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Yes, Energy, I have it

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Well really I don't, I'm exhausted today, but have had some good things to blog about. I took bikini pictures this morning. Wow.. the picture does not lie. Although I have lost 22 pounds, it's still a scary sight and I don't know if I have the cajones to post them. My back looks so much better though. I'm very proud there. Okay I added a pic.. Ignore the butt and sorry it's blurry. My phone and the mirror are not friends.

Hubby had an interview yesterday and another today. Yay.

The good things. Hubby actually told me how good my back looked the other day. He's horrible about not working out the back and I told him I do it regularly because I have a constant reminder every time I put on a bra. Bra flopover... YUCK, can't stand it. I hate rolls on my back, so that's where I've focused a lot of attention.. and my triceps. Those are harder to work now since the tendonitis keeps flaring up, but I still keep trying to get it in there. and, he commented on my legs. Now mind you, we've been together seven years and I've been 15 pounds thinner than this and he NEVER commented on my legs.. but he tells me they look good.... huh, who are you and where's my husband?


So yesterday as I was finishing up a brutal leg work out, I say hi to one of the regulars. He tells me "all your hard work is paying off, it is showing". His wife had already told me this about three weeks ago, actually the statement was "youre getting skinny". So, I left the gym in a good frame of mind.

Played a little sand volleyball last night. Actually got picked up for a team. Woo. Now I'm not very good and I haven't REALLY played in two years because of the surgeries, but for ONCE, I wasn't the person the other team picked on because I am so skillless. I was proud of mysef. AND.. I had a baby spike that got a point. I didn't push it and try to do any jumping or blocking because I'm still worried that my toe is broken (oh did I not tell you). The toe I had surgery on last December. I was getting out of the car and tripped and landed straight on it. Don't know if I broke it or scar tissue. It keeps swelling up, but I can run/walk/elliptical and everything on it. So I think it's really scar tissue.

Told my husband last night (so I made a goal) that next year, I was going to be the hot 48 year old wearing spandex out on the volleyball court (okay maybe not the spandex, but at least short shorts). Told him I was going to be even less than my Jamaica weight. So, I think I just set my goal to finish the last 28 pounds. From what I just saw of the pictures that I took, there's some major work to be done in the leg and butt area, but I can handle it. Guess it's time to ramp up that elliptical another notch.

But you know what I hate.. I have absolutely no girls.... they weren't big to start with, but geez, they've disappeared.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PAIGESMAMA 8/27/2010 2:52PM

    You can have some of my girls. they were a 34DDD before paige was born, now I'm a 36J. When I was at my skinniest (120 pounds) I was still a 34DD.

Great job on the success so far. You can do it. Keep you mind focused and you will conquer all.

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LHIEBEL 8/27/2010 10:34AM

  Looks like you are doing great!! and...you are motivating me! I definitely am going to do some pics this weekend--and I am with you about "the girls"--with age and losing weight--I think they ran away from home!

Hope you have a great day and a great weekend!


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SHARONGD 8/26/2010 2:35PM

    You have a great plan! congrats on the body changes!!!!! You can tell how hard you are working and you are getting results! And I turned 47 this year and I wear my spandex to work out without needing a t-shirt LOL! You can do it too for 48! Before it was all baggy loose and oversize to hide all the bulges....no more! The bulges disappeared! You keep it up....Woohoo! emoticon

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CBARRETT10 8/26/2010 2:07PM

  Sounds like your making great strides! Good luck!!
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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TKAYSMILES 8/26/2010 1:35PM

    You sound so much better then the last blog, I'm glad things seem to be picking up for you! You are doing awesome!! WTG!!!

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SHADICAR 8/26/2010 12:36PM

    Glad to know things are looking up. Great progress and I'm sure you'll accomplish what you desire. emoticon

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Lost my mojo

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

I'm in a funk, so if you don't want to be depressed, don't read. There I gave the disclaimer.
Hubby still hasn't found a job, gone on an interview, etc. This is the second time in a year. It's so starting to get old. He's getting unemployment but barely. I get paid Friday and still am $2k short of all the bills that are due now. I'm so defeated. That and everything is going wrong. I can't bowl worth crap. My weight is not going down although I am actually still working out and staying within my calorie range. I'm not sleeping. I've just got nothing good happening in my life right now. I believe God, but I'm losing faith. I'm so sick of this kind of life and being beat down all the time.

I hate my job, moreso I hate corporate America. They just beat you down and over and over again. My job is fairly boring so that doesn't help. I'm sick of just being here for the paycheck.

and to add to it, everytime I try to do something on Spark, I get a timeout error. Not sure if it's them or they are trying to restrict my access to Spark here at work. Making me insane because I post something and it times out, so if it didn't save, I have to rewrite it. I don't like rewriting things.

I just want to go home and crawl in bed and stay there forever.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PAIGESMAMA 8/23/2010 9:33PM

    I hope things are better for you today. I was on a mini vacation. Went into debt to go, but needed it.

You probably haven't seen the scale move because of stress. DOn;t give up. Life will get better.

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SHARONGD 8/23/2010 5:30PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
I heard a radio message this morning that said...as bad as things are now ...they will get better! It is the cycle of our lives....you appreciate the good after going thru the bad....and with all you are going thru right now I promise it will get better! Just pray about it and focus on what you can change and control and leave the rest to God to take care of! We went thru this last year from Aug - Feb. before my husband got work again...very scarry times but I must say we grew closer thru the experience and used our resources to make the best of a bad situation. Trust that God is there for you...I promise it will get better.....but even when it does we will go thru bad again....that old cycle....lol!!!! Praying for you and family! Be strong.
Sharon emoticon

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SHADICAR 8/23/2010 1:35PM

    If I could say the perfect thing to help you through this rough time in life I would, but don't know if can I'll take a stab at it. What has always helped me in rough times is to look at all the good in my life and appreciate that, praise that, lift that up. Look for the GOOD and magnify it even if it is small. I have prayed and did not ask God for anything-only thanked him for what I have and who I am. Also I have learned to not waste time on what I can't change. When my mind heads down that path I redirect my thinking. Worrying will not change squat, it gives you a headache, irritation, frustration and a truckload full of other emotions that you don't want to have. Also, I look around me and see people that have it worse than I do-that doesn't mean I'm glad others are having problems. It just means that no one has a perfect life. There are always problems in life, but God can give us the ability to cope with problems. This is my own personal testimony and is all said with love. Will be praying for you. Here is a song that expresses what I'm trying to say. This song has helped me.

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TKAYSMILES 8/20/2010 1:52PM

    Hugs to you! There is little I can say to help right now! I wish there was some kind of comfort I could give you! Just take one day at a time and be kind to yourself!

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FOCUSEDDIANE 8/18/2010 3:28PM

    Wow! You have a lot going on right now. All of the stress may be the reason you have plateau-ed.

I don't think there is much I can say to make you feel better.
However....please know that I am praying you better days and sending you a big
emoticon emoticon

You are not alone!

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HPLANDER 8/18/2010 2:27PM

    I am sorry you are having a hard time. Excess stress and sleep deprivation will really hurt your weight loss efforts. Sleep is so important in your journey and the stress is probably adding weight around your midsection. Sounds like you need to exhaust yourself with some intense working out. Just make sure you do this a few hours before bed so you have time to unwind and get a good night's rest. Life is not always fair, but it is still yours to live. You can decide to take control of it.

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    I'm so sorry you are going through this. I've had some tough times recently as well. I try to remind myself of an old saying, "It is always darkest before the dawn."

If you ever want to vent, just send me a message. Say anything you want. Sometimes it's good to be able to just release our frustrations to someone who is willing to listen.

Know that God really will carry you through this storm. Sometimes it seems like we are alone but we really aren't. Remember that you will come out of this even stronger.

Believe that better times are ahead of you. I know that they are!


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Monday, August 16, 2010

I just feel so derailed. I've been reading a bunch your guys blogs and how the strength training is making the difference, etc. I KNOW this and I love strength training... but this tendonitis in back with a vengeance in my elbow. It is making me crazy. I did cardio today and have been wrestling back and forth about whether I should go to the gym and do some light weight strength training on my upper body... my elbow feels fine... right now. It's been only four days since the last acute flare up. ARGH.. I KNOW I should leave it alone and give it some rest time, but it's so hard. I've been on a plateau for so long and want to ramp it up a notch. What to do, what to do???

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

40PLUSANDFIT 8/17/2010 5:54PM

    So I was hanging out at the smokers lounge (I don't smoke, but I was frozen into a human popsicle, so was outside sitting in the sun) and this guy that I've talked to a couple of times says hi. He asks what I've been up to, which sports, etc. None, just working out. So what do you do in the gym, lift weights and cardio. What body parts do you work, upper and lower body. He said he didn't really like women to work their upper body. DUDE... Delts and those beautiful dents in the bicep and tricep area are downright SEXY!!!! What's wrong with you. Of course I didn't say it.

that and I told someone I was 47 today. He didn't believe me.... love it!!!

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    I can understand wanting the arms now. I feel the same way about my shoulders. I used to have GREAT shoulder and now they seem to be taking their time in taking the shape I want. I won't even get into how I feel about my thighs!

For me, though, a big struggle is my right calf muscle. It atrophied like crazy when I broke my tibia and fibula. It's been a beast to develop it again. It was so puny and so many movements were downright painful.

We're getting better with each work-out. Remember, it's during the rest that the muscle actually has the chance to rebuild from the work we do to it. If we don't rest the muscles enough, we do more damage than good!

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40PLUSANDFIT 8/17/2010 2:44PM

    Did the leg workout. Thankfully the tendonitis I have allows me to let my arm hang loose, which means I can hold a weight for squats or deadlifts. It's the whole bending it into a curl that causes me to scream in pain. I'll get through this.. just want awesome arms.... NOW~!!!!!!!!!

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    I'm with all the others that say listen to your body.

You're doing your cardio which is so important. Many people would just veg around altogether but you are doing what you can while still giving your elbow the rest time it needs.

If you really feel you need to do something more, maybe you can strength train the lower body a little bit. Squats and lunges are great exercise. They won't work the upper body but they will add to your calorie deficit. They also increase strength and balance for bending and squatting in real life, also improving your strength for when you're doing cardio. You can do these without holding the weights for now so that you don't aggravate your elbow.

Of course, don't do anything your doctor wouldn't have you to do!

Wishing you speedy healing!

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40PLUSANDFIT 8/17/2010 9:35AM

    Yeah, I know. My brain says rest.. my arms say.. I'm so flabby, work me, work me. I'll work the legs more. Thinking up my workout today.

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MOMMYBYCHOICE 8/17/2010 9:16AM

    looks like you got your answer......

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BARBARAROCKSIT 8/16/2010 11:42PM

    *throws her vote in with Sharongo and Paige's Mama*

Sounds like the right plan to stay healthy but make progress!


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PAIGESMAMA 8/16/2010 9:03PM

    So ramp it up. Do cardio and lower body ST. The lower body has the larger muscles and can get the fat burning machine going faster than an upper body workout anyway. Rest the elbow a little longer. YOu know in your heart it is too soon.

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SHARONGD 8/16/2010 8:37PM

    I would rest it for now...no sense in putting it off...needs to heal. What about working on lower body weights? still strength trainnning in the largest muscle group....good luck but listen to your body! emoticon emoticon

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My Baby is back to college

Monday, August 16, 2010

Spent the whole day Saturday running from store to store. I mean the whole day, from 10 am and we rolled back home at 8 pm. She needed stuff for her apartment and a particular skirt for rush. I have to say, shopping for her is worse than shopping for me. She's a size 0. It's so hard to find that size. We finally found her skirt at Ann Taylor.. and thankfully it was on sale, majorly marked down. They had one in my size, but I'm waiting for pay day. I'm one of those, if it is still there when I get paid, then it was meant to be.

During this event, I had said that I wanted to get that same skirt in a size 8, because I was hoping that a 10 would end up too big too soon. She told me to get the 8. Then she said that she has never thought I was overweight. What a sweet child, huh?

Overall it was a good day. We had fun, but we were exhausted. She needd a comforter and had one picked out but couldn't find it. The store clerk told her that they were all sold out of that size. So me in my infinite wisdom keep searching the bins... yeah buddy, there it was the right size and the right weight. Woo hoo. Then the same thing happened with shoes. She needed some new black pumps to go with the yet unbought black pencil skirt. Bottom rack, clearance... yeah, there they are. So those type of things worked out well. Threw the clerks all off because she bought everything herself, they were expecting mom to fork over the credit card. She's paying for her own college, apartment and everything. She's a good kid.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PAIGESMAMA 8/16/2010 9:01PM

    Sounds like you spent some good time together before she went back.

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SHARONGD 8/16/2010 8:45PM

    You are very blessed to have such a thoughtful and responsible girl! congrats!!! emoticon

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MOMM4LIFE 8/16/2010 3:10PM

    It is good to know that I am not in the college boat alone. My son is in his junior year and moved off campus into an apartment (run by student housing - still need rules). We spent all Friday shopping and I felt like I had worked all day.

I miss him already and he has only been gone 1 day! I think it is getting harder for me to send him off to school because there is going to be a day when he doesn't come back to my home, but makes a home of his own.

Hang in there Moms!!! We have the toughest job in the world! emoticon

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40PLUSANDFIT 8/16/2010 2:23PM

    Good luck with that. Boys are so different. My boy is on his own, but it's been a struggle.

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SHIPESTA 8/16/2010 2:21PM

    I have a senior this year and I am seriously hoping he is that responsible by the time he goes to college next year! He has the job already and does tend to pay for things himself, so I'm crossing my fingers and hoping! Way to go on raising such a responsible girl!

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Emotional Week

Friday, August 13, 2010

I've been sitting here trying to figure out if I want to blog or not. I love to talk, love to write, but talking to myself gets boring after awhile.

Anyway, husband is still out of work. Not even any phone calls. It's very frustrating. Then of course his unemployment was denied for the first two weeks. Hopefully it's because of the severance, but he's been paid unemployment with severance before.. don't get it.

and I have stress at work. I have a new "boss" and he forgets to tell us (me and my co-worker) to do some work. Well we had a sit down yesterday and found out the stuff he is pressuring us to finish this week is not needed until December... WTH??? Why would you give us an unreasonable deadline? Anyway, he's not well liked in our group... many think he's a poser (and we've ALREADY had one of those) and it's just so frustrating. It makes me tired and not wanting to come to work. My co-worker called in today because he was so frustrated.

I have managed to keep my calories under control. I actually worked out more this week in the gym and started walking my terror, I mean my lab, Teddy. Since he's a year old and NOT leash trained yet, it's been quit amusing. Oh did I say he's VERY strong. I'm a pretty big girl (5'7", 175) but he can pull me around a bit with that 60-70 pounds of weight. We aren't sure how much he weighs. No scales in our house. First day he was horrible, keep jumping and wore himself out. Second and third day much better. Oh yeah, did I forget to mention, it's still 100 degrees when we go out.

I have to say, I'm kind of impressed with myself. With the amount of stress I've been under, I haven't hit the vending machine for my beloved Ding Dongs. I haven't doubled/tripled my soda intake. I haven't lost any weight in the past couple of weeks, but I haven't gained either. I had the couple of days with WAY too much beer but I feel fairly confident I worked that off.

I've had some days when I wonder why I'm doing this. Then I go out to my spark page and look at that February picture with my daughter and compare it to the July picture and I remember. Then I remember also I was planning on having another knee surgery in February because my knee hurt so bad, but now it doesn't even bother me. So there is a reason for this. I don't want to be comfortable at this weight, I really want to drop another 25, but I will do it when my body is ready to do it. I just have to walk the walk and walk the talk..... yeah yeah Cowboy fan, what can I say... I'm from Dallas

But it's been a Monday today... oh it is Friday the 13th. I got toothpaste in my eye (go figure that stuff STINGS). I couldn't find any yogurt to eat. That's my breakfast, what will I do. Couldn't find any more nuts. ARGH. and I get to work, actually talk to people, then go to my desk and look at my feet...... I have two DIFFERENT shoes on. OMYGOSH.. what else can happen. I did at least have my gym bag and it's jeans day so I went out to the truck and switched to my running shoes. Then I slam the door on my badge and get hung up on the door. I'm trying so hard not to cuss, but yeah a few expletives come out of my mouth. I did get my workout in, but I absolutely cannot take a deep breath without exertion. Don't know if it's the heat and the smog or what. About ready to steal my daughter's asthma medication.

Anyway, I think I'm just talking to talk. Everyone have a good weekend. Drink your water and watch your calories. emoticon

I just reread this.. wow I'm so across the board. Oh well love life.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOMMYBYCHOICE 8/16/2010 10:56AM

    hey I enjoyed your blog I thought I actualy commented guess I didn't hope you have a great mondya.

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ANDYINBC 8/15/2010 12:22PM

    In the midst of all this stress, you have been careful with your food and working out. You have kept your focus and are doing amazing. Way to go! I wish you a better week next week and the week after and the week after and so on and so on. emoticon

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MBSKIT 8/15/2010 11:54AM

    emoticon WOW you had a day where I thinkI would ahve sat in a corneer and cried!
emoticon on not kncokingover the vending machine to eat those Dind Dongs! It is awesome that you are manitaining during this stressful time in your life.
Hang in there!

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PAIGESMAMA 8/14/2010 8:36AM

    I am so sorry things haven't been going your way. It seems that when it rains it pours with problems.
Great job with sticking to the plan and comparing pictures. You can do this.

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TEEAIRUH 8/13/2010 3:52PM

    You're a better woman than I am! I would have been pounding down the door of the vending machine for any ONE of those crazy incidents. Great job for sticking to your guns and following through with promises you made to yourself. Great perspective as well on the progress you've made! Congratulations and enjoy your weekend!

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