Thursday, August 26, 2010
Well really I don't, I'm exhausted today, but have had some good things to blog about. I took bikini pictures this morning. Wow.. the picture does not lie. Although I have lost 22 pounds, it's still a scary sight and I don't know if I have the cajones to post them. My back looks so much better though. I'm very proud there. Okay I added a pic.. Ignore the butt and sorry it's blurry. My phone and the mirror are not friends.
Hubby had an interview yesterday and another today. Yay.
The good things. Hubby actually told me how good my back looked the other day. He's horrible about not working out the back and I told him I do it regularly because I have a constant reminder every time I put on a bra. Bra flopover... YUCK, can't stand it. I hate rolls on my back, so that's where I've focused a lot of attention.. and my triceps. Those are harder to work now since the tendonitis keeps flaring up, but I still keep trying to get it in there. and, he commented on my legs. Now mind you, we've been together seven years and I've been 15 pounds thinner than this and he NEVER commented on my legs.. but he tells me they look good.... huh, who are you and where's my husband?
So yesterday as I was finishing up a brutal leg work out, I say hi to one of the regulars. He tells me "all your hard work is paying off, it is showing". His wife had already told me this about three weeks ago, actually the statement was "youre getting skinny". So, I left the gym in a good frame of mind.
Played a little sand volleyball last night. Actually got picked up for a team. Woo. Now I'm not very good and I haven't REALLY played in two years because of the surgeries, but for ONCE, I wasn't the person the other team picked on because I am so skillless. I was proud of mysef. AND.. I had a baby spike that got a point. I didn't push it and try to do any jumping or blocking because I'm still worried that my toe is broken (oh did I not tell you). The toe I had surgery on last December. I was getting out of the car and tripped and landed straight on it. Don't know if I broke it or scar tissue. It keeps swelling up, but I can run/walk/elliptical and everything on it. So I think it's really scar tissue.
Told my husband last night (so I made a goal) that next year, I was going to be the hot 48 year old wearing spandex out on the volleyball court (okay maybe not the spandex, but at least short shorts). Told him I was going to be even less than my Jamaica weight. So, I think I just set my goal to finish the last 28 pounds. From what I just saw of the pictures that I took, there's some major work to be done in the leg and butt area, but I can handle it. Guess it's time to ramp up that elliptical another notch.
But you know what I hate.. I have absolutely no girls.... they weren't big to start with, but geez, they've disappeared.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
I'm in a funk, so if you don't want to be depressed, don't read. There I gave the disclaimer.
Hubby still hasn't found a job, gone on an interview, etc. This is the second time in a year. It's so starting to get old. He's getting unemployment but barely. I get paid Friday and still am $2k short of all the bills that are due now. I'm so defeated. That and everything is going wrong. I can't bowl worth crap. My weight is not going down although I am actually still working out and staying within my calorie range. I'm not sleeping. I've just got nothing good happening in my life right now. I believe God, but I'm losing faith. I'm so sick of this kind of life and being beat down all the time.
I hate my job, moreso I hate corporate America. They just beat you down and over and over again. My job is fairly boring so that doesn't help. I'm sick of just being here for the paycheck.
and to add to it, everytime I try to do something on Spark, I get a timeout error. Not sure if it's them or they are trying to restrict my access to Spark here at work. Making me insane because I post something and it times out, so if it didn't save, I have to rewrite it. I don't like rewriting things.
I just want to go home and crawl in bed and stay there forever.
Monday, August 16, 2010
I just feel so derailed. I've been reading a bunch your guys blogs and how the strength training is making the difference, etc. I KNOW this and I love strength training... but this tendonitis in back with a vengeance in my elbow. It is making me crazy. I did cardio today and have been wrestling back and forth about whether I should go to the gym and do some light weight strength training on my upper body... my elbow feels fine... right now. It's been only four days since the last acute flare up. ARGH.. I KNOW I should leave it alone and give it some rest time, but it's so hard. I've been on a plateau for so long and want to ramp it up a notch. What to do, what to do???
Monday, August 16, 2010
Spent the whole day Saturday running from store to store. I mean the whole day, from 10 am and we rolled back home at 8 pm. She needed stuff for her apartment and a particular skirt for rush. I have to say, shopping for her is worse than shopping for me. She's a size 0. It's so hard to find that size. We finally found her skirt at Ann Taylor.. and thankfully it was on sale, majorly marked down. They had one in my size, but I'm waiting for pay day. I'm one of those, if it is still there when I get paid, then it was meant to be.
During this event, I had said that I wanted to get that same skirt in a size 8, because I was hoping that a 10 would end up too big too soon. She told me to get the 8. Then she said that she has never thought I was overweight. What a sweet child, huh?
Overall it was a good day. We had fun, but we were exhausted. She needd a comforter and had one picked out but couldn't find it. The store clerk told her that they were all sold out of that size. So me in my infinite wisdom keep searching the bins... yeah buddy, there it was the right size and the right weight. Woo hoo. Then the same thing happened with shoes. She needed some new black pumps to go with the yet unbought black pencil skirt. Bottom rack, clearance... yeah, there they are. So those type of things worked out well. Threw the clerks all off because she bought everything herself, they were expecting mom to fork over the credit card. She's paying for her own college, apartment and everything. She's a good kid.
Friday, August 13, 2010
I've been sitting here trying to figure out if I want to blog or not. I love to talk, love to write, but talking to myself gets boring after awhile.
Anyway, husband is still out of work. Not even any phone calls. It's very frustrating. Then of course his unemployment was denied for the first two weeks. Hopefully it's because of the severance, but he's been paid unemployment with severance before.. don't get it.
and I have stress at work. I have a new "boss" and he forgets to tell us (me and my co-worker) to do some work. Well we had a sit down yesterday and found out the stuff he is pressuring us to finish this week is not needed until December... WTH??? Why would you give us an unreasonable deadline? Anyway, he's not well liked in our group... many think he's a poser (and we've ALREADY had one of those) and it's just so frustrating. It makes me tired and not wanting to come to work. My co-worker called in today because he was so frustrated.
I have managed to keep my calories under control. I actually worked out more this week in the gym and started walking my terror, I mean my lab, Teddy. Since he's a year old and NOT leash trained yet, it's been quit amusing. Oh did I say he's VERY strong. I'm a pretty big girl (5'7", 175) but he can pull me around a bit with that 60-70 pounds of weight. We aren't sure how much he weighs. No scales in our house. First day he was horrible, keep jumping and wore himself out. Second and third day much better. Oh yeah, did I forget to mention, it's still 100 degrees when we go out.
I have to say, I'm kind of impressed with myself. With the amount of stress I've been under, I haven't hit the vending machine for my beloved Ding Dongs. I haven't doubled/tripled my soda intake. I haven't lost any weight in the past couple of weeks, but I haven't gained either. I had the couple of days with WAY too much beer but I feel fairly confident I worked that off.
I've had some days when I wonder why I'm doing this. Then I go out to my spark page and look at that February picture with my daughter and compare it to the July picture and I remember. Then I remember also I was planning on having another knee surgery in February because my knee hurt so bad, but now it doesn't even bother me. So there is a reason for this. I don't want to be comfortable at this weight, I really want to drop another 25, but I will do it when my body is ready to do it. I just have to walk the walk and walk the talk..... yeah yeah Cowboy fan, what can I say... I'm from Dallas
But it's been a Monday today... oh it is Friday the 13th. I got toothpaste in my eye (go figure that stuff STINGS). I couldn't find any yogurt to eat. That's my breakfast, what will I do. Couldn't find any more nuts. ARGH. and I get to work, actually talk to people, then go to my desk and look at my feet...... I have two DIFFERENT shoes on. OMYGOSH.. what else can happen. I did at least have my gym bag and it's jeans day so I went out to the truck and switched to my running shoes. Then I slam the door on my badge and get hung up on the door. I'm trying so hard not to cuss, but yeah a few expletives come out of my mouth. I did get my workout in, but I absolutely cannot take a deep breath without exertion. Don't know if it's the heat and the smog or what. About ready to steal my daughter's asthma medication.
Anyway, I think I'm just talking to talk. Everyone have a good weekend. Drink your water and watch your calories.
I just reread this.. wow I'm so across the board. Oh well love life.
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