I am not done, that this vigilance will be a part of my life forever just like brushing my teeth and showering.

I especially love when you said that you have not given up the war but have conceded several battles. PREACH!! Story of my life, including last night dinner. But, at any time you can take back the lead with a one-two punch and swift kick! Turn the balance of winning versus losing battles in your favor one day at a time and one meal at a time.

As someone else said, keeping your head in the game is the key and telling yourself that you are getting your second, third, one-milllionth wind that will carry you through and give you that energy. Just keep sparking and keep your head up! We are all in this together =)

Report Inappropriate Comment
MOM5INFL 8/18/2010 4:52PM

    Sorry I've taken so long to respond...life is pretty stressful right now. But, I totally understand what you are going though. I think I have blogged in the past about my crazy behavior early in the maintenance process. I'm just coming out of a 2 week cycle of what amounts to the alternate day diet. I was going way over one day and staying on plan the next and cycling back and forth. I was starting to do things like eating multiple bowls of cereal because I didn't have anything else interesting to eat. I'm a little better now, but I'm still worried that the behavior will continue.

So, is maintenance easier for me? In a way yes. I'm back down to 158 pounds after I saw a high of 170...this was after a few days of total nonsense. I can carry an incredible amount of food and water! My point is that I think that my weight recovers faster now than it did before. I don't know why. Maybe due ot more muscle??? I don't know. But, I know if I don't get back on track I will start to gain some serious fat.

Keep sticking to the basics. You know how to do it. Keep triggers out of the house and minimize stress. Keep your hands busy.

I have been sipping hot tea and chewing sugar free gum like crazy lately. It's helping. It has been difficult to log on here due to my increased work responsibilities. But, I still keep my maintenance goal at the top of my mind that all times.

This is for life. It never ends. Maintaining this weight loss is worth it. We will never ever give up. I know you know this, but I still remind myself every day. Keep fighting! Birdie.

Comment edited on: 8/18/2010 4:53:44 PM

Report Inappropriate Comment
LKG9999 8/17/2010 9:30AM

    Thank you for posting this blog. Like others here I've been struggling lately, feeling overwhelmed by the stress of looking for a new job. Fortunately for me, I've found that I look to exercise to help manage the anxiety, so I have been keeping up a steady routine. However the eating is another story; like you I haven't been logging and indulging in way too many nighttime snacks and "treats". The result is that I've put on about 5 pounds over the summer. I'm now taking corrective action to remove those pounds and get my eating back on target.

Your blog is great in pointing out the energy that it takes to keep on track, and I can so relate to feeling at times like it's a burden. I'm concerned that when I return to work in two weeks it will really feel burdensome, which is adding to my general anxiety about returning to work after a two year hiatus, which in turn makes those snacks and treats more tempting... But I'm also at a point where I realize that eating will not make the anxiety go away, and putting the more weight back on will only make me feel more anxious and insecure.

Comment edited on: 8/17/2010 9:31:41 AM

Report Inappropriate Comment
HAVASUROSE 8/16/2010 6:20PM

  Tell me about it! I have gained back 6lbs since my week long camping/horseback adventure in July. I'm using the excuse of the heat not to work it off again. So yesterday after 4 weeks of seening the bad numbers, I'm back at it again. I couldn't even remember how I lost the weight to begin with. Duh, write EVERYTHING down. It's back to yougert for lunch and cancell the cashews for me.

Report Inappropriate Comment
JAY75REY 8/13/2010 5:56PM

    Depression and weight gain. My two main nemeses!
SYSADMIN has great comments and I echo them. I sometimes also get weary of the vigilance (and I haven't even reached my goal weight). I think I have to reframe it from vigilance (sounds like one is under seige) to something more positive. For me, I have a health issue driving me to stay on track, but I don't try to be perfect. I just take it one day at a time.
I hope you take care and don't give up totally.
emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
CHEMMD 8/13/2010 5:40PM

  I wonder if much of where you are coming from is the depression talking. It sounds like you have given up. Have you really? I have a feeling you have not.

If you have not given up, THEN you have to plan for real life. Real life IS unpredictable. We each have to plan for it, so that we can feel we are back in control. Are you willing to do that?

Report Inappropriate Comment
BREWMASTERBILL 8/13/2010 9:34AM

    Great! This is good news.

Report Inappropriate Comment
4A-HEALTHY-BMI 8/13/2010 9:19AM

    Yeah, you hit on it, SYSADMIN. Structure. I do best when I have a structure to rely on.

This summer has been very UNstructured, with predictable results. :-|

So, the solution is back to a structure, as much as possible. Starting with this morning, when I'm eating my "usual" breakfast of nutlettes, Greek yogurt, and a sliced apple. Followed by a chaser of vitamins. (Which has lately not been usual, and it needs to be.)

Comment edited on: 8/13/2010 9:20:43 AM

Report Inappropriate Comment
SYSADMN 8/13/2010 9:14AM

    I've never had the discipline to maintain a weight loss. In part, it's because the things I did to lose weight aren't the things you do to keep it off. You can only eat so many Jenny meals, or hear "You're doing great" from a petite 'counselor' before you think you're done.

I'm more optimistic this time - I have changed longtime bad habits for healthier ones. Your post really drives home the idea that I'm not 'done', and never really will be.

Hang in there! I know when my depression re-emerges, eating correctly and exercising feel like they take way to much effort. I bully through by thinking, "This is something I can control. I can't make the fog go away, but I can choose to take care of myself." The structure seems to help. I've got a daily routine, and sticking to it is easier than motivating myself to find something to do.

We're all rooting for you!

Report Inappropriate Comment
CARRIE1948 8/13/2010 8:23AM

    I'm with you. As soon as I let up constant vigilance, weight starts to creep back. Losing weight isn't like getting over other bad habits, it's a lifetime commitment.

Report Inappropriate Comment
DANSTOUT 8/13/2010 6:45AM

    The only thing I see missing from the plan is a new goal. What do you want and why do you want it? I find it impossible for me unless I have something to aim for.
Go for it!

Report Inappropriate Comment
BREWMASTERBILL 8/12/2010 10:38PM

    I don't have to deal with item 1, but perhaps getting that under control will solve a lot of this?

This is not hard. Losing weight is not hard. Maintaining weight is not hard. The concepts are not difficult or confusing. You know, you've mastered them brilliantly. However, getting one's head in the game is hard. I'm not sure there is going to be a site called getyourheadinthegame.com, but in lieu of that, this is the place. Getting your head in the game has little to do with whether your gaining, losing, maintaining.

I look at your background image and see an impressive culmination of so many efforts. I find it very motivating, you should too (and I think you do). Do not let short term emotions impede long term logic. Get your head in the game and kick this ugly trend in the @$$!

Report Inappropriate Comment
DDOORN 8/12/2010 10:24PM

    Struggling in much the same way here too...I think the pay-off of the falling numbers fades as one gets closer to "normal" weight and there isn't quite the "pay-off" to which we've grown accustomed. Despite all the WONDERFUL WAYS I can now celebrate my thinner life, it somehow isn't enough to sustain and motivate me as much as I once was.

Been spoiled by my biking...but circumstances such as weather and late work hours don't allow me to do it EVERY single day...and when I can't? I've often let my cardio slide....ugh!

Gotta get back to it!

Don

Report Inappropriate Comment
GRACEFULIFE 8/12/2010 10:10PM

    I'm pushing myself, almost all the time. Push you? Sure. And you're right on exactly what needs to be done in terms of taking each day as it comes, etc etc. Never, ever, EVER give up.

The plan: good. Do it.

Let me know what sort of pushing you need. You know that I, and Bill, and no doubt many others are happy to do so.

And remember: I'm watching you, Wazowski. Always watching. Always.....

Oh, and you want more motivation? Have you logged onto a computer and looked at my latest collage? When you see it, you'll &^*$ bricks. I can tell you didn't look at it carefully yet since you haven't commented on it.

Report Inappropriate Comment
TATI13 8/12/2010 8:07PM

    I know how you feel. For me, I get on the scale. At least once a week. I know alot of people who struggle with body image issues say weighing is an obsessive activity. But I feel that for those of us who have struggled with obesity and have lost a substantial amount of weight, vigilance is really necessary. (After all, whether it was genes, mind, or appetite, we *were* big for a reason!) Clothes stretch. The mirror lies. It may feel like 1 or 2 lbs. But it may be 10 - 20 lbs. And I need the scale to know the difference.

And I have regain strategies that I have written out *ahead of time*. Like, when I've gained 5 lbs, what do I do? When I've gained 10 lbs? What do I do? For example, if I get over 15, my rule is that I have to hire a trainer. Which for me, would be significant. I don't have alot of excess money lying around, so hiring a trainer would mean giving something else up. But I also acknowledge that sometimes, you have to manufacture motivation. And having someone else to push me along for a month may, at least for me, be necessary at times.

Comment edited on: 8/12/2010 8:09:26 PM

Report Inappropriate Comment
ALWAYS4MYKIDS 8/12/2010 4:39PM

    You can do it! I agree with your thoughts, it isn't about just losing the weight and then moving on and improving other places in your life. That is why instead of saying I am on a weight loss journey I say I am on a weight loss adventure. To me, the word "journey" insinuates that it will eventually come to an end. There is no end for the people who have struggled their entire life with this. As with any adventure, generally there is not a map - we just go out and try to discover something new. During the adventure there will be surprises, ups and downs, good times and bad, and times we get loss on our way. We'll have to backtrack to get to where we knew we were before. Retracing our steps makes the path easier to follow. You never know where you'll end up when you go on an adventure, just that something different is around the bend.

emoticonMissy

Report Inappropriate Comment
4A-HEALTHY-BMI 8/12/2010 3:44PM

    @ONTHEGOMO
Yeah, I'm familiar with Refuse to Regain. I've got a copy of her book. That site along with Second Helping Online are two of the very scant resouces available.

Report Inappropriate Comment
ONTHEGOMO 8/12/2010 3:35PM

    Hey, check out Barbara Berkeley's "Refuse to Regain" website and book. It's helping me. My weight still varies and I still weigh and exercise every day and go on line to read and write. But that's all. Oh, I eat the way she recommends. That has helped a lot.

mo

Report Inappropriate Comment
LOVEAZ 8/12/2010 2:01PM

    You can do it too. I think you have a good point about resources for maintenance also. Just keep on stopping by and doing what you did before!

Report Inappropriate Comment


A dose of reality in an unreal world

Thursday, August 05, 2010

I find it hard sometimes being altogether too human while sustaining a nearly superhuman weight loss. Yes, I did it. Yes, I'm trying to balance keeping the weight off while exploring my world as a smaller, fitter person. No, it isn't easy.

Yes, I've been able to take up whitewater kayaking. Yes, I've rapidly improved at it, but no, I'm not where I want to be in it. This past weekend the Deerfield River decided I'd gotten a bit too uppity (and it's true I had) and taught me a brusing lesson that kept me out of the boat half of Saturday, all of Sunday, and off my road bike today.

It's painful because I have no idea what my limits ARE anymore, since I've exceeded so many of the ones I used to believe in. So now I'm trying to catch up with my 20-something paddling friends (who started almost a year before me) and why not?! I mean, I've done things already beyond my wildest dreams. Why SHOULDN'T I be paddling class IV rapids cleanly less than a year after beginning the sport?

So what if I'm in my mid-40s and female (and they're male and in their 20s)? So what if three years ago I carried more fat on me than I weigh total now? I'm superhuman, right? I can clearly do ANYTHING, so I will, right?

I'm not a patient person. When I figure out what I want I usually end up wanting it yesterday. So I have a hard time when things in life give me a reality check. I mean, my recent transformation has been so unreal, I don't even know what kind of world I live in anymore. It's quite disorienting. And disappointing when things don't go the way I hope they will.

I'm resting up so I can paddle this weekend. I'm going to work on my skills, strength, and use this disappointment to fuel progress toward my overall maintenance goals.

When I first really discovered white water kayaking late last autumn I wasn't even to my goal weight yet, and decided I wanted to be the baddest 40-something ass on the river who used to weigh over 300 lbs. I'm probably close to that already but it's not enough anymore.

Maybe I didn't conquer the Dryway this weekend. But I will eventually, and when that day comes I'll be ready for it. Despite my age. Despite my gender. Despite my fitness history. Despite how long or not I've been paddling.

-----------------
GRACEFULIFE asked what actually happened, so I'll paste my response here:

Well, let's see.

I left my house super early (4:30am), picked up my paddling buddy at 5:30, and we drove to Charlemont, MA (5+ hours) met up with some more paddling friends, and headed down the Dryway around 11 or 12.

www.americanwhite water.org/content/River/detail/ id/681/

I wasn't scared at all and I probably should have been. I was tired from the drive and didn't take that into account. I was in my creek boat which I haven't used much these past few months. I have been paddling pretty easy water lately, too, and after a 2-week hiatus. And the stretch we were running starts out really easy with a bunch of fun class III rapids and then suddenly at the end it's three class IV rapids in a row. So it was kind of a recipe for disaster, but I was not experienced enough to recognize it.

I flipped a couple of times on the upper section and managed to roll up without too much difficulty. I noticed that my creek boat just doesn't maneuver like the play boat and I was having to adjust my paddling style to accommodate that.

I flipped in the first class IV rapid (Dunbar) and had trouble getting back up so I popped out. That wasn't good, but it wasn't fatal. Got me and my gear to the side, emptied the boat, and got back on the river.

The second class IV rapid (Dragon's Tooth) we scouted and I ran it OK but eddied out river right instead of river left where I was supposed to be.

That set me up for an awkward line entering the last rapid, Labyrinth. I got flipped, couldn't come up, and ended up popping out and swimming most of that one. It was really... something. Lots of water, getting pushed down, surfacing with barely time to catch another breath before being shoved under again.

So that was enough for that day. The following day I was back and ready to do the whole thing clean.

But I was kind of wigged out about the day before and hadn't logically thought through WHY I'd been having trouble rolling. (now I think it's because my head was coming up too soon)

So I paddled really conservatively and not quite aggressively enough for conditions.

Managed to get through most of the whole thing including Dunbar and most of Dragon's Tooth without even flipping, but flipped at the end of the second-to-last rapid.

Again I had trouble rolling up. And this time I was getting hit HARD by underwater rocks. It was ugly. My paddle was being yanked around in my hands by the current. It was too much. I popped out.

There was a raft right behind me on my tail and to avoid being run over I grabbed onto their webbing. My foot got caught in my boat's backband strings. The raft guide hauled me up onto the raft where I was stuck on my back with my leg hanging over the side still tangled in my boat.

And we started going down Labyrinth that way. With me getting thrown from side to side as my boat flailed in the rapids. I was terrified that my leg was going to get broken and started screaming to let me off the raft. The guide told me to "let my foot come out of the bootie."

This is impossible with the booties I have. They're ON, and for good reason. They're hard to pull off even when the velcro is released. I screamed that I couldn't, at which point she reached down and cut the strings tangling my foot.

My shoulder already hurt at this point but at least my leg was OK, thank God. I took my paddle and joined the raft customers paddling the raft down the rest of the rapid. Even injured I could tell by feel that only the guide and I were really paddling that thing. It was pretty funny.

I was reunited with my boat down below, got into it, and paddled to the takeout.

The whole thing was just really upsetting, especially the shoulder injury part, because we'd planned to run the river again in the afternoon and paddle the following day before heading home.

It was also disturbing because a bad shoulder injury (like a rotator cuff issue) can put an end to your season.

And I was worried that I was holding back my friends and that I wouldn't be able to paddle with them anymore, because I suck.

One of 'em is training to be an EMT so he used towels to make a sling. Another actually had ice in his beer cooler so I could stick some up under there. And eventually we got me back to my car where my pain pills were.

They got to run the river again, and my carpool buddy did get to run something the day after.

But it was painful physically and emotionally and I think the river got my attention, which is what needed to happen, given that I was oblivious to all the compounding potential signs of a problem. It wasn't so much the Dryway that bit me, but my own hubris.

What is actually hurt is my trapezius. I suspect that a rock hit it while I was upside down in Dragon's Tooth because it hurts most right over the place where my bones are near the surface.

I did ride my bike to work on Tuesday, but yesterday it was hurting again so I skipped the commute today and am icing it.

I really want to paddle again this weekend so I hope if I take it easy that'll be possible.

Older maybe, but not necessarily wiser than my companions. But maybe if I can learn some patience and restraint I'll get there.

--------------------

@ OCTOBER2842
The point of this post is that I don't KNOW my limits anymore. Unfortunately I really can't find out where they are unless I exceed them sometimes. Given a different set of conditions, I would have run that stretch fine, I suspect.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TENACIOUSTIGER 6/28/2012 11:06PM

    ooow that sounds very scary but you've come back on top

Report Inappropriate Comment
JAY75REY 8/6/2010 2:23PM

    Ouch.

Your inner super-woman collided with the outer forces of nature and the limits of the physical body. It was an epic three way collision.

I'm glad you weren't injured more seriously, but I feel your disappointment. Be easy on yourself as you heal and you'll be back again, super-woman, wiser and more prepared. Experience is such a good teacher!

emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
CARRIE1948 8/6/2010 7:25AM

    We're all chasing someone. When I go out with you, I feel the same thing - a 50-something trying to do what a 40-something can do. And, when I'm with my daughter, trying to keep pace with a 20-something.

The reality is pushing your limits is what got you where you are. Sometimes we need physical thunderbolts to remind us we're human. That's cool. Just don't let them stop you for too long.

There are days I can barely move, but I haven't missed a weight training session and on all but 2 days in the last few months I've gotten in at least 2 hours of cardio. As the Nike ad says, "Just Do It"

Report Inappropriate Comment
DDOORN 8/6/2010 6:16AM

    I've had similar feelings, albeit under TOTALLY different conditions and pushing myself beyond my limits to a MUCH smaller degree as I've tackled increasingly longer and more challenging bike rides with folks generally 10-20 years younger. However I haven't tackled such things without a niggling voice in the back of my mind, causing doubt: "Are you REALLY up to this challenge?" So far, yes I HAVE been, so no major miscall at this point. But I can't help but have some thoughts along those lines as I prepare for 175 miles on my bike in 2 days' time.

I think it's healthy to challenge ourselves and our notions of what we can do...but like anything else (food, etc.) it's always possible to have TOO MUCH of a good thing!

Rest up and have at it...I just KNOW you're gonna NAIL any whitewater challenge you set your sights on in due time...IF you can be safe out there!

Don

Report Inappropriate Comment
GRACEFULIFE 8/5/2010 4:32PM

    Don't paddle tired, or with equipment with which you aren't comfortable, is something I learned on the Huron in that trip I mentioned before. It sounds like that raft's guide was pretty on top of things, which was no doubt good for both of you. The booties I bought would be the same thing.. impossible to get off. I got the NRS Kickers, which have both a big ol' velcro strap and a string closure around the top. Not coming off... which sounds like a good idea most of the time. It sure looks like a lot of boil in the water in Dragon's Tooth, that's for sure. Rotator cuff injury is a big deal... careful with the shoulders, please!

I swam a V+ on the Gauley when I rafted it... and yes I remember that feeling of just being pulled every which way, sort of sucked up then spit out. Then floating downriver feet first, feet hitting rocks... it sounds like you got banged up worse than I did that day. I bet our motley-ass crew of rafters didn't have a whole lot of paddling force either, on average.

Another takeaway is if you haven't paddled the specific boat you will use on a trip, during the week before the trip get it on easy water, practice maneuvering and rolling. That's a guideline I'm definitely going to remember as my journey continues.


Report Inappropriate Comment
DLCJ21 8/5/2010 4:12PM

  I feel the same way in a lot of things I try to do. It resulted in 2 high ankle sprains that kept me from doing anything productive for 2 weeks each time. I scaled it back a bit, worked a little harder to train, and a few months later, I'm able to do what I was trying to do when I got hurt without pushing myself as hard.

I'm sure the same will be said for you and your kayaking...there's no reason you shouldn't be able to keep up, but if they've been doing it for years and you've only been doing it for a year, it's an unrealistic expectation to be out there trying to do the same thing with less experience.

Report Inappropriate Comment
4A-HEALTHY-BMI 8/5/2010 3:59PM

    Well, let's see.

I left my house super early (4:30am), picked up my paddling buddy at 5:30, and we drove to Charlemont, MA (5+ hours) met up with some more paddling friends, and headed down the Dryway around 11 or 12.

http://www.americanwhite
water.org/content/River/detail/
id/681/

I wasn't scared at all and I probably should have been. I was tired from the drive and didn't take that into account. I was in my creek boat which I haven't used much these past few months. I have been paddling pretty easy water lately, too, and after a 2-week hiatus. And the stretch we were running starts out really easy with a bunch of fun class III rapids and then suddenly at the end it's three class IV rapids in a row. So it was kind of a recipe for disaster, but I was not experienced enough to recognize it.

I flipped a couple of times on the upper section and managed to roll up without too much difficulty. I noticed that my creek boat just doesn't maneuver like the play boat and I was having to adjust my paddling style to accommodate that.

I flipped in the first class IV rapid (Dunbar) and had trouble getting back up so I popped out. That wasn't good, but it wasn't fatal. Got me and my gear to the side, emptied the boat, and got back on the river.

The second class IV rapid (Dragon's Tooth) we scouted and I ran it OK but eddied out river right instead of river left where I was supposed to be.

That set me up for an awkward line entering the last rapid, Labyrinth. I got flipped, couldn't come up, and ended up popping out and swimming most of that one. It was really... something. Lots of water, getting pushed down, surfacing with barely time to catch another breath before being shoved under again.

So that was enough for that day. The following day I was back and ready to do the whole thing clean.

But I was kind of wigged out about the day before and hadn't logically thought through WHY I'd been having trouble rolling. (now I think it's because my head was coming up too soon)

So I paddled really conservatively and not quite aggressively enough for conditions.

Managed to get through most of the whole thing including Dunbar and most of Dragon's Tooth without even flipping, but flipped at the end of the second-to-last rapid.

Again I had trouble rolling up. And this time I was getting hit HARD by underwater rocks. It was ugly. My paddle was being thrown around in my hands by the current It was too much. I popped out.

There was a raft right behind me on my tail and to avoid being run over I grabbed onto their webbing. My foot got caught in my boat's backband strings. The raft guide hauled me up onto the raft where I was stuck on my back with my leg hanging over the side still tangled in my boat.

And we started going down Labyrinth that way. With me getting thrown from side to side as my boat flailed in the rapids. I was terrified that my leg was going to get broken and started screaming to let me off the raft. The guide told me to "let my foot come out of the bootie."

This is impossible with the booties I have. They're ON, and for good reason. They're hard to pull off even when the velcro is released. I screamed that I couldn't, at which point she reached down and cut the strings tangling my foot.

My shoulder already hurt at this point but at least my leg was OK, thank God. I took my paddle and joined the raft customers paddling the raft down the rest of the rapid. Even injured I could tell by feel that only the guide and I were really paddling that thing. It was pretty funny.

I was reunited with my boat down below, got into it, and paddled to the takeout.

The whole thing was just really upsetting, especially the shoulder injury part, because we'd planned to run the river again in the afternoon and paddle the following day before heading home.

It was also disturbing because a bad shoulder injury (like a rotator cuff issue) can put an end to your season.

And I was worried that I was holding back my friends and that I wouldn't be able to paddle with them anymore, because I suck.

One of 'em is training to be an EMT so he used towels to make a sling. Another actually had ice in his beer cooler so I could stick some up under there. And eventually we got me back to my car where my pain pills were.

They got to run the river again, and my carpool buddy did get to run something the day after.

But it was painful physically and emotionally and I think the river got my attention, which is what needed to happen, given that I was oblivious to all the compounding potential signs of a problem. It wasn't so much the Dryway that bit me, but my own hubris.

What is actually hurt is my trapezius. I suspect that a rock hit it while I was upside down in Dragon's Tooth because it hurts most right over the place where my bones are near the surface.

I did ride my bike to work on Tuesday, but yesterday it was hurting again so I skipped the commute today and am icing it.

I really want to paddle again this weekend so I hope if I take it easy that'll be possible.

Older maybe, but not necessarily wiser than my companions. But maybe if I can learn some patience and restraint I'll get there.
emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
OCTOBER2842 8/5/2010 3:38PM

    It's great to push the limit but it sounds like you went to far

Report Inappropriate Comment
GRACEFULIFE 8/5/2010 3:25PM

    OK... you talked around it so much that I just have to ask... what happened?

There's no reason you shouldn't be chasing the 20 year old boys. But now that you're older and wiser, you can do so carefully and wisely. At least that's the idea. Big rivers are dangerous places. Take care of yourself, please.

Report Inappropriate Comment


Good news, bad news.

Sunday, July 11, 2010


Mile 46. 10 left to go.

The good news is that I went the whole distance (1.2 miles open water swim, 56 miles on bike).

The bad news is that I missed the bike course cutoff by 18 minutes so they didn't list even my swim time in the results. As far as the results are concerned, I never even did it.
emoticon

But *I* know I did it. My muscles sure do.

I barely made it out of the swim course - with 2 minutes to spare. I'm a super slow swimmer.

According to my HR monitor, here are my times (since I don't get any from the microchip I wore the whole time)

1.2 miles swim
1:22
591 calories
165 max HR
128 avg HR

56 miles bike ride
4:00
1865 cal
156 max HR
136 avg HR

I don't regret doing it, but I'm glad it's over, and now I can go back to my kayaking with a clean conscience, not feeling like I should be triathlon training, instead! LOL (I signed up for this event back in November, long before I got hooked on white water...)

And by the way, 2456 calories is way more than I usually eat in a day. And I *burned* it, on top of my BMR. LOL

P.S. About the "training" - I was doing fine until April when white water season started and simultaneously the pool I was using closed for 3 weeks for a semester break. I started paddling frequently and never looked back. It was so much more fun. I rode my bike outside probably about 3 or 4 times since April. Spin class became unavailable sometime in May due to summer break at the college where they teach it.

I'd swum 1.2 miles only once before, in the pool and wasn't as fast as I did it yesterday. And that was back in February. I believe the last time I rode my bike more than 26 miles in a single shot was in the 1980s. To be honest, I wasn't 100% sure I was physically going to be able to complete the course.

Having done it, I have no doubt that if I'd actually stuck to the training schedule I would have completed the course in plenty of time, both swim and bike. But the training is so boooooooring compared with kayaking. I'd rather spend my energy paddling and training FOR paddling (cardio mixed with strength training) than focusing on just the cardio for this (bike + swim)

Maybe if I didn't have knee arthritis that prevents running I would be more into this - after all, as an "aquabike" participant I was already ineligible for any prizes or anything.

Anyway, I tried something new, did it, and found out that training for it just doesn't float my boat (literally). I don't regret trying it, and I'm relieved that I finished it, (and feel fine today). Now I know.

And NEXT YEAR I'm going to leave my ENTIRE SUMMER open for kayaking, because I can't tell you how many enticing trips with friends I had to turn down already for A) the diabetes charity ride I'd signed up for, and B) this triathlon.

I have two more things coming up, neither of them timed:

1) 1.2 mile charity swim next month. Piece of cake.
2) 100 mile charity ride in September. I'll just start riding my bike to work on a regular basis (14 miles each way). Should be fine.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BIKIN_NURSE 1/2/2011 2:54AM

  just read your blog. i'm planning on doing an aquabike event this year. haven't been swimming in years but love the biking!!! the thought of it makes me nervous. but it's just to prove to myself i can complete it not be a top competitor. hope to make it to florida from arkansas for the july event. where was yours?

Report Inappropriate Comment
NGCHILD 7/28/2010 5:21PM

    I am way behind in blogs .... but CONGRATS to you for your HUGE accomplishment!!

You are a ROCK star in my book!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
PSSN4FITNESS 7/21/2010 10:00AM

    Wow, scored or not, no one can take this accomplishment from you. That is an incredible feat! Congratulations!

emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
DAVEW175 7/21/2010 6:28AM

    Congratulations! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
ALYFITN 7/20/2010 9:15AM

    emoticon Sounds like you are making great choices. I love your kayaking pics and videos--very inspiring. And you stick to things you love--so great for body and soul. Great job trying the tri-athlete thingie. Congrats!

Report Inappropriate Comment
THEWEIGHTSOVER 7/14/2010 3:42PM

    Wow you are done! Great job finishing. Sounds like you could have rocked it if you had trained harder (or actually liked the training) Like you said, now you can do what you like best, whitewater.

Report Inappropriate Comment
SYSADMN 7/14/2010 10:29AM

    You AVERAGED 136 BPM for four hours? Fantastic, that's really impressive. I thought I was doing well to average 125 for a half hour on a stationary bike! Thanks for inspiring me to push myself a little harder

emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
AFM-SPARK 7/13/2010 4:57PM

    Awesome job! I don't see ANY bad news! What you've done is amazing!

I hope to try kayaking soon. It's pretty popular around here in the DC area. Problem is: now I've started working on the weekends when most "stuff" happens... Well, I'll see what happens, I don't even know if the job is going to work out for me.

-A

Report Inappropriate Comment
SUSIEMT 7/12/2010 10:49PM

    Wow! I am so proud of you! Good job! emoticon emoticon emoticon



Report Inappropriate Comment
DDOORN 7/12/2010 8:57PM

    Kudos to pushing yourself past that feeling of "can I do this?" !!

Best of all, there is NOTHING that tops the feeling of having found one's niche, the action that really sets you on FIRE! Love your decision to put kayaking first and foremost next summer!

Hey, a DVD you might enjoy: Paddle To The Sea

http://www.amazon.com/Pa
ddle-Released-association-Crite
rion-Collection/dp/B0012Z362GR>
Don

Report Inappropriate Comment
SPARKIE1964 7/12/2010 2:49PM

    SIMPLY AMAZING!

Report Inappropriate Comment
STEVIECAT4 7/12/2010 12:53PM

    CONGRATULATIONS MY FRIEND!!! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
TIREDOFWORKING 7/12/2010 9:16AM

    Wow! Great job! That is quite an accomplishment!

Report Inappropriate Comment
RAINBOWFALLS 7/12/2010 9:02AM

    Great job accomplishing what you set out to do. We talked about you while kayaking yesterday at our Binghamton Spark Rally. It was mentioned that you are far beyoond our simple lake peddling. It was my first time kayaking and I really enjoyed it a lot.

Report Inappropriate Comment
CARRIE1948 7/12/2010 7:09AM

    Way to go. Well done.

Report Inappropriate Comment
GRACEFULIFE 7/12/2010 12:01AM

    Well, you were able to complete it, without that much training I gather from your tone. So no matter. Now back to your regularly scheduled whitewater!!! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
ANNE7X7 7/11/2010 9:46PM

    Great job! You are my hero for even tackling the event! Way to go!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
ELYMWX 7/11/2010 8:17PM

    Congrats! At least you know you finished, and that's a supremely large one-day burn!

Report Inappropriate Comment
DANSTOUT 7/11/2010 8:15PM

    I'm with BB on that one, and I get tired driving 56 miles :) let alone ride a bike that far. Great job!

Report Inappropriate Comment
BREWMASTERBILL 7/11/2010 8:10PM

    Maybe I'm too easy, but I'm sufficiently impressed that you swam 1.2 miles. I swam a mile in high school and the scars still exist. That's just exhausting.

Report Inappropriate Comment
SEYMOORE 7/11/2010 7:01PM

    Wow!! I'm impressed, very inspiring!!! Congrats on your achievement!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
SIGLED 7/11/2010 6:58PM

    You did SUPER! You come away from the experience being able to say: I DID IT! Both the swim and the bike ride.

What a super time on your bike: 14 mph average!! That ain't nothing to sneeze at Kiddo!

A clean conscience for sure! With mind, body and soul cleansed.

Don't know much about the swimming. But I sure wouldn't mind having the swim after my 60 mile ride next weekend in hot, humid and windy Kansas!!! Woo! Hoo! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
AMBUDMAN 7/11/2010 6:16PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
CALGALFOX 7/11/2010 6:06PM

    It's great that you did it and good it's behind you because kayaking is awesome - if that's what turns your crank then I say crank it up!

Report Inappropriate Comment
GAILWINDS1 7/11/2010 5:59PM

    You are amazing just doing it and doing it to the best of your ability-there is no way I could bike 56miles!!
really good!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
YICHE12 7/11/2010 5:39PM

    Atta go! Job well done.

Unfortunately, these sort of things do happen in races... You should be proud of yourself.

emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment


1.2 miles of swimming, followed by 56 miles on a bike...

Saturday, July 10, 2010


Today my childhood friend Judy raced in the mini-Musselman (sprint) triathlon (2:05:25). She flew out here from CA with her kids just to do this race with me.

www.musselmantri.com/

Tomorrow is the half-iron race. Fortunately the race organizers have included an abbreviated version called an "Aquabike" that only involves the 1.2 mile swim and 56 mile bike ride. We essentially get to skip the half-marathon at the end.

I opted for the "Aquabike" because my knee arthritis is so bad I simply cannot run (or even walk) reasonable distances. This is why I enjoy kayaking, swimming, cycling, weight lifting, etc.

For grins I've defaced my bike jersey. Given how slow I am in the water and the fact that I'm in the second-to-last wave, I imagine that most people will not see it, since they'll all be ahead of me. But so what? The spectators can see it, and I can enjoy just knowing it's written on there.
emoticon

Wish me luck tomorrow! If I finish under 5 hours or before the course closes I'll be thrilled. LOL

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KAYOTIC 7/11/2010 9:22AM

    Love the defacement! And good luck, second to last wave isn't bad! My ski race I was in the last wave both years, and finished...

Have a great race! emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
BREWMASTERBILL 7/11/2010 8:42AM

    Holy crap, awesome arm definition. Oh, and good luck :)

Report Inappropriate Comment
FISHING88 7/11/2010 8:11AM

    That is an awesome way to celebrate your success on your journey! Good luck!

Report Inappropriate Comment
CARRIE1948 7/11/2010 7:49AM

    You are such an inspiration.

Report Inappropriate Comment
KAYAKKIM 7/11/2010 6:42AM

    I can't wait to hear how you did!

Report Inappropriate Comment
BAYBELIEVER 7/10/2010 3:59PM

    Love the shirt! That is awesome! Flaunt it! Can't wait to hear how you did! I'll be thinking of you!

Report Inappropriate Comment


19 Waterways

Tuesday, July 06, 2010


Well.

As of this past Saturday evening I have now paddled 19 different rivers/creeks.

The most recent were the Hudson river
www.americanwhitewater.org/content/R
iver/detail/id/1321/

and the Sacandaga
www.americanwhitewater.org/content/R
iver/detail/id/1400/

...both of which are fed by scheduled dam releases, which are very convenient!

Not sure what will be #20, or even when; I have a friend coming to visit and will be doing a triathlon with her this coming weekend and traveling with her the following weekend. So I'll be out of the boat(s) for a while. I may even end up with kayaking withdrawal... LOL

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KAYAKKIM 7/9/2010 6:52AM

    Way to go on 19 waterways! We have 3 lakes and one river on our frequent list, but I have never tried to track all the water ways I have paddled on...you have certainly got me thinking though...just in our area alone I have been on at least 5 different lakes and two rivers. I have paddled in Florida, La, Ca (northern and southern), Wy, Texas, Wisconson, DC, Va, West Va, Delaware, Maine, AZ, Canada, Germany, Czech republic and more states I am probably not thinking of now. I have driven cross country 3 times and usually tried to camp on lakes that I could paddle on. Sounds like we have a lot in common- except that I prefer lake paddling now that I have a family!

Report Inappropriate Comment
AFM-SPARK 7/7/2010 3:23PM

    Wow! I want to learn to kayak. A Meetup.com group I belong to does it, so does Washington Woman Outdoors. I hope to try it soon.

-A

Report Inappropriate Comment
RAINBOWFALLS 7/7/2010 8:48AM

    Super job! It looks like fun and a great way to cool off in this horrible heat wave we are having.

Report Inappropriate Comment
CARRIE1948 7/7/2010 6:57AM

    Sounds interesting.

Report Inappropriate Comment
DRASADAF 7/7/2010 2:21AM

    oh wow must have gr8 experience...i too want to do it ...not sure how...

Report Inappropriate Comment
DDOORN 7/6/2010 11:34PM

    You're just out there nailing any / every waterway you can! Love it!

Hey, which triathalon are you doing...? Local? I'm forgetting when the Broome Co. one is...

Have a GREAT TIME!

Don

Report Inappropriate Comment
THEWEIGHTSOVER 7/6/2010 7:48PM

    Wow, that looks like a lot of fun. I can't wait to kayak, but I think I may stick to the gentle kind,, not white water. lol. And a triathalon this weekend. What a Warrior! YOu rock.

Report Inappropriate Comment
RAYLINSTEPHENS 7/6/2010 6:29PM

    Wow! You are really "making tracks" down all these waterways!

Report Inappropriate Comment
BESTSUSIEYET 7/6/2010 5:46PM

    I see quite a difference between your kayaking and my recent (1st ever) time in a kayak -- on a quiet inland sea area -- far from waves, rocks, etc. But it sure was fun and we saw some beautiful sights. Enjoy your waterways with the thrills!! God Bless You on your Journey to Health!

Report Inappropriate Comment
4A-HEALTHY-BMI 7/6/2010 5:22PM

    Most of my paddling buddies own their boats. You can get a pretty decent used one for $400-$500.

Having said that, my most frequent kayaking buddy borrows his boat(s) from the university outing club, since they have some decent ones, he's a skilled paddler, the boats they have happen to fit him OK, and because he's currently unemployed (which is probably the biggest factor, LOL). He does own his own paddle & PFD and is planning to get his own helmet soon.

Comment edited on: 7/6/2010 5:26:49 PM

Report Inappropriate Comment
BREWMASTERBILL 7/6/2010 5:13PM

    OK, dumb question time. Is it typical to rent or own the kayak?

Report Inappropriate Comment


First Page  1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 Last Page