Tuesday, December 07, 2010
Why can't I break the spell? My children and all their friends know.. "Don't take the last Pepsi, it's Mom's". People who've been in my house who don't know have done this and my children cower in fear because they know that I won't have my Pepsi. I get irrational, I get headaches, I get MEAN. I'm not a mean person.
Now Pepsi and I came to an agreement. Instead of the big 44 ouncers that I previously indulged in twice a day, we've reduced our affair to a 12 ounce can. Pepsi is okay if I cheat with his friend Diet Pepsi the rest of the day or with tea. and yes I still get my 100 ounces of water on top of all this. So we've reduced our calorie issues. I know it's not perfect and I shouldn't drink my calories, but... I have to have SOMETHING. My life is so stressful. Can I just keep my Pepsi. I gave up chocolate for the most part.
But Pepsi won't break his hold on me. and now that Throwback has come back, oh my, I'm just in heaven.
I know if I ever wanted to compete which I seriously doubt I will, Pepsi and I will have to part ways. I don't want the perfect body (just a smoking hawt one), so I don't feel that I have to give him up totally.
Besides.... I think it's his friend Miller Lite that causes most of my weight gain.
Monday, December 06, 2010
I haven't worked out in 13 (count em) 13 days. That's the longest hiatus I've had since April when I started this journey. I almost forgot what the gym looked like. But it's not because I've been busy, I've been mad at my plateau (which by the way is still happening), or I'm being too lazy. No, it's because I've been SICK and not the sick where it knocks you out and you lie in bed all day, no I get the kind of functional but I know I can't breath if I try to work out and every time I bend over I feel like somebody punched me in the face, yes, the dreaded sinus infection and bronchitis. I've had each of them, but not EVER at the same time, until this past week. It started Thanksgiving night and progressively has been kicking me in the A$$.
I gave up and went to the doctor, on anbitiocs, but still have that lingering tickle.
So today, I can't stand it any more. I have to work out. Light cardio should be okay. Get on the elliptical. My feet hurt, take the orthotics out, they continue to hurt. Okay, fine, be that way. To the bike I go, so I survive that. So I can finally put in my fitness tracker 46 minutes of cardio. It's not near what I have done in the past, but dangit, I got it done.
Of course we won't talk about the fact that I'm coughing up a lung again (at least I waited until I left the gym). Anyway I will beat this. Cardio this week, back to the weights next week. Should be interesting to see how much strength I've lost.
So it's December 6. I've promised myself I would bust this plateau this month. I can do this, Christmas and all. I only have one meal that could cause me some issues that I have to worry about because we don't have any parties scheduled. This can be done. If I can break the 170s this month, I can start January with great momentum.
Onward!!! I really could use a nap now...
Wednesday, December 01, 2010
Wow, it's been two weeks since I posted a blog. and I'm a venter, whiner, complainer, motivator, talker, etcer... is there such a word. Needless to say, it's still be rough. Financially things have not improved, gotten worse, but it's life. I'm looking into other employment because I am quite miserable at work, but it's a slow progress.
Thanksgiving came and went. I stayed up pretty much most of the night defrosting a 20 pound turkey (bought it way late and it was bigger than I usually cook) and baked pies (Notabouttheface has an awesome light pumpkin pie recipe). Anyway I was told that it was the best Thanksgiving dinner I've ever made. My very picky eater future daughter in law ate a bit of everything as did my sometimes very picky eater daughter did. She complained that there was no pecan pie, but she got over it. It wasn't a truly hateful complained, she's just being Ash. and then the drama started....
I started coughing and hacking about 4 pm, took a short nap and got up and did some stuff. Daughter waffles back and forth about going back to college because she had to work the next day. She ended up leaving that evening. THREE hours later, she calls me slightly hysterical telling me she has a flat tire. Okay, calm down, breath. We have roadside assistance, call them. Well, there is somebody here that might help. Now to help understand why she is slightly hysterical. One, she's beautiful and 20. Two, she's in the middle of nowhere, we were lucky she had cell reception. Three... she's in the middle of nowhere. Okay that was a little redundant. Okay, keep the phone on while you talk to them through the crack of your window. She hangs up the phone. (can I beat her senseless now?). She calls me back, it's a man and a woman and he checks the trunk, no spare, no donut.. Where is it? This is a car that routinely had flats until we changed the rims, where is the freaking donut? I guess the last place that changed her tires conveniently "borrowed" it? So anyway, he can't help her. She now calls roadside assistance. Tow truck driver calls her back, says it's about two hours. I guess more conversation ensued. One of his questions was are you alone? Okay, two ways of looking at that... he's a creep, or he's determining HOW quickly to get there. Anyway, she was creeped out by his tone and scared of being alone with him when he got there. SHEEEEEEOOOOOOOTTTTTT.... Crap. Okay, I'm on my way. Hubby has to work at 5:30 in the morning yuck. He's like, I'm not letting you go out alone, she's 3 hours out. Okay, fine. We start on the way. Not even 45 minutes out, she's texting, where are you. I tell her. Then she calls me. A deputy sheriff is here. Okay, good. Hangs up, calls me back. I told him how I felt about the tow truck driver and he said he would stay with me, even asked if I wanted him to bring his wife over. She said no. Anyway the gest of that was, turn around and go home mom. So, we did. Whew, that made a really long night only long. Anyway, she's $80 poorer for having to buy a new tire but she's safely home and we're back home about 11 pm. and my throat HURTS and I'm coughing and I have the beginnings of laryngitis.
I sleep until 1:00 p.m. the next day. Wow.. get up. clean up a little around the house, lie around some more. Hubby gets home, we eat and I lie around some more and at 7 p.m... oh crap.. I have to go get a birthday cake for grandma and make pasta salad. So off to the store in my slovenly state I go. Find one of the last cakes and take care of that issue. Make pasta salad and go to bed. Son gets there about midnight (he's going with us).
Sunday morning, off to grandma's we go. I call my brother when we are about two hours out. Where you at... Wal Mart, we haven't left yet? You haven't left WHERE yet,? Don't you have a six hour drive? No, no, we are with mom and two hours out. Okay, whew. Do we wait for you or go in? We were given permission to go in.... it's a good thing, we would have been wandering around for over an hour.
Anyway, grandmother's birthday was Sunday. She's 97. She got to see the whole family of her son (my father) all together again. We haven't done that in a few years because of all the drama with my mother. Mom compliments me on my weight loss first thing. That was crazy. My brother sent me an email this morning and said about the same thing. Wow... My grandmother didn't say I was getting fat as she has been doing lately. She did do that to my husband, although he too has lost about 20 pounds. Oh well, she's 97, what can a person do?
Anyway, it was a good visit. My mother seems like she is trying to change from her toxic/narcissistic behavior. She apologized for something she said she may have done in the past. It was brought up when we were discussing disciplining children. I spanked my son, but not my daughter (as much). Anyway, that's a whole long discussion.
So, all in all, I'm still sick. My eating has not sucked but I haven't been tracking because I haven't been eating that much. One meal a day seems like and just drinking a lot (water) because of the crap going on in my head. and I haven't worked out in a week. That's killing me. I'm going to get into the gym today and get back to some cardio. I don't think I could lift weights right now to save my life.
Getting back on track for December because our schedule won't change that much. Anyway, not much really to say but a lot of words said. Have a GREAT December.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Was at work this morning, talking work at first, and then the guy asked what does that mean. I had 11/1/2010 and the number 8 below it. I'm like uh a goal that I didn't make. So I tried to talk around it and I told him I wanted to lose 8 more pounds before that date. and it didn't happen. He was like "you're fine, you don't need to lose any more". You've done an awesome job the last few months. Wow.. that is coming from a gym rat. So then of course my profile pic pops up on my screen saver and he sees it and I'm like that's what I'm trying to get back to.. that's 8 pounds. He didn't say anything.
So later off to the gym I go, although I almost talked myself out of it because:
1) I was throwing up and other stuff yesterday
2) I felt really weak on my workout Monday, so I figured that was part of yesterday.
But I went, figured I would do something not too strenuous. Oh no, can't do that. I push and I can't bend my arms. BUT... I was doing tricep dips. First set I flared out and the trainer that has been helping me told me.. okay I'll pay more attention. The third set he brings the guy around that he's training, see how she's keeping the elbows tight and then points at my back, and look at that back, it's PERFECT. wow. thanks. I really work hard on my back. Wooooo weeee.
Now if I could get the lower back side in the same condition as the upper back side.
So, compliments make my day. I told my husband the other day that I hadn't lost a pound since July.. he's like yeah you have. Nope, scale is mean and vicious and vengeful and won't move. Now of course he's lost 10 in the last two weeks (I hate men) and he's not doing anything different except more walking at his job.
That's all I got. Still trying to lose that 8 pounds. But as my co-worker stated this morning, if you can get through the holidays maintaining, that's an accomplishment in itself too. Which he is absolutely right. and yes I will be at my gym Thursday morning after I put that turkey in the oven. It may just be cardio, but it will be something.
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