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June Baby.

Sunday, November 24, 2013

As part of my writing course this year we were asked to write an autobiographical piece but from a different point of view, i spent ages thinking about which part of my past i should write about, in the end i decide i would write about my sister Jeannie, some of you will know her better than others, i have shown this to my mum and she seemed to think that it was ok to send, and i wanted to share it with you.

A June baby.

I’d always meant to go get the ring on Thursday morning, but stuff happens, you know? So by the time I got to the jewellers it was shut, half day closing. Who does that any more? We don’t do that at the super market, we went 24 hour last June, so now there are shifts round the clock. I do a lot of night shifts now, its quiet here at three in the morning, no one to bother me down here in Home and Leisure. I try and stay down the front of the store, don’t go up the far isles towards the back, although I can see the signs on the back wall, pictures of cheeses and salami to show the shoppers that this is the deli section. I can see them over the shelving as I restack the CDs and DVDs. That’s where my Jeannie worked, slicing the meats, cutting the cheeses. I’d see here talking to customers, letting them try before they buy. But I can’t go up there any more, can’t stand to see it, they offered me a transfer after it happened, thought I’d be better off working in another store…not so many memory’s, less awkward all round for me and for them too I suppose. But no, I couldn’t leave, sometimes the memory’s help, I go over and over it trying to change that night, turn back the clock, wind it right back. My life is full of what ifs now. But how far would I wind it back? To the staff meeting perhaps, that made me late? It made me get there after one when the staff had locked the small shop and Jeannie’s engagement ring was trapped there inside until the morning, the morning of her eighteenth birthday. My plans were in ruins, I wouldn’t be able to turn up at her house early with it. I would have to change my plans. Maybe if I had come up with a different plan, a better plan, any plan other than the one I did come up with, I long so much to not have phoned her, to not have told her I would be busy all day, couldn’t give her a lift home that night and would meet her back at her parents house at ‘sixish’. She was upset, understandably so, I’d kept the ring a secret you see, we’d told our family’s we wanted to get engaged, but they said at eighteen we were far too young. I’d hoped the ring would prove to them all that we were serious. I have a suspicion she knew I’d got her something special, because I remember how disappointed she was when I handed over the oversized card while she was working, across the deli counter, and apologised again for her having to get herself home. If only she’d managed to get that shift swap, not had to work on her birthday, they have introduced that as policy here now, it’s a perk of the job, you get an extra days holiday because you automatically get the day off. I’d like to think its because of what happened but its just good PR really. So when I finished, off I raced to get the ring, glad to be in the car, it was poring with rain, I was thinking that we would have to have the fireworks I’d bought on another night although tonight was November the fifth. There’s another what if, maybe if she’d been born in summer, not been a bonfire baby? But no, I can’t turn the clock back that far, can I? I wish, oh how I wish I could, then it would have all been alright, everything would be alright, we’d still be together. Maybe if the train guard had let her take her bike on the train, instead of refusing her, it was wet, the train was packed. So instead she set off to cycled the seven miles home. She loved her bike, had bought it with her first wage, had always wanted one, and cycled everywhere. If only I’d got there before half day closing, I go over and over and over that day, that pointless meeting, that train guard, no one swapping the shift, the tanker driver, not seeing her, I freeze frame when ever I come to that part. I know from the inquest, he didn’t see her, he says he even rolled down his window to see better at the junction, he looked both ways and there was nothing there, no traffic. No she was cycling in front of his cab, he didn’t look down. He never saw her. If I could turn the clock back at all, that is the time I would alter, the time I would change, it was all fixable up until then. I’d got the ring, and was at her house with her sisters waiting, we’d rigged up a banner, I’d showed them the ring. A policeman came to her house, we were all so happy up until then, we’d come up with a crazy plan to all hide and jump out on her; knowing she would be cold and cross at having to cycle home in the rain, but the ring and the banner and the cake would make up for all that. But someone at the door brought us out of hiding, stopped all our smiles dead. She was dead, we stood there. Time stopped. If only I could rewind it, play it over again, start a fresh. Maybe this time make her a June baby.

thankyou for reading it.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CYBERCITYSHELL 11/26/2013 2:57AM

    I'm so sorry for your sad loss Sarah. It was good reading, but very sad. So much in life would be really really different if we could change one thing we did in our life. If we went in a different direction the whole picture would have been so different. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SERENE-BEAN 11/25/2013 9:34AM

    Wow. emoticon

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PJBONARRIGO 11/24/2013 8:18PM

    Wow- this was a riveting read, on the edge of my seat. Just hoping it's really fiction. (((hugs)))

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DEBIGENE 11/24/2013 12:33PM

    WOW you really are talented !!! Thanks for sharing it with us, I enjoyed reading it.


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Vertual walk across Bulgaria.

Sunday, August 04, 2013

I belong to the where are you walking to team and I just thought that after all the awful weather we have been having up here in the North of Scotland this vertical walk might be a good one to follow so I have put up a link to the actual walk so that you can take a look at where I am walking to. I record all my distances on the fitbit, as you can see its quite a long walk but I usually manage to get there each month...

Possible routes -
138 miles - Veliko Tarnovo to Sofia

I will keep up dating!!

1st - 2miles
2nd - 7miles
3rd - 3miles
4th - 4.5miles

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DEEGIRL50 8/6/2013 5:45AM

    Virtual Walks emoticon I love using my imagination. I didn't know there was a whole team out there virtual walking!

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NOREGRET2010 8/5/2013 5:07PM

    Sounds fun!! :) I got behind in logging my virtual walk, sigh. Just getting my food logged the last couple weeks has been about all I could do! Go you!!!

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TRAVELGRRL 8/4/2013 10:42AM

    Fun! Walk on, girl! emoticon

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GRACEANNE46 8/4/2013 9:12AM

    Very cool! Sounds like an interesting virtual walk. When I log in my miles for the virtual walk/bike across the U.S., I count everything: slow walks with the dog, walks on the treadmill, the Eliptical, and the stationary bike.
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Great job!

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    That sounds an interesting team.
Good on you, emoticon walking can be heaps of fun especially with the scenery.
Do you walk on your own or with other people?
It is nice either way. I walk the dogs on my own or sometimes Dwayne comes. Otherwise we go out to a park, and we have lots of nice parks around. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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_VALEO_ 8/4/2013 8:08AM

    That's a nice virtual walk! emoticon emoticon

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its been a while!

Sunday, July 28, 2013

I know that I have not had very much to say for myself for quite a while! I have been trying to deal with my anxiousness which has been much worse these past few weeks. I have managed to keep up with my exercise routine but that has been about it!!

I made a really big decision last Monday; I am trying the juice fast diet; its been six days so far and I have lost 12lb so far. I have not eaten anything else - no bread no meat no sweets no chocolate no sneaky cakes or cookies or pastries, no alcohol. It is actually working, I know its not a long term solution, but I was struggling even when I was tracking all I ate.

I am hoping that this juice fast will cure my addiction to toast, etc.!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BESSYKINNEY 7/30/2013 11:19AM

    I've been wanting to a do a juice fast for awhile! Keep us posted on how it goes!

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_VALEO_ 7/29/2013 4:02PM

    Hang on there sweetie! I'm struggling with a bout of depressive state myself, but you seem doing better and you are proactive.

That's indeed a great and challenging decision you took. Kudos and congrats on your weight loss!
I should also try a one-week detox juice diet to boost my metabolism.

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CYBERCITYSHELL 7/29/2013 12:21AM

    Sorry you have been feeling anxious Sarah. I know what that is like, I suffer a little anxiety. But my daughter gets it really badly where she can't leave the house to do what she should be doing. I hope that is getting better.
That is good you have got back on track by doing the juice diet. Twelve pounds that is great. Do be careful though when you eat normally, as it could be really easy to put some of that back on.
That is funny we all have different foods that can make us go off track with/for. I sometimes even go off track having too much of my healthy eating foods. Biscuits are one of mine, and I have my first client every morning after her shower I make her and me a cuppa. And she has a few biscuits for her first meal of the day. I used to have a couple of bikkis with her. But now I don't and she keeps commenting on that. But at home if my cookie monster son leaves biscuits lying around, I can be tempted. It can be hard too living with people who are eating other food which can be dangerous for our eating plans. We haven't bought ice cream with the shopping for weeks-which is good for me.
That is great you are doing your exercises Sarah. And great you are back on track with your eating too. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
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GRACEANNE46 7/28/2013 6:34PM

    I saw the documentary "Fat, Sick, and nearly dead" recently. These 2 guys do an extended juice fast to lose weight and get tons of micro-nutrients. They both had a rare auto- immune disease when they started and, because of all the micro-nutrients, they were getting, their health greatly improved. I could never do a full juice fast but I would be interested in having one juice per day to get all those vitamins. I hope you have success on this fast. Keep us posted!

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JDBENNING 7/28/2013 1:19PM

    Congrats on the weight loss! Plateaus are so frustrating, especially when you are tracking and exercising and nothing seems to help. Good luck reaching your goals!

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TRAVELGRRL 7/28/2013 12:56PM

    I wish I had your discipline! I am stuck where I am, but I'm hanging in.

Wow, I hope the 12 pounds STAYS gone! That's awesome!!!

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PJBONARRIGO 7/28/2013 11:56AM

    Good luck :-)

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TRUCKERSMRS 7/28/2013 11:55AM

    It seems like it is working for you - which is great. When you start to reintroduce foods you may find it easier to keep a more controlled approach to certain items. Really interested to hear how it goes for you.

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DEBIGENE 7/28/2013 11:18AM

    I hope that works out for you, good luck.

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STEVIEBEE569 7/28/2013 10:27AM

    Much success to you. Sometimes, a juice fast helps to break a plateau or jump start your weight loss. You have to do what works for you. Keep up the good work!

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PATTYKLAVER 7/28/2013 7:46AM

    I've never heard of the juice fast diet. What do you have to do/eat? That's a lot of weight to lose - good for you!

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SIFUMARY1 7/28/2013 6:47AM

    Good Luck

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a blue sky day

Sunday, May 26, 2013

A blue sky day

a skylark day

a peat cutters dream

high banks

no mud

a flask of tea

a light breaze and the sun

what more?

Not a thing

- but you my love.

Up bank we'll go

leave a note

pined to the door

Closed due to

a blue sky day

a skylark day...

I know poetry is different things to different people, I hope you liked it, I wrote it last summer when the weather was good for peat cutting, so far this year its been a bit of a wash out.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MARIANNE9855 6/1/2013 1:46PM

    Beautiful- very visual- keep writing and sharing emoticon

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DEBIGENE 5/26/2013 9:17PM

    I thought it was lovely. Hope the sun comes out soon for you !!!

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PJBONARRIGO 5/26/2013 3:36PM

    Great images, thanks for sharing. I would like to be "in" that day right now! emoticon

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ROBBIEY 5/26/2013 3:26PM

  I like it. Keep writing.... emoticon

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been busy but need to get back to it!!!!

Sunday, May 26, 2013

ok so I know I haven't spent too much time around here this past month, I have been on holiday and working on the house. But I have also not been following my diet plan. I have been constantly on the move but that really isn't enough. we have managed to do a lot to the house we now have moved a couple of the walls and made a large hole in the sitting room ceiling and then built a staircase and so can now get into the loft6 without a ladder, which is good, I really don't like climbing ladders!!! so the next step is clearing all the junk in the loft then strengthening the beams and then we can lay a floor!!!

I am just sorry the weather was not better while I have been off so that I could have gone walking, I had hoped to walk most of the higher hills on Harris while I have been off but the weather has been awful. not just wet but also very windy! I did manage to do my 5k run in aid of cancer research a week yesterday in dry weather which was good.

I know that we are almost at the end of the month and that next month I want to do better than I have this month - not only have I not lost any weight but I think.. (I dare not weigh myself) have put back on all that I have lost over the past two months!! I know that I can't get into my size 14uk jeans that I was wearing when I went into hospital on the first... this is not good. HELP people!!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

OLIVIANIGHT 5/26/2013 11:44AM

    I just did my Race for Life today!
I love the sound of all your work on the house, that must be exciting, and very time-consuming so I wouldn't feel too bad about not focussing so completely on Sparking. At least we can always get back to it and start again : )

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DEBIGENE 5/26/2013 9:37AM

    Hi Sarah, so good to see you. You have been missed. Sometimes life gets in the way and we take care of other things instead of ourselves. The important thing is you recognize it is time for you to get back on track with your healthy. So let's go girl !!! This was a good look at how being active daily on SP helps keep us accountable, motivated and committed to making the necessary changes to live a healthy life.

You can do it and we are here for you !!! Welcome back !!!

and .......... CONGRATS on all the work you have accomplished on your home, that's quite alot you've got done. It sounds lovely can't wait to see photos !!!

Comment edited on: 5/26/2013 9:39:08 AM

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